If Starbucks Did Springtime Seasonal Flavors

by Kim Bongiorno
Originally Published: 

I’m not a betting gal, but I’d wager that there’s a bonus for the Starbucks employee who comes up with the wackiest coffee drink to feature in stores every fall and winter. It all started with the Pumpkin Spiced Everythings, and then somehow twigs and flan and stuff normally found in questionable trail mix started making appearances on the menu.

Now when I take my long walks through autumnal fields during the first snow of the season, I don’t know whether to sip my coffee as-is or add nature’s bric-a-brac from underfoot to my cup.

Alas, now spring is upon us, so the toasted nutty fruitcake Frappucinos and their friends have gone into hibernation. What will I drink now? And where are the Springtime selections?

Since I’ve yet to see anything on their fancy chalkboards that suits my fancy now that it’s finally sunny out, here are some of my suggestions that incorporate the springtime equivalent of cinnamonny tree bark lattes. Enjoy!


Leaf Bud Arabica con Leche

Flat White Forsythia


Soccer Cleattaccino

Café con Pupa

French-Roasted Easter Basket Grass

Chai Mucous Latte

Frothed Honey Birdseed Blend

Antihistimine a la Mode

Bulletproof Crocus

Robusta Lawn Trimmings


Dandelion Detox Iced Tea

Bulb Sangria Slush

Potting Soil Blended Beverage

Weedy Lemonade

Bird Bath Breezer

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