My Son Is Being Bullied, And I Will Not Allow Him To Be A Statistic

by Jaime Ciarlello
Originally Published: 
A portrait of a boy crying because he is being bullies in black and white
Kat Jayne/Pexels

Trigger warning: suicide, bullying

A local girl died last week from suicide. She was 16. Allegedly, she was the victim of bullying.

When I read about this girl, my heart broke into a million pieces. All I could think of was her mother. She told her mom that she was going for a walk, but she never came home. They found her hanging in a local park. I have so many thoughts, but the one that stays with me the most is how hurt this girl must have been to end her life. Was she getting help? Was her family aware? Did she have a support system? Could anything have been done differently?

I can’t imagine what this mom is going through. Losing a child is unthinkable, and knowing that this loss of life is a result of a child being mistreated and made fun of is just unfathomable and disgusting. Bullying is a sensitive topic in our house, due to the fact that my 4th grader has had issues with bullying. It has been quiet on that front lately, until last night.

A note was left for my son at our front door, with a knock.

Dear D,

hello I see we meet again. no offense but your annoying. learn how to get more friends like boys not girls. Stop acting like a girl. learn how to sing better. stop talking to girls.

were coming after you

from ……

He found it, read it and put it on the counter in the kitchen. I wish he hadn’t.

When I walked in to get a snack, he handed me the piece of paper. I stood there, read it through tears, and was in shock. The neighborhood girls that he plays with (and actually spent the entire day hanging out with the day before) felt the need to write this nasty note to my son, who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. These girls decided that they would think of the rudest digs and write them down, knowing that my sweet, kind 9-year-old would read it. Did they want him to feel a certain way from what they wrote? What is the outcome that they wanted to happen? What was their end game? Do these girls feel THAT strongly that my son needs more friends who are boys? I am quite confused because they were at my house on Saturday eating snacks, and seemed to be having a fantastic time with my “girly” son.

Cassidy Kelley/Unsplash

He cried a little that night, and his sadness pretty much caused me to have an emotional meltdown. I hugged him and he said, “I should have known better.” OH. MY. GOD.

NO. NO. At that very point, my anger kicked in and I have been a mess ever since. There is not an instruction manual for how to deal with bullies, so my husband and I are going all-in and not stopping until this ends. He does not deserve this. No kid deserves to be picked on and made fun of for being who they are. It is 2019. We have to do better.

This may be affecting me more than him. My anxiety is causing physical symptoms. I’m sick. While my son might not be showing his emotions, who knows how this act will impact him as he grows up.

Moral of the story: Please teach your kids kindness. Please ask your kids not to write mean notes and letters to other kids. All kids are different. Talk about bullying with yours. Because my son will not be a statistic.

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