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Nobody With A Pulse Should Be Surprised By Josh Duggar's Arrest

Scary Mommy and Kris Connor/Getty

In today’s episode of News That Should Only Surprise You If You Are Rip Van Winkle, Josh Duggar (the oldest spawn of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, the two most eerily calm, cheerful Stepfords to exist on planet earth) was arrested yesterday. Today the charges were announced. He allegedly received and possessed child pornography. He pled not guilty to both charges, and obviously, he is legally innocent until proven guilty.

Now that we have that out of the way, can I just say WHO THE FUCK DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING?

This is the same Josh Duggar who, in 2015, admitted to touching his little sisters during his teen years, being “addicted” to porn, using Ashley Madison, a website designed to facilitate affairs, and cheating on his wife (possibly with an exotic dancer who came forward and alleged that he attacked her during a paid encounter, spitting on her, choking her and calling her names, although she eventually dropped the case.)

It’s not exactly a huge leap to assume his sexually deviant, sometimes criminal behaviors were not isolated indiscretions or whatever the fuck he wants us to think.

The guy, in my opinion, is a fucking creepazoid, and whatever sexually abusive thing anyone accuses him of, I’m prone to respond with, “Yeah, sounds about right.”

Child porn isn’t such a leap for a person who has admitted to molestation and porn addiction.

As if this wasn’t horrid enough on its own, this guy has six children and a daughter on the way with his wife, Anna, who I consider another of his many victims.

Both Josh and Anna grew up in oppressive, sexist fundamentalist evangelical Christian environments (but like, so did I and I am not a sexual deviant or an idiot, so that’s no excuse.) But it is kind of an explanation for why this piece of shit is still married and reproducing.

I am 99.9% sure Anna somehow thinks forgiving him over and over is godly. It’s highly likely she thinks that divorcing him would be a sin, and that God can deliver him from these proclivities. She has bought, hook, line and sinker, whatever other bullshit they drill into “good girls” in those circles.

Josh has had ample opportunities to do whatever the hell he wants 24/7 without being questioned because a good fundie girl would NEVER. If anyone had the time and means to hide some child porn, I personally think it’s Josh Fucking Duggar.

I will say that this topic lights me on fire because a few years ago, a friend of mine was arrested for child porn.

I met him and his wife back in my own super fundamentalist days, so I have a pretty good insider POV on this situation.

My former friend was caught. (He actually got beautifully narced out by a kid he tried to molest in person. The kid noped the fuck out of there, told his mom, and the pedo ended up in the clink. It was spectacular to watch.)

After he did his time, he got out, moved across the country to start over, and through all of this, his devoted wife stayed with him.

But then, he got caught again. I know. You’re shocked, right? A couple years in prison actually didn’t cure a pedophile?! Who would have thought?!

And it wasn’t until that second conviction that his wife was finally like, “Oh, shit. I think this asshole might actually be guilty.”

So, now my ex-friend is locked up for a long-ass time, and his wife is boning someone new, and they’re both exactly where they deserve to be, which brings me back to Anna.

Anna, girl, it’s time to run.

You should have run in 2015 when the molestation/cheating scandal broke, but there’s not much we can do about that. I know you got married when you were so young that your baby teeth were probably still falling out or something. You know nothing about the world or how to raise a half dozen kids alone. I get it, Annie (can I call you Annie?), but I swear there’s more waiting for you than this miserable, scandalous life.

I’d love to see you escape the religion that oppressed you into this hell-on-earth. If you don’t want to leave, I am pretty much 100 percent certain that another nice, marginally attractive evangelical man who tucks polo shirts into his jeans, budgets using Dave Ramsey’s envelope system, and thinks “gosh darnit” is a curse word will be willing to take you on. He will be the “spiritual head” of your new household, and you’ll be able to stay home and make tater tot casserole for all your current kids, and even have a few of his. You don’t have to stand by your man when your man is a molesting, cheating piece of human shit. Jesus did not say that. I assure you.

This kind of shit is what happens when we sweep abuses under the rug over and over.

Maybe the proper counseling and consequences could have helped Josh when he was a young teenager. I don’t know if that’s a thing or not. But I am of the opinion that he is beyond help now. If these charges stick (and I am PRAYING they do) Josh Duggar should never get a chance to be alone with his children or any child ever again.

I hope someone is interviewing all of his youngest siblings, his children and his nieces and nephews in the meantime. I personally think these two charges are just the tip of a dark, horrifying iceberg of abuse and deception that Josh Duggar and his enabling parents and church have been covering up for almost twenty years.

Prison is too good for Josh Duggar, but I’d still like to see him live there for a while.