The idea of dating right now scares the shit out of me. With little kids, it just seems so impossible. But I was thinking about the possible ways I could meet my next husband, as a working mom of three, when that time does come. Here’s what I came up with:
1. The Grocery Store. Because everyone knows grocery stores are the perfect place to meet someone. You know, as you both reach for the produce at the same time and your hands brush against each other as you grab the same apple. And I’m sure when they see me with my three boys running through the aisles like uncaged monkeys as I chase the blueberries my son just knocked on the floor they’ll think, “Let me in on some of that!!!”
2. The Zoo. At first they might be confused as to whether we are part of the zoo as the newest exhibit or just a mom with her kids… but once they flesh it out, I’m sure their next thought will be, “Sign me up!”
3. The Doctor’s Office. Oh wait… It’s usually just moms at the doctor’s office, with their sick bunch of children. But if there happened to be a single dad there someday, I’m sure in between nose wiping and juggling or chasing kids, the thought for us both would be, “Hey, wanna join forces!?”
4. Church. Because every churchgoing guy’s first thought when he sees a single mom of three dropping off her brood at the nursery is, “There’s my dream come true!”
5. Online. Because you can totally trust what those guys put on their profiles, and of course their main mission is to jump into the middle of someone else’s soap opera. Plus, have you seen those little ads on Facebook for the single dad dating sites? Truly stellar!
6. A Red Light or Traffic Jam. Because every guy is attracted to the mom in the minivan singing and dancing to Veggie Tales with her nearly complete basketball team of kids in the back seat. And for sure that dude that made a pass at me as he drove by is who I’m after. Let me floor it in my mom wagon and chase him down because I think he’s definitely marriage material!
7. A Bar. Because that worked out really well for me the first time, so as soon as I catch a babysitter, I’m sure my Prince Charming is just hanging out waiting for me sipping his rum and coke. But of course, only to step in as the knight in shining armor my sons and I have always dreamed of. He’d have no agenda other than that, and wants nothing more than a ready-made family to slide into. Night out, here I come!
8. Ball Practice (or whatever activity we’re doing in a few years). Because surely when I’m there cheering for my sons, out of the corner of my eye I’ll be searching for Mr. Right. And I definitely won’t want to punch him in the mouth for trying to pick me up and distracting me from being there for my kids.
9. A Friend of a Friend. Oh, except that I don’t have any friends who I see anymore because the whole mom gig just sort of takes up all my free time these days. Plus, the majority of my friends are scattered to the four winds across the United States, so unless I want to have a long-distance Facebook relationship, I think that option is out for now.
10. Work. Because if there were any eligible bachelors at my job, which there are not, as soon as they find out my situation I’m sure their first thought will be, “Great!!! This single working mom of three is going to have nothing but time for me! Let’s date!!!!”
Related post: 5 Things Men Should Know About Dating a Single Mom