An Ode To The Mom Who 'Just Sits There' During A Tantrum

by Maria Guido
Image via Shutterstock

You’re not always going to be epic at this parenting thing. And that’s okay.

I was the perfect mother before I actually became one. I mean, she was epic — this mother I would surely become (in my head). I’m pretty sure I have my karma child because of the way I used to look down the end of my nose at women who had unruly toddlers. Life is fair like that – if you are a smug asshole about anything, it usually comes back at you three-fold.

Then you have a child and you realize that you will definitely be the mother with the tantrumming kid at one point or another. And since you’re not a robot, sometimes it’s going to be harder than others to deal with this. You know what? Just getting through it with your sanity intact is a win, moms.

You’re not always going to have the answers. You’re not always going to have the perfectly behaved child. You’re not always going to be epic at this parenting thing. And that’s okay.

It’s okay.

Constance Hall, everyone’s favorite no-bullshit blogger addressed the topic of tantrums this week: namely that they happen to the best of us.

“A friend told me that she saw a mum in a cafe whose kid was throwing a royal fuckery of a tantrum and she had the audacity to just sit there,” she begins. “I have been that mum. I have bribed, I have begged, I have stroked a child during a tantrum, I have lugged that child to the car, I reminded myself that it’s going to be ok and repeatedly told my child that I loved him, that she was going to see consequences if she didn’t stop… I have felt like throwing a god dam tanty my cunting self after one and I have also been that women, who sat there and did nothing.”

The longer you are a parent, the greater the odds are that you are eventually going to have one of those days when you just hit that wall. When all you can manage is to just be there next to your screaming child, take a few deep breaths, and try not to have a nervous breakdown. Because you’re human. And again…

it’s okay.

You’ll get through it, and next time you’ll pull some tricks out of your mom hat and handle it like a pro. Or not. But just remember that the tantrum is something we all go through — sometimes you just have to breathe through it and let it pass.

As Hall says, “being there and doing nothing are two very different things.”