About 20% of pregnancies end in loss, but there’s not exactly a Hallmark card to honor that heartbreaking occasion. Sometimes you wan’t to say something other than “I’m sorry.” Something that acknowledges the unique heartbreak of experiencing a pregnancy loss.
Dr. Jessica Zucker is a psychologist and writer specializing in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health. She was in the field for years before experiencing her own miscarriage at 16 weeks. Her experience led her to write extensively on the topic and even launch the hashtag #IHadAMiscarriage to attempt to remove some of the stigma surrounding an experience that so many women have. It also led her to the idea to create pregnancy loss cards, to acknowledge those who are going through one.
Jessica says her goal with the cards is to provide an antidote to “I just don’t know what to say.”
Having been through several pregnancy losses I can honestly say that the silence is deafening. I totally get it — no one really knows what to say to you when you go through such a thing. But for me, it would have been nice to receive a card like this. And for those who have not been through such a thing and may not know the appropriate way to respond, the cards provide a way to open communication. They say, “I’m here.”
Thanks to women sharing their stories, the experience of pregnancy loss doesn’t have to be so isolating anymore. These cards are just another way to acknowledge the pain of loss, and the unique way it affects women and families who experience it. Everyone processes grief differently, but these cards send a very important message: you’re not alone. The experience of pregnancy loss deserves to be acknowledged: it’s heartbreaking, all-consuming, and awful. As someone who’s experienced it, something like this would comfort me. And as someone who has had many friends in the same boat, this would provide a very non-invasive way of saying, “I love you. I’m acknowledging what happened to you. I’m here if you want to talk.”