PSA: Easter Egg Hunts Are For Kids

by Anna Gebert
Image via Shutterstock

Parents ruined an Easter egg hunt after forgetting it was for kids

Easter is a wonderful holiday, rooted in tradition, religion, folklore, a poorly understood mythical rabbit, and maybe some jelly beans. One great institution is the Easter egg hunt – unless it’s a public event cut short, ruined by pushy parents who can’t seem to remember that it’s an occasion for children to exercise their search abilities, have fun, and hopefully tire themselves out.

NBC Connecticut reports that the annual PEZ Easter egg hunt in Orange, Connecticut ended early because parents were apparently incapable of following the simple rules of an egg hunt: let the kids find and collect the barely hidden plastic eggs, be decent to each other, and enjoy the subsequent tooth-decaying sugar rush.

What ensued can only be described as mayhem, as jerk-faced parents reportedly rushed fields to take items before instructions and posted start times, on clearly marked “kid-only” fields. They shoved each other, trampled signs, and took items from other people’s baskets. Unless this was an egg hunt in anticipation of the actual apocalypse, there is no excuse for such desperate behavior.

According to Eyewitness News, PEZ General Manager Shawn Peterson said, “So we started talking to people and said, ‘Hey this is supposed to start at certain time.’ Well that lasted about a minute and everyone just rushed the field and took everything.”

After all, there were 9,300 eggs hidden in three fields, separated by age group – littlest kids to biggest kids. 9,300 EGGS – NOT A TYPO. Even with an unexpected massive turnout of over 1,000 kids, that’s still a lot of free goddamn eggs for kids to recover. This event was sponsored by PEZ, the company responsible for the adorable yet infuriating dispensers of colorful, chalky candies. It was not sponsored by Rolex. What were these people expecting to find in the fields that was worth injuring other people over? This stuff can be procured at a dollar store, but without having to pay for parking.

Parents chaotically bum-rushing a holiday community event is one head-shaking thing, but what happened as they misbehaved is reprehensible: kids were actually getting hurt by stampeding parents. Human parents. This is supposed to be a special occasion to let kids be kids, to allow them to revel in the magic and mystery of Easter.

“My grandson ended up with a bloody nose from an ADULT in the 9-12 year old section knocking into him!!!! Where was PEZ personnel?? Where was the safety of our children in your thought process?? And to make matters worse, how about almost getting hit by a vehicle leaving your property, which had parked in your lot and was leaving, in very close proximity to the “egghunt” field?” Jennifer Barden-Moore wrote on PEZ’s Facebook page.

While this woman was justifiably upset about her grandson being violently jostled by an asshole adult, it’s a bit extreme to lay blame on PEZ, who’ve benevolently hosted the egg hunt twice without incident. What are they supposed to do – surround the fields in retractable barbed wire and post armed guards? Sorry, but it’s the adults’ responsibility to behave like – gasp! – grownups; Easter egg hunts are exclusively for children. Nothing in those fields, not even limited release Reese’s peanut butter eggs, is worth injury to kids.