Perfect Mornings

by Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

Mornings in our house can go one of two ways: Reasonably well or terribly, horribly wrong. On the very worst of mornings, I’m yanking three kids out of bed, barking at them until my throat is sore and threatening to make them sleep in their clothes – complete with shoelaces tied – the next evening, to avoid doing the same thing all over again.

On the very best of mornings, the kids actually rise on their own, before I’ve attempted to wake them 582 times. They get dressed without a fight and a peek into their lunch boxes doesn’t result in groaning and faux dry heaving. I peel off stickers for the good behavior chart and may even spew out a few math facts or spelling words during the extra moments we have before school. There’s just something magic in the air.

On those treasured mornings, there’s time for me to actually sip a cup of much needed coffee and make a hot breakfast for everyone, rather than tossing random crackers or bananas into the back seat as we race to avoid the dreaded late pass. Of course, I’m not talking homemade French toast, eggs and bacon here – if my kids came down to that sort of breakfast, I’m quite sure they’d quiver in fear, knowing my body had clearly been taken over in a zombie apocalypse. I’m talking a breakfast of oatmeal, otherwise known as the only hot breakfast I’ll ever serve my kids. Fortunately, given the usual harried breakfast they shovel down their throats, they’re thrilled with it.

Quaker knows that there’s no such thing as perfect mornings, at least with kids in the house, so they’ve come up with a new product to help make mornings a little more perfect: Quaker Perfect Portions oatmeal. It comes in flavors like the maple and cinnamon instant packets my kids love, but with no sugar added, so they can sweeten it just the way they like. I’m with the 65 percent of moms who agree that being able to provide a nutritious and wholesome product for their family would help make mealtime a little more perfect1.

Instead of the packets, Quaker Perfect Portions comes in a re-sealable pouch so I can measure out exactly how much I or the kids want – no more wasted half packets! When we’ve really got time on our hands, I even line up some sliced bananas, brown sugar, raisins and strawberries and let the kids go town in a morning style “sundae bar”. Everyone can make their own perfect breakfast, and everyone is happy. For 2.5 precious minutes.

Whatever else happens in the day; inevitable sibling bickering, school uniform malfunctions, minor playground injuries or pop quizzes, at least I know my kids have started the day off right and won’t be starving for a snack ten minutes after I dropped them off. And, honestly, I can’t really ask for much more than that.

Want to try Quaker Perfect Portions for yourself? The first 25 US residents to comment on this post will receive a full sized sample from Quaker. If your comment is #1-25, just send an e-mail to This promotion is solely sponsored by Scary Mommy. If you’re in the Baltimore area, come to my book event on April 15th — you’ll get a morning of fun and a yummy breakfast from Quaker!

This post is sponsored by Quaker, but the opinions are, of course, my own. Quaker Perfect Portions is available in grocery stores nationwide at a suggested retail price of $2.29 per package. For more information on Quaker Perfect Portions, visit, or

1 Survey results of 1,000 moms between the ages of 18-64 with children under the age of 18 conducted by Impulse Research on behalf of The Quaker Oats Company.

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