Woman Turns In Bumble Match After He Brags About Storming The Capitol

by Kristina Johnson

A New York man wound up in jail after bragging about storming the capitol to a woman on Bumble

As anyone who has ever participated in the storming of a national Capitol knows, the smart thing to do after trying to incite a little insurrection is obviously to brag about it on dating apps to try and impress women. Yet somehow, this foolproof plan backfired on a New York man named Robert Chapman, who was arrested by the FBI on Thursday following some major compatibility issues with a Bumble user he’d been chatting with.

A screenshot of that Bumble interaction shows Chapman boasting about his role in the January 6th riot in Washington, D.C. “I did storm the capitol. I made it all the way to Statuary Hall!” he wrote, adding that he’d also done interviews with the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal while he was there. The unnamed woman on the other side of that chat simply wrote back, “We are not a match.” In the understatement of the century, Chapman replied, “I suppose not.”

But the interaction didn’t end there, because the anonymous queen screenshotted the convo and then got in touch with police. And for good measure, the woman also pointed investigators to Chapman’s Facebook page, where he’d posted about being inside the “CRAPITOL.” It’s kind of shocking that she was able to resist that kind of razor-sharp wit, but good for her.

The woman’s tip enabled law enforcement to track down Chapman and arrest him. He’s now facing several charges including violent entry and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds, and I can’t help but feel she deserves some sort of finder’s fee for doing like 95% of the FBI’s work for them after a brief interaction on a dating app. Iconic.

Chapman is just the latest dude to learn this lesson the hard way: no woman alive needs formal investigative training to figure out what kind of misdeeds a man is up to—especially if they’re going to be dumb enough to put it out there on the internet for all to see. Back in February, another alleged rioter named Richard Michetti was arrested after texting his ex-girlfriend photos and videos of himself at the Capitol—also calling her a “moron” in the process. Maybe don’t insult the person you’re sending incriminating material to?

Clearly, many of the people who participated in the Capitol riots were not the brightest crayons in the box. So far, authorities have arrested and charged more than 400 people and expect to charge at least 100 more, according to CBS News—so it may just be a matter of time until the next genius decides to gloat to the wrong person. Let’s just hope it’s another queen who knows how to keep receipts.