Preschool has been one of the best things that ever happened to my son. He gets to be around other kids his age and socializing, plus he’s learning in a way that I can’t teach him. As a mom who works from home, I get him out of my hair for a few hours and can go grocery shopping without someone asking me for popsicles. For working parents, preschool is a necessity in many ways.
There is one gripe many of us parents have about preschool though…pickup.
When it’s time to get our little ones, we really just want to grab them and head home. There are things that need to be done: dinner has to get started, older siblings may have activities to get to, traffic may be a total pain in the ass.
Yet for some reason, picking up your kid from preschool can be hell on earth. Here are just a few of the possible reasons for the preschool pickup shitshow:
1. The process of signing out
Trying to wrangle a kid into a jacket and backpack, making sure they have everything, and then having to also stop to sign them out? It’s just one more thing to remember, while we try to stop our kid from climbing the walls.
2. Parents who arrive ridiculously early to be first in line
It’s great that you have time to be early, but getting to the school anything more than 10 minutes early is excessive. You’re literally just standing around for no reason. No, thank you.
3. Parents who cut in line
Don’t be a dick. Whether it be in the car line or just standing in line, cutting is rude as fuck and super annoying. We see what you’re doing, and we’re totally judging you for it.
4. Parents who see you struggling, and do nothing
If you’re trying to wrangle a younger sibling, or the 75 art projects you just got handed, your hands are full. The least someone can do is keep your kid from booking it out the front door while you’re still working through the endless sign-out process.
5. Parents who want to have a conference about their kid’s day while the rest of us are waiting
No one is saying you can’t ask about how little Timmy’s day was, but can you do it once you’ve gotten outside? If you have questions for the teacher, maybe set up time to talk to them when there aren’t 20 other parents waiting to check their kids out.
6. Other moms who take the pregnant mom parking spot
There are designated parking spaces for a reason. If there’s a place designated for pregnant moms and you know you’re not pregnant, park somewhere else. Again, don’t be a dick.
7. Parents who drive like maniacs in the parking lot
Hello, it’s full of small people who you can’t see. Of course, we all teach our kids proper parking lot etiquette, but hello, they’re preschoolers, they don’t always listen. Speeding, especially in a parking lot full of potential runners, is just a bad idea.
8. Feeling obligated to put on “real” clothes to pick our kid up
When you’re a parent who is home while your kid is at school, there are certain levels of comfort you may enjoy. Having to peel off the llama pajama pants and put on a real bra can be a lot of work. But we don’t enjoy looks from the put together parents.
9. Guilt trips about not volunteering
Look, some parents can’t volunteer for things like class parent or come to in-class events because of work. And sometimes those of us who could in theory volunteer can’t because of younger siblings or other obligations. Or maybe we just don’t want to. That’s our choice, and we shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.
10. Distracting the kids through the windows
Yes, it’s cute to see them doing their work or playing, but staring at them like they’re puppies in a window is so fucking annoying. Because once they spot you, they get wild and then it takes the teacher even longer to get them settled down to leave.
Really, what it boils down to is this: when it comes to picking up your kid from preschool, don’t be a dick. We all have the same end game here: grabbing our kids and getting them home as quickly as possible. So if we could all work together to make that happen, then we’d all be a lot happier wouldn’t we?