When you actually stop and think about it, it’s super weird and legitimately creepy that we decorate for a holiday geared towards children using fake human corpses — bodies that have had enough time to decompose that their rotten flesh has fallen off their bones. But never mind that; it’s almost Halloween, and it’s time to make some skeleton jokes and puns! And, in fairness, skeletons are technically educational: Basically any science classroom, laboratory, or office of an intelligent person in movies and on TV shows has one hanging in the corner. So, if you think of it that way, skeletons are rather versatile. They serve both as a learning tool and spooky seasonal decoration.
Did you know that we have roughly 270 bones in our skeleton at birth, but by the time we reach adulthood, that number drops down to 206? Why? Well, a bunch of our bones fuse together over time. Now you know! Here’s another interesting fact for you: The word “skeleton” comes from the Greek word skeletós, which means “dried up” (just like my bank account).
If you liked that last one, you’re going to love these skeleton jokes and puns — no bones about it.
Skeleton Jokes and Puns
- What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
- Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to dance with.
- What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
- Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
- What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
- Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
- What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
- How do French skeletons say hello?
- What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
- What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
“You’re dead to me.”
- Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
- Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
- Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
- What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
“Will you marrow me?”
- When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
- What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
- Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
- What do you call a skeleton snake?
- How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
- Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
- What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long?
He became bone dry.
- What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
- What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
- Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
- What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
- What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
- What does a skeleton fly in if his scare-plane isn’t available?
- What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
- What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
- Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
- What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
- What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
- What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
- Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
- Who is the most famous French skeleton?
- What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
- Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
- What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
“Looks like you are running a femur.”
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite rock band?
The Grateful Dead.
- What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
- What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
- Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
- What is half the diameter of a skeletal circle?
- Why did the skeleton student stay late at school?
He was boning up for his exam.
- What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
- What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
- What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
- Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
- How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
- What Spanish food do skeletons enjoy most?
- What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
“I’m bone to be wild!”
- Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
- What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
- What did the skeleton say to his wife?
“I love every bone in your body.”
- What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
- How did skeletons send mail back in the olden days?
The bony express.
- How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
- What type of art do skeletons like?
- What do skeletons complain about?
- Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
- Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
- Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
- Why can’t skeletons fly over Area 51?
It was a no-fly-bone.
- What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
- Who is a skeleton’s favorite female movie star?
- What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
- What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
- What kind of birds do skeletons like?