Is this guy in the wrong for getting upset with his girlfriend for cleaning on his day off? The answer’s a resounding ‘yes’
For those unfamiliar with the genius AITA — Am I The Asshole — subreddit, it’s this magical place on Reddit where people can vent or open up about an argument or issue they’re having in their respective lives, and Redditors swiftly weigh in with their unfiltered, sometimes spot-on, and usually hilarious opinions.
More recently, one of our favorite AITAs was when Reddit shut down a husband who thought his ill wife had to cook for him. But now, user Yeshaoyho’s question “AITA for not lifting a finger while my girlfriend clean the house?” has Redditors all fired up — and quick to give the verdict of “yes, you are the asshole.”
Yeshaoyho starts off his post by saying that he “would’ve totally helped out if she asked but she didn’t ask me” — a phrase most women would agree is the most aggravating, nay, rage-inducing statement ever. And we’re not alone in thinking that.
The most up-voted comment by user NoCountryForBoldSpam says: “YTA, 100% the thing is, nobody asked her to do it either. She shouldn’t be needing to ask you to help her. You should do it out of yourself. The house needs to be cleaned every once in a while, and it’s both of you guys responsibility to clean it. So many guys still think this way. ‘I would’ve helped if she asked.’ She shouldn’t have to ask in the first place.”
But let’s keep going with Yeshaoyho’s post, which amassed a whopping 4,700 comments.
“Anyway my girlfriend was cleaning the house today. She started early in the morning and I wasn’t awake when she started. Today is my day off so I would really like to relax, I slept in today until 11am.”
First off, 11 a.m.? Anytime after 9 a.m., maybe 10 a.m., is a perfectly acceptable time to vacuum.
Yeshaoyho goes on to say that he “expected to wake up peacefully but not really I heard the vacuum very loudly but I just decided to ignore it. I put some headphones on and that was it. My girlfriend is coming in and out of the room to clean and I notice she is looking annoyed.”
Excuse our language, but — no shit.
“Well she walks in one last time and is all [angry] with me,” he continues, “and she starts complaining that she’s busting her has cleaning the whole house and that I don’t have the decency to lift a finger to help her. Well I got really mad at that and I told her this is my day off and I simply want to enjoy it but instead I wake up to the vacuum running and now my girlfriend nagging me. I told her she could’ve ASKED me if she want help but it’s not my response lability. She got even more pissed and then left the house and now my mood is absolutely ruined. I just wanted a nice day off. AITA for not lifting a finger to help her on my day off even though she didn’t ask me???”
Short answer, yes. But let’s read what the rest of Reddit had to say starting off with this extremely important point — “you don’t need an invitation to help.” PREACH.
And then there’s this accurate gem.
Some did defend Yeshaoyho, though.
Sorry, Yeshaoyho, but we’re with most of the AITA Redditors here. This argument between this man and his girlfriend is about much more than her vacuuming while he was sleeping. It’s a common issue that affects many, if not most relationships — sharing the cleaning workload and taking the initiative to get shit done — and we need to spread the good word that, no, women should not have to “ask” or “assign” their S.O.’s to clean. Just do it.
This article was originally published on