Patton Oswalt's Words About Losing His Wife Will Slay You

Comedian pens moving post about grief and loss

A few months ago, stand-up comedian Patton Oswalt – a popular comic, actor, and writer – lost his wife in sudden, inexplicable fashion. 102 days ago, to be exact.

How do I know it was 102 days ago? Because last night he wrote a beautiful, devastating Facebook post about his attempt to navigate through the grief that has consumed him since Michelle McNamara, an acclaimed crime writer in the midst of writing a book on a serial murderer she dubbed “the Golden State Killer,” passed suddenly, and without preamble, in her sleep. She was 46.

Grief is neither an easy topic do discuss nor a simple emotion to put into words, but Oswalt does quite the job of it, and while he insists he’ll get back to making jokes soon, one feels his mordant sense of humor and his penchant for pop culture references peeking through already.

“Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully’s head in a toilet and then fucking the teacher you’ve got a crush on in front of the class. Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a dick.”

Safe to say that not many grieving husbands would find a way to insert Jason Statham into their coping process. And I think we can all agree that depression is a dick.

Emerging from the gloom and despair that is brought on by a loved one’s death is not something one does without help, and Oswalt has had some support from friends, family, and even strangers the past few months, and he is quick to thank them.

“You will have been shown new levels of humanity and grace and intelligence by your family and friends. They will show up for you, physically and emotionally, in ways which make you take careful note, and say to yourself, “Make sure to try to do that for someone else someday.” Complete strangers will send you genuinely touching messages on Facebook and Twitter, or will somehow figure out your address to send you letters which you’ll keep and re-read ’cause you can’t believe how helpful they are.”

Oswalt goes on to mention his plans to start “being funny again” but not before he finishes the book his wife was working on when she died.

“Any spare energy I’ve managed to summon since April 21st I’ve put toward finishing Michelle’s book. With a lot of help from some very amazing people. It will come out. I will let you know. It’s all her. We’re just taking what’s there and letting it tell us how to shape it. It’s amazing.”

[shareable_quote]”I’m going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do before the air caught fire around me and the sun died.”[/shareable_quote]

It’s clear that Patton is getting closer to being Patton again. If you’re on Twitter, his commentary on the political shitshow of the past year and a half has been hilarious and invaluable, and based on the end of his post, he has more to say on the topic.

“Reality is in a death spiral and we seem to be living in a cackling, looming nightmare-swamp. We’re all being dragged into a shadow-realm of doom by hateful lunatics who are determined to send our planet careening into oblivion. Hey, there’s that smile I was missing!”

We’re missing it too, Patton. But take your time. We’ll wait.

“I’m going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do before the air caught fire around me and the sun died. It’s all I knew how to do before I met Michelle. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do now without her.”