People expecting a cute stuffed bear got… not that
From the product description and photos, Joyfay’s six-and-a-half foot tall teddy bear looks just like it should. It’s got those cute button eyes and a nice smile. It’s wearing a gingham bowtie. It towers above the model that holds it in one photo, which is kind of the idea, when you order a teddy bear that’s taller than most grown men.
But there’s a terrifying detail that the product photos don’t reveal. If you look at them, every full body shot of the bear is taken of it sitting, with its legs stretched out in front of it.
Its legs are really long.
Someone tweeted some photos of the bear, sans any clever angle tricks to hide its nightmarish, spider-like legs, and needless to say, none of Twitter is OK with this bear.
i can’t handle this pic.twitter.com/ExuMvB0vw6
— ♡BeelzebubsBabygirl♡ (@cooltonedcutie) November 9, 2017
Why does this bear look like it's my stepdad now pic.twitter.com/PYoqbpW8dw— OG Tommy Pickles (@OGTommyP) November 10, 2017
Here's a better perspective 🙂 pic.twitter.com/OaEJaO7f23— Michael (@MMosiuc) November 10, 2017
I'm screaming, out loud, what the fucking fuck. That forced perspective is obscene.— Cosmic Inkwel (@Ashisinkwel) November 10, 2017
stop body shaming him— Incognito Mode (@Incognito_Mode1) November 10, 2017
People who bought the bear have also been sharing photos with their reviews, which are just as hilarious as the reactions on Twitter.
More than one review describes it as “creepy,” and for good reason.
Another tells the tale of how his daughter can’t host sleepovers anymore, because the thing gives her friends nightmares. No surprise there.
The perspective of these photos hides the terrifying detail that will for sure haunt your nightmares. As this NSFW review video points out, the bear is all legs in a really creepy, too-human way.
“The photos mostly show a proportional torso and typically oversized head as is common in large, human-sized teddy bears. Where the emphasis is lacking is in the giant pendulous legs that haunt the lower two thirds of this stuffed freak bear,” it reads. “It appears to be some sort of bipedal giraffe bear hybrid. After we took him out of the box with my daughters, I expected it to hop up and sprint away down the street with a fingerless fist raised in victory. My daughter tries to hug the bear and she gets trapped in a serpentine mass of bear legs. She won’t keep it in her room anymore because her friends won’t visit because of the nightmares. Joyfay should sell some sort of amputation and patch kit for parents that want a more desirable short legged bear.”
What’s really surprising is that not everyone is turned off by the bear’s horror legs. Reviews from people who are rightfully scarred for life are few and far between, and 74 percent of people who reviewed the bear gave it five out of five stars.
And then there’s this guy:
Just goes to show, if it’s for sale, there’s somebody, somewhere, who wants it.