Someone Is Trying To Make 'The Office Bod' A Thing, And Just Stop

by Valerie Williams

People heading back to the office after a year of working from home are worried about their “office bod” and just, no

This might be a good time to remember that your body has, so far, gotten you through a global pandemic that has killed literal millions of people and made millions more very sick. Now that the COVID-19 situation is in a more hopeful place thanks to widely available vaccines (that not everyone is getting, which means a new variant has been allowed to develop putting our progress so far in peril, but I digress) people are headed back to the office. Tons of American employees have been doing the work-from-home thing since the start of the pandemic and now, the office is making a comeback. But you know what we’re not letting become a thing? The office bod.

Not today, Satan. Frankly, not ever.

That’s right — some folks are staring down that return to the office and instead of just mourning their future loss of extra free time thanks to lack of commute and the ability to work without a bra on, they’re panicking about having put on some weight while working through a scary pandemic. Love that journey for us. According to Bloomberg, the “office bod” is definitely on employees’ minds and it really shouldn’t be. I mean, haven’t we been through enough this year?

“Americans who soothed themselves with calorie-laden comfort foods are frantically trying to slim down for the perfect office bod,” the publication explains. “Gym memberships are up, personal trainers are booked and digital subscriptions to WW, the company formerly known as Weight Watchers, were 16% higher at the end of the first quarter from a year earlier.”

Ugh. This just makes me sad. I understand wanting to feel good and be healthy but the idea of someone feeling like they need to be more svelte before returning to in-person work after getting through these last 16 months just makes me want to cry.

There’s just so many huge things going on as we transition back to “normal” and putting on the pressure to lose weight feels like we’re being mean to ourselves, doesn’t it? Families are adjusting after months and months of living life this way. Trying to get used to going back to the commute rat-race, leaving your poor dog home alone after a year of constant togetherness, and a return to office politics is quite enough stress, thanks. There’s also the matter of the ongoing pandemic, so while we try to avoid becoming sick at work with a still-spreading plague we shouldn’t also have to think about how our stomach fits in a pair of pants. If humanity ever deserved a damn break and an office dress code that allows leggings, it’s now.

Like, we literally don’t have to do this to ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put healthy foods into your body and to move that body in a way that makes you feel amazing, but to put pressure on ourselves to have a certain type of figure when returning to work after a pretty wild year is just cruel. If this is how you are thinking right now, I invite you to be kind to yourself. That office is gonna get whatever body you give it, and if you need to buy a few pairs of bigger pants (or some very professional-looking stretchy pants), then so be it.