A Mother's Love Letter To A Full Night's Sleep

by Annie Reneau
Olesia Bilkei / Shutterstock

Dear Full Night’s Sleep,

Hi. It’s me. It’s been a while since we last saw one another. I have so much I want to say to you. It’s hard to know where to start. So I guess I’ll start with the obvious.

I miss you. I miss you so hard it hurts.

Things just haven’t been the same since you left. I don’t feel like myself. I’m a little lost, to be honest. You were the glue that held me together, and now it’s like I’m fraying at all ends. You knew how to put a spring in my step — without you I find myself dragging through the day. You were always just what I needed at the end of a hard day. Now I can barely make it through the not-so-hard ones without you.

I didn’t know how good I had it when I had you. You treated me like a queen, and I never appreciated you fully. I should have woken up every morning and thanked my lucky stars to have you in my life. I should have never complained when you weren’t perfect. I should never have taken you for granted.

I feel silly saying this, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I relive our time together and fantasize about you constantly. When I’m staring into the abyss of my kitchen sink, or trying to keep my patience with a whiny child, or being woken at 2:00 a.m. by a kid with a nightmare, I find myself getting lost, imagining you in my bed one more time.

I spend more time than I should daydreaming about a clandestine rendezvous with you. Maybe in a hotel room somewhere? Someplace quiet, away from it all? I imagine what it would be like to bring you into the bedroom, close the door, and let you have your way with me. Doesn’t that sound like heaven?

I wish I had known how much I was going to miss you. I wish I had figured out a way to keep you here a little longer. I wish we could have one more glorious night together, just you and me. I’d give anything to make that happen. Anything.

I know that sounds desperate and pathetic, but I don’t even care. I’m past the point of mincing words. I need you. I need you. I don’t know how to go on without you.

Please give me a glimmer of hope that we still have a chance. Please say it was all a misunderstanding and that you’re going to come back to me soon. Please. I am begging you. I can’t live day after day not knowing if I’ll ever see you again. I can’t.

Please come back, Full Night’s Sleep. I beg of you, don’t leave me like this. I’ll do anything.

Yours forever,

Every Sleep-Deprived Mother on God’s Green Earth