To The Parents Who Make Me Feel Better About My Own Parenting

If you ever want to feel better about your parenting, chaperone a field trip. I recently chaperoned my kid’s second-grade class on their field trip to the theater, and it was an enlightening experience to say the least. I discovered there are many parents who are perfectly content to send their kids on a school field trip with unbuttoned shirts, ill-fitting pants, untied shoes, stinky breath, tangled hair, and boogers crusted all over their face. And it’s not even a regular school day – it’s a field trip! And it’s the theater!!!

Perhaps these parents already know what many of the rest of us have yet to learn: Kids are gross, and there’s no use in fighting it. But regardless of the reasons their kids are gross, I want to thank these parents, because they made me feel so much better about my often less-than-stellar efforts at parenting.

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And so I say thank you:

To the parents of the kid who had about two days’ worth of snot crusted on his face: My first thought was, did his mother even look at him this morning? But that gross kid made me think to look at my own kid’s face, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t also have boogers crusted around the edge of his nostrils. I know I told him to eat his breakfast and brush his teeth, but you know… I’m not really sure if I ever actually looked directly at him this morning…

To the parents of the adorable kid who sat right next to me on the bus and told me the riveting and oh-so-recent tale of how her mother spent ‘practically all day’ combing lice and their eggs from her hair: Firstly, you’ve never seen me slick my hair back in a ponytail so fast. But secondly: thank you. I feel so much less trashy about the six times I had lice as a kid, plus I’m slightly less mortified thinking of the inevitable God-only-knows how many times my kids will contract that repugnant parasite during the next fifteen years. Annnd now my head itches.

To the parents of the kid who told me all about his new motor home, his new four-wheeler, his new computer, his new house that has a ‘really big’ pool with a slide… and about how his uncle is living in his ‘old’ house, you know, ‘the one the bank took away’: I’m feeling a lot better about that short-sale we did seven years ago. So when can we set up a play date with our kids so my family can play with your family’s toys?

To the parents of the kid whose lunch is packed with a pre-packaged PB&J, super-long fruit roll-up thingy, chocolate rice crispy treat, cheez-its, and chocolate milk: You’re making me feel pretty good about myself for not feeding my kid absolute crap. Really. I don’t know what else to say to you. I admit I’m feeling a little judgy on this one. Although, to be fair, maybe your kid doesn’t gnaw on the dog’s tail or scrape the paint off the walls when you feed him sugary chemical-laden junk, like my kid does.

To the parents of the kid who ran ahead of the group and was momentarily lost, lagged behind the group and was momentarily lost, hid from the group and was momentarily lost, and tried to head-butt everyone in the group and everyone wished he were lost: Oh, wait… that was my kid. Nevermind.

To the parents of the kid who needed water like, every 10 seconds, and kept nagging me to hold his hat and/or his jacket: Thanks for making me feel justified in making my kid wait for stuff and doing things on my schedule rather than caving in to his every little whimper and whine. I feel so much better for forcing him to be independent. Except for when it comes to tying his shoes. He just learned to do that like two weeks ago. (It’s not my fault the Velcro shoes are always on sale!)

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To the parents of the kid who bragged loudly on the bus ride home that her breath stunk, and when one of the other children asked if she brushed her teeth this morning, not only did she say ‘no,’ but she pulled her lips back and opened her mouth really wide like in that toothbrush commercial with the flip-top head so that we could see her FIVE silver crowns: Thanks for inspiring me to put both my kids in headlocks tonight and brush their teeth twice. Seriously dude, that shit looked hella expensive. I think I’d rather have lice.

To all of these parents: Each one of you in your own way made me feel so much better about my parenting. Thank you so much for making me feel, if only for one day, that I am not totally shitting all over this astonishingly sticky job we call parenting.

Or at least that I’m not the only one.

Related post: 7 Secrets of Motherhood

About the writer

When Kristen Mae isn’t running absurdly long distances, washing poop out of her dog’s butt-hair, or taming her two booger-machines, she’s tossing her expensive master’s of music performance degree out the window by feverishly attacking her “writing career.” Kristen is the voice of Abandoning Pretense, where she tells the whole, uncensored truth about marriage, parenthood, and life. In addition to her blog, Mae shares hilarious and heart-warming tidbits of her life on her Facebook page, Google+, Twitter and Pinterest, and read her words at and, where she is on the editorial board.

From Around the Web


autw 5 months ago


autw 5 months ago

Lice can be helped. Not once did I have it as a child. She wasn’t making fun of the kid with the new motorhome, pool with a slide, and a new 4 wheeler, she might’ve been throwing a little shade at the parents bc they were living above their means. Who else would have a foreclosure, then get all new stuff?

autw 5 months ago

*Judgements …just sayin’

Seriously, you didn’t get the article. Every time she saw something bad/wrong/whatever with one of the other kids, it reminded her of herself and her kid. Not a bad article at all.

elyse 10 months ago

Wow and here, i thought we were getting away from mom bashing. My son eats “crap,” sometimes and a judgy snob like you won’t make me feel bad about it. THANK YOU for writing this article and making me feel like a better parent because I know for sure I’m not raising my kid to judge and pick others apart.

Amanda 10 months ago

I’m guilty of the prepackaged PB&J, but I sent applesauce and juice with it.

CQ 10 months ago

Could have been my kid….he climbs EVERYTHING whenever we are out in public. I sound like a broken record: “please get down”, “we don’t climb that”, “someone that works here is going to get upset”, “we don’t jump off of walls”…. until nice patient mommy finally turns into not-so-nice patient mommy. What can I say, he’s an active boy. I guess things could be worse. He could be disrespectful to adults and/or obnoxious. :)

PAMALAURIEL 10 months ago

LOL! Yep, that would be my kid with the crappy lunch! He will ONLY eat mayo sandwhiches. He has allergies, and his nose is always running! He is the one who ALWAYS gets lost or climbing something he should’nt! BUT, he is healthy and happy! We do the the best we can ,and have to laugh at the rest! ( He is mildly Autistic, and SPD) Loved the article by the way!

Allison 10 months ago

I’m that parent that picks up and drops off in pajamas and slippers. Why? Because I’m a single mother that works 50+ hours a week so the rare occasion it’s actually me picking up my children I’m not throwing on regular clothes to drive a mile to pick up my kids. I want to be as lazy as I possibly can be on my single day off during the week. So while you stand there being judgy from your perfect 2 parent, stay at home mom bubble, remember there are other parents who don’t have that same luxury and just want to be comfortable.

Karen 10 months ago

Coming from a mom who also works in after school care for a living?
I’ve seen it all. And even though your child’s hair is a hot mess and their clothes are stained by the time I see them…I figure your kid dropped some lunch on themselves at school, or got really sandbox happy, and I can also see the once-done-hair-do you did 6 hours ago that is unfortunately no longer. I get it. It’s all good.

Jessica 10 months ago

Things tend to catch fire when I use the iron, so my husband never asks me to do it anymore.

J 10 months ago

To the parent who has such low self esteem that they feel the need to write an article bashing gross 2nd graders, I say thank you for making *me* feel like a bigger human being. I see the hypocrisy and I fail to care, I am judging a grown up tight woman. My kids are perfectly washed, cleaned and well fed, but I will be damned if I am going to be a bitch about other peoples kids, you never know their story.

Linda 10 months ago

What’s that?

Old Lady in the Shoe 1 year ago

ILOOOVE this! I have 7 children age 20-1. AND I homeschool! The good news is I have faking sanity down, so, I have that going for me. When people ask me how “we” are, my reply is something like, “We’re all still alive!” , or, “No one’s dead or in jail! (Currently anyway). That’s the best I can do right now!” I’m still in a fog from the last batch of pregnancies. Look, when you have more than 3 kids, you have to LOWER your standards! Alive is alive. Reasonably happy trumps clean any day. As home schoolers, I’m on EVERY field trip. We showed up with a2 yr old w/no shoes once! I have an 11 yr old who wears the SAME 1 or 2 stained shirts and shorts EVERY day even to co-op. But they ALL get a bath at least once a week, whether they need it or not! I also have a 7 yr old who would have every label from A-Z and be on at least 6 kinds of medication if he were in “real school”. He has been obsessively talking about plants vs. Zombies for at least 45 minutes now, despite the fact that I’ve only given him a few uh huhs and an occasional nod. I know sometimes my kids look (and act) like they’re a band of hobo gypsies, but that is why I LOVE being around everyone else’s kid! Every few minutes I have the opportunity to say, “I’m so glad someone else’s kid does that too! AhHah! It’s not just me/my kids!” Makes the sanity faking that much easier! Thanks guys!

Justin Bradley 1 year ago

The author ought to feel ashamed for writing this. Chances are the kid doesn’t have a parent at home at all to button their shirt or wipe their nose. And the reason a kid begs for your constant attention is because he doesn’t get it anywhere else. Volunteer with the foster system and see how wide your eyes open. Most kids would give anything for a chance to fit in as well as her kids

Jackie Madden Boechler 1 year ago

Really? Comments below? I’m offended by you being offended and I’m going to hijack the crap outta this post to explain my findings, theories and results. THIS WAS HILARIOUS! I go on field trips – NEVER judge – you don’t want to but sometimes you wonder – trust me. Lighten up!

MaryEllen Morey Giblin 1 year ago

Honey – it was just a little field trip! Think about the teachers who sit with this 5X/week. :-)

AnnaC. 1 year ago

Loved this story! Made my day! Thank you so much. Kristen Mae, ignore the haters. They just didn’t get it. Keep doing what your doing! :)

Takitha Zito 1 year ago

Btw, we’ve all had our share of hardships. It’s a commonality among mothers that was the missed point of this read, to the ones who got offended.

Takitha Zito 1 year ago

Well, because someone is always going to get butt-hurt. You can’t please everyone, nor should you (or the author) try.

Jenni Gilbert Russo 1 year ago

To the parents of the kid who ran ahead of the group and was momentarily lost, lagged behind the group and was momentarily lost, hid from the group and was momentarily lost, and tried to head-butt everyone in the group and everyone wished he were lost: Oh, wait… that was my kid. Nevermind. – Hahahaha! And mine

jess 1 year ago

So here’s my take. Every single mom out there has a good helping of self doubt once in a while. You feel guilty for giving your kid a pop tart for breakfast. You know she wore those jeans TWO times last week and they have yet to be washed and she’s weaing them again today. You forgot to finish her math homework with her. It happensto the best of us, and somewhere in your mind, you presume that every other kid at school had an organic, well balanced breakfast and is fitted with gleaming white shirts and crisp, smelly-good jeans.
I think what AP is getting at is that everyone’s just doin’ the best they can. Not every mom is on her A-game all day every day and its reassuring to know first hand that you are not, in fact, the worst mom on the face of the playground. Kids are kids and they can be gross, they can be hyper, they can be picky eaters, regardless of how you parent them, and their outward appearances aren’t always a reflection of that.
I didn’t find this to be a mom-shaming, my-kids-are-better-than-yours article in the least.
I found it to be a “tomorrow’s another day, try again, and know that we’re all human” article. A well written one at that!

Takitha Zito 1 year ago

Some of you people should remove whatever is lodged in the back hemisphere of your panties. The story was meant to make us all feel better, and as if we aren’t alone, because we all screw up everyday. Whether it be one, or multiple points, I’ve been there. She wasn’t
being judgmental, she was making it funny. I sent three kids to summer day camp today. Two had their hair brushed. Their lunches were sandwiches made on hotdog buns and a Ziploc with cereal. I bet when they get home, there will be a total of five socks between the three of them.

Please try to retrieve said foreign object from thine anus.

Katy Oliver 1 year ago

This comment thread is a good, thought provoking read; while I appreciate what I *think* the writer of the piece was going for (self deprecation?humor?snarky “amirite?!”wittiness?) I agree with many here already: it sucks that she targeted kids, possibly disenfranchised parents, and made the jokey justification through mean spirited (if fleeting and/or accurate for some) judgements. It’s just an unoriginal and unfunny piece.

Janice Mattson McKearney 1 year ago

Not funny at all. I get humor about being a frazzled parent now and then and having your child do something or look somewhat less than perfect. I’m as sarcastic as they come and can joke about the light-hearted stuff. Unfortunately there are parents out there going through real hardships of life and it could be that it’s all they can do to get their child out the door fed and alive. To some going through awful illnesses, loss of income, depression, abuse, working 2 jobs, etc. it’s pouring salt in the wound to point out that you noticed their child was dirty on the field trip….or making fun of the fact that their house was foreclosed on. Even if you point out your own short sale, etc. These could be devastating times for others and pointing out their flaws pushes them down instead of lifts them up. A drastic example is….you wouldn’t go to Haiti, find a tent city and a single mom raising her children under a leaky tarp, sleeping in the mud and say ‘ha ha your kids are dirty ha ha ha but that’s ok, makes me feel better because my child went to school dirty too.’ People that are offended by this are for a reason and I don’t think it should be dismissed with a classless ‘butt hurt’ comment. We should be supporting each other so please consider why some people feel offended. All that aside, I also know you meant it to be funny but the first paragraph set the tone for how the rest was read. ….unbuttoned shirt on a field trip….to the theeAter no less….please, these innocent kids looked up to you as a helper and role model and their parents at wits end with whatever they have going on had to send them off to be judged by you. Whether you used humor to retell the story or not, you did judge them.

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Of course not – The point is that NONE of us are perfect! Let’s just do the best we can and laugh at ourselves! =)

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago


srsly 1 year ago

It’s all abt the mommy wars with this article. I’m not a perfect parent or a perfect person but I have enuf confidence in myself and my ability to raise a right thinking person than to compare and compete with other parents. I’m not raising your kid and you’re not raising mine. This community is all about support for parents who care enough about their child to do what ot takes to get them through each day. You are not in support of that at all. Stop fueling the fire and maybe write an article about how we should stop this sort of judgement.

Not Impressed 1 year ago

Kids noses get runny…get over it! Kids have a mind of their own…get over it! Kids have bad days…get over it! Kids have bad judgement…get over it! Some parents aren’t into the whole “helicopter” thing…get over it! What you experienced and witnessed in one day does not give you the right to pass judgement on anyone’s parenting capabilities. The fact that you are thankful for any snapshot of bad parenting means you probably need more confidence than a usual parent does in your own capabilities. Terrible article.

Sarah Walsh 1 year ago

That’s why this article made me laugh so hard. I’m always so much harder in myself than anyone else. :)

Sarah Walsh 1 year ago

My kid is amazing and special and wonderful. He hates having his hair brushed and I have to chase him down. Until the last month I had to literally hold him down, kicking and screaming to brush his teeth. When I see another kid with messy hair or mismatched clothes or a dirty face, I always see another amazing kid whose mom or dad hasn’t caught up to them yet, I don’t ever see anything wrong with the kid. Sometimes when I notice these things on my kid, I feel like I’m falling him as a parent. It’s nice to remember not to judge myself as lacking, since I don’t judge the other parents when I see these things on their kids, just myself.

Sarah Sanchez 1 year ago

Started decent – looking at her own kids face after looking at the crusties in one child and seeing the same thing. If only there had been more of that

Alison Jones Turak 1 year ago

So bashing other parents makes you feel better about yourself..awesome.

Kelsey P 1 year ago

I don’t think this article is meant to shame the other moms! I took it as hey if all the other moms struggle with this stuff too I am doing alright as a parent.

C’dar Pinder-Sommerville 1 year ago

Im so glad I’m not the only mom that does that!! Its just that some days we are running late or I literally forget to brush her hair lol!!

Catherine Ardis Trouteaud 1 year ago

Wow. Not a fan of this post. I usually like this page, but this was super judgmental. I thought it may be from the title, but wanted to read to make sure.

Shame on you & this writer.

I am a parent of 5 (3 adopted) and a teacher of 150+ kids a year…. This I know to be true: we all have our own struggles & demons. We don’t need to be judged.

2 of my children were adopted out of foster care, it’s all I can do to try & undo years of neglect & abuse – it’s been 7 years, and it’s crap like this that let’s me know I’m still being judged by outsiders – not on the improvements & successes of my kids, but on their fumbles. You have no idea what the kid or parent has been through/is going through.

How about this: get off your high horse, wipe that kid’s crusty nose, explain the reasons why patience is a virtue & make the time to be part of the village it takes to raise a child.

Mandie Aus Frazier 1 year ago

OMG a pre packaged PB&J, the horror!! Get off your high horse, lady. My kid’s shoes are untied ten seconds after I drop him off at school and my other kid undoes the ponytail I spent 5 minutes combing neatly with one tug at her hair band. Whatever. The energy you spent judging when you could’ve just been enjoying an outing with your kid and his/her friends is more than a little sad.

Tiffany Davis 1 year ago

It’s sad that the writer has to make herself feel better at the expense of children, other people’s misfortune and poor choices. *dislike*
Hope I never become that shallow.

Jessi Allegre 1 year ago

Do what you feel is right in your heart..for you will be judged regardless. I believe that’s an Ellen Roosevelt quote.

Now…let’s all clean something so we can be rewarded with wine later ;-)…or if you already cleaned, let’s wine now.

Sarah Lowery 1 year ago

Just what I needed today! Thanks!

Christina Gmama 1 year ago

Sooooo happy to say that neither I, nor my husband had lice as children. And no, we were not homeschooled.

Jason Katherine Songer 1 year ago

love it, especially being a mom and a school bus driver lol!

Heaven Price 1 year ago

People should take care of their children but you don’t know the issues the family is going through. Don’t be so quick to judge. It is however unacceptable to send your child to school with poor hygiene. Children get lice and they will get it many times being in close proximity to other children in school. It can’t be helped the best thing you can do is treat it and hope they don’t catch it again for a while. Some family’s can’t afford the best lunch, clothes, and housing. There is nothing wrong with living in a trailer. The child is safe with a roof over their heads! You may feel better about yourself but keep it to yourself. Some parents really try and do the best they can for their kids you shouldn’t shit all over that.

hfjdshfuj 1 year ago

your a shit parent and for a language you say you cant speak you do it better then most americans

hfjdshfuj 1 year ago

lol goof, why not comment on my comment to you tomorrow while your husband works and you sit at home and do nothing

hfjdshfuj 1 year ago

fawk is it hard to look at this, american trash i bet that wrote this….( yes if you are american you are garbage to the rest of the world)

hfjdshfuj 1 year ago

blah blah blah blah blah, this is trying to be nice to such disrespectful ignorance, and if you dont understand what im saying then point proven. stfu period

Ellie McDonald 1 year ago

Haha aww your so sweet! Thank you Sayonna Lopez that article made me laugh, can’t deny that sometimes on my days when my patience is being tested running into another mom who is a lose cannon does lift me up abit for keeping it together just Alittle more than others but still stinks for the kids… Thanks for sharing this!

Christy Adam Moskovitz 1 year ago

Ha! Well, I guess now I know what the mommy chaperones think of me when I shove my kid out the door in the valet line, secretly hoping there’s a mom there that’s lucky enough to have time on a weekday to keep an eye on him during the field trip, since I can’t be there myself. While I’m at work, thinking, “I hope he has fun,” you are with him, checking out his unkempt hair. But hey, at least I’m making you feel better about yourself?

Margo Caraway 1 year ago

Sooooo, I’m pretty sure I just had some LBL (light bladder leakage) from laughing So Hard!!! I must share the unarguable wisdom that I pulled outta my butt the other day while arguing with my six year old daughter… We were in the circle of “whys”… I simply told her, “because I’m a grown-up and you’re a kid… And, I have AlReady been a kid, BUT You’ve Never been a grown-up!” Hah!!! Stunned her silent for at least a few days!!! Lol

Amanda Olson MacPherson 1 year ago

You might have a few allies. I’m not one of them. I think this is hilarious! My youngest kid always has messy hair and he forgets his backpack in the car at least once a week. My older son wears most of his food all the time and likes to treat the teachers to an ADHD meltdown at least once a week. Despite our best efforts, our progeny do their best to make us look like negligent hobos when we’re not there to immediately wipe snot or remind them not to mention the time you forgot to pay the bill and you came home to shut off electric.

kristen 1 year ago

sorry, um that was probably my kid. i needed a break from him for the day so sent him to the zoo to climb with the rest of the monkeys.

Mary Widdicks 1 year ago

I’m now both terrified and excited to chaperone a field trip. Thanks…I think 😉

misti 1 year ago

Thanks again, as a side note, have u ever written about stomach flu in the ENTIRE house?? I have a great one even you, the master may find funny. Fam of 5, ages mom, dad, 11, 4, 1.
everyone sick but me.
4 yr old puking in toilet when 1 yr old starts yelling OH NO!! I run out of bathroom to find said 1 year old standing in the middle of floor with not one, but two streams of liqui poo shooting out the sides of diaper onto floor into yellow gelatinous puddle when my husband runs in the back door demanding our only toilet only to find 4 yr old throwing up and ends up pooping in a bucket on the back porch. BWAHAHAHAHAAA. Never did get that particular bug, but I paid…… Oh yes, I did. LOL

I Love To Play! 1 year ago

It’s all typical parenting examples. Chances are, your kids are these kids at one point or another and so are hers. There is no perfect parent and no perfect child.

jen 1 year ago

Mg child had no idea what lunchables were until other kids had them and she begged. So I gave in. Now it is a special treat, like for field trip days (and random other occassions). Guess I should rethink that one, huh?

Amanda Horner George 1 year ago

Eeek! I love this page but hated this blog and almost felt offended by it which is odd! I am hard to offend.

Erin 1 year ago

LoL!! 😛 thx so much for the laughs, I’m chaperoning my sons kindergarten field trip to the zoo for the 1st time- I’m afraid, very afraid 😉

Josie Abshier 1 year ago

Is the air thin so far up there on your high horse? The self depreciation doesn’t soften the true nature of this piece. Satire is difficult. This one misses the mark.

Adrianne Johnston 1 year ago

I chaperoned a school wide trip to the movies where I sat with my 1st grader. The little girl on the other side of me talked the entire time about her mother’s depression…1st grade!!! What my kids must say (1st, 4th and 8th)! I go on my 4th grade son’s trip this Friday…wish me luck!

Amber Myshell 1 year ago

I admit I look forward to seeing somewhat frazzled, chaotic moms at stores, but not because they make me feel like a better parent, I just feel less alone in this world when a mom is trying to keep a baby happy, while making sure the preschooler is still following, and the first grader wants the IPhone now….

Keri Taylor 1 year ago

I suddenly don’t feel so bad

Sarah Fritz-Maldonado 1 year ago

Lol hilarious and as a parent to both a teen and infants no matter how clean a home or how on top if things a person is kids are going to be as gross as they want… Either they’ll be comfortable enough to do it in front of you or they don’t trust you and will do worse gross things behind your back either way enjoy the ride

Heath Maull 1 year ago

Wow lots of butthurt feelings. You always have the option to not read the post. This is SM’s blog, not yours. If you want to regulate content, write your own blog about positivity, fairy farts and sunshine. I’ll stick with SM’s humorous take on reality. If you’re offended cause your kid eats a crap lunch, accept your decision to allow your kids to do so and own it. Justifying your actions degrades us both. I have to go check on my perfect child now because I am a perfect mom. It’s ok if he’s sitting in a pile of his own excrement chewing on an electrical cord, right? At least he doesn’t have lice and a grill.

Jen West 1 year ago

And unfortunately there’s always that one kid whose parents forgot to pack a lunch AND didn’t fill out the form to buy a prepackaged school lunch. On my first kindergarten field trip I learned to PACK EXTRA STUFF so my kid could share if needed.

Brandy Fee 1 year ago

Lighten up people! If this made you mad or upset or feel judged, then you felt that way BEFORE reading this. It’s HUMOR. And it’s nothing everyone of us hasn’t THOUGHT at some point. The only difference is that some of us aren’t as worried about being PC or “mean.” And if you say you’ve NEVER had thoughts about another kid’s parents, you’re full of shit!! Rock on Scary Mommy!!

Julie Barrett 1 year ago

I am sure it was meant to be funny but yes, I agree it was off-putting in parts. I think of the sensory kids, the borderline Asperger’s kids, and those whose parents are divorcing or who just lost their house and so on – and the struggles some parents have that this author may have blessedly not have experienced. Or maybe she has and is just trying to make light of it. It makes me sad to think of the parents who can’t be there for the field trip being judged by the ones who can – and it was just IMO in poor taste. Now I’m vaguely jealous of those who can read this and just find the humor in it without knowing that often there is a lot more to it than what it looks like.

janice 1 year ago

And I get that by ‘including’ herself it should be ok…..but that’s just a justification. Like the southern ladies insulting each other and adding ‘bless her heart’ each time is a justification. I think what the difference is between the people that see this as offensive and others that don’t could be this. We are all frazzled and have our kids go out the door in less than perfect ways at times. Some think making fun of this in all of us is funny. And I guess it is. But others perhaps had personal experience or know someone that did that went though major issues/tragedies/hardships at home and find nothing funny about pointing out when a child is dirty. I know that some parents do all they can to get their kid out the door, fed and alive on certain days and find it a major accomplishment due to the severe depression or illness in the home. That’s when pointing out a child is dirty is not funny. Perhaps the people that think it’s funny have not had any close experiences with the real hardship in life.We should be supporting each other and willing to listen to why some think it’s offensive instead of shutting us down and insinuating we are ‘butt hurt?’ . That’s pretty snobby.

WriterMom Angela 1 year ago

Yes, yes, yes! I always say nothing makes me appreciate how non-awful my children are like spending time with other people’s children and nothing makes me feel like a better parent than witnessing other people’s parenting up close!

Elisa Corona Watkins 1 year ago

This is wonderful and so true.

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

My kids definitely fall into some if these categories and you know what I’m ok with that. No parent does everything perfectly, and I’d worry if they did. It probably would mean they spend more energy making everything perfect than actually spend quality time with their kids. Your kids are not going to remember the Pinterest perfect birthday parties or the organic gluten free surprises you made them but they will remember the awesome forts you built, going puddle jumping, building snowmen.. So long story short we all notice those crusty booger, disheveled kids and feel good to know we are not the only ones with “those kids”. That I believe is the point this author was trying to make.

Rachel 1 year ago

You do realize this was sarcastic, right? I mean the author did clarify that she was in the same boat as these parents. Not saying that you had to like what she said but just understand she wasn’t being judgmental to other parents because we all have messed up parenting skills.

Ursula Gehrke 1 year ago

It’s quite simple. I’m Swedish, i.e English is not my first language, and if you don’t read this article as satire you need to go back to school.
Well written. Funny. Hilarious. And yes….I Thank God I’m not the only mother who drops her kids off at school realizing, too late of course, that one didn’t actually brush their teeth hence dragon breath alert when I kiss bye, bye, and the other didn’t wipe his bottom properly so therefore has got itchy bottom syndrome and I forgot an extra pair of pants today so off to the toilet he goes and it’s commando for the day. Number three gets to come home with me so the crusty snot won’t be an issue for another couple of years.
To the author:
It’s not bad writing, it’s bad reading by people who have too low self esteem to laugh at themselves, just like many have no problems with commenting on others, thinking they’re being funny, and then get angry and self defensive when the joke is on them.
THOSE are the people I want to stay away from and why I read Scary Mommy. Thank you for making me laugh out loud today…

Melissa Earls 1 year ago

Kristen is great the blogs rock and the sense of humor is hilarious so that is that! Abandoning Pretense

Jennifer Clark Jones 1 year ago

My thought is, as long as the kids are acting decent (and at least have shoes on) what the fuck do I care what they look like? They have plenty of time as teenagers to spend time on thier appearance. :)

Jennifer Simms Scrivener 1 year ago

Yes, my kid eats lunchables sometimes. Yes he dressed all in green one day and I couldn’t win the “but it matches!” argument. But he’s loved.

janice 1 year ago

I’m sorry but I don’t see a difference between being a ‘smart aleck’ and making fun of people without knowing their circumstances. Kids do it every day and there are major programs underway to curb the behavior. Am I being judgmental of the author?? Maybe, I don’t really know. I just ask that she try to look at the situations differently and with an open heart. If a parent is dealing with a dying spouse and working 2 jobs, had to leave an older child to get the younger on the bus in the morning and is doing everything they can to not break down read this article (and they would know the author and know the field trip and know if was them the author is making fun of) …. is that ok? I guess there are all different types out there. This is enlightening to me. I still can’t believe how many people think it’s funny.

Breann Louise Hall 1 year ago

I got from this that none of us are perfect parents, and that it feels better to know you aren’t the only one with messy, stinky kids. Hell…. if we’re all flying by the seat of our pants… maybe no one will notice my kid is wearing the same uniform shirt from yesterday

Renee Crawford 1 year ago

Fantastic post by the way!

Renee Crawford 1 year ago

Sometimes I forget to check my daughters outfit before she leaves the house and several times I’ve almost made her change her cloths but we are already on the way so too late!

janice 1 year ago

The parent with a child that had a dirty face…..could be ill, dealing with an ill spouse, could be working two jobs raising 4 kids on her own, or could be away on a business trip.
You offer that you had lice 8 times as a child yet belittle a mother that follows proper protocol in getting rid of the lice that her child could have picked up at school. There is nothing trashy about catching the lice. Trashy is letting it infiltrate your house without doing anything about it and living with it. That doesn’t sound like this mother and she doesn’t make me feel like a better mom.
The child with a new motor home, swimming pool, etc could be actually living in the motor home perhaps at a campground that has a pool. I’m sure they wouldn’t get a mortgage if their last house was foreclosed on. Why be so quick to judge their circumstances. It is possible these parents or parent are heartbroken over a recent tragedy that left them penniless. Or not….but we don’t know. They do NOT make me feel like a better mom.
There is a single father in my town with 5 kids under the age of 10. Often I see his son with pants that are well above the ankles and obviously ill fitting. I struggled with how to let him know that our church gives away free clothes once a month without hurting his feelings or embarrassing him. Shame on me for not finding the right words but at least I didn’t write an article about how he makes me feel like a better mom.
This entire article sounds like bullying, passively making fun of children and arrogantly thinking you’re better than other parents without knowing a single thing about their circumstances. I’m surprised how many people find this funny. Please try to look at these situations differently. There is a meme circulating facebook, not sure if you’ve seen it…’the girl you just called fat…she’s starving herself to lose weight, the boy you made fun of for crying…..his mother is dying’ it continues but the point is that we should not judge others. This article makes me very sad. Sad for the kids that innocently looked up to you as a leader, helper, role model and sad for the parents who may be at their wits end with whatever they are dealing with at home and had to send their kids off to be judged like this by you..

Jessica Mentzos 1 year ago

I thought this was great.

Jennifer Lavin 1 year ago


Delinda Forsmark Ponder 1 year ago

My baby is almost 28 so it’s been a while since I went on a field trip. Nice to know some things never change! Annnnd… my head STILL itches. Looking forward to grandbabies.

Jessica Schubert 1 year ago

I could be wrong- but I think she was just being a smart aleck.
There’s really no way to comment on this post (unless to say it is funny) without actually becoming what you do not like about the post. Suburban, woman, assuming it’s bc she is a woman (men think the same things, I’m sure) saying any of these things or more in “reply” makes you no less judgmental than her. It’s an interesting human behavior study to stand around and watch a bunch of people judge someone else for being judgmental.

Laura Fettig Johnson 1 year ago

While I chuckled when I read this, I kind if agree with both sides here. You never know what has happened in that kid’s home that day. Maybe someone is sick or died or is severely depressed. Or maybe nobody is looking out for that kid. I get satire. But everyone should just have compassion for everyone. Maybe there isn’t a shitty parent behind that unhealthy lunch. Maybe it’s an older brother or sister and something happened to the parents. Maybe you caught them in a bad day. I taught in a school where MOST of the kids were dirty and smelly and not taken care of. Most of them didn’t have parents who were sober, or home, or alive. You just never know what is really going on under the surface. Some of them were truly horrible parents, but not on the level you are writing about, really horrid. Keep up the good posts though. Most of the time, you crack me up.

Rachel Ann Termini 1 year ago

I used to volunteer at my twins’ kindergarten class. One time a parent handed out birthday invites to all the kids, after school, except mine. I didn’t care, my daughter did though. Made me realize what assholes parents are. The mom didn’t like the way I looked so she didn’t invite my daughter. Luckily, we moved after that year, if I had to deal with that woman there may have been issues… I may have had to resort to ugly measures! Lol

Jessica Farrell 1 year ago

I am usually the first to defend the humor and artistic license of an author. But this one…I just can’t defend. She is saying that all these parents are doing a “shitty” job. Yes, she includes herself, but that doesn’t really take away the insult. It’s like going to the beach and saying “damn, everyone here is really overweight and looks horrible in their bathing suits! Oh yeah, including me.” Sorry, but that would still be insulting.

Alexandra Marcy 1 year ago


Mónica Garza-Garza 1 year ago

If the shoe fits…. And using the excuse of independence to let them go out to the world with un brush teeth, dirty faces, messy hair, etc for me it’s letting them know being sloppy it’s ok. It’s not a choice having good hygiene. If you want to teach them to be independent let them choose their cloths, put on their cloth, pick their lunch etc, they are kids and need direction. And if I see a child in crazy cloth I know he is trying to find his/hers “mojo” and if a see dirty noses or faces at the end of the day well is normal, but seeing a messy child early in the morning that just screams lazy mom sorry! And pleasssseeee stop being sooo delicate and face the “ugly true” of parenting.

Kate 1 year ago

When my oldest was in second grade we had to go to a presidential museum. One of the kids ran out into the street and I was the only mother that yelled at him. The rest of the parents also didn’t care that the boys were hitting each other in the crotch or running like cheetahs through the place. It was then that I decided that I was a better parent after seeing these ladies in action. That was BEFORE I looked at the kids. I now refuse to go on these trips because I am not sure I can control myself. Oh, and did I mention that I am not a fan of large groups of kids? It is apparent that I am never going to be the cool mom.

P.S. My kid was running with the best of them, so I am not implying mine was an angel, but at least I tried to keep them calm.

Rita Allee 1 year ago

Lmao at all the butthurt mommies taking this way too seriously. Are you all offended because the kid she’s talking about maybe sounds like yours?

Life is too short to have a stick up your bum. Laugh for God’s sake!

We are ALL judgmental, and if you aren’t, you’re a damn liar.

Marcia @ Menopausal Mother 1 year ago

Great post! Brings back a lot of memories from when I used to go on the field trips with the kiddos. The lice comment totally skeeved me out—I alway cringed when kids told me that, haha!

Amy Quinones 1 year ago

I don’t understand how everyone is taking this so serious. Have you not read the book, or previous blogs, it’s intent is to laugh at ourselves, faults and all.

Amy Quinones 1 year ago

I agree. She isn’t making fun of anyone she is simply saying she shouldn’t be so hard on herself and neither should you!

Laura Fitzpatrick 1 year ago


Adele 1 year ago

Me too!

Corin Coleman 1 year ago

I’d love to stay home and do it “properly”… but reality slapped me in the face a long time ago. Besides, I like that I’m setting a strong, get-it-done example for my kid.

Michelle Fenton 1 year ago

…and that’s why moms or dads need to stay home & properly care for their kids or hire a nanny, if you must go to work. I bet none of these poorly dressed or messy kids, came from households with a SAHM or SAHD!

Bklynwebgrrl 1 year ago

Ooo – I have one for you. My 10 year old daughter sleeps with her dirty clothes. The hamper isn’t two feet from her bed but every few days I find several outfits mixed in with her sheets.

Corin Coleman 1 year ago

A lot judgier than usual, Scary.

Lori Stover 1 year ago

Ladies, this is SATIRE! Being a mom is hard, we have all been judged about something as a parent and therefore have developed insecurities about parenting. In this new social media, Pinterest, selfie, generation of raising kids there is an idea that moms must always present a perfect specimen to the world and this is a satirical account of just that!
The definition of satire is:
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature; More

Melissa Scott 1 year ago

The best thing I found out when I attended to trip to the aquarium with my first grader this year was how he behaves. At one point, another little boy sat down on the ground and was crying because he got shoved a little by another kid at one of the tanks. The teacher went to talk to him and helped him up, and over comes Isaac, takes his hand and walks him back to his spot. He let him go in front (because he’s super tall for his age) Teacher looks over at me and mouths “Did you see that?” I about burst with mommy pride. Seriously though, it was good to see how he acts in public instead of at home. (because sometimes at home I’m bursting with mommy frustration.)

Mónica Rivera-Ruano 1 year ago

I’m saddened by this, really I am. I would hate for another mother to look at my child and see filth and disgust rather than a child. In their defense, my daughter gets dropped off looking great, by the time I pick her up, she looks like she’s been through a scavenger hunt in a dumpster. Women like this are the reason I hate, absolutely HATE suburban living, also re-justifies the reasons why I refuse to have women friends.

Jessica Schubert 1 year ago

No matter your circumstance, you can wash your child’s face and brush their hair. Unless no one has hands I suppose.

Linda 1 year ago

And I Loved this post.

Linda 1 year ago

My kid has food aversions & takes the same crappy lunch of a cereal bar, cheese its, capri sun & brownie. Lunch attendant saw it 1 day, forced him to buy a lunch (from his brothers act) and he laid his head down & cried the whole lunch. I know anyone who sees my kids lunch must think I’m a horrible parent but I just don’t care anymore. I’m sure they suck at something that I don’t. 😀

Katya B. Ceci Ribeiro 1 year ago

And then there are the parents that chaperone the trip and decide that for a bus sing-along the kids should sing 100 bottles of beer in the wall….

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Kristina, no worries, mama! I threw in a heaping helping of my own shortcomings because honestly, this job is IMPOSSIBLE to do perfectly – we might as well just laugh at ourselves! xoxo

Crystal 1 year ago

We all suck in our own way – and that’s okay!

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Foxy – yep. Me too!

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Angela – oh dear, I’m afraid I am occasionally the parent in the slippers. You still like me, right? 😉

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Susan, I poke fun, but chaperoning field-trips truly is a blast. I volunteer for every one of them that I can! =)

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Misti I’m so glad I could be of service. 😉

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Haha, none of us are perfect. Which is why we should cherish these moments of “maybe I’m not doing as bad as I thought” whenever we can! =)

jess 1 year ago

I forgot all about my kid’s 1st grade award ceremony last week. Now if she turns to drugs as a teen, I’ll know why.

Aimee Hempy-De La Cruz 1 year ago

LOVE IT!!! My son is now in 6th but in Kinder-3rd, I volunteered every week for 4 mos each and lemme tell you, I literally had the best behaved child in each class and I’m so grateful I helped out bcz I’m very strict and thought my kid was terrible til I saw OTHER kids!!! The things that come out of some of the little girls’ mouths is just shocking and cruel. I was always sitting next to girls that the other girls were mean to and comforting them. The boys were terrors! I’ve got a sweet, shy kid who never causes trouble. I thought all kids were like this!

stefanie Sierra 1 year ago

A few of those kids would be mine . I’m always yelling as there half way to the bus stop if the brushed there teeth. And I’m always losing a kid

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Thanks, @Phoenix! I’m glad I made you laugh! =)

Kristina 1 year ago

This was really funny but lets remember its not so black and white. One of my daughters gets terrible allergies and I swear I clean her nose 50 times a day and she still has crusted buggers. My other daughter has malformed molars and even though we limit sugars and brush twice a day it is almost impossible to thoroughly brush those teeth and she ended up with a couple of silver crowns this year. And no I didn’t breast feed her until she was 5 or let her sleep with a bottle, its just the way her teeth grew in. My point, some things we can control, some we can’t, so lets not be to judgy!

Mande Sumner 1 year ago

Looks like you ARE one of the few. I don’t find this to be about the kids at all. I also don’t find it to be judgmental. She clearly points out all of HER downfalls as a parent. What I do find are those people who tend to think a post is judgmental are doing an ace of a job being judgmental themselves. The post is all in good fun and to those of us with a sense of humor it is hilarious!

Alana Meyer 1 year ago

You’re a crack up!

Jessica Fillion 1 year ago

Hmmmm the comments really show how everyone perceives things differently. I perceived this as a mom not judging other parents in anything other than a sarcastic sense. Like the oh wait, that’s my kid. She personally threw herself in there because she was admitting she is not the only one. And the lice comment didn’t say the kid mentioned having lice multiple times, only that her mom spent all day getting rid of it, which she mentally replied with the fact that she too had lice 6 times. I don’t see this as “judging” these parents but relating to them on her behalf (and mine). And speaking of judging….. really, who cares. Maybe if parents spent less time being afraid of being judged, and judging those that judge, and just be happy with themselves as they are then they would be less offended and find humor in everything. So, go head and judge me, I don’t really care. Btw, my 4yr old has had cheesecake and/or brownies for breakfast everyday this week.

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

haha, Beatrice – and in spite of my best efforts to the contrary, I am probably one of them! 😉

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

That. Was. Awesome. Yes, thank you to those parents. And I’ll happily be one of those parents from time to time so others can feel better too.

Monica Davey 1 year ago

It seems to me that the SM articles of late have been really heavy handed in the judgment department. Isn’t SM all about how we are not supposed to judge each other, but support each other? Maybe it is time to take a break from SM until it comes back around to the core values. Or maybe I’ll just go read the confessional, where nobody judges.

Caleb Browning 1 year ago

I almost dont understand the jokes in here just made me upset. You should never judge anybody in any situation with out knowing all of it first. You should be ashamed of your self author.

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@debra, my kid’s clothes are constantly wrinkled, too. I’ve tried ironing before, but the effect is lost about 32 seconds after he gets dressed. Why bother? 😉

Laura Arthur Baker 1 year ago

Written by Bitchy McJudgy – worse than all the snot, lice and wrinkles combined!!

Mendy Anthony 1 year ago

This is just a joke. She included herself,

Jen Cotton 1 year ago


Leah Tee Sprooll 1 year ago

Read this whole thing loved it.

Alison Church 1 year ago

I read this as a joke. I could have read it another way but it’s scary mommy so I didn’t.

stacey sheehan 1 year ago

It was kind of a no brainer, I mean did these sharks even read the post? The author clearly states her kids are also gross, and pointed out her kids get grosser and more annoying with sugary treats, HA HA. She admitted to having had lice 6 times as a child, and that her kid is the one getting lost and head butting everyone. READ IT …you might actually get it! As always Kristen, your post was humble, funny and bang on.

Harley Quinn 1 year ago

Unliking this page, what judements

Angela Rod 1 year ago

Glad to see I’m not the only one to have these thoughts! I see this everyday in my daughters kinder class & my sons first grade class. I volunteer almost daily so I interact with these kids a lot. I’m super nice & professional to the kids but I can’t help the thoughts in my head! Geez, some kids in the morning looking like they just rolled out of bed. What in the world were their parents thinking sending them to school like that. But then you see the parents picking them up in their pj pants & slippers…..and yes the same pants & slippers from the morning drop off. I hate to think about people like that but come on! You can’t throw on some jeans and sneakers!?! P.s. The lice comment was spot on…..made my head itch just reading it;)

Susan Maccarelli 1 year ago

This was great! Thanks to you, I will actually look forward to my first field trip chaperoning when my daughter starts school. Not for the fun and the opportunity to help out, but for the ability to feel better about myself as a mother via your method!

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Emphasis on the “awesome” part? 😉

Elyse Angelico-Dumas 1 year ago

Too funny!

Erin Houchins 1 year ago

To be a parent of an ADHD child and assuming you know what it feels like to be judged…you sound like a total hypocrite.

Misti 1 year ago

Just need to say thank you!! Your witty analysis of life has saved my day many times. As the four year old is trying to tie the almost two year old up with a garden hose and he in turn is sucking the water out if a spray bottle, because you know a cup would be way less fun, and is also throwing rocks at sissy with MLB like momentum. It really helps to read your articles. Especially at 10am, nap time a distant wish. Lolz

Beth 1 year ago

The first and last one I’m guilty of. One girl in the health room while I was waiting for my son declared proudly she had lice 3 times that year. Needless to say, I didn’t sit down, and didn’t let my son sit down when he arrived because the chairs had cloth backing.

My other 6-year-old son was at a playground when he showed off a newly lost baby front tooth. The slightly older kid he was playing with said with pride (really, who prides themselves on this stuff?) that he had a cavity. My son gave him an odd look and said “I brush my teeth!” I could have high-fived him right then and there.

Kristin Reinhardt 1 year ago

Well a lot of these things happen to ALL parents… Like the lunch im sry but I will send my son to school with these things so what if its a prepackaged pb&j or snackys. My son eats great and is very healthy so I send him yummy treats with lunch. And whats wrong with lice…. A LOT of kids get it ESP in school that isnt on the parents or the runny nose. Some kids just have a VERY runny nose and it adds up quickly on their upper lip again not the parents fault…..

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

I love chaperoning field-trips – even if I do have to wipe other kids’ boogers! 😉

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

@Melanie Unger – thanks. You got the point. The post was meant to be FUNNY while recognizing that none of us are perfect. The sooner we let go of the pursuit of perfection and learn to laugh at ourselves, the sooner we can relax and enjoy the beautiful (and totally disgusting) job of motherhood! 😉 xoxo

Coolest Friend To-some 1 year ago

Judgmental much?

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

No need to defend anyone – the whole point of this post is for us all to recognize that none of us are perfect, and THAT IS OKAY! =) =)

Heather Thompson 1 year ago

I see quite a few judgemental people. If the kid is safe , mind your own.

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Thanks, Heather. I knew there would be some butt-hurt. The post was all meant in fun, and I feel like some people intentionally glance over the parts where I admit my own faults, just so they can have a chance to whine. Glad you got the point! 😉

Melanie Unger 1 year ago

I’m thrilled that I read it. It’s true. If you’ve ever been around a large group of young children, you can completely appreciate the HUMOR and TRUTH to all of this.

And she included HERSELF in the list. How is that judgemental?

Jennifer Zapf 1 year ago

my almost 7yo eats almost nothing, and not one thing will she eat two meals in a row except pasta… kid is going to be diabetic for sure.. nothing I can do about it (I’m too old and tired now to fight).. she is growing and she poops every darn day… so how bad can it be

Molly Hemmen Schladetzky 1 year ago

I usually like Scarymommy because it is all about not having to be a perfect parent but this article seems to be just another parenting shaming piece. You suck so bad I feel better about myself because I am a better parent than you. Of course I may be sensitive because the description of the absolute crap lunch was pretty much what my 13 yr old eats every day. Because he will eat it and eating a PB&j (even if it is processed) and chocolate milk and cheeseits is better than eating nothing. And eating nothing results in a melt down that takes hours to recover from.

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

I knew it had to be something. 😉 xoxo

jamie 1 year ago

In defense of the kid with a bad lunch, maybe it was a special treat for field trip day. When i was in school lots of kids would get a lunchable on the FTD but not on any other day

Heather 1 year ago

Funny, I love knowing that I am not the only one.
I feel sad that people are sounding a bit offended. It is funny and almost every parent has been there at one point.
Dropped my kid off at daycare this morning and went to kiss her goodbye and realized that her face could not be dirtier. Oh well, she was happy!

Jennifer Zapf 1 year ago

feeling blessed the school never wants me to go..

Leah Stanton 1 year ago

That’s a shame. :

Molly Hemmen Schladetzky 1 year ago

I had the same thought. It isn’t about feeling good about your own parenting fails, it’s about shaming other parents and saying thank god I don’t suck as bad as you.

Dana Sestak Paris 1 year ago

Yay for slackers!

Molly Jo Sanderson 1 year ago

Please be careful about judging crappy lunch boxes. My twins are extremely fussy eaters, won’t try anything new, and were actually on a field trip today. I really worried about the parent helper judging my food for them; they eat pretty healthily at home but because they just won’t eat/try much and I am limited about what I can give them at school (nut allergies etc) it may look as though I don’t give a shit. I agree that this post is judgemental, and not what we come to expect from. Scary mommy.

Danie Greenlee 1 year ago

Nothing new there, unfortunately. And since you’re speaking up, be on the lookout for the comments about being stuck up and thinking you’re better than everyone. Scary mommy has become scary judgmental mommies.

Jennifer Lloyd 1 year ago

I feel like a bad parent sometimes and then I go to the school and see other children…Nah I’m good lol

J.S.M 1 year ago

That was completely Judgey on all accounts. I’m sorry I read that.

Heather Pantera Stevens 1 year ago

I have my 1st class-trip-chaperoning experience coming up this Thursday…

Queen of Evil 1 year ago

This makes me looks forward to field trips. Though I am sure after one I will be over it. I spend a trip with the kid trying to keep him from killing himself or someone else … not sure if my nerves could take managing that for 20 or more.

Leah Stanton 1 year ago

No, it’s about judging other parents. Don’t we have enough of that going around? This piece seems to contradict what Scary Mommy is all about.

Camille Young Ehlert 1 year ago

Annnd now my head itches. Lol. Thanks crappy parents, for making me look like a star!! LMAO!

Phoenix Fourleaf 1 year ago

This is hysterical! Spot on!

Sara Smith 1 year ago

This isn’t about the kids at all – it’s about the parents

Lora Daley 1 year ago

Wow. These are kids we are talking about. Am I the only one who finds this to be in really, really poor taste?

Susie Hieronymus O’Leary 1 year ago

Thank God my husband was on my side! We feel like as long as she’s clean and fed, uniform is clean, it’s all good!

Sara Smith 1 year ago

I feel better about mine coming home in pants yesterday even though he left in shorts … apparently while dressing himself he decided it was too hot fir underwear and at story time was apparently on display for the WHOLE class to see

Sherrie Netter Timothy 1 year ago

Oh yes!! As I think often on the drive to school “did he brush his teeth this am?” LOL

Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Susie Hieronymus O’Leary my MIL (and to some extent, my husband) tried to guilt me the same way – I was like “NO NO NO. you need to go the school and see all the other kids. We’re doin’ okay. Promise.” haha

Amber Pierce 1 year ago


Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Mari Martinez bahaha

Victor Petry 1 year ago

I better stay away from this they might want to make me their leader…

Susie Hieronymus O’Leary 1 year ago

I was made to feel bad by my MIL that I didn’t fix my stepdaughters hair every morning AND iron her uniforms every morning, she told my stepdaughter “they’ll make fun of you if you don’t look your very best every day…” I’ve been to the school, didn’t see a single kid that looked their very best, it’s middle school! ALL the kids are a mess and that’s ok!

Stephanie Cannon 1 year ago

lamo!! this is great….. did she even look at his face this morning. :) :)

Danie Greenlee 1 year ago

I chaperoned a 2nd grade field trip to the zoo last month. It was such a great day. The kids were well behaved, all dressed appropriately, etc. the only things I worried about was the kid who cried because her mom promised to show and didn’t and the kid who brought a can of soda and Reece’s for lunch.

Amy Brabant 1 year ago

Hahaha!!! Ok yeah maybe I’m not that bad. Wait, did my kids brush their teeth this morning?! Hmm…

Deirbhille McClure Milloy 1 year ago

I love this!!

Sarah Menken 1 year ago

Thank you…I now have snot on my face from laughing so hard…

Leslie Heiks Freeman 1 year ago

“Oh, wait… that was my kid. Nevermind.” LOL

Juliette LaBelle 1 year ago


Shelby Bacon 1 year ago

Sooo true!

Catherine McCrory 1 year ago

I love helicopter moms that insist they go on every field trip with their kids so I don’t have to!! (^^^)

Katie Mary 1 year ago

I know this was meant for parents, but as a teacher it cracked me up! This is everyday- not just field trip days

Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense 1 year ago

Gah! Poor kid! My son told me this morning *MY* breath was stinky. It was about 2 minutes after I’d brushed my teeth, too. :-/

Maggie Carlton Buckley 1 year ago

HA!! Love this!

Danielle Young 1 year ago


Yvonne Ifudidntknow 1 year ago

Haha good piece

Kristi Duehr 1 year ago

Hahaha my daughter didnt brush her hair so I did a messy ponytail to make everyone at school think we meant to leave it messy

Beatrice Leavens Brown 1 year ago

Thank you, once again, for affirming that I am not the only parent who questions her skills, and that there may be worse parents out there.

Kristin Jones Ott 1 year ago

Hahahaha awesome

Debra Laukaitis 1 year ago

I always feel bad because my kids clothes are wrinkled and I sometimes let 8 year old dress himself and it ain’t pretty

Holly Ford 1 year ago

LOL. I chaperoned a field trip for kindergartners a few weeks ago. Mostly the kids were great. The parents who weren’t chosen as chaperones who met us at the zoo… not so much.
Though there was that one kid who had to be told not to climb on EVERYTHING every few seconds, why couldn’t his parents meet us at the zoo?

Diane Burke Ptacin 1 year ago

Lets just face it, we all awesomely suck.

Melinda C Schatz 1 year ago

this was just what I need this morning !

Jessica Vollman 1 year ago

This was hilarious!!

Amber Pratt 1 year ago

Aaaaannnnnd now my head itches! :)

Stephanie 1 year ago

Hahaha. My daughter came home on the last day of school and told me a girl said her breath stank. I was all, well that’s not nice. Then she says, everyone says that. Ohhhhh, shiiiiiit. (it’s the ear infections, not poor hygiene! Swear!)