30 Seconds In My Head After Finding Out I'm Pregnant With Number Three

by Holly Rust
Originally Published: 
A woman holding a positive pregnancy test in her hands

Surprise! I’m pregnant with my third child. There, I said it out loud. Now it’s real. My husband and I weren’t planning on a third, but had not yet ruled it out. I, still on the fence, was not ready to close down the baby shop. He, however, was ready the minute our second son was born. To say this comes as a complete shock is a bit of an understatement.

A few weeks ago I found myself pacing in a Walmart restroom waiting for the results of a pregnancy test (no judging, it was the closest place to work). What were probably just a few minutes felt like a few hours, and when the little lines finally appeared – I was paralyzed. How did this happen? Okay, I know how it happened. But still – how did this happen?

Over the next thirty seconds, my brain went into overdrive. Sheer panic. Here were some of those thoughts:

Look at it again. It’s wrong.

Look at the instructions.

This can’t be right.

What does a smiley face even mean, anyway?


How did this happen?

Did I take my pill?

My husband can’t control himself!

I’m still losing baby number two weight!

What if it’s another boy?

Can I handle three boys?

I need a new car!

Three car seats!

Can we afford vacations?

Party of five!?


No more guest room.

How far along am I?

Shit, I just had that girls weekend and drank a lot!

I need another job.

Husband needs another job.

Husband is going to freak out!

Two in diapers!

What if it’s a girl?


I definitely need another job.

Wait…. I’m still in a bathroom at Walmart.

I should call my husband.

Pull yourself together.

You’re pregnant.

I’m pregnant.

I can do this.

Once I ended my conversation with myself, I felt my hand naturally cup my belly – and I smiled. Here we go again, but this time as a party of five. God help me.

Related post: 7 Differences Between Your First and Second Pregnancies

This article was originally published on