If You're A Socially Awkward Mom, We Have Just What You Need

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

If you’re a fellow socially awkward mom (or dad), we totally understand. Even just being around other people is risky, because who knows when you’ll begin talking about your pet cat who died when you were eight. Maybe you’ll trip over your own feet, or walk into a sliding glass door. You just never know what might happen when you’re forced to interact with other humans.

Fear not, friend, we get it. In fact, there are lots of us. We should probably start a group, but online, where we don’t have to see each other.

Here are 14 items you will totally want if you’re socially awkward.

1. “Leave Me Alone” T-shirt


Is there anything that says “Don’t talk to me” quite like a T-shirt that literally tells people to leave you alone?

2. “Majestically Awkward” Mug


We’re basically this llama-unicorn thing, so your move, other awkward people.

3. “Awkward Stage” Pillow


Oh look, someone put our memoir on a pillow. Neat.

4. Awkward Family Photos Game


No ones knows awkward better than you. You will own this game, probably.

5. Peopley Wine Glass


Guaranteed 365 days a year, people are going to be out there doing peopley things.

6. “Didn’t Want to Come” T-shirt


It’s true, but we’re socially awkward and have a guilty conscience, so here we are.

7. “I Came. I Saw. I Made it Awkward.” Mug


So, if you make it weird wherever you go, is there like a punch card to get free stuff at some point? Cause we’re loyally awkward.

8. “I Like Coffee and Maybe 3 People” T-shirt


And we’re either married to them or gave birth to them.

9. “Don’t Talk to Me” T-shirt


The ultimate excuse for getting out of human interaction.

10. “Too Peopley” Coffee Mug


Let’s just stay inside and drink coffee, forever.

11. “Mornings or People” T-shirt


But please, Janet, go on, we’re dying to hear more about your morning commute.

12. “Crime Documentaries” Mug


Someone pass us our earbuds and chapstick, because it’s about to get lit up in here.

13. “Do Me a Favor” T-shirt


OK, it’s really more of a favor to yourself, because if we engage in conversation, things will probably get weird.

14. “Introverts Unite!” Socks


You know introverts love socks. Not sure why, but we do.

If you’ve ever been caught talking to a house plant, or sneeze-farted at a social event, we feel ya. Solidarity, friends — but from over here.

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