I Don’t Judge You For Your Choices, Why The Hell Are You Judging Me For Mine?

An open letter to the mom who so rudely snubbed my kid’s choice of soccer snack.

Written by Holly Garcia
Originally Published: 
Ariela Basson/Scary Mommy; Getty Images, Shutterstock

Recently, it was my 9 year old’s turn to bring snacks for soccer, and let me tell you, she was excited. All of the kids take turns, and they clearly see it as a big responsibility — their moment to shine in front of their peers.

I don't totally get it, but I get that she’s excited. You should have seen her, carefully perusing the snack aisle at the store. Going in, she knew it would be one of two favorites: either Gansitos, a strawberries-and-cream sponge cake dipped in chocolate, or Sponches, adorable pink and white marshmallows sitting atop something like a graham cracker. They’re both equally delightful (and seriously sweet). Ultimately, she went with the Gansitos, which are Mexican treat her abuelos introduced her to, and she was so excited to share the joy with her teammates.

Of course, there will be times when not everyone on the team agrees on the level of awesomeness of the treat, but that’s expected. Do you know what I didn’t expect? A snarky comment about my daughter’s choice coming from another parent.

Did the parent who mumbled about this trashy junk crap under their breath (and then threw the unopened food in the garbage) know that I totally hear her? Honestly, I kinda wish she’d said something right to my face, so I could respond.

I’m still both annoyed and rolling my eyes at the situation. And so, in that spirit, here’s a little letter of all the things I wish I could have said to that parent… and every other parent who needs to get a grip.

Dear Overzealous Soccer Mom,

Hey. It’s me. You know, the mom who looks perpetually exhausted and only wears a baseball cap because I couldn’t be bothered with my hair, not because I’m aiming for that “soccer mom” aesthetic.

Our kids play on the same volunteer-run soccer team that’s had a great season so far, but hasn’t really shown any World Cup-level talent. Which is fine! I only mention that because it seems like you’re super passionate about their games, which is also fine! Great, even. Except I’m not sure that you always remember these are 9-year-old kids, playing for fun.

Speaking of kids being kids, I noticed you weren’t a fan of the kid-friendly snack my family brought this weekend. I have to say, it was kind of shitty how you trashed (both figuratively and literally) the snack my kid picked out for the team. I mean, I hear you. In a perfect world, my child would have chosen freshly pressed green juice and kale chips. Instead, we spent 20 minutes wandering the aisle of the grocery store that houses all the sweet snack cakes.

Yes, it was a sweet treat with a side of Sunny-D, and I’m sure there are plenty of reasons why you didn’t want your child to consume it. Maybe they have dietary restrictions or allergies, or maybe sugar makes them super wild, and you’d rather not deal with that. I can respect that you’re not into that kind of food for your kid. But I can’t respect you snubbing that same food as “trashy junk crap” within my kid’s hearing distance.

First off, if she had heard you, it would have crushed her little soul, and then we’d really have a problem. But more importantly, you made it sound like the snack was bad, like food has some type of morality. Which, news flash, it doesn’t.

The underlying message of your comment is that food and drinks made with sugar are somehow bad. Please, don’t even get me started on the guilt and shame that so often gets wrapped up in that “bad” label.

It’s a fact that some foods are more nutritionally dense. Different ingredients fuel your body differently. We all know you can’t live on a diet of Pixie Stix. So why couldn’t you have said that instead of being judgey? Maybe you could have tried something more like–

Hey, kiddo, I know this looks good, but maybe we’ll save it for later.

It’s close to lunchtime. So, we’re eating a meal before diving into this treat.

Thanks, but no thanks (exit stage left).

At the end of the day, I don’t care if you rob your child of the joy that is a Gansito, but I do care that you’re making a snap judgment about a simple snack.

Maybe I will look up one day and see your kid on the U.S. Olympic team. But in the meantime, maybe let’s just let kids be kids and enjoy a single soccer snack (which I promise won’t derail their entire life trajectory).

But if you can’t find it in your Stanley cup-toting soul to let them enjoy a non-organic snack, next time, have the decency to save your comments for the privacy of your car, just like the rest of us.


The soccer mom who can finally let go of the angst of snack snubbing now that I’ve gotten it off my chest.

Holly Garcia writes about parenting, mental health, and all the lifestyle things. She hails from the Midwest, where she’s raising her daughters and drinking copious amounts of coffee.

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