Why I Got My Tubes Tied In My Early 20s

by Caila Smith
Originally Published: 

My monthly cycle typically works like clockwork. Every 28 days, Mother Nature rears her red-headed self to holler, “Yo, girl. You ain’t pregnant! Let’s have a stiff drink to go along with those uterus-yanking cramps and celebrate together.”

And I just want to say, THANK GOD. Because, right now, I think I’d topple over if I found out I was pregnant.

I don’t say that from an ungrateful point of view, I say it from a realistic point of view. We already have two sets of twins, and the money situation (at times) is pretty tight. If we had one more child, we’d surely have to invest in one of those 12-person vans just to haul our herd anywhere. Not only that, but we’d need a MUCH bigger house, far more patience, more limbs, a grocery store-sized pantry, and perhaps a lifetime supply of wine, coffee and fruit snacks to go along with it.

I knew this with my latest twin pregnancy. Therefore, I made plans with my doctor to have my tubes tied at the same time as my C-section.

I mean, I just adored my two twin pregnancies (please tell me you can smell my sarcasm), but this Mama knew she could not go through with it again. Therefore, I now house a happy and empty uterus with a very slight chance of ever becoming occupied again.

Even so, I have a love/hate relationship with those two, fingernail-sized clamps blocking sperm from traveling to my eggs.

The most obvious of reasons for my adoration is that I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant. For real, the hubs and I could get it on like freaking Donkey Kong and there would be little to no worrying about an unplanned pregnancy. (If my mom or MIL is reading this, my apologies for that visual.)

If you weren’t already well-aware from my previous banter, I’m not ready to be pregnant for the very long and foreseeable future ahead.

I was knocked up for damn-near three years straight. My physical, mental, and emotional state of being needs a break to adjust to not being pregnant. So when Aunt Flo makes her timely visit once a month, I give mental thanks to my kickass OBGYN for a job well done and trot about joyfully throughout my non-pregnant day.

But then there are the other parts that come along with getting your tubes tied, and they don’t always come with the most fun of emotions. I was 23 when I first signed the papers for my procedure. Three months following, it was done.

To me, that feels young.

I’m done having kids, but I feel a sense of loss about the fact that I couldn’t have any more even if I changed my mind.

Sure, I could always get reversal surgery. But that in itself comes with potential risks and complications. Not to mention, it takes time for your body to adjust to possibly think about conceiving again… and that’s assuming you can even produce once more. And let’s just say that I was in that rare >1% category of women who becomes pregnant while my tubes are already tied, my chances for an ectopic pregnancy are now much higher.

I believe so strongly in women’s rights. I want everyone to have a sense of power over their own self. But this is a life-long decision, one that shouldn’t be taken lightly because we are stressed about the possibility of one more child.

For those who don’t know, my husband and I had a singleton daughter in between my two twin pregnancies. But horrifically enough, she died from SIDS before I became pregnant with her younger siblings. And wouldn’t you know that I was asked if I wanted my tubes tied many times throughout my pregnancy with her? I teeter-tottered with the idea, but ultimately decided it was far too soon.

I sit here with a grateful heart when I say, thank God I didn’t.

After losing her, I needed another child. And it just so happened we were blessed with two. So if I would have gotten my tubes tied then, I wouldn’t have my rainbow babies who have somewhat softened the hard blow of my other child’s death today. To think that I could still be trudging along throughout my grief without another chance at motherhood, makes me feel sad and empty on the inside.

We don’t know the circumstances of tomorrow. More times than not, getting your tubes tied is a lifelong change. It’s worth more than a few months worth of thought.

There are other effective methods of birth control. For me, those didn’t work. But maybe for you one would would. It’s not worth having doubts about if you aren’t 100% certain. Trust me, I know.

But, if you’re sure, it’s an option that I’m glad exists.

As I say all of this, I can also say that I love having my tubes tied. Like I said, it’s a love/hate relationship.

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