Suddenly, It Sucks To Be Mom to a Charlotte

by Patricia Jean
Originally Published: 
For months, we mulled over the perfect name for our little lady.

We loved the name Olivia, but we didn’t choose it because it was in the top three most popular names, and we wanted to be a little more “unique.” We considered Avery and Caroline, but in the end, we settled on Charlotte because we didn’t know a single person who had named their baby Charlotte.

I guess I live under a rock and apparently need more friends.

I went to a Baptism class a few weeks ago and the lady sitting behind me had a Charlotte too. When we actually got our daughter baptized, the baby sitting next to us? Another Charlotte. And now, the biggest blow of them all – the freaking Royals had to go and name their baby Charlotte.


Anyone else in the world could name their daughter Charlotte and I would totally be like, “yeah man, that’s cool, you have great taste,” but the Princess of basically the entire Planet? I mean, honestly, is it too late for me to change my child’s name, because we all know that now she’s going to be one of like ten thousand “Charlotte’s” in her class.

Seriously, I’m considering changing her name. It doesn’t sound like it would be too hard, except it would be a huge pain in the ass to have to explain to everyone why we changed her name when she was six months old. Our friends and family would definitely think I’m crazy, and we have a bunch of shit with her name on it that we’d have to get rid of. I guess I could send all the monogrammed stuff to Kate & William and maybe they would send me a hand written note with some doughnuts like they did for those people waiting outside their hospital. That’d be cool.

Of course, I don’t personally know the Royals (though I’m certain Kate and I would be besties), so it’s not like they’re copying me or anything. But still. For at least the next 5-10 years, Charlotte will undoubtedly be the most popular girls name. And it sucks.

To my Charlotte: I’m forever sorry that we failed you on the name front. I’m fairly certain this won’t be the only thing I fail at over the next eighteen years, so you should probably saddle up. At this point, the best I can do is come up with a good nickname for you.

Related post: Oops, I Chose The Wrong Name For My Kid

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