Can Everyone STFU & Stop Asking Me When We Will Cut My Son's Hair?

Neither my husband nor I ever had hair like my son's, but somehow he has curls that women would pay hundreds for at the salon. I would know, because I've been told so over and over again. His perfectly bouncy ringlets have become his signature look. You know Spencer by his hair.

I'm always shocked when I look back at old photos to see how it's grown. He's gone from Bob Ross to Felicity. It undeniably makes him unique, and while he often gets mistaken for a girl, it doesn't particularly bother me (9 times out of 10, it's an older white woman who makes the mistake). However, it does seem to irk several of our family members.

"When are you getting him a haircut?" The questioning, paired with passive-aggressive comments, has become almost as commonplace as "How are you?" And just when I start to consider it, we'll be out and about, and someone else will point out his gorgeous head of hair. The more I hear it from our family, the less I want to do it.

Anyone who has gone through the many clichéd life stages (first comes love…) can probably relate. "When are you getting married?" "When are you going to have a baby?" Maybe it's not as obvious that asking about his haircut is just as much of a trigger as those other questions can be, but it is.

My son attends a Jewish preschool, and the more religious Jews have a tradition of waiting until 3 years old to cut a male child's hair. It's called an Upsherin, and I was completely unfamiliar with the concept until we started attending this school. Accordingly, another frequent question to us became, "Are you waiting until he is three to cut it?" We weren't, but it's somehow placed this timeline upon us.

My son turned 3 this past weekend. I never imagined loving motherhood this much. He drives me insane, but I am also obsessed with him. Fairly standard, I know. We are also expecting a baby this month. Change has never been my strong suit, and the idea of my son no longer being the baby is hitting hard. A haircut feels like the physical manifestation of that change. He's going to look more grown-up when it's done. I've seen many (OK, most) of his friends get their hair cut, and it undeniably gives them a more mature look. I'm trying to grasp onto my little boy, our family of three, before this huge shift comes our way.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there's also a control issue happening here. I'm a pushover. I tend to choose the path of least resistance rather than argue for what I truly believe. Yet, becoming a mother has made me an expert in one area: my son. Spencer loves his hair. It makes him happy when people take notice — he's a ham. Furthermore, he's old enough for me to flat-out ask if he wants a haircut, and he's always said, "No."

However, there has been a shift these last two weeks. As much as it pains me, the back of his hair has become a landmine of tangles that I can't control. You can tell what he's eaten during the day based on what's stuck in his hair at night.

One afternoon, we decided to take a walk over to a nearby kids' salon and peek inside. My son saw the racecar chair and the TV on the wall, and we met a stylist who seemed skilled in curls. Our son has since been telling us he wants a haircut. My husband, who has also shut down any questions about the haircut from family, is on board as well.

So, it looks like it might just be time for another big change. But that is our decision to make, whenever we decide to make it.

Dyana Goldman is a podcast producer and contributing writer to Scary Mommy with bylines in several other online publications, including PureWow, PopSugar, and Hello Giggles! She is a fitness and food enthusiast who’ll try anything in either category at least once, and is also the proud owner of one green water bottle previously owned by David Schwimmer. She lives in the LA area with her husband Gregg, son Spencer, and a Bernedoodle named Chester. You can find her on Instagram @dygold.