Raising a Transgender Child: When George Became Jessie

Two years ago, my nine year old son tearfully shared with me that “his whole life, he had wanted to be a girl”. Pressed by the therapist (who, thank God, was in the room with us) to clarify whether he wants to be a girl or is a girl, George immediately replied that he is a girl. And so began a crazy-ass adventure of raising a transgendered child that I never, in a million years, expected to find my child or, frankly, myself, on.

To be clear, my husband Rich and I always knew that George (who is now Jessie) was different from not only our older son, but from other kids – male and female alike.

With sparkling eyes and a wildly observant and funny personality, he was known by everyone everywhere we went. Never one to shy away from a conversation or situation (particularly if it involved dolls, dresses, wigs or mermaid tails) he captured the attention of anyone he came into contact with. When behaviors that concerned us in preschool and kindergarten – including, but by no means limited to his self portraits (a frequent drawing assignment) consistently depicting a girl in a dress with long, flowing hair – continued with even greater vigor in first-, second- and third-grades we concluded that he was probably going to grow up to be gay, yet didn’t quite buy it ourselves. He was a boy who greatly appreciated a beautiful girl and what she was wearing. He never met a doll, wig, dress or mermaid tail that he didn’t feel a total compulsion to own – no matter how strongly he had to fight for it. And despite the fact that he was not even slightly effeminate, there were several occasions that he harassed and harangued me for hours on end requesting everything from hair extensions to wigs to dolls. It never added up. And then he asked for (and by “asked for” I mean “demanded”) a pierced ear.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below


Our initial reaction to the earring request was that “little boys don’t wear earrings”, but he was having none of it. As he obsessively pursued this request it became increasingly clear that it was not a desire, but a need. Since growing out his traditional little boy haircut was going to take some serious time (we had agreed to allow him to grow his hair – anything to stop hearing about hair extensions or wigs) a single pierced ear seemed an easy enough allowance in hopes of placating him. Of significant note was, just prior (and I mean as the alcohol was being rubbed across his lobe) to the piercing, he implored the piercer to be sure to do it in the ear that doesn’t mean “gay”…clearly he was building up the courage to tell us something, we just didn’t know it yet.

It was not long after the newly pierced ear that our confusion was put to rest and we were told of George’s truth. It took me about a minute and a half to absorb what he was saying and to give myself a virtual whack upside the head. It all started to make sense now, except for the part when I told myself that this happens to other families – not mine. Wrong.

We continued along with our “if-it-was-ever-normal-it-isn’t-now” lives for a few weeks, noticing a huge change in our child’s mood and temperament. Clearly an enormous weight had been lifted and a skin had been shed. And then there came what we refer to as “the article”. It was a Sunday in December which also happened to be George’s tenth birthday. On the front page of “The Boston Globe” there was an article about identical twin boys, one of whom had identified as transgender and was now living fully as a girl. I, not surprisingly, was raptly reading the story when George came up behind me, noticed the photo and asked who they were. Upon telling him he responded, with his mouth agape, “You mean I’m not the only one?” It was at that moment that Jessie was born, moved in and has since made herself comfortable in my house.

The following day, I dropped George off at school and told him to be cool; we would come up with a plan. He was cool. Until 11 a.m. (not bad considering the school day starts at 8 a.m.) when he simply could not keep the truth to himself and, without fanfare or drama, told one of his teachers about his “secret”. The cat, ladies and gentlemen, was out of the bag.

The next day, as it happened, was pajama day and, after a hasty, late night trip to Target, I successfully outfitted my “son” in head-to-toe pink, purple and green polka dotted pajamas in which he ran (not walked) into school with zero hesitation and without so much as a glance over his shoulder for support. Jessie had been waiting her whole life for this day. I almost wonder if that was why she felt the need to share when she did…just to ensure the perfect little girl pajama ensemble for what will likely (hopefully) be her last school sanctioned pajama day ever.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below


Since those first crazy days, we have had her second ear pierced and have had countless meetings, discussions, questions, plans and concerns hurled in our direction. At times we have laid low: mostly at the beginning when we were nearly immobilized by the mere thought of what it meant to have a transgender child. Other times we have been “out there”: when, for example, we announced on Facebook (with her encouragement) “George becoming Jessie”, complete with a photo of her in her inaugural dress. This was a means of survival for us and done mainly so that we weren’t forced to explain the situation to everyone, everywhere, every time we left the house. But no matter how people learned of Jessie having identified as transgender, the response has been consistent: total acceptance with a healthy and appropriate dose of trepidation: both for us and, frankly, themselves.

If only every family like ours could be so lucky.

Related post: The Princess and The Gender Role

About the writer

Julie has been married for over 21 years to her high school sweetheart Rich. Together, they are doing their best to raise two kids - Harrison who is 17 and perhaps the nicest guy they know and Jessie who, until her 10th birthday, was George. Read more at George.Jessie.Love.

From Around the Web

Close

Lisa 7 months ago

I am inspired by your story. Although hearing my moms words my entire life “never say never Bc u don’t know what life will throw your way” I have a gay sis, a bi sis, & then me & another sis who’s straight & with kids. Were all supportive and I’m proud of the 2 for being theirselves! but I still can’t imagine my 3 & 5 yr olds being gay or transgender, anything other than “traditional” (I guess is the word..) If that does come my way I hope that my fam is open enough to allow such things to be told! And I pray I would handle the situation as gracefully as you have done!

Mary 8 months ago

I have no experience with transgendered children, but I do with mental health. I know you and your husband are happy for Jessie, but take a little time to mourn for George. Not for your child but for your 10 years of dreams & plans – you know – the ones in our head – his life – his wedding – his family. Once you grieve for the child you lost (that was only in your mind all along) you can hurry up & start your plans & dreaming about the one you have. This advice helped me after I lost one baby out of my twin set. People told me not to be upset etc you have a beautiful baby – blah blah – but all I could think about was what I lost. My grandma told me until I grieved what I lost, I couldn’t wholeheartedly start dreaming for what I had:)

Angela Garson 8 months ago

You could not be more wrong. Being transgender is not a choice, nor is it a compulsion of some sort. A transgender individual no more chooses their gender identity than you did. If you can’t understand that then tell me, please, when you decided on your gender identity. A transgender person is born as a transgender person.

Angela Garson 8 months ago

Beautiful article! How lucky you are to have such a funny, brave, creative child! Jessie picked the right parents.

Lori 8 months ago

Praise be to parents who listen and love their children, which you obviously do. It’s not an easy road, but nothing worthwhile comes easy. You are amazing! Oh, and if you haven’t already, browse on over to Raising My Rainbow!

Desire May 8 months ago

Leviticus 22:10- “Now a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife should be put to death without fail, the adulterer and adulteress as well”…I don’t see many people calling for the death of cheaters…don’t pick and choose Leviticus, we all know there are many scriptures that are no longer applicable…unless you also want to be flagged as “unclean” for a day after every time you masturbate…

Cassandra Bitner 8 months ago

*facepalm* omg.

Christine Cook 8 months ago

Thank you for keeping your child safe… we need more open minded parents out there

Toni Glenn 8 months ago

Love this

Maeve Rhuad 8 months ago

Glad to see there are others who object to the caption as much as I do

Anonymous 8 months ago

I VERY STRONGLY disagree, for the exact same reasons that pedophilia is illegal: because we in the west have a very strong belief that children under a certain age are simply too young to truly understand sexuality, and to make responsible decisions in that area. If a six year old girl is too young and irresponsible to marry, then why on earth would you think that a six year old boy understands the concept of changing gender? Ridiculous. I’m not sorry for any offense. This needed to be said.

Liane Giard 8 months ago

Love it. I have 3 girls and I pray I am as open to change if needed.

Nikole Dalton Dupont 8 months ago

I’ll be damned before i let my little girl parade around like a boy.

Lisa Perry 8 months ago

I absolutely hate the horribly judgmental Scary Mommy lead-in for this share. Despite this, I read the story, all pissed off and ready to feel judged as a parent because realistically – let’s be honest – how many soon-to-be parents find themselves in the maternity ward counting minutes between contractions all ready and waiting to raise a LGBT child? I certainly wasn’t prepared for many of the parenting challenges that have come up in my 7 wonderful years of being a parent. So I read the article surprised to find that the subject parents don’t have a clue how to raise a LGBT child. And, it’s a GREAT article. However, I am left to wonder why Scary Mommy shared it with such judgment. Does Scary Mommy think this unprepared yet seemingly kind family shouldn’t have become parents in the first place?

Pebble Savary 8 months ago

Looking at older post and debating if I still want to like this page. This issue has gotten way out of hand.

Kellie 8 months ago

This totally made me tear up. What a beautiful love story.

Bev 8 months ago

Your story made me tear up. Jessie is so lucky to have such loving, supportive parents and as a family I am so happy to hear what a supportive community you have. As you said I wish all families could be as lucky as yours.

Sarah Carroll 8 months ago

If you believe that being transgender is wrong, let me as you one thing: are you honestly willing to let your child suffer and die to prove your point? You might think they are selfish for being who they are, but a parent like that is the ultimate failure.

Jessica Marsh-Oosterlinck 8 months ago

My biggest fear and first thought would be that my child is now subject to the cruelty of closed minds and harsh, judgmental opinions of people who can’t be bothered to mind their own damn business. We’ll skim over divorce, adultery, lying, envy, gluttony, judging, turning a blind eye to the poor, etc; but that tax paying gay couple with the steady income and adopted children that they offer their own unconditional love to? That’s the enemy? Please. Maybe pay attention to the shit God wrote in stone and not cherry pick the verses that have nothing to do with you.

Naomi Michelini 8 months ago

Sorry, but no. Never will I intentionally buy girls clothes for my son. Can he dress up with his sisters at home, and play? Yes. Can he play with barbies and dolls? Absolutely. Can he grow his hair long, replace his entire wardrobe and demand to be called something different after his father and I spend 9 long months picking his name? Hell no. If he wants to do that when he’s an adult, and has the brain development necessary to make a life altering decision, then he will have our full support. But a CHILD cannot make such big decision with even bigger consequences.

Raina Matherly 8 months ago

Why in blue hell does it even matter?? They are still your child.

Rebecca Best Humphrey 8 months ago

Love unconditionally!

Susie Murray Mints 8 months ago

Gender is a sociological construction… Only one sex can give birth and one sex is taller and a bit stronger than the other, but every other difference is made up by society

Laurie 8 months ago

What a wonderful amazing story! To have a child with such self-knowledge and confidence, especially at that age is truly extraordinary. All the best to you and all your family.

Corrine Actipis 8 months ago

I think it’s a parent’s job to raise your child to be what they’re meant to be. Their purpose may not be your ideal. They count on you for support, no matter what. Kudos to this mommy!

Michael Jacob Luck 8 months ago

It’s just a technicality Brittany. Going into Parenthood, you should accept that fact that you’re raising a person who will have their own problems and realizing that you need to be there FOR them and ACCEPT them for who they are and be willing to help them through it. How can we ever expect anyone to accept us for our differences if we don’t accept our own children for theirs? How can we ever hope to gain support from our friends and family if we don’t support our own? Plain and simple, if you can’t accept who your child is, you ARE a bad parent. So go ahead and disagree with a technicality. You missed the point.

Caroline Miller 8 months ago

How about instead of worrying about gay/lesbian/trans gender – just raise your child with morals, character and respect for others

Betty 8 months ago

Thank you for loving your child, not your “son” or “daughter.” I am presently saddened at a local family who was not supportive and the world lost their child forever. I don’t know how I could help my child through this, but I would find a way and offer my love and acceptance.

Amanda 8 months ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your family’s amazing story. Y’all have handled what could be a tough situation with grace and I am inspired. Way to go, Mama!

Angela 8 months ago

I wonder how different things would be if we weren’t so adamant about certain things that boys/girls can/’t do. I don’t claim to know much (anything) about trans issues beyond what I’ve read on sites like this, Huffpost, etc., but if we stopped saying, “Boys don’t wear earrings” and “only girls have long hair”, would we have children tearfully telling their parents that they were the other gender?

Angela Roberge 8 months ago

I wonder how different things would be if we weren’t so adamant about certain things that boys/girls can/’t do. I don’t claim to know much (anything) about trans issues beyond what I’ve read on sites like this, Huffpost, etc., but if we stopped saying, “Boys don’t wear earrings” and “only girls have long hair”, would we have children tearfully telling their parents that they were the other gender?

Morgan Mattson 8 months ago

This is a highly debatable subject. My husband and I got into it the other day as I brought up Jolie-Pitts child….he finds it is wrong for parents to allow this behavior and I find it amazing. I think gay/lesbian is different than transgender. I know people who are transgender, I accept it. It is something that will take time for others to wrap their heads around, it doesn’t make them bad people or parents…it is different and most humans have a hard time dealing with change. I think the title of the post is a bit harsh…

Anna Moore 8 months ago

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing. Jessie and Harrison are blessed to have you

Colleen Williams 8 months ago

Oh this is the best story. Thank you for sharing. If only more transgender kids had this kind of loving support. Let’s hope with more and more stories shared like this beautiful one, more and more people (parents and kids) will find the support and courage to let go of fear.

Toni Lynette Villademoros-Adwell 8 months ago

I think the point of the caption is that parents shouldn’t go into parenthood expecting their children to fit their ideals; placing them in a box of specific expectations. Encourage your children to be who they are, guide them in certain situations, absolutely, but don’t try to go against the grain of their personalities, sexual orientations, and so on. Talk with them, discover their opinions on subjects, their reasoning, and do your best to realize they are people too, just smaller. This isn’t about getting your kid to realize that eating vegetables really is good for them, it’s about accepting them for who they are, no matter what *your* personal preferences or opinions are. We’re allowed to have diversity in our world without condemning it–even if that diversity is within our own household.

Robert Keen 8 months ago

You don’t have to agree with it or even like it cause not everyone agrees or likes everything you do but you have to treat them with respect and if it’s your child you have to love them unconditionally.

Jennifer Moore 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even prepared to get up 15 times in one night for eight months straight. How dare I become a parent!

Karen Orr Segovia 8 months ago

I think you could replace “gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender” with just about anything… Or nothing at all really. It all boils down the same.
If you aren’t prepared to raise a (…) child, perhaps you shouldn’t have become a parent in the first place.

Alix Abel 8 months ago

Love love LOVE!!! Parenting done right!

Kylie 8 months ago

Aw, this makes me cry. You and Jessie have a long road ahead of you; it’s wonderful you’re traveling it together. My young son has “girl days” and it remains to be discovered whether or not he’s transgender or just enjoys trying different identities, but it gives me great joy to hear that there are more and more families who are supporting and helping our children expand into whoever it is they really are.

Erika Rorvick Jenkins 8 months ago

What a sweet child!

Ellen McCusker Botello 8 months ago

Love is love

Kaitlyn Rosa 8 months ago

I love my child. I will always love my child, and if he chooses to love a man when he is old enough to understand what that is, then I will still love him, because I am his mother and he is still my son, no matter what. All I want is for my son to be happy, and if that means that he is gay, then so be it. After all, I’d rather have a happy gay son, then one that couldn’t take the pain of the parents refusal to accept them so they committed suicide.

Angie Maragno 8 months ago

Like I tell my year and a half old son every day:

I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My doodlebug you’ll be

JuAune C Thompson 8 months ago

Perfect caption. Don’t become a parent if you can’t handle the possibility of a Gay, Bi or Trans child.

Jewell Nettles 8 months ago

Amen sister!!!!!!!!! (Happy NEW YEAR to everyone from a balmy fifty to a minus two) everyone stay warm and cozy lol.

Lori Rose Yurtin 8 months ago

Agreed!

Amanda Murphey 8 months ago

Typical… let’s dissect the words used in this article and nit pick on the definitions. Let’s start with prepared. Yes, prepared may have been the wrong choice of word, but we’re all adults here right? Prepared in this sense seems not to imply that parents should have the skills and emotional restraint needed to handle the situation with precision and perfection. What it says to me, is that parents should preemptively acknowledge and accept that their unborn child may turn out to be gay, heterosexual, transexual, bisexual, or whatever other sexual is out there. This article was not addressing other outside the norm situations that may arise. Murderers and pedophiles were not part of the discussion. I agree completely with the statement, and I’ll tell you why.

I am the proud parent of a three year old little girl. She is the light of my life, and will continue to be for the rest of my life. Whatever choices she makes in this world, I am PREPARED to be there for her, with all the love a mother can hold, and offer it to her for as long as I am in this world. I may not be prepared to handle the the specific situations that enevitably arise with parenthood, but I can guarantee you that I am fully prepared to love my child unconditionally regardless of their choices in this world. Even if I disagree with them. Period.

Shannon Gorman Cornwell 8 months ago

Yep. I am going to call you out on it. I know exactly how I would react. It’s not a choice. And to call it one is DAMAGING to many.

Kristen Bothe 8 months ago

I wasn’t prepared for my child’s first blow out diaper, but I adapted. Obviously, that is a lot different than having a LBGT child, but I’m just making a point. People are not usually prepared for every aspect of parenting when they become parents . That’s life. Geez, the caption above this is just plain wrong.

Lindsey Clark 8 months ago

I didn’t. But religion is why these moms can’t accept their child’s choice to be gay.

Andrew Bavaro 8 months ago

I can’t say I’d be comfortable and it would take a fair amount of time to come to terms with it. I’ve always gone along with the thought I don’t hate people who fit into that criteria I just don’t want my kids to fall into it. If it does so be it but hopefully not

Kate Love 8 months ago

Thank you for speaking out on behalf of transgender youth. My own transgender teen has given me consent to speak about things on FB and places like here but has asked me not to make a blog post about this situation. As a writer it is hard, but as a mother it’s the right thing to do and so I stay nearly completely silent.

This week has been so incredibly painful. Leelah’s timeline is identical to my daughter. The idea that my own daughter coming out at 14 meant she could finally begin living authentically but for Leelah it meant she began to be tormented by her ignorant, fearful, and small minded parents … This idea just hurts deep in my chest.

It isn’t right that the level of help and support these kids gets is based solely on the randomness of what type of parents they are born to.

I’m hoping this spurs on real legal changes that protect these kids.

Thank you for writing this.

Jaime Holmes 8 months ago

Thank you everyone

Joshua Faulk 8 months ago

DerekandJacklin, the Bible argument is a tired one, because people pick and choose what they want to take literally, while the rest is cast aside as Old Testament irrelevance. The Bible cannot be taken literally in our society, because we are an entirely different time period. We have and do things they could not have foreseen.

However, if you choose to look directly at the Bible, I’ll direct you to 1 Timothy 2:11-15, which quite LITERALLY states that NO WOMAN SHALL HOLD AUTHORITY OVER MEN and that women are only saved through childbirth. If we are going to live as though the Bible is law, you have no voice and are to remain submissive and without opinion. Should we accept that little nugget which enlists women into second class citizenship without thoughts or ideas, simply ceased with a good ol’ “Quiet, the men are talking”?

Sarah Koebler 8 months ago

I never said not love. But preparing for homosexuality is not seamless for everyone, and they have to work at it. Doesn’t make them bad parents, makes them human. Period. No one will change my mind. That’s how I feel.

Pamela Grace Price 8 months ago

That’s the best damn response yet.

Michelle Garrett Ranous 8 months ago

A parents love must be unconditional. I think that is the only kind of truly unconditional love there is/should be.

Tammi Moser Bolender 8 months ago

For the parents who say “not my child, not under my roof, etc.” Would you not allow your child to be Autistic, would you disown, would you harm or would you hate your child because they had Autism? Being gay is no different, it is a difference in the brain that you are born with, this has been proven by science. If you can’t love your child for who they are, how they are, how they were born, how you and God created them, no you should not be a parent, your love is conditional.

Jordan Drake-Wagner 8 months ago

These comments are making me sick. Love you kids. Teach them to respect themselves and the RIGHT person will come along and respect them too. Black white Gay straight yellow purple. Jeez ppl can be so judgemental and kids don’t need to see your negative ass

Jordan Drake-Wagner 8 months ago

So telling you kid “no you can’t feel the way you feel” is ok. And kids don’t just show off their homosexuality brazenly. You wouldn’t let you 10 yr old straight son start kissing girls. Same goes for gay boys. You teach them to respect themselves and make choices so eventually the right person will come along and respect them too.

Roanna Krishell Hall 8 months ago

Parenting is the hardest and most important job in the world. It is not supposed to be easy as nothing that rewarding EVER is. There are so many things that can cause issues but having a LGTB child shouldn’t be one of them. Acceptance, love, protection, and guidance….. its your job as a parent to
provide that for your child.

Melissa Prucha LaPorta 8 months ago

OMG really? You’re going to criticize my use of the word “choice?!” Sheesh. Let me tell ya, whether it’s a choice or not, as a parent you aren’t prepared for any of it. You just hope you react in a way that is positive and loving.

Cameo Harmon 8 months ago

Everything, (and proven here) boils down to wanting to be RIGHT. Instead of fighting with one another, and fighting with our children, and fighting with random ppl on the internet, how about we show love and respect TO ALL. We never have to agree with anyone’s decision, but being a decent human being starts with loving one another. That same love we all want. LET IT BEGIN WITH ME…

Peter Rufo 8 months ago

Ya but Brittany in order to adapt you need to have an open mind and tons of love. You can’t adapt to anything without it. I think that’s the point that this post is making!

Shannon Gorman Cornwell 8 months ago

And first, it may be important to know it’s not a “choice”.

Lacey Murphy 8 months ago

Exactly!

Melanie Connors Irwin 8 months ago

There’s lots of religious people out there fighting for the rights of the LGBT community. Please don’t lump us all into one fanatic group 😉

BrandiKyle Overmyer 8 months ago

Lol that’s my husband’s response to us thinking our youngest daughter is gay. He said one less boyfriend he has to scare!

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Jake borill do your research hunny. Physically yes she was a man mentally no she wasn’t. That hole has been filled and she is a complete person I have never seen her more happy than I have in recent years. You do realize in order to get a sex change you need three signatures from mental health specialists and have to be in counselling for a minimum of one year. It is a very intense year when you start going through the change…. If it was just a mental problem they would know it… They actually know what causes it now it’s not all in their head as you would like to think….

Melanie Connors Irwin 8 months ago

How do you know God didn’t make LGBT kids/people to test your judgments….The bible says to love your neighbor…it doesn’t specify which neighbors, just to love!!

Melissa Prucha LaPorta 8 months ago

Ok who is ever “prepared” to raise a gay, lesbian, bi, trans or heterosexual child?? As a parent you can’t choose you child’s life so there’s no way to prepare for these things. So you can’t blame anyone for being caught off guard for their child’s choices, the only the we as parents can control is how we react to their choices.

Heather Wright 8 months ago

I knew that was coming. Choices are choices. Not every parent agrees with their child’s choice. I don’t agree with my spouse always. You love them regardless. Love is not always saying yes.

Rosie Abbott 8 months ago

This article is just too over PC in my opinion. They are talking about this child being 9/10 sexuality shouldnt even be brought into it. Yes you have a rough idea of what you go for but you dont really know until you are much older. If the child wants to dress up and be called a girls name then thats fine by me. But getting counsellors, everybody and their dog involved, declaring it on facebook is just making it a big deal and adding more pressure onto the child and makes it out to be a really big issue when it really is not…

Lacey Murphy 8 months ago

I would support my children no matter what their orientation is. However I do not agree with the title of this article. Their are many parenting situations you may find your self in that you’re not prepared for. It doesn’t mean that you just shouldn’t be a parent. It means you find the strength, grace and courage to grow and learn.

Nichole Lewis 8 months ago

#parentingwin

Shannon Blosser 8 months ago

Wow I think it’s a little nuts that you’re comparing being homosexual to being a murderer. Hmmm

Katy Burkhart 8 months ago

Amen.

brandi 8 months ago

thank you for sharing this. it couldn’t have come at a better time! my youngest daughter will be 6in two weeks. for the past two years she has become more of a tomboy. wanting to shave her head…we wouldn’t allow it. asking for boy toys for Christmas and birthdays. stealing her boy cousin’s clothes that is only 3 months older. Layla also told us that she’s going to change her name to Larry when she grows up and drive a blue tow truck. I’m fairly certain she’s gay. My cousin told me she was around her age when she knew. And that’s more than ok if my Layla is. we finally allowed her to get her hair cut. She has a fohawk. I mostly don’t know how to deal with the rude children at her school and in the neighborhood. your post is an amazing inspiration. thank you again!

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

Well, if someone isn’t willing to love their children unconditionally, then they shouldn’t be parents. Period

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

If you’re not supporting them, you’re not loving them unconditionally. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, etc is NOT a choice. If you can’t accept that about your children, don’t have kids. It’s not like drugs, which are a choice, and certainly something that not supporting isn’t a bad thing. But to not support them in their sexuality or gender is abhorrent.

Amra Chudleigh-Neal 8 months ago

The fact that there are still people claiming that LGTB is a choice scares me so much for our society and our future. And our children.

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

Cram your Bible where the sun doesn’t shine

Amra Chudleigh-Neal 8 months ago

I agree with that statement, 100%

Alisha N Junior 8 months ago

Kinda scared to speak out about my opinion on this. But I will say every parent loves their children regardless.. but some just don’t know how to react to things until they come… and all of us are guilty of not always doing everything right…

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

If my children are trans, I want the privilege of renaming them as well

Traci Casallas 8 months ago

Completely disagree with that caption. Most people aren’t even prepared to raise a child. You can read every book, watch every video. That doesn’t mean you are prepared when your LO finally gets here. Sure, you probably have a better idea. To say you shouldn’t have become a parent if you aren’t prepared to raise a LGBT child is bullshit.

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

How narrowminded

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

Because, Chessica, if parents aren’t prepared to love their kids unconditionally, no matter what, they don’t need to be parents. Love your name, btw. It’s unique.

Jessica Pickett 8 months ago

Just because I love my kids no matter what does not mean I have to agree with their life style if that is how it played out.

Misty Unrau 8 months ago

Im a Christian. I have 5 kids. I almost expect atleast one of them to come out as gay one day. I will love them and support them whoever they are. Im a parent first and foremost and as far as im concerned, there is nothing wrong with being gay or transgendered. Love is love and I can only hope my kids find someone to love them for the wonderful people they are.

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

It’s not a fucking choice

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

So, Julie, my sexuality is a choice? I challenge you to become attracted to women, then.

Anthony D’Atri 8 months ago

There is no life alteration here. An 8 year old is not going to circumvent the extensive system of counseling and time we have in the US by hopping a jet to Thailand for elective SRS.

Sara 8 months ago

Perhaps you should learn more about the condition before making such judgements. Transgender people are different from birth. They come from all countries, all types of families, and they’ve been around for a very long time. Media exposure is making the condition more socially acceptable – not causing it.

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

This world needs more parents like you

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

Emily, if a person can’t bring themselves to love their children UNCONDITIONALLY, then they don’t need to have kids.

Anthony D’Atri 8 months ago

Little a kid died at this age is binding or permanent. Better that someone work through dysphoria when they’re young and resilient than to be haunted and unsettled for decades. If it isn’t right for a given kid, he/she will figure it out and switch roles.

Which brings us to the whole question of what gender is anyway. We have two of them that we typically think in terms of, but when you really think about it — which is something that almost nobody cares enough to do — how many of the attributes we use to define those roles aren’t wholly arbitrary?

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

The caption is wrong. It should read, “If you’re not prepared to love your children unconditionally, regardless of their choices, or the things they don’t choose but can’t help, don’t become a parent”

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

My father doesn’t agree with the fact that I’m bisexual. However, he loves me regardless

Amanda Mirambell-Grice 8 months ago

If you’re not prepared to love your kids unconditionally, don’t have kids. Point blank

Sara 8 months ago

Another beautiful child blessed with amazing parents. I’m so happy for you all. :)

Nicholas Durkiewicz 8 months ago

Is this because someone thought sawyer was a boy

Sara 8 months ago

This brought tears to my eyes. What loving, incredible parents. I wish every child in the world to be so blessed.

Audrey Price 8 months ago

Perhaps they shouldn’t become a parent in the first place? Omg. As a parents you never expect your child to be different like that. And this didn’t use to be an issue 20 years ago.

Anthony D’Atri 8 months ago

You’re reading too much into the narrow definition of “prepared” you hold, which is not the same one that the rest of us use.

Karlena Wolhart 8 months ago

I see you’re not a fan of science.

Jenifer Spock-Rank 8 months ago

I don’t care if my kids want to date an purple person from Venus or, hell, become a purple person from Venus. As long as they care about others and are good people (preferably with proper grammar and spelling skills) I don’t care one bit.

Michelle Baker 8 months ago

You can but your doing a disserves to your child, this is why people, especially young people are leaving god and religion behind. Because people like you use religion and beliefs to give justice to your hate and bigotry.

Mary Elborne Wehner 8 months ago

Very well said!

Emily 8 months ago

It started for us in May when The Child Formerly Known as Patrick wore nail polish to school and it turned into a big to do. It was time to ask questions. One of those was, would you like a dress. With head hung down, she muttered, “yes.” I took us out right then. She gleefully ran around the dresses at our local thrift store (new wasn’t in the budget) looking at all of the choice. She put it on and the happiness was clear.

I don’t say that Claire is transitioning, I describe it as her metamorphosis. It’s been amazing and beautiful to watch her grow and change and to see her become more comfortable with herself.

Cindy Robertson- Allen 8 months ago

I would still love my children whether they are gay or not. I am most certainly not going to entertain the idea by letting them dress or act any way they please. All kids go through phases in their life. Its up to us to guide them in the way they should go.

George Russell 8 months ago

A normal parent usually has unconditional love for their children.

Jessica Hoff 8 months ago

Let them explore their feelings. Allow them to grow and learn who they are. We all go through phases. If you accept who they are, they will either move on to some other focus, or they will accept that they are LBQT, etc. Providing resistance and turning your back on them is not going to make your child feel loved. Yes, you’ve birthed this child, but it’s their life to live…regardless of your expectations.

Anna Kathe Wilson 8 months ago

Ohh I like that. Excellent. Well put!

Anna Kathe Wilson 8 months ago

Yes!!!! Exactly!

Jeni Dawson-Vandersluis 8 months ago

I believe I am a wonderful parent, my beliefs on this matter I will keep to myself but I in No Way believe this makes a person a bad parent!!

Amity A Nash Barboza 8 months ago

Awesome!

Beth @Goodness Gracious Living 8 months ago

Amazing story! You are wonderful parents and Jessie was lucky to come into your lives! Everyone should react like this when a child realizes who they are. Thank you for sharing :-)

Amber King 8 months ago

It is transgender or trans*, not transgendered.

Maria Helena 8 months ago

Lol!!!

Tiffany Cupp Seavy 8 months ago

Heather Stewart, ” why don’t they like me” is a very common phrase. It has nothing to do with being different! It’s just human. You cannot possibly like everyone all the time. Sometimes that gay/genius/minority/ ill/ popular/normal person is just a little jerk and you shouldn’t HAVE to like everyone. It’s freedom. We have a right to surround ourselves with who we want. Don’t force your kid to spend time with someone because YOU feel bad for them. Yeah, teach them to be polite and respectful to ALL people but it goes both ways. Don’t treat anyone better than others.

Morgan Le 8 months ago

transgender*

Ramona 8 months ago

That would make him your nephew :)

Denise Lacy 8 months ago

The thing I don’t get is how people get do adamantly opposed to lifestyles that they themselves reject. How someone else lives their lives isn’t up to you. Even if it is your kid. Your job is to love and support them, not decide who they are. People’s sexuality is none of your damn business. Who cares if you don’t “approve”.

Ramona 8 months ago

Thanks so much for sharing your (and your son’s) story! Makes my heart happy to see :)

Michelle Frittitta Adams 8 months ago

I see 2015 is starting to look exactly like 2014. For Pete sake, he’s nine years old! “Not the gay earlobe.” Where did he get that info? Children are innocent. It strikes me that the parents’ unconditional support stems from knowing they’ve allowed this child to be exposed to adult content.

Heather Paish 8 months ago

You are freaking welcome!

Ramona Leigh O’Kin 8 months ago

It’s great to see this from another angle, thanks for sharing! With our son it was the same way, we could see him slipping away from us. After he began his transition, it was as if the fire in him had been relit, and he is now the happy, healthy, funny person he always was, just with a new name :)

Heather Stewart 8 months ago

I think it’s sad that we have to raise our children in a society that may not accept them. Whether your child be gay or have cancer or have a mental illness we have to explain to them how some people won’t understand and won’t accept them for their differences. That’s the saddest part of parenting a differnt child. To hear your child say ” why don’t they like me” we shouldn’t have to prepare our kids for that.

Linda Ode 8 months ago

Thank you.

Jerri Van Conant Mollan 8 months ago

I think the point of this article is to tell would-be parents that someday one of their children might say “hey, I’m gay or transgender”, and if they did, you’d find your love for them lessened or changed perhaps you shouldn’t have children. All children seek love and acceptance and if parents continue to teach self-loathing we’ll continue to have kids killing themselves.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Being against hate is not the same thing as Hating .

Tanya Kenworthy-Mosher 8 months ago

Excellent!

Jennifer Capua 8 months ago

I get it-the tag line is a bit strong. But, the insane amount of control freak ignorance shown on this feed is sad. Helicopter parents, you need to be grounded. And deal, because people are who they are, not who you want them to be. I imagine my mom wanted a girlie girl for her first born, too. Also, there is a big difference between acting like a boy and actually being a boy trapped in a girl body. I was the first-hated dresses, played with cars/trains, etc. The Fonz was my idol and I wore the Fonz pajamas. My mother and father were fine with this(although mom made me wear a dress for special occasions lol). But, I never felt like a boy. I saw in the article a therapist was involved. This is a huge, life altering step and professionals should always be involved. I grew up to still prefer pants, but I wear the occasional dress, love makeup and jewelry. I will never really like pink and princess stuff. I like being a girl-can not even begin to understand how these kids deal with that wrong feeling every day of their lives. My daughter is a girlie girl, unlike me. But, she still likes cars and Minecraft. She describes herself as a gamer lol. Who am I to argue? I just guide her(homework/schoolwork first, games second) and try to grow a responsible, functional adult.

Jessica 8 months ago

I read this with tears in my eyes. Its so amazing that you, your family and community were so open to Jesse. I have watched so many of my friends in the LGBTQ community be hurt and disowned by those who were supposed to love them. I myself never had the guts to come out to my family as Bi until I was 22 & married (to a man), for fear of how they would react. So much love and hope for you and your family.

Regina Hurst 8 months ago

I think a lot of people are confusing this caption the wrong way including Brittany. Although I do agree with Brittany that no one can be prepared just aware for things that can happen such as first time mommies dealing with baby tantrums or no sleep, what I think this caption is saying if you want to have children be ready to accept the fact your children will not always be who you want them to be & you have to accept your ok with that. I think the word “prepared” is throwing people off.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Does that mean you shouldn’t be able to “choose” to be straight till your 18?????

Heather Paish 8 months ago

You don’t get to agree or disagree with someone’s gender. That’s not a thing you get to have an opinion on any more than you get to agree or disagree with someone’s race or nationality. Accept your children for who they are, educate yourself about the difference between sex and gender, and last time I checked we can’t help who we fall in love with.

Jennifer Capua 8 months ago

There is a big difference between acting like a boy and actually being a boy trapped in a girl body. I was the first-hated dresses, played with cars/trains, etc. The Fonz was my idol and I wore the Fonz pajamas. My mother and father were fine with this(although mom made me wear a dress for special occasions lol). But, I never felt like a boy. I saw in the article a therapist was involved. This is a huge, life altering step and professionals should always be involved. I grew up to still prefer pants, but I wear the occasional dress, love makeup and jewelry. I will never really like pink and princess stuff. I like being a girl-can not even begin to understand how these kids deal with that wrong feeling every day of their lives. My daughter is a girlie girl, unlike me. But, she still likes cars and Minecraft. She describes herself as a gamer lol. Who am I to argue? I just guide her(homework/schoolwork first, games second) and try to grow a responsible, functional adult.

Jennifer Capua 8 months ago

There is a big difference between acting like a boy and actually being a boy trapped in a girl body. I was the first-hated dresses, played with cars/trains, etc. The Fonz was my idol and I wore the Fonz pajamas. My mother and father were fine with this(although mom made me wear a dress for special occasions lol). But, I never felt like a boy. I saw in the article a therapist was involved. This is a huge, life altering step and professionals should always be involved. I grew up to still prefer pants, but I wear the occasional dress, love makeup and jewelry. I will never really like pink and princess stuff. I like being a girl-can not even begin to understand how these kids deal with that wrong feeling every day of their lives. My daughter is a girlie girl, unlike me. But, she still likes cars and Minecraft. She describes herself as a gamer lol. Who am I to argue? I just guide her(homework/schoolwork first, games second) and try to grow a responsible, functional adult.

Denny Clawson 8 months ago

Thank god people are changing their views and acceptance is beginning to be the norm.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

It’s not about letting them change their gender. Their gender is how they identify, not their genitalia. Most transgender people have known for most of their life how they identify, even if they didn’t accept it themselves until much later. No one is starting 5-10 year olds on hormone replacement therapy. It is about allowing a child to identify how they truly are.

Jennifer Capua 8 months ago

There is a big difference between acting like a boy and actually being a boy trapped in a girl body. I was the first-hated dresses, played with cars/trains, etc. The Fonz was my idol and I wore the Fonz pajamas. My mother and father were fine with this(although mom made me wear a dress for special occasions lol). But, I never felt like a boy. I saw in the article a therapist was involved. This is a huge, life altering step and professionals should always be involved. I grew up to still prefer pants, but I wear the occasional dress, love makeup and jewelry. I will never really like pink and princess stuff. I like being a girl-can not even begin to understand how these kids deal with that wrong feeling every day of their lives. My daughter is a girlie girl, unlike me. But, she still likes cars and Minecraft. She describes herself as a gamer lol. Who am I to argue? I just guide her(homework/schoolwork first, games second) and try to grow a responsible, functional adult.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Stop using the bible as an excuse to be hateful.

Lisa Notarile Lawrence 8 months ago

That’s an interesting comparison. I know comparing the challenges and conflicts a parent may face, internally and/or externally, to a birth disorder or disease is definitely not ideal nor really much of an apt comparison but I really do think people struggle to find one, something else that they can grasp and understand. Even when a parent loves their child unconditionally and accepts them no matter what, there are those that won’t nor can they be forced to. Sometimes their opinions are steadfast and other times they can see something more clearly if looking at it from a perspective they can understand.

Pamela Benedict 8 months ago

If a parent loves you in a way that invalidates your very existence, that is not appropriate and supportive love.

Andrea McHardie 8 months ago

Excellent parents and perfect examples of how accepting every parent should be of their children!

Ramona 8 months ago

Whoa, there. You are entitled to your opinion, and I support your constitutional right to speak it, HOWEVER – that’s a pretty strong opinion to have on something that you obviously know very little about. Maybe do a bit of research or respectfully talk to the parent of a transgender child if you have questions. But that type of attitude and those very words were what led to the suicide of a transgender teen recently. Her parents’ refusal to accept her for her true self, their attempts to “pray away” her gender identity, the insistence on calling her a boy – these things caused terrible depression and ultimately led to her death. As for me, I trust that my son knows his true self. And I trust the team of doctors we work with to help him continue on his path to becoming the man he always knew himself to be.

Tiah Fleury 8 months ago

I will love my children regardless of gender and regardless of whomever they choose to love. As long as my children are happy in their lives I as their mother am happy for them.

Elizabeth Schultz 8 months ago

The problem is that a child being born LBGT isn’t something we should have to worry about “accepting” or “being prepared for” etc. It’s just something that is. It’s as normal as being born black or white or with green or brown eyes. It’s normal. People generally tend to feel feelings for other people. They fall in love. It doesn’t matter if they love boys or girls or both. The reason we have to face any challenges from society is because society makes it that way. There are ignorant people who continue to make this an issue and act like that boy is “wrong, sick in the head, different, not normal” for loving another boy. It’s absolutely normal and human nature for us to want to love and be loved by someone else. Love is love. I think if more people realized this and left each other alone on that respect, the world could be a happier place. :)

Jennifer Zupko Spaeth 8 months ago

The ignorance on this thread is painful. If you are soooo religious and base all your opinions and actions on the bible I fear for your kids. I dare you to follow the bible to the letter. You can’t actually bc the OT and the NT contradict each other. Have fun with that. At least it might keep you busy for awhile.

Caitlin Valerie Paulette Reynolds 8 months ago

I think you’re all missing the point….”even though i dont agree with what they do, i love them to pieces anyway” was what the god fearing people on this comment were trying to say. And just to be clear, im more of a spiritualist, druid possibly. People do have the right to disagree, just like people who are gay have the right to marriage. But what these particular people are saying is that they dont agree but they love’em anyways. Not “homosexuality is a sin and you all are going to hell”. Theres two types of god fearing people, do not push away and alienate the ones who are not filled with hate.

Jennifer Capua 8 months ago

Someone who gets it. It’s who they are-you love them, for WHO THEY ARE.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Emily that is how I read it too.

Tim Cavanah 8 months ago

I’ve never been against gays Tanisha. But if this article represents the beliefs of the pro gay community, then they are just as discriminatory towards people who don’t hold their beliefs as anti-gays are about them. I don’t think people should care at all if somebody’s gay or not. But if gays are going to try to fight discrimination with discrimination, I think they’re going down the wrong path.

Rachel L McCreery 8 months ago

Me and my husband (before even considering children) discussed what we would do in various situations that may come up with our children. Do we want genetic testing? Can we handle parenting a child with Down’s syndrome or autism? What do we do if their pregnant at 16? What if their gay or transgender ? What if their sick? What if they don’t want to be Christian like us but atheist or Jewish? Basically what we came to is that we will love our kids no matter what and even if we may never be prepared for every situation, we want to be there as a source of support for our kids and not be part of the problem.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Perhaps it would be best to compare it to a child born with a different skin tone than his or her parents via a genetic melatonin difference. It does not change the child’s health but will cause unnecessary and unwanted judgement from “society”. The child was simply born different than the heteronormative WASP expectation.

Chelsea Williams Durham 8 months ago

Yes! <3

Becky Voss 8 months ago

No

Tori 8 months ago

Is having ADD a choice? Is having autism a choice? Is being Irish or African American a choice.

Ramona 8 months ago

It makes my heart happy to see more and more families who are embracing their LGBTQ children!! Our son was 15 when he “officially” came out as transgender, but was only 3 the first time he mentioned that he was a boy (while surrounded by Barbies and baby dolls and wearing a dress Lol). He is a happy, well-adjusted 17 year old high school senior now :) Our families, his younger brother, his friends, and teachers and staff at his high school have all been very accepting and loving towards him. May Jessie continue to find love and support at every turn on her journey to live a true life <3

Tori 8 months ago

This is an amazing story. I struggle with the whole transgender issue. I want to understand it and be accepting but it is hard for me to accept that nature (not God) gives someone the wrong gender. I feel for you and your daughter and can only imagine the struggles she will have to overcome as she finds her way in the world. She sounds like a great kid. I am sure her personality will be a boon to her in her journey.

Melisa Hennessy 8 months ago

Love is blind to color, gender, sexual orientation, etc etc. You’re doing a good job don’t let stupidity bring you down.

Leandra D. Turner 8 months ago

You can’t argue with someone that believes there is a God in the sky guys come on now lol they base everything on a book written by MEN

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

You can’t compare something that isn’t wrong to something that is completely wrong on so many levels. When my 16 year old gay son walks down the street holding his boyfriend hand who is he hurting? Who is he damaging? Love is love! PERIOD. Hate hurts people. Love does not.

Adair Olson 8 months ago

Bravo!!

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

It hasn’t become popular its not a fad being gay has been around as long as humanity has existed in recent years gay people have been able to come out because instead of raping torturing and killing them straight people are learning to love them for who they are instead of who they sleep with…

Lisa Notarile Lawrence 8 months ago

Because that’s what society does. They compare. Some do it in order to empathize, to be able to understand.

Leandra D. Turner 8 months ago

I totally agree with the header

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Not comparable to being gay which doesnt hurt anyone. If my son was on the wrong path, hurting himself OR others I would do ANYTHING I can to stop or prevent the behavior! I would use every resource I have to help them. If my son started showing signs of being a psychopath I wouldn’t be too proud to get him help! I wouldn’t turn a blind eye and ignore an issues because of what others may think of me.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

I’m not an american silly woman I’m Canadian and frankly I don’t tolerate ignorance or hatred for any reason… You have your freedom to be a hateful bitch I have my freedom to not like you and think your stupid

Melisa Hennessy 8 months ago

I’ve already told my husband, i do not care if our daughter is gay or straight, or even trans, as long as whoeever she chooses to be with treats her right and makes her happy (and i get at least one grandkid lol) i will be a happy mom. With both my besties being lesbians, i will have no problems teaching my daughter acceptance.

Belinda Mendoza Franke 8 months ago

Debby, I’m sure that’s closer to the intended meaning.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Part of being imperfect includes sometimes judging each other when maybe we shouldn’t… Even if its wrong we do things we shouldn’t at times they aren’t perfect and never claimed to be…

Kristin Kujda 8 months ago

Why does there have to be?

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

I’m no saint and I will admit that I can be intolerant at times I don’t like hate or those who force their idiotic opinions on others I have never once said I’m tolerant either. I tolerate things that don’t harm others like being lgtb I don’t tolerate hate…

Mary Simmons 8 months ago

Amen!

Mary Simmons 8 months ago

Exactly.

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Then you aren’t loving and supporting them. Lol. You can’t say “it’s okay your gay” then turn around and say “but I don’t want to see it, hear it or look at it”…

Lisa Notarile Lawrence 8 months ago

Then let me ask you, seriously, what comparison would you prefer wherein, it is choice less from birth but also requires some serious adjustment and “preparation” for as a parent? Wherein the parents know that even though they may love their child unconditionally, there are certain challenges to face especially from society? Using being born with a certain eye or hair color wouldn’t really qualify as no one considers that something that really needs preparation or acceptance for. If there is a preferable comparison, I’d honestly like to know.

Jamie Engler Boggs 8 months ago

It does not…you would be asking them to deny a part of who they are to keep you happy, that would then depress them…how is that fair?

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Its survival. She probably wasn’t thrilled about the decisions she had to make. But there have been transgendered kids as young a 6 showing signs of depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation. Infact a 9 year old who identified as gay killed himself not long ago… transgendered kids who are not excepted by their parents are 14x more likely to commit suicide :(

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Your opinion of tolerance is killing children every day!

April VanderVeer 8 months ago

Okay, you are being ridiculous and taking this to an extreme it doesn’t need to be. I’m talking gay, straight, transgender, fat, skinny, shy, outgoing… You are taking things to a moronic level. One of the crazies…

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Being LGBT has nothing to do with morals! Lol. Being LGBT doesn’t make you a bad person!

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

If it was completely a choice Why would someone choose to be gay or trans when they can be murderer, raped, tortured or worse for it????

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Bullshit! My son loved all things girly at 3-4 years old. Who he is was ingrained in him. He was born that way! There also is no science to prove it a choice!!! So thanks for playing! :)

Elizabeth Schultz 8 months ago

Jessica Sede are you then morally opposed to someone being born black or white? Or with red hair? Or with green eyes? How can you be morally opposed to a trait someone is born with? It’s not a choice.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

No I’ve read the bible multiple times. And you obviously need to re-read it. Because it also states to stone your children. Do you do that? Do you let your husband beat you publicly? ( it states that too) and ALSO it’s states that you are not to judge others. Seems like that’s what your doing.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

A tolerant person would be fine with someone having those beliefs but doesn’t have to be ok with you shoving it down the throats of innocent children

Rachael Toupin 8 months ago

My father and my sister are both gay…if you think I don’t understand this, you’re crazy….my mom has always treated my sister with nothing but love but there

Mary Simmons 8 months ago

When your kids are grown…Lol, never mind. Have fun with that precious New mommies, lol.

Christine Lenore 8 months ago

Where did I say I’d disown my son? In fact I said I’d love him. Also where did I mention the Bible, or give any reason for my views? When did I choose to screw men? That’s a mature way to put it. But I made the choice when dating that I wanted to date men because I have no interest in women. So you’re saying those who are gay are forced to date the same sex? Because if it’s not a choice than it’s forced.

LouiseTheres Roberson 8 months ago

You are wrong. Loving your child unconditionally means witho it conditions. Choosing to ostracize them from your family because they live a lifestyle you don’t support isn’t love. That’s judgement. And it’s pretty pathetic that you only support your kids when they make choices you support.

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

#parentingdoneright

Dot Whited McCumsey 8 months ago

Yes I know. The article was great & completely contrary to the caption.

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Being LGBT doesn’t harm anyone. The comparison doesn’t make sense. Lol

Amy Garoutte 8 months ago

People are ridiculous. She’s saying you don’t choose to have cancer, just as you don’t choose to be gay. Either way you (as a parent) deal with whatever surprises your kids bring as they come and love them no matter what! She was not equating being gay to a disease!

Erin Shell 8 months ago

Rather than saying “If you aren’t PREPARED”, perhaps a better title would be “If you aren’t willing to ACCEPT and LOVE your gay, lesbian or transgender child…”. Because no matter how much advice you get, no matter how many books you read, how many different parenting styles you are exposed to, nothing can prepare you to raise a child except living it.

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Thank you everyone. I’m a child and youth worker who works with at risk teens girls. So I do have experience from work :) which makes it easier. But I would be lying if I said my husband adapted as easily! Of course he wanted a mans man of a son! Just like him! But when he finally came out he told him he would never turn his back on him. That he loved him regardless. We all went the the family day for pride, and all participated in a grass roots style type parade! (Includes my husband, 14 year old son and 2 kids under 2). Where thet 100% comfortable? Absolutely not! But they made the effort and stepped out of their comfor zones to support him. They let go of the worry what people would think of them for being there. Thats what being a family and parent is about in my opinion. 😉

Cassandra Grace Gordon 8 months ago

I don’t think it means “prepared” as in the sense that you should be ready, but more of if you can’t accept the idea of raising a child that is lesbian, gay, bi, or transgender then you shouldn’t have become a parent….

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

I’m on the other side of the fence at 15 my dad came out to us as a woman. Something she had wanted to do since childhood but the time was never right and she was scared as a child to do so but she always knew it was what she wanted…. I’m now 21 with kids of my own and my dad is a woman finally. Growing up my dad was always home she didn’t have many friends and never seemed as happy as she is now. Before it was like watching a fire slowly die when she came out to us it was like watching that fire come back to life and she is so much happier now. It never fucked me or my brother up honestly we didn’t really care. Why does it matter what is in someone’s pants? Or what someone is wearing? Shouldn’t you love them for who they are on the inside?? And for those who say they won’t let their children be who they are now you will have a severely depressed child and it doesn’t get better there could be suicide attempts or worse… There is no way to change them or make it stop no counselling or drug will make them stop… They may hide it but its still there its still a secret desire that they will be ashamed of until they know its ok. Is it worth losing your precious little baby over?? Let God judge them when the time comes ( if God is your thing personally I am an atheist)

Kristin Kujda 8 months ago

I am a gay person. I don’t want to be compared to a disease that devastates a family.

Jamie Engler Boggs 8 months ago

Amen! I don’t care who my children love our if they want to be a different gender…I love them more than anything and that will never change

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

I’m so glad it wasn’t just us!!

Lisa Notarile Lawrence 8 months ago

I think the comparison to a disease is not to imply, by some people, that it is something to be cured but to liken it to a situation where there is no choice but may be difficult for a parent to adjust to or handle. No one chooses to be born gay. No one chooses to be born with Down syndrome or autism. No one chooses to be born with brown hair or blue eyes. I think that is where there is the miscommunication. Like I said, not to compare it to something that needs to be cured but to compare it to something where there is no choice but may be something a parent needs to dig deep inside themselves to handle and accept.

Katena Russell-Hood Dyser 8 months ago

My husband and I has as well he said its our child we will love it regardless!!!!

Jamie Engler Boggs 8 months ago

Amen Shawn Fricke

James Nation 8 months ago

That’s exactly the point I was making.

Elizabeth Schultz 8 months ago

The problem here is that some people are trying to say that your child being LBGT is something you don’t expect, like a child getting cancer. Why would you not expect it? Sexual preference and gender identity are biological. We are born that way. What I expect is that my boy and girl are either going to love boys or girls or both. And I am always going to love my children unconditionally no matter who they fall in love with. It’s as easy as that. This is not even an issue though many people continue to make it one. It really puzzles me.

mickey 8 months ago

It is when it concerns something like this–someone “believing” they’re something they’re CLEARLY NOT!!!!–

Katena Russell-Hood Dyser 8 months ago

It is hard to be a parent and I love my children unconditional!!

Cheri Torzy-Thuot 8 months ago

True that…as a parent we accept and love our child unconditionally…no matter what;)

Katie Hansen 8 months ago

Mary, you’re the kind of person who gives conservatives a bad name. Please Don’t use that term in public again, it’s offensive to all conservatives who have a brain.

You have the right to be a bigot if you want, and raise your children how you seem fit, nobody is disputing that. But making idiotic comments every 5 minutes and claiming it’s because you are conservative and are somehow discriminated against because of that is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.

Alexandra Leigh Drake 8 months ago

Shae, when did you choose to be straight?

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Your an awesome parent and person for that!!

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Thank you for commenting. I needed a happy story amidst the hate/ignorance.

mickey 8 months ago

To Whitney Graef:

LGBT IS a “choice!!!!” It most certainly IS!!!! NO doubt!!!!

Jamie Engler Boggs 8 months ago

Laura Ann Cooke these people choose to distances themselves from you and your family because you guys DO NOT truly and unconditionally love them which is what family is supposed to do….they distanced themselves from you guys because having to hide a part of who you are is depressing and they would rather be happy than be around ignorant people…you cannot say I love you unconditionally but only if you don’t do this…you are a hypocrite, your entire family is…I pity your children…for their sake I hope they are not gay, but if they are they have an aunt and uncle that will accept them, every part of who they are

Athena Andrzejewski 8 months ago

Nothing about Christianity says “tolerance”. Hate to burst your imaginary bubble.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Raven, really?!?! REALLY?! Suicide is their choice so what are we gonna do? I don’t typically swear in message boards but shut the FUCK up! And FUCK YOU. Suicide is a decision one makes when they see no other options. So what can we do….. Hhhmmmmm… Give them better options? Show them love? Get them unbiased professional help?

mickey 8 months ago

It’s completely and absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!! For the parents to allow something like this to happen! They should’ve explained to George, now Jessie, that this behaviour was unacceptable and to “quit all this nonsense and foolishness!”

Honestly, you people that are “commending” the parents should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves for “promoting and encouraging” such behaviours!!!

Mike Anderson 8 months ago

I read the article in its entirety. While I have mixed feelings about decisions made by a nine year old, I empathize with her. Its a wonder she is not in the nut house. Kudos to her for going thru everything and being positive…

Dani Lopez 8 months ago

Well done!

Lindsay Snyder Hurley 8 months ago

I beg to differ. There are plenty of people who should not be parents and DHS agrees. Children are a blessing and there are plenty of people who do not treat them as such.

Cindy Birdwell Awad 8 months ago

If only all other parents would support their trans children!!! Just accept people for who they are already and stop worrying about what others think!!

Katie Hansen 8 months ago

“If you aren’t prepared to raise a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender child, perhaps you shouldn’t have become a parent in the first place.”……I was unaware that we were supposed to prepare to treat our children different based on their sexual preferences or sexual identity they identify with.

The article was great but the title was designed to inflame and polarize the issue. In no way is that crappy attitude helping the LGBT community or anyone else for that matter.

Looking at someone as though they are inferior for not having the same beliefs as you? Shame on you! Goes the same for the religious zealots and the upity snobs on here.

Emily Gunn 8 months ago

I read it as being prepared emotionally. A child that comes to terms with who they are and want to be needs a stable parent who will hug them and tell them that they will get through it together. That’s how I interpreted it.

Rochelle Leigh Wall 8 months ago

Until you (as a reader) are in the same situation as the author, then you have no right to judge. You never know how you will react until you are in the thick of it.

Michele Heath-Pilotte 8 months ago

Kristin Kujda, it is ignorance. Don’t take it personally. Unfortunately, social media helps these trolls hide behind the keyboard.

I have a friend that came out to his family that he was gay when he was 19. His entire family disowned him. He is now 47 years old and happily in a relationship but his family still have nothing to do with him. I have two small boys, I can’t imagine ever doing something like that to my boys because they are gay, transgender, etc.

I’m going to stop reading this particular posts because I choose to be positive and enjoy the first day of the new year with my incredible kids. Happy New Year!

Amy Doughan Clark 8 months ago

Not everyone believes in your God. Why do I have to live by YOUR interpretation of a book written thousands of years ago, that has been rewritten and translated hundreds of times, like one giant game of telephone? If you need to believe in it, that’s fine. But it’s not a fact, it’s not proven, and it doesn’t apply to everyone. People don’t choose to be born gay any more than they choose to be born white or black. Every child looks for approval and acceptance from their parents, and if they don’t get it, they may believe who they are is wrong. Parents shouldn’t care who their children love, as long as it’s a healthy loving relationship! Don’t you want yor children to be happy?

Emily Gunn 8 months ago

And that’s all that being prepared is. I don’t think people need to read up on any and all situations that may occur, I just think that parents should embrace being able to evolve immediately to a situation. I think that people are taking the title too seriously. They were just simply stating that parents need to be willing to acknowledge that their children are not going to be the image they have in their heads from birth. In my opinion, the title is just stating that we need to stop picturing our kids in a perfect mold, and realize that they will be an individual. And IF they are something you don’t expect, it’s being available to grow and learn together that makes you prepared.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

So your going to compare lgtb people to criminals???? Being lgtb is not a choice… Choosing to kill or rape is a fucking choice

Shawn Fricke 8 months ago

You have all the right to disagree. It doesn’t make you any less of a shitty person for saying you’d basically disown your kid for being trans or gay. It also doesn’t mean that you can (and people who agree with you) aren’t shitty for continuing to try to legislate your “beliefs” onto other’s lives. Why is it that there’s one line in the Bible about homosexuality that you all totally stick to, but ignore the dozens of lines about loving thy neighbor or judge not lest ye be judged?

Lisa Notarile Lawrence 8 months ago

Prepare, open and accept are three different words with three very distinct meanings. I haven’t met the parent yet who was prepared for every situation that arose in raising a child BEFORE actually becoming a parent and even after the fact. Love unconditionally? Yes. But completely prepared? No. Even if someone thinks they are, they’re probably not. After all how many non parents say “when I have children, I’m going to do X” and “my kids will never…” Only to have to choke on their words after they do have kids?

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Per GLAAD.org

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Your judging. Didn’t the bible say in there judge not lest ye be judged????? God is the only one with the right to judge peoples sins. The bible tells us to not judge each other it tells us to love each other regardless of the sins each of us has committed… I am an atheist and even I know that much about the bible. You should go sit down and read it and think about what exactly your doing wrong in your own life….

Timothy Todd 8 months ago

That’s not really “welcome” in your house then is it Laura? I hope your brother is somewhere nicer than your family right now, surrounded by people that actually support him.

Shae Carroll 8 months ago

Being gay/transgender is a CHOICE, not something you were born into….

Amanda von Herrmann 8 months ago

As to the heading by the page.. Click Bait… which worked exactly as intended… sparking discussion, threads within threads, and growing the topic itself.
Controversial and antagonistic headlining gathers more speed and attention to the subject.. So, while being a bit tactless, it serves its goal rather easily.

Melissa Simmons 8 months ago

Love is about accepting and supporting your child.
Thus far, I have two little girls who are ages 3 and 1.
I am a proud LGBT Ally. I want to teach my girls that love is love and it shouldn’t matter who you love.
Recently, Montana passed a law accepting Equal Rights. I have friends, a lesbian couple, who have been together 10 years. I cried at how happy they were to finally be able to get legally married. It was beautiful.
A gay friend of mine was a cutter because he was harassed constantly at home by his step dad for being an attention seeker. He was also beat up, bullied, and ostracized in school.
There are more stories about my other LGBT friends, but I won’t post them.
These people are funny, smart, and stronger than many of us have to be. Because, despite the fact that tolerance is becoming more renowned, unacceptance is everywhere.
And the foundation to weather those storms is built at home. To say you aren’t going to support LGBT rights and to say you aren’t going to support and embrace your child if they are LGBT, is inhumane.
You refuse to accept a part of them that just IS. That’s torture for these kids.
No one is attacking your physical parenting skills, so simmer down. We are telling you that not supporting who your children love is cruel.
To tell them they aren’t allowed to be who they are until they turn 18 or 21 or whatever is unimaginable.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

It’s not a choice. When did you choose to screw men??? I mean obviously you sat down one day and thought hmmmmm I’m going to be straight. Right????

Rachel Jones Fyke 8 months ago

It’s good to know that you’re the expert on someone’s ignorance. Take a look in the mirror. And don’t assume anything – makes you look like an ass.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Actually in the trans community the -ed ending implies that it is something that happened. As in I was transgender but now I’m not, so I was transgendered. Transgender is a state of constant being. No one ever stops being trans. So no, transgendered is not perfectly fine. I will agree with your statement about the word transvestite, and would add tranny to the list of big no no’s

Maggie Zimmerman 8 months ago

Meghan- love the verses you posted. If people lived by every word in the bible it’d be a much different world. I see a lot of folks picking and choosing what suits them. The bible was written by man. I personally believe God is love. God is acceptance.
Just my personal belief. Agree or disagree, doesn’t matter to me.

Annie Northouse 8 months ago

It scares me how many people are still on the wrong side of the fence on issues like this… so far my kids are very stereotypical of their genders so for now I will focus on teaching them to not be the bully…

Jesse Roth Tran 8 months ago

I’m not trying to discredit your religion. I’m glad you have faith in something…that’s tough to hold on to. However I would like you to consider the number of suicides committed by LGBT teens because when they bring to light their sexual or gender identification they are made to feel that it (meaning who they are) is wrong. Now I say this with respect and curiousity…not judgment…but how can it be Godly and sharing love to make someone you love believe that they are sinful and wrong? Isn’t it God’s job to do the judging? I’d love for you to just consider, with an open mind, the damage it can do to someone you love to tell them that who they are is wrong and they are going to hell.

Jessie Williams 8 months ago

Actually Kimberly, in today’s society, LGBT can be a choice (and often is because it is the new “cool” thing to do)… I have a son (28) who has chosen it… he grew up with no sign of being trans, just a lazy kid who actually spent most of his childhood hating “girly” things like most big brothers to their sister’s stuff. When he became a lazy adult, when he was sick of people telling him to get work and be responsible for himself is when he started saying things like “life would be easier as a girl” (26 at that time) and changing his online (his whole life was centered around his computer) characters to female. Then he told me “he wanted to TRY something different” so he found online help to get him hormones and change to female… HIS choice is specifically because he wants attention and someone to take care of him because he likes to create problems for people to feel sorry for him. We have bailed him out of many situations before this one, physically and financially, but we have had to walk away from this one because he is hurting his body for attention this time. So, Kimberly, LGBT can be a choice…

Amber Cano Martin 8 months ago

Congrats to this mom for being a great parent. Anyone who thinks that a child should not be able to choose to transition needs to do some research on trans issues. Transitioning before puberty could actually save transgender people a lot of pain and difficulty that occurs with transitioning later in life. And most trans people know who and what they are from a young age. There is a clear difference between being trans and just playing dress up.

Jaime Holmes 8 months ago

The problem is that parents as a whole run from uncomfortable situations and live under the dangerous guise “if I ignore it or if we don’t talk about it, Sally Sunshine won’t be curious” that is the type of dangerous parenting that leads to catastrophic circumstance. Its imperative to educate children and address issues head on as they’re brought forth.

I was watching TV with my 7 year old little and 2 guys kissed. She said “yuck! Boys can’t be together like that! Ew. That’s not right.” I said “yes they can. And girls can like girls, and girls like boys and boys like girls. You can’t hate something that’s different than you. I asked her “so what do you really not like?” She said “mushrooms” I said “Ok, I LOVE mushrooms! Do you not like me anymore because I like something different than you?” She giggled and said “no! I love you always! Even if you eat mushrooms, it means you’ll eat em off my pizza!”

Point is: we need to have these conversations with children, they are far more intelligent than we give them credit for. If my son tells me he’s gay or feels like he needs to be a girl or same for my daughter, I’ll love them to the moon regardless. Ignorance is not bliss, its dangerous.

Anita Marie Fithian 8 months ago

Why are we so in uproar about other people’s sins but only certain ones? You call homosexuality a sin but why are you so concerned about it if you aren’t homosexual? Try being more concerned about your own sins because everyone has them. God judges each person and when the time comes it is only him who decides on the person. So yes, if my son was gay or trans, I would accept HIM and love HIM, even of he is doing something I don’t understand. Because in the end it’s God’s place to judge him and I will be judged for my own sin. But he is my child and I cannot turn him away, it isn’t in me to do. Try loving people instead of telling everybody how much they are sinning

Heather Malburg 8 months ago

You’re being a huge hypocrite. You completely contradicting yourself. You love your children, but you wouldn’t love and support them if they were either gay or lesbian? As long as they’re happy, successful in life and a good person who cares who they love?

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

If your daughter came to you and said, “Mom, I’m not a girl. I’m a boy.” Would that not be what God intended for your child? If she is a lesbian is that not how God built her? God does not make mistakes, per your posts, so how would a transgender child be a mistake?

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

You don’t love your children if you willing to turn your back on them if they find love with another person you don’t approve of. Unconditional love which is what parents are meant to have for their children is something that has no ties or stipulations to it.

Jennifer Zupko Spaeth 8 months ago

I have no clue what the fuss is about. When you have a child you must be PREPARED to raise that child no matter what. That is exactly how I read it. People that suggest it is ‘inflammatory’ should probably think about why they think that. I think you might be reading your own issues into that caption.

Wendy Stokes Mckenzie 8 months ago

Maybe saying Prepared to accept….would have been more appropriate. You are never prepared. You adapt and deal and love!

Teri Sorkin 8 months ago

So awesome!!

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Lol I said the same about my son if he was gay!! I would u have to worry about him getting a gf pregnant

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Michael Cobb do your research. That last bit is fact.

Michele Heath-Pilotte 8 months ago

Yes, you are correct. You have a right to your opinion AND voice (or write) your opinion, as do I. But do over-zealous, religious Bible-beaters have a right to bully this child and her mother? In the name of the Bible or the Constitution? NO, I am sorry, you do not.

By the way, You also have a right to stop following the Scary Mommy posts. Which, if you read my original statement, is what I was getting at in the first place.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Your wrong. Utterly and completely wrong. There’s nothing wrong with love. You don’t love your child fully and truly If you would turn your back on them because of who they have sex with

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

Mary Simmons I feel sorry for your 6 children. Must really suck to know mom will only love and support you if you make choices she agrees with.

Heather Moore 8 months ago

Ignorance and hatred on both sides of this issue are clearly shown here. I don’t think Britney was comparing the two rather the unexpectedness of how life develops. Calm down everyone. If we all can’t speak to one another with respect and without attacking each other when we don’t agree how in the world are we supposed to teach our children to so so?

Leslie Bailey 8 months ago

Not the best of captions, but the article is beautiful!

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Tolerance and love may be unamerican (in your opinion) but it is human. Don’t you know in the bible it says to love thy neighbor (it says nothing about judging them or mistreating them because you disagree with their opinion).

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

Laura Ann Cooke the number one reason LGBT people say they are severly depressed is lack of suuport, love, and understanding from their parents.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

You can battle it out in your own mind. But the only way to help a child is to accept their truth.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Wow. So not only are you wholly uneducated about transgender people but also think retarded is an acceptable word to use to negatively describe something. The ignorance is strong with this one.

Annie Northouse 8 months ago

I think that is sad, none of the lgbt I have known in my life ever had a choice. We don’t “push” acceptance on our kids. We just live it and they will pick up on that. They will never be afraid to talk me or their dad.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Mary Simmons you can have your religious opinion all you want. Just don’t force it on others. Do your research lgtb is not something you just choose to be your born that way or your not it is that simple. You cannot raise someone to be straight… But let me guess you still believe we rose up from the dust and the world was made in 7 days

Jaime Holmes 8 months ago

“I didn’t realize I needed to cater to your ignorance” best thing I’ve read in a long time. Love it.

JD McAnally 8 months ago

Emily I agree being able to accept your child and loving them is one thing but the caption says “prepared” and that’s a totally different. I have many gay friends and even a couple transgender friends and I can’t even say that they were prepared for facing who they are. If my sons or my unborn daughter came to me to tell me they were transgender I would accept them and love them no matter what they said to me however I’m not prepared or equipped with the knowledge to support them. I know I will support them and thankfully I have friends that are apart of the LGBT community to help me/us but I wouldn’t say I was prepared. Also there are many different facets of transgender community, will my child be transgender or transsexual, will they want surgery, when would surgeries be appropriate, how would I even pay for extra expenses? These are questions and issues that I am NOT prepared for. It doesn’t make me less of a mother than the poster because she thinks she would be prepared, I know that there is more to the whole transgender issue than just what’s on the surface. And no I wouldn’t be prepared. Just like I’m not prepared if my children gets hurt or sick. I know I have the resources but I’m not always prepared for ready what life throws our way.

Wendy Stokes Mckenzie 8 months ago

I agree. We as parents are rarely prepared for the trials that come our or our children’s way. You adapt and you deal. And you Love.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Transgender is not a sexuality. They are apples and oranges.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

Transvestite is frowned upon because its the term for one who derives sexual pleasure from wearing the opposite sexes clothes transgender/transgendered is perfectly fine

Maggie Zimmerman 8 months ago

Emily-well said and a good point.. I am on the side of love and acceptance..no matter what. There is always a possibility of not necessarily ‘liking’ some aspect of your child, but loving them anyway. I saw an episode of WWYD (What Would You Do?) on CNN once..it dealt with the issue of a son coming out to his father. An older gentleman stepped in and had some amazing words of love and acceptance, even though he didn’t necessarily agree with or like his son’s sexual orientation. I wonder if it is on YouTube..if it is, my phone sucks too much to link it. …but I thought it was eye opening and wonderful. :) Anyway, sorry for the book. Happy New Year, everyone! May you find love, peace and happiness in every facet of life. :)

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Yes America is the land of the free, as in: land of the free to be entirely ourselves. You cannot pray away the gay any more than I can pray away your ignorance. Education is key. So please, educate yourself, from all bias points, not just the anti-LGBT ones, and form an educated opinion instead of blindly following a book written in a different reality.

Tanisha Woods 8 months ago

You sir are an idiot.

Chaundra Stewart 8 months ago

I think the ones taking offense to the caption must have some insecurities. She said “perhaps” not “you are the scum of the earth and should be made sterile” and if you can’t love your child unconditionally maybe you shouldn’t have them. Josh alcorn recently killed himself and wrote a pretty deep letter about how the parental lack of acceptance played a huge role. So are we saying we’d rather make our children miserable to the point of dying rather than accept who they are and what they’re going through? I love my children. It would be confusing and scary (because I would worry about others intolerance) but I would support them no matter what.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Lol I get what you mean. I’d wanna rename my son too if they are trans

Ashley-Nicole Crow Salmons 8 months ago

When it comes down to it, a lot of people shouldn’t have kids. Great article, especially in light of current events. Be the change we need!

Julie Van Hook 8 months ago

Ladies- I’m not trying to change your opinion. I’m also being tolerant but still standing firmly on my belief. It’s okay to agree to disagree and I sure do think it’s a choice for many to be straight…

Raven Foster 8 months ago

Holly it’s against my religion to support what I believe is sin. I will not support that. Ever. I obviously will never stop loving her. Laura god made her a female. A transgender is just a bad choice of a person not happy how god made them. He made us to have free will. He didn’t preprogram our brains and tell us hey I’m transgender. Therefore Laura your poin is invalid. De K well my religion says don’t accept te world an sin as normal and don’t condone it or it’s the same as committing the sin. I will always love my children too but if they choose to go against god obviously I’m not going to say yay good for u.

Amanda von Herrmann 8 months ago

I did pay attention to the bible, the torah, and the qur’an … especially to the constant promotion of ideas of women being subservient lesser people, slavery, the slaughter of innocents, barbaric rituals, despicable abuses of children and adults, castration, forced prostitution, abhorrent fears to force false notions of ideals, racism, corporal punishments, inconsistent and illogical dietary regulations, delusions, magic, childish fictional stories that deter from factual scientific explanations…. Etc etc etc.
Cherry-picking from books to build facades for bigotry, sexism, racism and illogical ideologies does not admonish you from your own actions regardless of whichever texts you attempt to justify it with.

Prepare also means to make ready by means of consideration and that is an important aspect of parenting. Nothing can be fully known nor ever will be about who your children may be or what they may do but as parents we can consider the possibilities and prepare ourselves for them by being open to learning and adjusting to what may come.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

What’s dumb is complaining about something u didn’t even read

Whitney Christine Graef 8 months ago

Funny, I didn’t realize I needed to cater to your ignorance. Oh that’s right, I don’t. It IS a fact. If you never accept that, you are a sad individual indeed.

Laura Ann Cooke 8 months ago

I do not support that life style. Simple. I will always love my children. But unless they come to me for help I will not be sitting at a dinner table with what they call their gf or bf.

Maria Helena 8 months ago

Laura,
You are stupid.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

And this is why LGBT teens have the highest suicide rates.

Michael Cobb 8 months ago

FACT: your “last bit” is an opinion

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

That would just hurt your child more.

Mary Simmons 8 months ago

No. Not so. I have 6 grown children. I know a bit more than you.

Sara Torbett 8 months ago

We get it.

Cassandra Julian 8 months ago

Chelsea, no. It is not a preference to be transgender. Gender, sex and sexuality are all very different. Sexuality is what type of person, if any, you are attracted to. Sex is the genitalia you are born with. Gender is how you identify. You can be a straight transgender female, a gay cisgender male, etc

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

This article really got your panties in a bunch. Hit a nerve?

Sara Torbett 8 months ago

By saying that if you aren’t prepared to love your child (no matter what) then you shouldn’t be a parent? If you aren’t going to love them, don’t have them. End of story.

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

My cousin is a FTM transgendered person. He had an incredibly hard time and suffered with depression until his mom accepted him as a male. He has known since 3-4 that he didn’t identify with his female body. It’s the same as you waking up one day in a male body. You just know it’s not right.

Meghan Kelly 8 months ago

Hope you believe all these too then, you don’t cut your hair right? And your husband doesn’t trim his beard? You have no piercings or tats, you don’t mix fabrics either correct? Or eat any type of fish?oh and do you also go with the whole belief that you are unclean and shouldn’t be around a man because you have you period? Do you bow down to your husband because it says to in the bible? Do you make sure you don’t try to teach a man? In the bible it says you as a lowly woman shouldn’t do that (it’s a sin)

Danielle Marie Caissie 8 months ago

Sarah, don’t worry about these people. You love your children and do the best you can. That makes you a good parent. Beth, agree 100%

Mary Simmons 8 months ago

Do any of you have adult children?? Well I do. Once they are grown they will sin. And make bad decisions. No matter who you are or how good you do. Bashing and creating a divide like this is flat out wrong. It’s hard to raise kids. Nobody should EVER tell another parent “maybe you shouldn’t be a parent”.

Kristin VanderHey Shaw 8 months ago

LBGT is not something you “buy into”. People are born this way, and it’s others who don’t accept them who are the only problem.

Sara Torbett 8 months ago

If you wouldn’t love and support your children for being LGBT, you don’t love them unconditionally. Sorry.

Anna Kathe Wilson 8 months ago

I don’t think you understand the complexity of gender identity disorder. What you described in regards to your daughter is entirely different, and nowhere near the same thing. Please do research on the subject before pretending it’s a simple matter of “jumping on the bandwagon”

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

So what are you going to do if your child turns out to be gay? Not support him?

Jeannette Mortimer 8 months ago

I agree 100%! Whoever and whatever my 3 children grow up to be I will love and support them equally.

Christine Lenore 8 months ago

Parents need to ask why so many children are wanting to be the opposite gender. If my son ever chooses to be gay or trans I’d love him but I sure as hell wouldn’t support. And I certainly would not support being transgender before 18. That doesn’t make me a bad parent.

Rachael Toupin 8 months ago

It’s not a sin for a man to love a woman but it is a sin for them to have sex outside of marriage, it’s a sin to cheat on your spouse, it’s a sin to watch porn, all sex outside of God’s plan is sinful…

Holly Fertig Day 8 months ago

I hate to be the one who has to tell you this, but “damn liberals” aren’t the only people who have gay or transgender kids, ma’am. You can believe anything you want about sin, but your attitude won’t keep your kids straight–it’ll just make them afraid to tell you if they’re not.

John M. Stegeman 8 months ago

Who could be prepared for such a thing? It is sad that people don’t realize unconditional love doesn’t mean condoning all behaviors.

Kimberly Pidgeon 8 months ago

It’s not making a decision per se. It’s allowing them to explore who they are.

Devon Ramsey Thompson 8 months ago

The article is good. I understand how the “headline” is inflammatory and is pushing people away from reading a really good article. Try to push past those words and read the article. I cannot fathom a single reason that could cause me stop loving my children. I may not agree or like their life path, but I will always, always, always love my children and support their path as long as it’s not illegal or hurting someone (though I will still love them even in those examples). That is what the article is about. The unfortunate heading is maybe (really hopefully) trying to prove a point about love, but it’s not done eloquently and would better serve the article if changed.

Emily Rettew 8 months ago

That’s what being a good parent is all about. It’s our job to teach them how to love.

Kimberly Pidgeon 8 months ago

Jesus never said anything about homosexuality.

Stephanie Corringham 8 months ago

For all you people whining over the caption – I think it spells it out perfectly! If you are going to have a child then you are making the conscious decision to love that child unconditionally. If you have stipulations on “but if he ever decides this…. or if she becomes this….” than you should re-think your choices. That was the point – and I think it’s a valid one. Also all of you folks who are comparing having a child who is gay to having a child with cancer or another disease – well that’s just ridiculous. You may be their parent but in the grand scheme of things it’s really none of your damn business who they choose to love or who they choose to be.

Dot Whited McCumsey 8 months ago

My daughter is 3 yrs old. You wanna know what I think if she turns out to be a lesbian? Yay, no teenage pregnancies! Regardless of how I feel, I will love my daughter unconditionally. However, nobody on this earth has the right to tell me not to have kids for whatever reason they feel is important on any given day.

Whitney Christine Graef 8 months ago

First, the uppity caption alone made me not was to read the article. It should’ve been worded differently because it just looks like they’re being a stuck up asshole to parents who aren’t completely prepared for the unexpected.

After reading the article, it was great. Beautiful story and beautiful parents for doing everything to make their child feel like themselves.

My last bit: Being LGBT is NOT a choice.

Gina Perkins 8 months ago

I feel for these parents. I honestly don’t know how I would have handled this. The same way I don’t know how I would handle having a mentally or physically handicapped child. I don’t think parents go in prepared to handle the “average“ child let alone one that exists outside of the box. But as always I admire the mom who sticks out her neck and talks about her challenges and I thank scary mommy for giving us the forum to hear her. I am sure she appreciates those who support her and has learned to ignore those who do not.

Emily Jo Schmidtke 8 months ago

this is so amazing

Kristin Unrein Maiorano 8 months ago

I have not been prepared for 1/2 of things that have been thrown at me being a parent but I love my kids and figure it out every day.

Rachael 8 months ago

Shortly after reading about the transgender girl who committed suicide because her parents insisted that she live as the boy they thought they had, I’m relieved and happy to read this. Love and acceptance from a parent to a child is NEVER EVER the wrong answer.

Jon Davis 8 months ago

My issue is how permissive our culture has become in allowing 9-year-olds (and younger!) to make important life decisions. It’s lazy parenting by adults who themselves were raised by a society that told them there is no such thing as being wrong…unless you tell someone they are wrong. What happens when my son grows old enough to tell me he wants to be a dinosaur?

Christina Estes 8 months ago

Except for this is the first generation where gay and trans and otherwise “abnormal” kids are becoming a huge, out-of-closet thing; our parents weren’t raised like that so why should we expect them to be cool with everything?

Jessica Dennis 8 months ago

There’s a whole lotta people on here arguing against this post based on semantics. Can we discuss the spirit of the post rather than the wording of it?! Geez!

Life With Teens and Other Wild Things 8 months ago

All I could think while reading was… my God that poor child… Always believing she was alone, and to have to go through her transition while in school… Kids can be absolutely awful. Thank God for terrific and supportive parents who love their kids, period. And thank God for a caring, supportive community who have embraced your child, too. It’s incredibly uplifting to hear a story of acceptance, though I’m sure there were struggles at times, too.

Best of luck to all of you.

Becky Perdue 8 months ago

Beautiful article. Treat others as you want to be treated. You can’t “pray the gay away”, you can’t “treat a mental disability” if they are LGBT because it’s NOT a disability. So many of you “religious” folks need to lose your religion and find Jesus who says WE ARE ALL SINNERS. And he died for our sins. You mean to tell me you didn’t have premarital sex? You didn’t take the Lord’s name in vain? You didn’t covet your neighbors? You all are a bunch of hipocrites. Until you are living their lives and you’re deep in the trenches of a different child, shut your mouths because your pastors are LYING to you and teaching you to be hateful instead of loving.

Chris Kleinjans 8 months ago

A long time ago, a Prof. told me “being a parent is the biggest responsibility in the world that doesn’t require a license, that complicated things.” The older I get, the righter (sure it’s not a word but what the heck) he is.

Amanda von Herrmann 8 months ago

… I am disturbed by the number of people who do not understand the meaning of the term “prepare”.

Generally, being a good parent means to be a constant student as much as a teacher, to accept them as individual people as they are and afford them respects as such, and to be open in communication, knowledge and love.

A strong morality and code of ethics is built upon a foundation of empathy and wisdom, not fear and archaic assumptions.

A parent’s role is to aid and support their children’s mental, physical, emotional and social growth. Simple. People, young and old, should be afforded the right to be who they are and will discover themselves to be, unhindered.
..and shared love is always something to be celebrated.

Telena Sellars 8 months ago

Thankfully my husband and I have had the “what if one of them is gay?” Conversation. I knew where I stood, but with him coming from the family he does, I was worried about what he’d say. His response made me love him more when he said, “I’ll love them no matter what. They’re still my children.” Shocked the shit out of me, but I’m glad he surprised me.

Emily Rettew 8 months ago

I love your page but I must disagree. I don’t think you can ever be prepared for what comes with parenting , it’s a constant learning process. With that being said I don’t care who my children chose to be as long and they are good people and a productive member of society.

Amber McCammon 8 months ago

I read the article itself. It had nothing to do with what the caption says. Instead of killing it for people, let them form their own opinions!

Marisa Ammerman 8 months ago

God loves everybody

Lisa Wise 8 months ago

I really, really don’t like the caption. Yes, I read the article. The caption is too harsh.
If, by some chance, my son comes to me and says he’s a girl, I’ll still love with with every beat of my heart as I do now. But am I prepared for that? No. How does one prepare for something they don’t ever expect, or something they hope won’t happen?

Susannah Farley 8 months ago

Yeah, you never get to choose who you’re kids are going to be. My 3 kids are as different from each other as day and night and 1 is fluid. We take every step with patience and grace, theirs AND mine. They’re figuring it out, as am I.

Elizabeth Burkey Parker 8 months ago

Great article. I only wish everyone would be this accepting!

Teri Erftmier Prochaska 8 months ago

Transgender is no longer classified as a mental illness by the DSM, therefore, not a mental illness.

Lindsey Clark 8 months ago

Religion……pretty much the only reason why parents can’t accept their kids for who they are.

Stacy Jones Sales 8 months ago

Its sad when people cant be who they want to be because of others. Everyone has the right to live their own life.

Cortny Green 8 months ago

I will always love my son and any future children I have. Their sexuality doesn’t matter to me. If my son feels as if he is a girl trapped in a boy’s body, I’m prepared to go through the process with my son and the same if I had a girl. Hell, I’m prepared if my child brings home a friend who got kicked out bc their gay etc, I’ll take them in and love them like a parent should. But the caption isn’t the nicest way of saying you need to love your child unconditionally. I’m not prepared to raise a child who has cancer ( but I’m sure as hell going to be right there beside my child helping fight it). So the thing probably should read: if you can’t love your children unconditionally, maybe you shouldn’t have kids. Anything can happen and your not going to be prepared for it. That’s why parenthood isn’t easy. There is nothing you can do to prepare for it. Just please, love your child no matter what their sexuality is.

Megan Marschand Pierceall 8 months ago

I’d be honored if my children came out to me. It would let me know that they trust I’ll accept and support their identity – which I do!

Holly Dixon 8 months ago

I honestly think that people jump on the Transgender bandwagon at too young of an age. Kids at 5 and 10 can’t make life altering decisions. It’s something that they need to decide once they are an adult. I went through a Tom boy phase and I’m so glad I wasn’t told I could be a boy since I identified with boy things. I would have missed out on so many things like being a mom. I think we need to stop giving the decisions to our children until they are an adult and can fully grasp what they are dealing with. Just my opinion.

Marieand Levi Smith 8 months ago

You can not be prepared for everything, thats such a shitty thing for you to have said. I’m not prepared to raise a child who’s that ‘different’, but if a time comes then I will have to learn. Watch your tongue, don’t tell us we shouldn’t have our children.

De K Rich 8 months ago

Prepare to accept. No, we don’t know exactly what we’ll face as parents but I was prepared to love my child no matter what. That’s what Scary mom is saying and I agree! I wasn’t prepared for my child to have Autism, but I was prepared to love him and accept him. And I do. Some are getting hung up on things…

Angela VanDusen 8 months ago

The only thing I can say after reading all these comments is… BEING LGBTQ IS NOT A FUCKING CHOICE!!! For Chrissakes people, it’s 2015! Why is this constantly needing to be reiterated?! Why are so many of you so goddamned content in remaining so completely bigoted? It makes absolutely no sense to me. In order to make your child feel loved you need to accept them. This should not be a huge surprise to anyone, and there are no exceptions. No one should convey to their child that what they feel/who they love is wrong. Period. It’s not a phase, get over it. If you feel the need to “pray the gay away” from your child, keep that shit to yourself. I can promise you that you are in no way helping your child, you are only setting them up for a difficult, dysfunctional life that will very possibly end tragically. Do your children and everyone else a favor and keep your backwards-ass opinions to yourself.

Dana Ayers 8 months ago

I can understand when someone says they were not prepared. The mom in the article loves her child and supports him (now her) and knew from a young age that he was different, but there is also a lot that comes with coming out that until you’re in the thick of it, you don’t really understand. (For example, some of the asinine comments on this article….) The ignorance and the judgement, from both kids AND adults, people who were once you’re friends who are now not, etc. These parents were wonderful.

Amanda Parker 8 months ago

I think this article was written in light of the transgender teen who recently killed himself and blamed his parents. All Scary Mommy is trying to say is don’t fuck your childrens heads up.

Rachel Stapleton 8 months ago

Love, love, love this.

Amanda Hennessey 8 months ago

I love the caption… You should be prepared to love your child unconditionally, no matter what. There was a story recently about a transgendered girl who committed suicide because her parents refused to accept her and told her she was wrong. Unacceptable… Not accepting your child as they are is not unconditional love.

Courtney Vitch 8 months ago

What a great article about a difficult subject. I hope that no matter what surprises life,and parenting, throw at me, I can handle them with as much grace as this mom.

Nicole Rutzen Smith 8 months ago

Harsh statement? Perhaps. Real. Yes. Those who are offended at the article don’t seem to have the experience of anything other than heterosexuals. My 16 yr old stepson is struggling with what’s going on with him. The only conclusion he knows for sure is he isn’t straight. The things his mother and grandmother have said to him after he told them are atrocious. His father and I always let him know we’re on his side, supporting him. Unfortunately, he’s not getting the same at his full custody home which should be his safe place. Besides, this Scary Mommy site, you should all know, doesn’t blow smoke and posts honesty. I don’t always love every article because it doesn’t always apply to me. But do I comment and throw a tantrum that I’m not a SAHM, therefore its ANOTHER article I’m not reading? No. I move on with my life and don’t complain that a public website doesn’t cater to every thing I am or agree with. Happy New Year all! 😀

Tracie Greer Sampson 8 months ago

I think it is horrid that parents are jumping on the transgender thing with children !!! Kids “identify” with all kinds of things when they are little. My (now 15) year old daughter wanted to be a boy when she was 6-7 years old. She wore camo and played with guns. (Before that she wanted to be a horse. She demanded oats with every meal ) . Now she’s a beautiful high school homecoming attendant & pageant competitor . Holy cow! What if I had let her actually become a boy ?!!! No way should kids be allowed to choose their gender till they are 18. BTW I have a transgender friend (Jennifer-formerly Jeff) so no I am not prejudiced.

Jennifer Brown 8 months ago

I took the caption to mean, be prepared for anything, and that includes raising a LGTB child. And really, we should be prepared for just about anything when raising a kid, from “I’m gay”, to trips to the ER, to talks about the birds abs bees, to teaching kids how to throw a ball, read, and drive a car.
I have sadly seen way, way too many parents react negatively to news of their child’s gender or sexuality. The suicide rates among LQTB teens is extremely high, in part to the poor reactions of their parents/family. Leelah Alcorn is the newest example of a long line of children/teens who hurt themselves to the point of no return after coming out to their parents.
I love the blog by the way. I’m sure being told something like that does throw you for a loop. But your most important job as a parent is to love your child, and love does not hurt. Love means acceptance, and these parents are doing an awesome job of that.

Alanna Bugden 8 months ago

So many people missing the point here .

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago

You’re never prepared for a child, even when you prepare lol

karabear 8 months ago

Great read. My niece (nephew? I still get confused lol) is transgender. Boy in a girls body. He now goes by a male name. It’s not easy in this society, as a lot of people just don’t understand. We always knew she was different too. We wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Lindsey Clark 8 months ago

I feel bad for the kids who are gay and their parents “won’t accept their choice”.

Maria Helena 8 months ago

Prepared doesn’t mean ACCEPT. Or am I wrong? Most of us are not prepared to deal with situation that are out of our lifestyle or society, because whether you like it or not, this society still isolates and discriminates homosexuals . Who wants that for our kids? You prepare yourself as you go, that doesn’t mean you don’t LOVE or ACCEPT YOUR KIDS!!!! People is so ignorant and judgmental.

Debby Van Vranken 8 months ago

Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story. Jessie is a lucky little girl to have parents like you. I wish you all the best. Thank you for a story about a transgender child that ends in love and not tragedy.

Karen Visocan McKeogh 8 months ago

What I find a bit ironic is all of the comments about “accepting the child for what/who they are”. They are the gender they are born as. I think you all might mean accept them for what they want to be (if they want to artificially switch genders)

Monica Webster Boylen 8 months ago

I will always love my daughter no matter what but honestly the thought of this scares me to death!

Kimberley Dawn 8 months ago

Having a gay son, who came out at 15, I can say “yes” we were prepared. We were prepared because we knew at a young age he was different. We were prepared because we knew damn well he may be gay. We were prepared because we ensured he knew that being LGBT was okay in our home and that we wanted him to be happy, that we didn’t care who he loved. Chances are if your kids comes out as LGBT there will be clues. You will not be blindsided! Unless you haven’t opened up your eyes and got to know your child! So if your getting red flags im your gut. Don’t turn away from them. Educate yourself. Learn your resources. Make your home a safe place to land when the outside world is too much! Get prepared! Especially with transgendered kids, the risk of self harm and suicide are extremely high!

Sara Sokoloski Swauger 8 months ago

Yes! Unconditional love- great job mama!!!!

Sherry Shepherd Parker 8 months ago

Parenting is a tough job..the pay is shit,you’re underappreciated,it’s totally on the job training. You’re going to stumble and make mistakes and in the end you don’t know how exactly this little human will turn out..all you can do is hope you’ve managed to teach them how to be decent,kind,responsible people..regardless of what their gender identity or sexual orientation happens to be. When people feel supported and free to be who they truly are they’re generally happier and more well adjusted and isn’t that ultimately what we all want for our kids?

Lisa Marie Lentz 8 months ago

9-10 years old is too young to make decisions about sexuality. I would gladly allow my son’s to dress in “girly” colors or play with toys that are designed for girls. However, sexual decisions should be made after the age of 18.

Udana Muldoon-Stewart 8 months ago

Don’t build the closet your children will have to come out of.

Daykara Fritzges 8 months ago

If my boy decides to be transgendered, I had better get to be the one to rename him.

Becky Warburg 8 months ago

I actually had a conversation about “what if our child is gay” with my husband when we were dating and talking about marriage and kids. I wanted to make sure that the man I was going to raise kids with would love and respect them no matter what. Time will tell what comes our way but I don’t think it’s a crazy thing to think about before you have kids.

Kat Whyte Lichter 8 months ago

‘If you aren’t prepared to LOVE your child no matter what, then maybe you shouldn’t have become a parent’ is a bit more realistic. I do and will and tell them often that I love them no matter what, but I’m not prepared for most of what comes our way.

Karen 8 months ago

You make a good point. Great advice for those of us in the trenches.

Evin Cooper 8 months ago

Accept and love your kids. Don’t get so caught up in your bullshit dogma that your child would rather die than deal with you anymore. That’s the point.

Karen 8 months ago

I have a child that is different too. I never really pushed any expectations on him to be boyish. I’m trying to let him evolve to be however is natural for him.
I love reading these stories. I think they bring greater acceptance to these situations that are much more common than any of us would have thought.

Porsche Richardson-Haith 8 months ago

Great article. I think all parents should read.

Jennie Reis 8 months ago

Unconditional love means just that….unconditional. I can’t imagine ever turning my child away.

Jane 8 months ago

Thank you so much for this post. My babies are still both very young and so far I’ve not faced anything like this, but I’ve had it in my head from the moment I knew I was pregnant that I would accept my children for exactly who they are. The only ‘dream’ I’ve ever had for my children is that they be happy. I hope that, if every confronted with a situation like this, that I would be able to stick to my ideals and be as supportive as you are, and that the world wouldn’t judge my babies too harshly. Congratulations to your incredible daughter on being so strongly assured of herself, even as a grown woman that’s something I struggle with.
You’re obviously doing such an amazing job with your little ones, good on you!

DerekandJacklin Jervis 8 months ago

Loving your child unconditionally has nothing to do with agreeing with all of their choices.

Jessica Sanchez 8 months ago

I am so happy that this family feels supportive of their child. It could totally have went another way.

Leslie Downs 8 months ago

Loving a child unconditionally and accepting them for who they are is what being a parent is all about.

Onyx 1 year ago

Great article and great parenting. As the mother of a gay son who is now an adult, I do want to note.. I never let him pull the “gay card” on me. He tried once. I squashed that as soon as it came out of his mouth. He was a teenager. When he first came out, I was shocked because I never saw that coming. Never did I tell him it was wrong. I never asked if he was sure. It was what is was. I knew I had to protect him and more importantly he needed to learn to protect himself. The world out there wasn’t his “safe home and family”. He’s always been able to handle himself and I credit his self esteem and our family’s support. Bottom line… I guess a bit of advice for your daughter. Don’t ever let her pull “the card”. When she does, remind her she is just as special as everyone else but she doesn’t get special treatment for being transgender… she gets special treatment for being a good person, being successful, going to college, finding her passions in the adult world and most importantly.. Taking care of her mama when she’s got the big fancy job. If we, as a society, stop making everyone special based on gender and orientation, the world will stop focusing on it and start focusing on character and accomplishment. Good on you and your family for helping her through her transition. It’s nice to see. When my son came out, it was a time where many of his gay friends couldn’t tell their parents. Those kids had problems adjusting and their parents had no idea the emotional scars that were being left on their child for having to shove themselves in the proverbial closet. I could go on and on. But I’ll stop here. Good job and good fortune to you and your daughter.

Hannah Blazewick 2 years ago

G-d bless you. And your child is such a warm and loving story. Such a lucky child

Too young 3 years ago

I have no problems with transgender individuals. Until they have received a sex change is when you can truly acknowledge them as either being a girl or boy. I think. Feeling like a girl and loving pink things is understandable but how does science come up with this? Is it a lack of hormones!!!! Possibly so. I think this situation is hard very hard and I guess this comes from individuals saying I have been gay since I was 6????? I have been told this before but didn’t believe it. All types of things happen in this world and nothing surprises me. Wish everyone the best : )

Kimberly 3 years ago

I love your story. I love the depths to which you listened to your child. Courage. Love. Acceptance. Jessie is lucky to have you as her parent!

Rachael 3 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are amazing.

Just Jennifer 3 years ago

This is a testament to true unconditional love. Totally awesome!

Kasey 3 years ago

Nice giong mom. You are amazing!!

Angela 3 years ago

I keep coming back to this post and reading everyone’s replies. It makes me so happy to see the support out there for Jessie, and kids like Jessie. Time clearly are ‘a changin’

Kelley 3 years ago

There is nothing sad about acceptance.

Aiden Kaplan 3 years ago

I just wanted to say that my mother (lori Shea) posted above and i come from a family (except my dad) who are filled with love and acceptance of my transition. if anyone with transgender children needs someone to talk to or maybe to help understand why children can understand who they are so soon in life my email is ayejaykap@aol.com and I am always willing to help anyone who needs it. as transgender people we know that the world is a scary place and that are parents are trying to protect us, but all we need from you is love and support, thats the only way we can find our own paths!
Thank you!
-Aiden

Lori Shea 3 years ago

As the proud single mother of a transgender FTM (female to male) 19 year old, I concur with Julie and can appreciate everything that she is going thru. At the age of 13 my son began to live his life honestly and in the gender he identifies with. My son knew that he was the wrong gender since he was very young and looking back I remember saying for years “she’s a tomboy” but in actuality he had begun his transition years before I was aware of it. Once my son had the strength to tell me what he had known for years and had painfully hid from everyone for so long there was never a question of how I would support him. I am extremely fortunate that my son is articulate and an emotionally strong individual. Together my son and I navigated the daily challenges that were presented. We researched together (and separately) numerous support groups, therapists, endochronologists and surgeons all in the pursuit of providing him with a happy healthy life. My only condition to my support was that he make smart educated decisions. I witnessed my child bind himself to hide his breasts so tightly that the bands caused cuts in his flesh and I held my child as he cried from the internal and external conflict of his life. I have stood beside him, supported him, fought for him and held his hand and heart when necessary as he took each step in his physical and emotional transition.
 
The statistics of today’s transgender youths turning to drugs, self mutilation and even suicide is staggering and I was not going to have my child become a statistic.
 
I have read enough and attended enough support groups to see grown adults in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s who have lived a lie their entire lives out of fear of rejection from friends, family, children, spouses, employers, etc. These adults could not live their truth and the pain that they endured, the stories of the sacrifices they have made is unbearable and unbelievable.
 
As for my family, friends, neighbors and business associates of course there were questions, concerns and lots of reflection but I would say that 99% of them got it and got onboard this incredible journey. We have been open and willing to answer any questions and included everyone that wanted to be apart of this process and believe me it is a process. It is amazing the depth of peoples compassion and understanding when they do not feel that something is being forced upon them.

It is truly sad and unfortunate but my x-husband is the only one who could not, would not, still does not support my (our) sons transition. Strange how things work out, my marriage ended way before my son introduced any of us to the world of being transgender, but I know with complete certainty that I would not have done anything differently for my child.
 
We are extremely blessed to live in a public school district that has the most outstanding guidance counselor (KG) and principal (MH). The entire student body, faculty and local community should be commended for it’s role in my sons transition. They truly are a huge part of his success and we are so grateful for the part that each of them has played in his transition. We know that this story could have played out differently and tragically given how cruel kids can be – I wish that every school would model after how his school handled his transition and that every child should have such support.

It is my belief that no one has a right to judge or discriminate against anyone for any reason. I raised all three of my children to among other things: stand tall, hold their heads high and always look people in the eyes and those lessons go for everyone regardless of genders!
 
Do I ever miss and wonder what might have become of my adorable, china skin, curly haired little girl before she grew up into what I thought was a tomboy? Do I ever grieve for the other daughter that I once had? Yes, when I stop and allow myself to go there, but I don’t go there often or for to long because the reality is that my youngest child is an incredibly bright young man who is so talented. He has goals for his future way beyond what I had at his age, he is passionate about writing, music, his photography and he just started his freshman year in college majoring in psychology and gender studies. He is writing a book about his transition, he started a Gender Alliance organization and he continues to blow me away over and over again.”
**************************
Update: My son is now finishing his first year of college, he has been on testosterone injections since December 2009, he had a complete mastectomy in March 2010 and became one of the first two transmen to play on a NCAA volleyball team …..I couldn’t be more proud of each and every one of these accomplishments.

And yes, MY SON continues to blow me away everyday by who he is, what he stands for, the company he keeps and the future he envisions for himself. Isn’t that what we all want from and for our children?
-Lori Shea

karen rokosny 3 years ago

You are an extraordinary person, fantastic mother, and I thank you for sharing your family and life. Prayers for health, happiness & peace to you, Jessie and your family. A truly remarkable role model for all parents, your love and concern for your child being top priority. Thank G-d Jessie has you for a mother. Peace

Nicole 3 years ago

I hope that one day your grown up daughter can look back on this unquestionably difficult time for your family and realize how truly fortunate she is to belong to your family. You are wonderful parents!

Donna George 3 years ago

I am excited that Jessie has you all as parents! I appreciate that it must have been a bit of shock for your child to say that they were born the wrong gender, but the way you have handled it has been fantastic.

My daughter’s other mother (I am the step-mom) took her to counseling when she was 12 because she caught her looking at gay porn, and she wanted to “fix” her to be a good Christian. I didn’t find out about this until a few years ago, AFTER she had already come out as gay to me and her dad. I feel sad that she had to wait to leave her other home to be who she really was. If only I had known back then, I would have let her know how much I DIDN”T CARE about stuff like this. She’s my kid, I love her no matter what. I can tell that you feel the same about Jessie. Much love and joy to all of you.

Lesley 3 years ago

what a beautiful child!

Amelia 3 years ago

Tears sprang to my eyes when Jessie said, “you mean I’m not the only one?”. Isn’t that when we feel our worst, we feel alone in the world? AND WE NEVER ARE. What a blessing Jessie has to have parents who are open and loving to all that she is and may be, in any form.

Zoe Brain 3 years ago

At what point does nurture override nature?

It doesn’t, not in this area.

Some girls are born looking like boys.

See:
A sex difference in the human brain and its relation to transsexuality. by Zhou et al Nature,. (1995) 378:68–70.
Our study is the first to show a female brain structure in genetically male transsexuals and supports the hypothesis that gender identity develops as a result of an interaction between the developing brain and sex hormones

I picked the name “Zoe” when I was 10, even though I was a classic Tomboy. For a girl like Jessie, there’s no way she can pretend to be a boy, as I could.

I didn’t want to be a girl. I just was one.

Pam 3 years ago

Thank you, Jill, for drawing your readers’ attention to this topic! Recently I had the opportunity to go to a private screening of a movie about transgender people (http://www.transthemovie.com/). It was an eye opener. I highly recommend the movie to anyone wanting to learn more about what being transgender means.

Lady Sardonicus 3 years ago

I find this awesome. 5 years ago my little brother came out, and he had this fear that I would not want him around my children (twins 1 boy and 1 girl) who were nearly 2 at the time. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was being ridiculous that we all loved him and supported him no matter what because that is what family is. Unconditional love. If tomorrow any member of my family told me they were transgender, I would support and love them 110%.

Amy 3 years ago

The idea that changing genders is “simple” is a little naive. The child is 10. A 10 year old believes they are an astronaut if they put on an outfit, believe they can bring their parents bck from the brink of divorce by being “good”. We then find out differently with maturity. Im just saying because we cant predict the future, maybe a wait and see approach would be prudent. At what point does nurture override nature?

Allison 3 years ago

First off, Jessie is a girl, so you need to stop saying “he” to describe her. Secondly, I’m pretty sure in the future, if Jessie decides to identify as male, it will be as simple as choosing a male name (or returning to “George”), cutting her hair, and wearing male clothes. I don’t see the issue. I’m pretty sure the only change will be positive. Jessie will know that she is loved enough by her parents to be open and honest with who she is as a person. This means that she will be a healthy, fully functioning adult with full autonomy over her thoughts and feelings. What a shocking concept.

Tara @ secretsofamomaholic.com 3 years ago

Lisa Ling did a story regarding a little boy that shares Jessie’s story. You should definitley watch it if you havent done so already. Just like the family in Lisa Ling’s Our America, I am humbled by your acceptance of your childs need to be who she is. I truly commend you for your bravery- kids can be so cruel in day to day situations- I think that would terrify me. Jessie seems like such a strong, independant individual…traits most people want. I look forward to following Jessie and hope that life treats her well. Hang in there with the many challenges your future holds- I’m sure you will handle them amazingly. You have done so so far.

Kim S 3 years ago

Wonderful story, Jessie is blessed to have you both as parents.

Melissa 3 years ago

Kudo’s to you for being so open to Jessie’s needs. I’d like to think I’d be the same, but it’s so hard to know, sometimes.

Mama Bird 3 years ago

I agree. Thank you.
It’s too sad gender issues and phobias continue to be an issue.
I applaud and support this beautiful family.
Carry on! We have your back.

Mama Bird 3 years ago

Love is accepting and cherishing the person in front of you, not what you thought they might be or should be. You are a great example of unconditional love.

GirlsOnly 3 years ago

I got misty, too. Stories of true love are the best.

Heather Stokes 3 years ago

me to : )

Sadia 3 years ago

I have a princess of a daughter named Jessie too. My other daughter, Jessie’s identical twin, is Melody. Your daughter is fortunate to have parents who see who she is, and not who they imagined her to be. I can only hope that I can demonstrate my love for my girls throughout their lives the way you have for your kids.

Amy 3 years ago

Maybe they are, maybe they arent doing whats right for him. Maybe backing off nurturing this idea will allow nature to take its course. Hes very young and he may down the road end up embracing his birth gender. Then how will he have been changed by these actions?

Johanna 3 years ago

One of my daughter’s best friends is also (according to his parents) most likely transgender. I am blown away by what amazing parents they are to this little boy and I am equally blown away by you.

Both kids are lucky to have their parents and, really, their parents are just as lucky to have them!

The Mommy Psychologist 3 years ago

You are absolutely entitled to your opinion. I’m a bit confused by your last statement, though. You said you “don’t doubt that he is loved” and go on to ask “to what end?” Do you think you could clarify what you mean by that? I would hate to misinterpret that statement.

Eleanore 3 years ago

Wonderful! Jessie is so lucky to have you two as parents; and I can tell how lucky you know you are to have such a wonderful child!

Carolyn 3 years ago

I was struck by how great Jessie was/is and how great you all were/are.
I applaud you and your strength.

wineonmymind 3 years ago

Thanks for a beautiful and enlightening post. What amazing and supportive parents and what an incredible little girl!

Amy 3 years ago

Excuse me for not blindly applauding these parents decision. I’m entitled to my own opinion on this subject. This is obviously a controversial situation. They arent just describing pierced ears and non gender identifying clothes (she said polka dot pink jammmies and on her blog buys him tankinis). They are changing the childs name, what bathroom he uses and call him a girl. This is a very big deal, dont minimize it. This child is just that, a child. I dont doubt he is loved, thats not the issue, just to what end?

TSK 3 years ago

How amazing for your son that he has wonderful parents who he could be honest with. I personally know a few people who have never been able to openly admit to themselves their sexual orientation, much less to their family because they know it would be unacceptable. For this child to come to you as a girl born in a boys body shows trust and faith in your love. So happy for Jessie!

dtt 3 years ago

You are really great parents. My oldest told me years ago that he is bisexual. I completely accept him and love the fact that he was able to be so honest and tell me. My love for my children is unconditional and always will be.

Lynn from For Love or Funny 3 years ago

Wow. I agree with one of the comments above. It looks like Jessie was born in the right family with such loving, accepting parents.

Varda (SquashedMom) 3 years ago

Can I join the multitude here in praising your wise, accepting, loving parenting of your son-turned-daughter? Thank you for sharing your story. I so deeply wish that every child born “different” could have such an insightful, emotionally connected, embracing and supportive family. The world would be a different, kinder place, would that be so.

I am also so glad that the comments here have been so uniformly positive and supportive (with one, mild exception that was addressed eloquently by other readers). That speaks so highly of the kind of lovely site this is and the supportive/ positive nature of the community Jill has gathered here. (I can easily imagine other sites where such a post would have brought out the trolls.)

I know firsthand how children pop out of us being who they are. I have fraternal twin boys, different as night and day, though they have been raised “the same”.

I know your journey will not be without bumps – it can be a cruel world out there for the different – but having you by her side and supporting her will make all the difference for Jessie. Wishing you and your family the best.

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

This is a beautifull story. Your child is very lucky to have you as a parent.
She sounds like an amazing little girl.

shanan 3 years ago

Well said. This type of situation has got to be one of the toughest faced by a parent and to confront it with love and selflessness is an example to all parents. I encourage other parents to look into help from a psychologist when dealing with tough issues.

Marian 3 years ago

Your child is lucky to have parents like you. I wish you all the best on this emotional journey. Thanks for your bravery and for sharing.

Marian 3 years ago

nicely said! Thanks for defending this lovely parent coping with a difficult (and clearly controversial) issue.

The Mommy Psychologist 3 years ago

As a child psychologist, there was no way I couldn’t jump in on this conversation. I can’t help but wonder what you are referring to in regard to the parents motives? From what I see and from all of the parents I’ve counseled, their motives are only to see their children happy and healthy. It may be that Jesse continues to identify as a girl or there may come a time when she decides she identifies as a boy again. Gender is very fluid and not nearly as static or clearly defined as we once believed. The parents who choose to allow their children to transition go through a huge emotional process themselves. They have to grieve the life of one child while simultaneously embracing the new child in their life. Believe me, there is not a parent on the planet who would sign up for the task and these parents should be applauded. They have put aside their own feelings in order to allow their child to be happy. I wish all parents could be so selfless. Okay…I’m done now. I could write a book, but I’ll stop.

Cassie 3 years ago

You are one amazing mamma!! I started to cry at Jessie’s comment about the paper, and continued all the way to the end. I know that feeling, and I’m so glad that she’s getting the kind of support I had from my parents. You’ve got one strong little lady there!

Stefanie 3 years ago

Jessie is so lucky to have you as her parents! I’m sure she feels a huge relief to be able to be who she really should have been all along. And how great that she lives during a time when this is not so strange as it could have been.

I wish all of you luck as you wade into this new life.

Marta 3 years ago

One of my best friends is transgender and I know just how hard that transition and coming out can be when done as an adult. It is so wonderful that not only Jessie was able to fulfill her dream now as a young girl and have a whole childhood of wonderful memories as the person she has always known she is but that she has been met with so much acceptance and love. It is truly very very rare and something to be extremely grateful for.

DesperatelyErin 3 years ago

The true joy of motherhood is watching the surprise of who our child is unfold day by day. Those days when you feel you have peeled back another layer and gotten closer to the truth of who your child is meant to be are amazing. We live for those days. The days we watch them on their first day of school. The days we watch them excel at sports, or friendship, or singing, or showing kindness to strangers. The days we watch them fall and get back up. The days we help them discover who God intended them to be, and we realize maybe just maybe we did something right. Thank you for your story. May God continue to bless your child and your family!

Janine Fitzpatrick 3 years ago

Amazing story. I’m sure there are still many issues to deal with but well done on an being a fantastic mum.

Nicole {at} Modern Style Mama 3 years ago

You are an amazing mother. My own mother who has two gay brothers is understanding but still not totally excepting of it. I am glad I live in this century. My son actually has what could very possibly be a transgender boy in his class. He is so sweet. It breaks my heart to see what the other parents whisper behind his and his mother’s back. I have always very much understood that its not a choice, its in their genetic makeup from the moment they are conceived. They are equally entitled to be loved and excepted. I am proud to see how well you have embraced it and happy those around have also. Such an inspiration to others. I am so happy for Jessie.

Angela 3 years ago

Absolutely amazing story – I cried at PJ Day:

“Jessie had been waiting her whole life for this day. I almost wonder if that was why she felt the need to share when she did…just to ensure the perfect little girl pajama ensemble…”

Still crying. Thanks for sharing. Absolutely amazing story – best wishes for all.

Meredith Johns 3 years ago

If only every parent were as accepting and unconditionally loving and supportive as you. I think the world would be a much better place for all our children. Jessie is a lucky, lucky girl!

Julie 3 years ago

This is fantastic. Thank you.

Alison@Mama Wants This 3 years ago

What an amazing mother you are, and an amazing child Jessie is. You’re both incredibly blessed to have each other.

Rogina Bakey 3 years ago

Great back story!! Jessie is right on track and will live her live on her terms…with a great,loving family behind her. Some of us had Jessie’s interests at her age,and suppressed them for years to “satisfy the norm” of other’s expectations..when really,normal is a setting on a washing machine,not a life expectancy!

Jessica Hollis-Brown 3 years ago

I think this is great, for so many reasons. Great that Jessie found herself at such a young age (because we do, indeed, have the capacity to know ourselves at the age of 10–most GLBT individuals realized early on they were “different”). Great that her parents have embraced, supported, and encouraged her. I hope the community is also similarly supportive, but as long as the family is behind her, she will be ok.

I have a couple of questions. The main one is, as Jessie gets older, her body will begin to change, following a biologically male process. I have heard that many transgendered children take hormone supplements and such to suppress these processes and to encourage the processes of the gender they identify with. Will you be doing this? What about the legal aspects of Jessie’s life, such as what will appear on her driver’s license, passport, etc., eventually? I wonder how easy it will be for her to truly “be” a girl, because society and its infrastructures are so rigid in gender definition. But above all, you’ll get through it. Together.

SMiaVS 3 years ago

Growing out one’s hair, piercing one’s ears, changing one’s name, and wearing non gender-conforming clothes are hardly permanent. Your perspective is sad.

Cristin 3 years ago

I have this kid too. His name is Charlie, for now. He’s 9. We don’t know yet who he’ll be when he’s (she’s?) grown. He doesn’t know yet, either… and when he does, he’ll let us know, because there’s no shame in truth. The only shame would be ours, if we failed him in his hour of need–and we’re *not* going to fail him. We’re so, so proud and grateful he’s ours.

Chin up. You’re not alone, and neither is Jessie. It’s a big beautiful world out here, most days.

Kim 3 years ago

Maturity, personal life experience, comprehension and perspective generally mean there is only one way to live your life. Good for Jessie that her family is only motivated by providing a healthy, happy home for their children. What a wonderful family you all have!

Kim 3 years ago

Kudos to you!! I think that all children should be allowed to “BE who they are” I have a little boy who just turned 7, he is ADHD and could very possibly be on the spectrum, he does have some sensory issues. He loves to play dress up and when he was 3 he wanted to put on a disney princess dress with the little high heel shoes and I was like go for it, who am I to tell him it is wrong, some parents might balk but let them. He loves to play with dolls and he pretends to be a mermaid complete with guns lol, he sometimes wears his shirt around his waist and says it is his dress. Me, well I just sit back and smile, he is so full of love, wonder, imagination! He loves to do both “girl” and “boy” things, why is it that we have to have gender toys why can little boys not play with kitchens or dolls or the like?? Anyhow you can not “make” your child gay or transgender or whatever, they are simply born that way. So whatever he grows to be is fine with me I will LOVE him unconditionally and support him all the way. I want him to grow up and be healthy, Kind, loving (including love himself) confident and HAPPY. Our kids can not truly be happy if they are told who they need to be etc…..WE are their parents ad our job is to LOVE them no matter what and support them. They are the ones who have to decide who they are and what they want in life, nobody else.

Jackie Hennessey 3 years ago

You are not just a parent, you’re a blessing to your child.

Practical Parenting 3 years ago

The new normal sounds amazing…because, at the end of the day, we all just want our kids to be happy, right? Sounds like you have an incredible family. As a therapist, I often see the not-so-accepting side. This post brought tears to my eyes. Amazing parenting. Truly.

Anne Kimball 3 years ago

I applaud you.

That’s all.

Jessie seems like one amazing kid…..

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

The article did say there was a therapist involved, os clearly this isn’t the parents acting alone.

Amy 3 years ago

No doubt this is a complicated situation for a family to face. But, at such a very young age, to be making such lifechanging decisions, without the benefit of maturity and personal life experience and comprehension and the perspective that gives you on life, I fear there may be a small possibility of doing more harm than good, even with the best intentions. And it may be healthy to question the parents motives.

Victoria KP 3 years ago

I have tears in my eyes. If ONLY every kid like Jessie had parents and a community as accepting as you!

Many blessings!

Nellie 3 years ago

This could not have come at a more perfect moment. My son, who I felt is different, told me he wished he was a girl when he was in my belly. I asked him why (knowing the answer) and he said because he would be a girl now…and he likes pink and purple. He’s five and felt so relieved. I told him, Sounds good to me!

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

I agree. its beautiful how supportive these parents are!

Galit Breen 3 years ago

I’m all sorts of teary reading this.

Because of the love and openness you showed/ are showing your daughter.

And because of the love and support others are showing her, too.

(This world is good, yes?)

Mommy123 3 years ago

Sad how? That a child has supportive parents who only want what’s best for her? I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

Arnebya 3 years ago

Your grace and determination to maintain your love for Jessie and accept and acknowledge her independence through this journey is remarkable and admirable, and in all honesty, the epitome of “mother.” This was beautifully written and I wish you the best.

Mommy123 3 years ago

Amazing. I’ve always been a believer that God selects our children and their souls just for us. How true it is in your case – Jessie was born to the perfect parents and I applaud you and your husband for handling what must be at times a challenging situation with such grace. I wish all kids had such understanding and wonderful parents, and I hope Jessie’s road continues to be smooth and she finds open-mindedness everywhere. God bless :)

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

@Andrea I’m glad you said that. I mean to say the same. Very touching that the parents can be so supportive.

Andrea 3 years ago

I just wanted to say that your story truly touched me. To have such acceptance in a world filled with too much judgement is wonderful. Your child is so lucky to have the family you do to accept her and love her regardless. Not all are that lucky! I hope for nothing but the best for all of you!

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

OK very odd, but my wife’s website pre-populated on the last post.

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

What a beautiful and brave post.

Devan McGuinness 3 years ago

Such a beautiful story of how far acceptance and encouragement for our children to be whoever they wan (need) to be can go.

Jenny 3 years ago

Very sad.

Natalie 3 years ago

THANK YOU for being such a supportive mother and helping your child through what must have been an intense roller coaster ride. I will pray that she and you all will continue with great acceptance and joy. Thank heaven for mamas like you!

Jen 3 years ago

Thank you…. for sharing your story. It is beautiful.

Mommy Boots 3 years ago

Thank the gods that Jessie was born to you. Your support and acceptance makes my heart swell, and your post brought tears to my eyes. I have a transgender sibling, so this subject is near and dear to my heart. When you wrote about Jessie shedding her skin, of the sparkle in her eyes and the way she flung herself into school and the destiny of who she was meant to be, I cried. I want my daughter to grow up in a world where it is OK to be who you are – no exceptions. Love to you and your beautiful family.

Amy 3 years ago

This is sad.

Dani 3 years ago

you are handling this new normal with such grace and understanding. i don’t think anyone knows how they would deal with a situation like this until it’s dropped on their lap. thank goodness jessie has you in her life – this is one VERY lucky child.

Kristin @ What She Said 3 years ago

You are the definition of a ‘mother’ personified – loving, accepting, supportive, encouraging, honest, open, and communicative. Jessie is so lucky to have you in her life.

Sandy 3 years ago

This made me cry tears of joy. I grew up with a transgender cousin who loved playing barbies with us, who fought against baseball for fashion shows, who was so desperate for long hair that she’d spend days with pinned towels to her head. It was never an issue of “gay” vs straight, it was an issue of her living her truth vs having to forever pretend to be something she wasn’t. This led to pain, pressure, alchohol and drug abuse, and suicide attempts.
Today she is a beautiful woman, she’s undergoing hormone treatments, and she’s first in her class at beauty school. She is happy.
Loving our children for who they are should NEVER be a question, it should be a fact.

Jenn 3 years ago

Wow. This woman….this whole family is incredible! I try to put myself in their shoes and I can’t. No idea how I’d handle it. But they seem to have made a decision that wasn’t about them…it was about their child, and that’s probably quite hard…especially with Jessie’s relatively young age. I think it’s amazing that they trust Jessie and what her needs are….GREAT story to share today. Thanks!

Mark 3 years ago

Wow, Jessie was totally born into the right Family.
God knows what he’s doing!
m.

Cristina 3 years ago

That is beautiful. She is so lucky to have you as parents. She will be a great motivation for kids who aren’t accepted, and I bet she will help a lot of people.

Gina 3 years ago

Jessie is one lucky kid.

Chantelle 3 years ago

I love this. What an amazing mom, amazing story, and amazing little girl. I am so, so, so grateful Jessie is being raised by such an exceptionally supportive family. I shudder to think of other children like her, who may not be so fortunate. Bless you guys.

Doni 3 years ago

Everyone should love their kids for who they are, not what they want them to be. I hope your ferociousness of love and acceptance becomes the shining example of “that’s how it’s done.” I know that none of this can be easy. Jessie sounds like an incredible strong child who will grow into a well-adjusted woman. Good on ya, Mom!

Kate in Ohio 3 years ago

I have wondered what it would feel like to have a child tell me he was gay. I think and hope I would be accepting and loving about it. I am sure that a transgender announcement would not go as well as it went with you. Jessie is a lucky child indeed. To be able to know who I am and what I want is something I am still looking for, and I am 41.

Leigh Ann 3 years ago

Wow, what a story. I think this is a perfect example of the child and parent being perfectly matched. Although I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, you guys have handled it with dignity and grace, seeming to never having skipped a beat. I wish you the best!

Shar 3 years ago

This touched me. I applaud your complete acceptance. I firmly believe that my child is my child is my child regardless of whether they are gay, straight, or transgendered. A child needs love and acceptance and to be free to be who they were born to be. I love that your family gives Jessie that.

Jayme (The Random Blogette) 3 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Jesse is so lucky to have such amazing parents. This actually made me tear up a bit. =)

Rebecca @ Unexplained x2 3 years ago

Amazing parents equal amazing kids. I’m sure she’s so happy that you are who you are and allow her to do the same. Thanks for sharing.

Eve 3 years ago

What an amazing story of love, strength, and acceptance. I just want to say that Jessie is very blessed to have you as his mom!

liza 3 years ago

you are an amazing mom. this post brought a tear to my eye.

Amanda 3 years ago

This gave me goose bumps!! You are a wonderful mother and so great that Jessie has so much support!! My wish is that more parents could be so understanding and supportive of their children!! I second the standing ovation!!!!

Not a Perfect Mom 3 years ago

wow…what an amazing child you have…you must be fantastic parents for her to be so open and honest, and to not have any fear of what the ramifications in school would be with her peers…
I am simply in awe….

Joanna 3 years ago

You guys sound like amazing parents. Jessie is so lucky to have you. Thanks for sharing your story!

Shannon 3 years ago

I wish all parents were as excepting of their wonderful, amazing and UNIQUE kiddos. Thank God Jessie got you family. 😉

Kristin Shaw 3 years ago

Julie, your strength is incredible, inspiring, and amazing. Thank God Jessie got you as a mom to be so supportive, encouraging, and understanding. *Standing ovation*

Jennifer Rustgi 3 years ago

I give you a lot of credit for being so accepting. It takes a lot of courage to listen to the needs of your child when what he or she needs goes against what is considered “normal”.

I wish you and your family well!

-Jennifer