From The Confessional: Help! I’m Bad At Making Mom Friends

by Cassandra Stone
A milk bottle on a wooden floor with some of the content spilled and the 'From the confessional' log...

Why is making friends as an adult so hard? Especially once you have kids?

There’s something no one tells you about having kids (well, a lot of things) and it’s that having children, for whatever myriad reasons, completely strips you of any and all social skills you once had prior to parenthood. And parenthood is so isolating in general, you need people to support you more than ever.

And yet, making friends is soooo f*cking hard when you’re a parent. SO. HARD. Everyone is busy. Everyone is exhausted. And, oh yeah, there’s a goddamn pandemic still raging all around us and most of our kids are still vulnerable to the virus.

So if you’re feeling like you don’t know where to start in making fellow mom friends, and you’re feeling super lonely because of it—you’re actually not alone at all.

I love my gay guy best friend but he doesn’t get marriage and he certainly doesn’t get kids - I wish I had made some girl or mom friendships over the years - I really tried - I’m very isolated and lonely

Confessional #25851552

I'm sorry. I'd like to have more mom friends as but I'm less then 2 weeks away from another csection and I'm having trouble keeping up with my DD and life.

Confessional #25845297

I have no mom friends, but am working to connect more. I just had the 3rd person get weird on me and drop off. I swear I’m not a weirdo. I know they prob have a lot going on & it’s likely not personal, but it kind of hurts the feels! I’m trying so hard :(

Confessional #25834434

I have no mom friends in the town where I live. I feel like it would be easier to make friends with the nannies.

Confessional #25833964

It gets easier to make mom friends once you have school-age kids (preschool counts). But prior to that, when you need a lifeboat more than ever, it feels impossible to find that kinship with other moms. Because it takes some serious effort to get dressed, get out of the house, put yourself out there, etc. It’s so hard to find the time to do any of that (even when we want to), extroverts and introverts alike struggle.

One of my close mom friends has zero sense of humor. Her personality actually makes me sad.

Confessional #25832505

I don't understand the point of mom friends.

Confessional #25827101

Well, that’s one way to put it. LOL.

I wonder what it feels like to have a group of mom friends.

Confessional #25825917

I wish it was easier to make mom friends who actually wanted to talk about things besides Old Navy supercash and the deals they're getting on kids stuff. Maybe I'm less interesting than I think but I sure as hell have more to talk about that that!

Confessional #25821897

Listen, we are whole-ass people outside of motherhood with whole-ass interests and defined characteristics. We don’t need to ONLY talk about kid stuff!

NEVER will I try to make mom friends again! Judgmental bitches! I'm not good enough to be part of your circle, then I'll burn you in mine! WTAF is wrong with you? Lost faith in ever finding another friend in my life :(

Confessional #25816801

I'm totally vaccinated now, and starting to realize that as the pandemic ends (which of course I want), covid excuse dissipates, it's going to hurt all over again when I realize I just can't seem to make mom friends. No one wants me and DS in their pod

Confessional #25816709

Feel like the only mom who doesn’t have “mom friends. My son his 3 and I take him to playgroups but have yet to actually befriend other moms. Makes me feel like a reject.”

Confessional #25814437

I suspect new mom friends are trying to rope me into their MLM. FML. Must everyone have an ulterior motive?

Confessional #25812724

UGHHH moms who lure you in under the pretense of friendship just so they can “hey hon” you over a pyramid scheme are THE WORST.

I know my mom friends are just as lonely as I am, but we're all too damn busy to make time for ourselves and actually hangout.

Confessional #25796663

I miss having mom friends. You know the kind where we all meet up and bitch about our dhs over a glass of wine and we laugh so hard that all our "problems" just seem to have gone away. They kept me sane. Dh new job made us relocate.

Confessional #25793800

Every year I feel sorry for myself on my birthday. I wish I had a crew of mom friends or any local friends for that matter. People don't understand that many of us Asperger-type people really do want this.

Confessional #25779483

I hate that my text messages are ignored by my mom friends and sister in-laws and they respond to everyone else is the group chat. It makes me feel even more ignored than I already do staying at home. I feel invisible.

Confessional #25767748

Making friends is hard, period. Especially if it doesn’t come naturally to you, and especially in this pandemic era we’re basically doomed to be living in for all eternity.

If you struggle being social or finding the right “fit” with mom friends: solidarity.