There comes a moment in every mom’s life when she throws her hands in the air and says, “Fine! I’ll potty train this kid! I cannot change one more diaper!” This is also just about when she remembers that kids don’t come with a potty training switch you can flip, which is frankly a complete design flaw. There’s a reason it’s called potty training, and real talk: It’s going to probably suck for a while. And we gotta tell ya: It’s hella awkward too.
You Literally Have To Talk About Urine And Feces ALL. THE. TIME.
You thought you talked about poop and pee a lot when you were changing diapers? HAHAHAHA. With potty training, you have to start discussing it in crushingly awkward detail with your kid, pretty much everywhere you go. So even before you start potty training, you’ll find yourself saying, “See, honey? This is mommy peeing in the toilet. Just like you do in your diaper! But this way, the water washes it all away! Wait, don’t cry! The pee likes where it’s going!” See? AWKWARD.
You Have To Formally Introduce The Potty
You don’t have to get super fancy with your kid potty, but it does help to get one that’s fun and features favorite characters. Once you’ve got the potty, you have to arrange a formal introduction. So you march your kid into the bathroom and bow down with jazz hands as your kid “meets” the potty. This helps your kid get excited about the potty, but also because if you don’t, they’ll think it’s a really cool bowl and put food in it.
You Have To Explain A Completely Foreign Concept Called “Urges”
The awesome thing about having a diaper on all the time is your kid literally never has to think about how and why poop happens. So using words and gestures, you have to teach your kid that those lower belly sensations they are only dimly aware of are directly connected to their poop chute. But seriously, it’s important to try to do your best try to help your kid start figuring that out. We suggest starting with farts.
You Have To Develop A Sense Of Potty Trainee Fashion
Baby clothes that are designed to make changing a diaper easier are fabulous. Sadly, there’s not a “Potting Training” section at kids’ clothing stores, so you have to figure out which of your kid’s pants can be yanked down at warp speed so you actually get their naked butts on the toilet in time. In fact, just let them be naked all the time. It makes it so much easier.
You Have To Choreograph A Potty Dance
All the experts tell us that being enthusiastic about your kid’s bowel functions is the best way to get them excited about potty training. So you’ll create a “Potty Dance,” which is a delicate thing because of limiting factors like sharing a small space with a fragile child and the potty. You’ll end up looking much like a cheerleader having a small seizure, but it actually helps your kid, so it’s worth it.
You Have To Achieve Next Level Patience
If you thought your husband spent a long time in the bathroom, trust me, your toddler will be worse. You’ll read entire novels as you wait for your kid to poop on the potty — so always bring your phone or a book with you. You’ll also develop thighs of steel as you do long periods of crouch-squatting to keep the kid from leaving the potty halfway through a poo.
It Will Suck, But It’s Totally Worth It
Sure, potty training is hard, and it does pretty much suck. But, oh, when you get there? You’ll find new joy living a diaper-free life. You can grow your fingernails out again (well, only after you stop hearing, “MOMMY, WIPE ME”). Once you’re done with potty training, life and parenting become 60% more awesome.
Yes, there IS such a thing as a “proper” way to poop! With a sleek look that will blend into your home decor, the 2-in-1 Proper Position Potty from The First Years sets the stage for optimal potty posture. Designed to bring knees higher than hips, it helps relax key muscles to support easier pooping. When ready, transfer the detachable ring to your family toilet for a second stage of use.
Babies don’t come with an instruction manual, so parents need to think on their feet. For more than 60 years, The First Years family has been applying that same creative thinking to everything they do. Making helpful, innovative products for your parenting journey is what motivates them every day.