Yes, My Kids Know I Work At A Dispensary

In New York, where I live, cannabis is now as easy to find as a latte. Dispensaries line the streets like coffee shops. For many moms I know, myself included, it’s become a valuable tool for managing anxiety, chronic pain, insomnia, and the mental load of parenting. And yeah, recreationally, it’s great, too. But when it comes to talking to our kids about it, the conversation often feels fraught with uncertainty and discomfort.

Although I’ve become more open about my cannabis use over the years, starting a part-time job at a neighborhood dispensary pushed me to become more intentional. I realized I’d need to explain my job to my children and be ready for their questions. Many of our customers are parents wrestling with the same concerns: As cannabis becomes more visible and accepted, how do we talk to our kids about our own use? How do we balance honesty with boundaries, without resorting to secrecy or oversharing?

My older children — ages 12 and 10 — know where I work, but I haven’t yet had a deeper conversation with them about it. I’ve explained that I help educate people about and sell products made from the cannabis plant, and that these products are intended for adults only. Wanting to be prepared for future questions, especially from my youngest, who is almost 4, I reached out to a few experts to get their perspective.

Kristi Palmer, co-founder and president of Kiva Confections, takes a straightforward approach with her own kids, much like many parents do with alcohol. She stores cannabis “high up in a locked container” and teaches her kids — ages 5, 3, and 1 — to recognize the packaging and warning labels. She even reads the regulatory language in a “technical, boring way that they don’t want to listen to,” which helps eliminate curiosity.

She also uses humor and basic science with her kids: “Your brain is still growing and becoming smarter every day, and we don’t want to slow that down!” The goal, she says, is “just enough information to satisfy their questions without piquing unnecessary interest.”

Indeed, children interpret adult cannabis use differently depending on their developmental stage, according to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. “Toddlers might notice changes in smell, behavior, or routine, but they don’t have the cognitive tools to make sense of what’s happening. It registers as a sensory experience, not a moral or health issue.”

Kids in elementary school, for instance, are more inquisitive and influenced by their peers and the media, and may feel uneasy if what they observe contradicts what they’ve learned about health or safety. Here, you can use neutral comparisons, like cannabis being “just for grown-ups,” similar to coffee or certain medicines. Elementary-age children can understand that some things are legal for adults but not safe for kids, especially when the message centers on health and responsibility, rather than punishment or shame.

Preteens, more aware of social dynamics and pop culture, begin questioning adult choices — and benefit most from consistency, honesty, and open dialogue. With preteens, Hafeez advises framing discussions around values and critical thinking: “Being honest doesn’t mean oversharing.” She adds, “Just because something is legal doesn’t always mean it’s healthy or right,” and reminds parents to say, “Every family has its own rules.”

As kids get older, Palmer stresses the importance of discussing product safety and the risks associated with unregulated sources, which “can contain synthetic ingredients, and who knows what else.” Teens are curious, she says. “Young adults want to experiment; they are teens!” But parents can help by explaining why state-regulated cannabis is safer and why responsibility matters. “Kids are smart,” she adds, “so honor their intelligence by being truthful and matter-of-fact.”

Palmer models responsible use just as one would with alcohol or screen time. “I eat a gummy in front of my kids,” she explains. “They ask, ‘Are those the ones for only adults?’ ‘Yes, they are. Let me grab you a gummy that’s for kids. Here you go.’” That openness helps remove stigma and normalize cannabis as a tool — not a taboo. A philosophy that centers on calm, everyday language paired with clear, loving boundaries should be the goal. “My job is to keep you safe,” she says to her kids, “and that means making sure you know that these products aren’t for you right now.”

To that end, Hafeez warns that being too vague about cannabis can lead kids to “fill in the gaps with misinformation” or believe the topic is off-limits. On the other hand, being overly rigid or moralistic can make them tune out or feel unsafe bringing up their own questions. “Parents should also be mindful of their language and attitude — treating cannabis casually or joking about it can send the message that it’s harmless,” she notes. Demonstrating care and responsibility helps children learn to treat these topics with the same seriousness.

Part of that care and responsibility also means being open, to an appropriate point, about the reasons why you use cannabis. I’ve discussed my prescription medications with my kids before, explaining how some help me manage anxiety and my ADHD, and framing it as a tool in my larger toolbox of things I can access to manage my health — things like eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and going to therapy.

Palmer suggests keeping the language simple and personal. “I might say something like, ‘I’m using cannabis right now because it really helps with my headaches. I’m so thankful because when I feel good, I can go to all your soccer games AND I can cheer super loud for you,'" she suggests, continuing, “'When I feel overwhelmed, one cannabis gummy helps turn off the alarm bells I hear in my head. It’s like things become quiet again, and then I can hear and listen to what YOU have to tell me and be there for you.'"

“I truly believe cannabis use can help people lead better lives,” says Palmer, but she acknowledges the lingering stigma: “Our culture has been deeply influenced by negative rhetoric around cannabis and its consumers for decades.” By modeling responsible use, answering questions honestly, and creating space for open dialogue, parents can help shift that narrative.

Cannabis use, seen this way, becomes less a secret vice and more a tool of care, autonomy, and balance. I hope my own experience encourages other parents to talk about it — with love, honesty, and care. Yeah, I’m still a weed mom. But now, I’m learning how to talk about it, too.

Molly Wadzeck is a freelance writer and mother of three. Born and raised in Waco, Texas, she moved to the Finger Lakes region of New York, where she worked in animal rescue and welfare for many years. She writes essays and poems about feminism, mental health, parenting, pop culture, and politics. She is usually late because she stopped to pet a dog. She tweets at @mollywadzeck.