Jill Kargman On Motherhood, Being Forty & Raising Kids in NYC

by Jill Smokler
Originally Published: 
Jill Kargman wearing a black dress at a red carpet event
Image via Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images

If you’ve seen the Bravo scripted comedy Odd Mom Out, you probably want Jill Kargman to be your mom BFF as much as we do. Not only is she the star of the show, she created it — and turned her own experiences dealing with the moms in her Upper East Side hood into hilarious entertainment for the rest of us.

This week, her book Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave: Observations, Rants, and Other Uplifting Thoughts About Life hits the shelves so we sat down with her to talk advice, the good parts of being in your forties, and using your kids as an excuse to get out of stuff.

Everyone needs a friend who’s painfully honest, if only to take the spotlight off their own parenting flaws for a bit.

Dementia, fragile bones, old lady teeth, holy shit… What are the good parts of being 40-ish?

Jill: You totally don’t give nearly as many fucks about what people think. You understand your mortality so you appreciate each day more. And you have a very strong sense of self and therefore navigate the world with a better instinctual compass.

What advice would you give someone expecting her third child?

Jill: Hunker down and splurge on help. I always wanted to do it myself and would’ve snapped if I hadn’t gotten someone to help me. Also it’s even more crazy, so make a real effort to carve out alone time with your spouse.

Work/family balance is bullshit, we know. Any tips for keeping both moderately afloat at once?

Jill: Weekends once or twice a year as a couple to remind you what it was like pre-stork (dinner isn’t enough!) and maybe trying some little notes or surprise gifts, thoughtful gestures for no reason.

What was your last “scary mommy moment”?

Jill: Uh…five minutes ago? I blew a lung chunk screaming at my kids to stop bickering.

When was the last time you used your kid as an excuse to get out of something you didn’t want to do?

Jill: Oh last night. That’s one other bonus about being in my 40s. I never go anywhere I don’t want to go. I just say I’m home with the kids as I’m out another night and need to be home.

Have you ever been the couple who gets dumped?

Jill: Totally. We have had a couple of instances where we were shafted from a party or something because I was too outspoken against right-wingers or whatever, and they decide they don’t want to have us the next year — which is usually perfect because in the car on the way home I was bitching that it was a mistake to go.

What’s the least amount of sleep you can still function on?

Jill: Eight hours.

What’s the worst thing about raising kids in New York City? What’s the best?

The worst is the excess — kids who talk about flying private, second or third homes, conspicuous consumption, lucite slabs as bar mitzvah invitations, tacky displays of wealth.

The best is that if you use NYC as a third parent and really travel to all five boroughs, exploring different galleries, cuisines from around the globe, theater, etc., your kids will be so worldly and inspired.

Lice or stomach bug – which would you rather deal with?

Jill: Lice. It sucks, but barf and ‘rhea suck harder and are painful.

How do you respond when your kids tell you they hate you?

Jill: I ignore it and then later when they say I love you, I say, “Oh, I thought you said you hated me?” And they apologize and hug me.

Click below to buy Jill’s book, and really, if you aren’t already watching Odd Mom Out, start!

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