Gina Rodriguez Opens Up About Postpartum Anxiety & The Village That Got Her Through It

Nine in 10 people say they’re happy to help a new parent. Sixty-two percent of moms say asking for help is the hard part. If you’ve ever dissociated while staring at a well-meaning “let me know if you need anything!” text while bleary-eyed from being awake all night with a baby that barely sleeps, you know exactly how wide that gap is. And it’s exactly why Gina Rodriguez wants to help make it way easier for new moms to get the support they need.

“I was straight debilitated in those first few weeks postpartum,” the actress and mom of two tells Scary Mommy of the tough stretch after welcoming daughter Lucille last year. She’d already done it once with son Charlie, but the second time served as the ultimate reminder that motherhood truly does take a village. So, she’s partnering with Philips Avent on the Share the Care Connector: a just-launched SMS tool that organizes a mom’s village for her, whether it’s sending her people time prompts to drop off a meal or just a quick check-in.

Rodriguez opens up to us about her own postpartum anxiety, what really helped the second time around, and which recent roles she’d be down to return to.

Scary Mommy: What does it mean to be able to mobilize support in those first few postpartum months?

Gina Rodriguez: It's priceless. I did not have this program when I had my first child or my second, and I know that it would have alleviated so much loneliness and fear. I was straight debilitated in those first few weeks of postpartum.

It also would remind you that there are people who want to show up for you. After you have a baby and you have that drop of hormones, you believe it could not be more lonely of an experience. Yet, you're exhilarated because you're holding onto this beautiful piece of your soul. It's the dichotomy of those feelings; you don't even know how to express them or explain them or even hold them within. So for me, the partnership with Philips Avent was imperative because motherhood was never meant to be done alone.

And, at least for me, it is so hard for me to ask for help.

SM: 100%, moms really struggle with that.

GR: I was always so good at asking for help in my career. When it came to motherhood, it was like this mixture of guilt. I have to do it all by myself. I have to do it for my babies. I want my babies to see Mommy, and Mommy's the one that has to be there. But if Mommy is a shell of a woman, how is Mommy showing up?

When you uplift moms, it benefits the whole family in a way that I didn't really recognize until my second child.

SM: What does it look like when someone shows up in a truly meaningful way?

GR: Postpartum care does not exist. And I am so blessed. I know I'm blessed. I grew up with very, very little, and I have a very different life now than the way my mom raised us ... And still, the greatest gift you can give somebody is your time.

I don't need things. I don't need another baby toy. I needed to talk to somebody at times. I needed somebody to help me with the dishes. I needed somebody to maybe do the laundry so that I could just hold her and not think about how there are no more clean onesies because she just blew out the last four.

When my daughter was born, my son had croup and he couldn't be around her without a mask. The guilt, the pain! But I had his godparents, who are my best friends; they stayed with us the whole week … and they cooked for him and they cleaned and they played with him and they held him and they held him in a way that only I thought I could hold him. They mean everything to me. They don't even realize that I would give them the world.

SM: We just wrote about texts to send your mom friend when she’s struggling that aren’t just like, ‘Let me know if you need anything!’ It’s hard to ask for help, but it’s also hard to know how to give it.

GR: When somebody asked me, ‘Let me know what you need?’ I'd be like, ‘I don't know, but something? Do you know? Can you tell me? Tell me what I need. Please, somebody tell me what I need.’ Because I know there's a hole … I feel it. I feel this gaping hole, but what is it? [This initiative] is so curated to make sure that a mom is not being asked that.

SM: You had Lucille last year, who joined big brother Charlie. What did you know to ask for the second time around that you didn’t the first?

GR: With Charlie, we did everything; I had no assistance. I occasionally asked my mom for help to cook. I'd be like, ‘Mom, we're not eating. We're not eating food. Can you please come in?’ And so my mom would come and cook maybe once or twice a week.

With Lucille, I was like, ‘I know that if somebody can help me with chores that I can breastfeed her every hour and a half and put her to bed and make sure that she's changed and make sure that she is alive. I could do that. I can do that by myself if I don't have to think about all the chores because I can't do all the chores.’ So Dad would be on laundry duty, and my mom would help with more food.

That was something we did not know the first time around was like, ‘Oh, you have to cook three times a day. That is a lot.’ We would make jokes like, ‘Can't we just do this not three times a day?’ But our toddler was like, ‘Oh, I would love to eat, please.’

It's all the chores I needed help with, and I didn't have that the first time around. So I got a mama helper that helped me with chores, and that was crucial.

SM: You’ve said postpartum anxiety hit you the second time around. What did that look like?

GR: I was like, ‘Oh, wow, this is a big old train I did not know was coming for me.’ Then the village showed up to help so that I could help myself for a second. The first time I didn't have that experience.

My husband was very loving and supportive and helped me through all of that … my sisters showed up, my friends. My best friend who has two children around the same age was like, ‘Let's talk, girl. All the ugly, all the scary. Let's go in.’ And then I got therapy. So there was a lot more the second time around that I was not expecting, but then I had a lot more help. And I was like, ‘If I don't get help, I know I'm going to drown.’

My first time around, I was able to be all in and, like, happy thoughts. The second time around, there were some scary thoughts and nobody prepares you for that, and that's OK. There are seasons in life. One thing I kept holding onto was I know that the only thing constant is change. So I'm going to move through all these different things and I'm going to give myself grace, and I'm going to allow myself to move through these things and not will them to be gone that second because I knew that that was going to be impossible.

SM: Your birthday [was] July 30. What does a birthday even look like with two under 4? Are you a "big celebration" person or a "please just let me nap" person?

GR: I'm an in-between. I definitely don't need to be celebrated, but I do want to be with the people that I love the most. So it was a point when my husband asked me … ‘Your birthday, what do you want to do for your birthday?’ And I was like, ‘Go to dinner with you? I would love to be with the kids all day and then have a dinner where there's not a child in my lap. I would love that. I'm OK with an hour away where I can eat, maybe even an hour and a half where I can eat and not rush or stuff it in my face or eat the remnants of what they're eating."

And he was like, ‘Me? You just want to be with me?’ I was like, ‘Yes, sweetie. I just want to be with food alone. But yes, you can come and join.’ I was like, ‘No, I do. I just want to be with him, and I want to eat slow. I want to be with my kids and maybe sleep in that morning. That would be cool.’ ... And a shower.

SM: Oh yeah. Or a bath even.

GR: Ah, a bath, like a 12-minute bath.

SM: Now we’re just talking crazy.

GR: Yeah, gotta pull it back. I knew I went too far, so thanks for giving me a dose of reality.

SM: Anytime. Well, Jane the Virgin remains a comfort show for so many moms. What are your go-to comfort shows?

GR: We're not in the season of being able to watch anything, which is OK. We literally started a new show yesterday, and I watched about 17 minutes before one of the babies woke up. I was like, ‘That's 17 more minutes than we've seen in a long time.’

The only time we have alone is when we put the babies to sleep around 7, 7:30, 8:00, whatever … and then we have 45 minutes to an hour, maybe an hour and a half if we're lucky, before Lucy wakes up because she is all boob, all day, every day, exclusively breastfed.

So we'll watch something in that time. We just started watching The Rooster, which is hysterical. That's what we watched 17 minutes of yesterday. But we just finished something that was so good. And of course, I can't remember, but we were devastated when it was over. I mean, well, Bridgerton. Oh my God, me and my husband love Bridgerton together. Oh, Rivals! A new season comes out in November, and we are itching.

SM: Speaking of comfort shows, I’m still bummed about Not Dead Yet. I will forever beat this drum; I’m so mad about it. Would you be open to coming back if it got revived?

GR: Good. Keep beating it. I'm mad about it too. And definitely, 100%. That was so fun. It was such a loving set. That one was another family-forward set. We had a whole trailer for the babies ... All of us had babies. It was so, so delicious.

SM: OK, how about Will Trent.. any chance we’ll see Marion Alba again?

GR: No, I think it was a season. What's crazy is that when I was wrapping up that season, December/January of 2025, I turned to my husband. We were going to wrap, and I was like, ‘I want a baby.’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, I could see us having another baby.’ Boom, pregnant that same month. I was like, ‘We needed a second more to think about this … What just happened?’ So I'm being wary of that Will Trent set that got me pregnant so quickly. No, I'm kidding. But that was her experience. He's got to go on to other things.

SM: Fair enough. I’ll just keep campaigning for more Not Dead Yet. And happy birthday. I hope you get everything you want… including the 12-minute bath.

GR: Yes, I’m gonna need it.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.