I'm A Mom — And A Witch

As an adult woman, I wear lots of hats; wife, friend, mother. But one of the hats I wear is just for me, and I treasure its role in aiding my parenting. I’m a witch, and although it isn’t necessarily the most drama-free of playground conversations, it’s my secret weapon to showing up in my life as a calmer, happier mom.

Parenting is hard — we know this much. The kind of hard that fucks with your mind, leaving you crying for a moment’s peace one minute, then wanting to be smooshed up right next to your littles the next. Although it’s wonderful to imagine a world where parents could take the time to take care of their own needs so they’d be adequately refreshed to tackle the duties of parenthood, the truth is that many of us reside in this wildly depleted fugue state at the intersection of crippling responsibility and a total lack of time. While we can’t always have all the time that we need to get our self-care on point, I’ve found that being a witchy mom helps me to fit in some mindfulness in the chaos of modern-day momming.

For the most part, what TV and the movies show us about witches is incredibly misleading. In reality, witches are those who use intention, ritual, and a focus of will towards shaping their reality and experience of life. Making a definitive statement about what a witch is is next to impossible, as it is a deeply personal practice, worldview, and approach to life. However, at the root of most witches’ practice is a dedication to personal growth, healing, and cultivating a deep respect for your place in the larger natural world.

As a witch, my practice includes things like meditation, mindfulness, intention setting and cultivating a gratitude mindset. These have been instrumental in shifting my mindset to a place that is more capable of handling the stressors that life and parenting are constantly chucking at me. And it should come as no surprise, really. Science tells us that these practices aren’t just good for bragging about in the Whole Foods lineup. Studies have shown that meditation can reduce our levels of psychological stress, which in turn helps to minimize the harms from the physiological stress response that occurs in the body. Thinking positively and adopting a gratitude mindset have similar health benefits for our bodies and minds, making us happier, healthier people in general.

Now for the provocative topic of spells. As a witchy mom, I have used spellwork for everything from trying to muster up strength to get through the day with my wildlings, to manifesting a relocation for my family. Look, I’m not saying that you can light a candle and snap your fingers and shit will just … happen. But what you can do is focus your will on your desires in a way that makes them feel more attainable, even if you are simply hacking your own psychology. Through the use of symbol, ritual, and introspective shadow work, it’s possible to empower yourself to feel more capable of handling life’s tricky BS. And at the end of the day, I’ll take any help I can get to become calmer, less reactive, and more confident in my own decisions. Being a witch allows me to co-create my own life, rather than feeling as if life is simply happening TO me.

The reality is that the hectic nature of parenting is an unstoppable train. It’s simultaneously moving at a breakneck speed and packed with moments that seem to drag on forever. We can’t just pull extra time out of thin air, so we’re left with the option of making do with the time we do have. When I stir an intention in my tea in the morning, what I’m really doing is hyping myself up for the day ahead — “you are strong, you are capable, you’ve got this.” When I do bath rituals and mirror work, I’m creating magic in the mundane — turning a simple task I need to find time for into something more. When I meditate, visualize the life I want to lead, and practice counting my blessings, I’m taking small moments of life and transmuting them into wellness. This is the true alchemy of everyday witchery.

Yes, I am a mother, and yes, I am a witch. What this combination has given me is my power back. Although I still feel overwhelmed with all the time I don’t have, you can bet your butt I’m spending the moments I do have taking care of myself and feeling like an active agent in creating my own life. And in doing this, I’m grateful to be able to show up as a calmer, more fulfilled parent.