Why We Need To Stop Calling It A 'Midlife Crisis'

by Christine Organ

For the love of all things holy, can we please stop using the phrase “midlife crisis” when referring to folks in their 40s?


We are simply fed the fuck up, and not dealing with nonsense anymore. Basically, we are not here for your bullshit and we’re going to let you know.

We might seem like we’re making rash decisions when we get that new tattoo or dye blue streaks in our hair or quit our job. But these decisions aren’t impulsive. In fact, we’ve been waiting our entire life to do these things. We were just too scared or worried or shy to do them sooner.

We might seem a little emotional or dramatic. And we are. But the truth is, we’ve always been emotional. We’re just done pretending we aren’t thinking, feeling humans anymore. So we cry at diaper commercials, and hug our kids a little too long, and say “I love you” to just about everyone.

We might even seem angry and edgy at times. And we are. Because if you aren’t a little angry, you aren’t paying attention. And we’re too tired to pretend that the world isn’t a dumpster fire anymore.

Sure, we might stay home more and seem anti-social. But we’ve just gotten more particular about who we spend our time with and what we spend our time doing.

We might seem impatient or high maintenance or extra. But that’s only because we’re done settling for less than what we deserve, and we are totally done with all things fake – whether it’s people or ice cream or cheese. Bottom line: We aren’t here for your bullshit.

We might have a few extra pounds around our waist. But NBD, we’ve just gotten sick of starving ourselves to fit some unrealistic measure of beauty. (Also we’ve nixed the fake ice cream and we only eat the good cheese so, yeah.)

Sometimes we feel angsty and unsettled, like the world is making us batshit bonkers. Because IT IS. I mean, have you looked around lately? It’s a shitshow.

We want to travel to faraway places or live off-grid, but we also want to stay home in pajamas for days on end while watching Instagram stories. Because the world is big and beautiful and overwhelming all at the same time.

Yes, we ask big and deep questions about life and death, love and loss. We want to talk about politics and religion and why movies from the ‘80s are so problematic now. We’re sick of focusing on the superficial. Small talk bores us. Truth be told, it always has.

With aging parents and growing kids, we are acutely aware of the swift passage of time and we aren’t wasting it anymore. We are embracing the IDGAF attitude so that we can save our fucks for the things that really matter.

We aren’t losing ourselves (or our minds); we are simply becoming who were all along.

So no, there is no crisis.

We have just decided to live our best life, starting immediately.