This Dad Says We Need To “Leave The Door Open” More For Our Kids

If there’s one thing every parent deserves, it’s at least 30 minutes to themselves at some point during the day. And honestly, it’s not like we even need those 30 minutes for relaxing or disassociating or staring off into the abyss until we feel better — most of us just want to shut the laundry room door and fold some clothes already or sequester ourselves in the garage to get in a workout and not be interrupted.

But one dad on Instagram suggests leaving the door open — while we have our time to do things — might be the best deal when it comes to parenting.

(If you’re already like, OMG IF I LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN, EVERYONE WILL COME IN, same. But let’s hear him out.)

On his Instagram @coach_mdavis, Mitchell Davis (who holds a PhD in exercise science), Davis shared a video of him preparing to do a workout in the garage with the door leading into his home wide open. A few seconds in, his young son wanders into the room and asks, “Dad, are you going to still work out?” Davis answers yes and, presumably, his son stays in while he does the actual workout. A text overlay reads “Leave the damn door open” which is quite the command for an overstimulated, overtired parent to read, but his caption explains:

“When my son bursts in, he doesn’t come to train. He doesn’t care about reps, sets, or how much weight is on the bar. He comes because I am here. He comes because the noise of training tells him his dad is alive and moving, and he wants to share in that life. The invitation isn’t about lifting. It is about presence. It’s about knowing that he can step into my world at any time and be wholly welcomed, not turned away,” he writes.

Gut-punch.

Davis continues in the caption to explain how being a parent is all about sacrifice and about carving out that extremely limited time for yourself, but by always shutting ourselves off when we need to recharge, we might cut ourselves off to seeing some beautiful magic right there in front of us.

And honestly, while it sounds a lot like “your kids are only little once, never shut the door,” I get it. When I am doing something, whether it’s working or exercise or trying to find a little peace, I’ve noticed my children are way more invested in what I’m doing if I constantly have the door shut. To them, it seems to feel like a big secretive thing, and suddenly they want to be involved. I feel like it leads to more interruptions than if I just left the door open so they could see me.

Plus there’s the wonderful bonus of your kids getting to see you be you. Seeing you lift weights, watching you run on the treadmill, resting with you on the couch — maybe they’ll join in, maybe they’ll ask you a question that makes your heart swell with pride, maybe they’ll ask if they can be strong like you one day.

And maybe, they’ll realize this “open door” policy isn’t just a literal one — they’ll know that no matter what you’re doing, if they need you, you’re there for them.

“So I remind myself: Leave the door open. Not just literally, but figuratively. To interruptions. To laughter that breaks my concentration. To questions that seem silly and stories that ramble on. To the unplanned moments that carve themselves into memory,” Davis writes. He says he wants his kid to always remember that his dad’s door is always open — and that’s honestly just the sweetest gift.

It must be said — there’s nothing wrong with shutting the door and giving yourself some peace and stability and quiet. When you need to focus, when you need to decompress, when you’re running on fumes, yes — shut the door.

But if you feel like you need to shut the door otherwise you’ll be interrupted, maybe just leave it open and see what happens. So many of my own children’s interruptions have led me to have incredible conversations and moments with them, and honestly, I have never, ever thought “Ugh I wish I could’ve skipped over that and gotten a full rep done instead.”

Besides... they’re probably going to open the door anyway.