Paris Rolls Out Sidewalk Urinals Because Men Can't Be Inconvenienced, Ever

by Maria Guido
Thomas Samson/ Getty Images

Paris debuts public sidewalk urinals because men can’t stop pissing everywhere

Men already have a huge upper hand when it comes to the inconvenience of finding a public toilet. Have you ever seen a men’s room line? Like, ever?

Even though they rarely need to stand in line, and once they get to the bathroom they can simply aim and shoot, without worrying about destroying their calf muscles hovering over a piss-soaked seat — or worse — sitting on someone else’s bodily fluids, they still need an easier solution to the problem of finding a public toilet in Paris.

Paris stepped up to solve this problem, because why not make things easier for men? Always, in every way? The “uritrottoir” as the city is calling it, is not subtle. It’s a giant red box with a very literal sign hanging over it, picturing a cartoon man peeing into a box. The uritrottoir combines the French words for “urine” and “pavement.” It should’ve been called the “hellno” because, what the fuck?

(Photo by Thomas SAMSON / AFP) (Photo credit should read THOMAS SAMSON/AFP/Getty Images)

AFP/Getty Images

Apparently, Paris has a big problem with men peeing in the street. But instead of publicly shaming them, they are providing them with handy little (okay, big) bright red receptacles to pee into. Nothing to see here. Totally normal.

Women on the internet are not amused.

Yeah, I mean — are we allowed to use these somehow or would we be arrested for indecent exposure? Because I’ll carry the shit out of a funnel just to prove a point. Don’t doubt me.

Seriously, the hypocrisy hear cannot be ignored. Yes, we know public breastfeeding is legal, but women still take a load of crap for it. But sure! Need to pee? Whip it out right in front of the Louvre. No problem.

Slow. Clap.

Solid point, Christina.

“Everywhere, where communities have to deal with nuisances associated with the influx of people: city center, restaurants, events and facilities open to the public… the uritrottoir offers an environmentally friendly, economical and efficient solution for wild peeing,” the product’s website explains.

Wild peeing? You know how women deal with the “nuisance” of having to pee while out in public? We find a fucking bathroom.

On the one hand, great — your city doesn’t smell like piss anymore. On the other hand, are you fucking kidding me? If you’re going to spend this kind of time, energy, and money creating a solution for public restroom needs, can you maybe include women? MAYBE?