Don't ask, don't tell

From The Confessional: I Did What I Had To Do

These parents took matters into their own hands... for better or worse.

by Emma Coburn
Originally Published: 
Emma Chao/Scary Mommy; Getty Images

Sometimes — in parenting and in life — you just need to play whatever cards you have. Kid won’t go back to sleep? 2am snacks on the couch it is. Desperately need to be alone? Time for a “personal day” no one knows about. Can’t stand your MIL? She won’t notice you’ve been “breastfeeding” in the other room for more than an hour, right? You may not be bragging about these moments to everyone you know, but an anonymous confessional is a different story...

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, please tell all through the link here. And if you want to browse past Confessions, head here.

I took an extra day on a business trip. I just wanted to sleep in a bed alone, eat alone, and BE alone.

Confessional #9537203

I took a personal day from work and didn't tell anyone - not even my hubby. I got ready for "work" and got a massage and came home and napped in the silence for hours. Not a single phone call interrupting me since I was "working" all day!

Confessional #8458152

DS got his phone taken at school today. His life is ruined & is dying a slow death, that phone is his breath and blood. Darn, school is closed until Mon. I'm laughing inside. I picked his phone up from school earlier, but he doesn't know!

Confessional #6400709

I follow the pages for SILs kids activities on FB. I then make sure we have something scheduled whenever they don't. Haven't seen them in 6 months and H has no clue. I feel like an evil genius. Bonus: they are out of town for xmas so the streak lives

Confessional #2070968

DH bought me nothing for Christmas. My family sent us a card with money in it. I kept it and told no one.

Confessional #8682866

How long is it acceptable to stay in the bedroom 'breastfeeding' when your MIL and far-from-darling SS's are visiting? Asking for a friend.

Confessional #7344634

I said I have to work this mothers day. But what i plan to do is sit at on the internet and eat snacks while my family drives an hour to.sit in a crowded lunch with my inlaws.

Confessional #4270465

H refuses to get rid of ugly clothes he's owned for 20 yrs that don't even fit him anymore, so I've started throwing away one piece of clothing of his a month. 4 months in and he has yet to notice. I win!

Confessional #2191326

I just found my DD17's pot stash. I replaced it with Oregano. I wish I could see her face when she realizes she's been caught.

Confessional #2360231

So 5 people in my neighborhood have received their dog's shit back in a bag on their front stoops for not cleaning up after them. Once my kid stepped in it and tracked it into MY house, I was DONE with these lazy a**holes.

Confessional #6642980

I got a little sick yesterday and decided to milk it. Y'all. It was the best day ever. I slept til 11 (DH got up with the kids and did all the morning parenting) then I had lunch and went back to sleep til 4! Basically I had a man cold. It was glorious.

Confessional #2642156

So tired today and didn't want to leave the house. Told H if he did all my errands I would stay home and shovel the driveway for him. Then I paid the neighbour kid to do it while I watched netflix and binged

Confession #9165241

I'm a teacher. I write and give my boss fake common core lesson plans then I secretly teach my students the arts and stuff instead.

Confessional #2527145

I did my fourth grader’s math homework last night just to get it over with.

Confessional #760358

Shhh. That frozen bag of "veggies" nobody likes in freezer hides my chocolate stash for myself only. None for husband or kids.

Confessional #4878751

DS woke up crying. Usually I'd let him cry back to sleep, but I'm PMSing and starving. We're now watching TV and eating snacks like drunk besties at 2a.m.

Confessional #2831597

I do my kids homework sometimes because after a 8 hour work I have zero fight left in me. 😒

Confessional #365981

I keep chips in my car so I don’t have to share with my kids

Confessional #239481

I can’t remember the last time my 5yo had a shower and I don’t see it happening today...

Confessional #349281

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