As parents we must talk about race. And when we do, let’s cancel these three phrases.
For starters, anyone with kids has likely read numerous books to them about colors, recognizing colors, learning the differences between one color from another. Learning blue from purple is a milestone. Now, why would suddenly skin color be something to ignore in conversations with our kids? The “I don’t see color” phrase is officially cancelled. We do see color. To ignore it is to ignore the differences in experiences racial groups face in a society with implicit bias – that’s a big word for holding bias without realizing you do. We have been socialized to hold biases toward some groups over others. These biases influence the way we act and the choices we make in a variety of situations. In fact, there is a free online test you can take to prove the bias that you hold.
And while we are cancelling phrases can we please stop with the “All Lives Matter” rhetoric? To break down why this is a problem in the terminology of several memes going around – if your house is on fire, the fire department does not come and hose down the entire neighborhood because “all houses matter.” Nope.
The phrase Black Lives Matter does not imply that other lives don’t matter. Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. Karen, Amy, Becky can you hear me? Apologies in advance if one of those is actually your real name. 2020 must have been rough. But now is the time to call all the other Karens and Amys you know and have uncomfortable, courageous conversations about race. The house is on fire moms, and we need to do something. To not act is fanning the flames.
And the final one to cancel forever is “I’m not racist so I’m not the problem.” So here’s the thing, sitting by silently doing nothing makes you part of the problem. If you are not racist, you must work to be actively “anti-racist”. Read, research, follow other thought leaders doing the work. But please don’t call your white friends and give them the load of doing your work too.
Moms know how to get shit done. This one’s going to take all of us to get even close. Let’s start today.
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