Headless Ursula Will Pretty Much Guarantee Kids Don’t Beg To Go Back To Disney

Malfunction on Ariel’s Undersea Adventure terrifies kids

When you take your kid to Disneyland, you have very clear expectations: you’re going to give them all your money, and they’re going to give you magic. So you can imagine how surprised some parents were when they took their kids on Ariel’s Undersea Adventure and that adventure included a decapitation.

Ariel’s Undersea Adventure is a five-minute ride that takes guests on seashell boats through the story of The Little Mermaid. It sounds delightful, happy, and perfect for small children. So you hop on, excited to experience a ride that is oddly, you think, described on the Disneyland website as “slow, dark” and “loud.” And boy, is it ever all those things. By the time you get to Ursula the evil sea witch, the light has faded, the music is scarier, and you’ve just passed hissing eels with glowing eyes. Your kids are definitely crying and probably trying to climb off the ride. So imagine if you got to that point and saw this:

Get back, Satan!

Somehow, the Ursula figure’s ding dang head came off. How bad is this? Well, let’s go through it. First, no head. Second, she’s still singing. Third, according to some who witnessed this, her face was still moving. Fourth, I’ll refer you back to the third point. Fifth, her head is dangling by wires/ligaments. Sixth, way to take me out of the story, Disney. And seventh, all of this is happening slowly, darkly, and loudly.

Twitter user @dizzymissy posted the video, which quickly gained notice.

According to @dizzymissy (who does not want to be named), the kids on her ride were not okay with what they saw. “Immediately after we got off we were ushered out along with everyone else, and the employees looked very concerned,” she told The Huffington Post. “Many people had seen Ursula decapitated, including kids who understandably were upset.”

And in the most unexpected sentence of the day: this wasn’t the only Disney character found beheaded last weekend. Apparently, the auctioneer in the Pirates of The Carribean ride also lost his noggin.

What the double heck, Disney? Clearly, there’s a serial killer on the loose. Let’s just hope they get to the bottom of this before Chip or Dale’s headless corpse comes toppling down from their treehouse or Winnie the Pooh gets stuck in Rabbit’s door and pulls back everything but his head. It’s all very Murder on the Orient Express, except our main suspects are the Queen of Hearts and that tribe of headhunters over on the Jungle Cruise.

In the meantime, you might want to take a fast pass on that Little Mermaid ride. (Do you see what I did there? I hope you did because I’ve been thinking about that joke this entire time.)