Taking Back Halloween

The last few years, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: Curmudgeons are trying to take away our holidays. You may not have taken notice, though, as this group sets about their task in an insidious manner…

It starts around this time of year, as these curmudgeons hate the Big Three (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). They hate the joy that accompanies these holidays but, more importantly, they hate the gluttony. You’ll begin to read the articles: “Skinny Your Thanksgiving”. “10 Tips To Avoid Gaining Weight During the Holidays” and  “Healthful Halloween Treats”.

Inevitably, we’re bombarded with tips like “Eat before you go to a party” or “Fill up on the veggie tray.”  Um, excuse me? The veggie tray at a holiday party is an insult to joy-makers everywhere. I don’t care if you go on an 80-day cleanse right up until the holiday party. You show up to MY party, you show up hungry…or else.

I, for one, am standing up to these hate mongers.  I picture myself like Mel Gibson in Braveheart –- blue warrior face-paint and all: “They can take our lives. But they’ll never take our holidays!”

Of course, I adore Kristen Howerton over at “Rage Against the Minivan” and I wholeheartedly agree with her post last year about taking the holidays down a notch. If one more person asks me to craft a leprechaun trap on St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to go Alec Baldwin on their asses. And that ain’t good. I’m talking the big three here, people. And I’m starting with Halloween.

Remember the good old days? The days before social media made everyone a life expert and a craft genius? Like the wonderful lazy days before Pinterest ruined our lives? People weren’t making spooky fingers out of carrots and hummus. They weren’t making pumpkins out of f*cking clementines and celery sticks. And they sure as shit weren’t crafting “boo-riffic” goddamned bananas! And that skeleton you crafted out of veggies? Don’t make me tell you where you can shove that.

No – back in the day, we ate ourselves senseless and gorged on things like Butterfingers, ghost-shaped marshmallows, candy corn, and a plethora of other treats derived from processed goodness. That’s right –– I said processed!

Do you want to know how I plan on spending Halloween? I’m kickin’ it old school. I’m going to coach my kids on the ABC’s of a good Halloween. A) Always trick or treat where the rich people live (duh). B) Binge (and binge and binge again). C) Coconut is for chumps. We’re going to target the houses that give out the CostCo candy (that’s right, the whole effing candy bar!) and egg the houses that try to give us some sort of homemade shit or raisins. Raisins on Halloween will cause a Zombie apocalypse. True story.

Mommy’s going to ensure they choose all her faves when given a choice (bitches gotta get paid, yo). We’ll eat plenty of it as we walk from house to house because that’s just good for energy. And then we’ll get home, throw the loot on the ground, count it, and eat some more! I’ll be there for them during the inevitable sugar crash. And I’ll be there when they pass out on the bed after watching Hotel Transylvania PAST THEIR BED TIME. We are rebels (again, picture Mel Gibson)!

Sure – the next day, we’ll regain our sanity and our composure. I’ll dole out the candy within reason and give the rest to our doctor’s office. We’ll eat clean. We’ll live by the rules. We’ll re-enter society.

But it’s one day, people. One day! And we’re going to treat this holiday like the little bitch that it is.

Are you with me?

Related post: The 10 Stages of Choosing a Halloween Costume

About the writer

Marnie is a freelance writer and mom to two nutty boys – Finn, 5, and Declan, 3 (and 2 two chubby pugs named Fred and Olive). When not writing, she's usually working out or cracking a bottle of Malbec. Screw moderation. You can find her irreverent mommy blog at LoveButBlog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.

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Heidi 5 months ago

“NOT DISNEYCHARACTERWEEN” Lmao!! Omg I love that! I’ll probably use that line on my DD4 this year. I strictly forbid princess costumes and all tv characters. Halloween is about unleashing your imagination….we do homemade costumes of mummies and vampires and swamp monsters and other such ridiculousness.

Jill 10 months ago

All the way with you on this one!!

I am the Class Mom that all the other moms hate b/c I’m the one who sends in the sugary icing coated chocolate chip filled cupcakes with monster eye gumballs on top!! yes, folks, that is the way to do Hallowe’en class treats!
And we hand our proper chocolate candies as well. We let our kids binge – they don’t anymore, they’ve learned the hard way, but the option is there for them.
This year with it on Friday night, we’re going to be up half the night watching scary movies, because, why shouldn’t we? That’s how I grew up, and thats how my 4 tween-teens are growing up!
Hallowe’en Proper!!

pkhalls 10 months ago

Yessssss!!!! Love this!! We’re so excited for trick or treating tonight :)

crystal 10 months ago

Love this! Halloween is our fave holiday and we go all out. Halloween is the one day a year that we can do as we please and be what we want to be without judgment. Its the one day a year that we can go crazy with the color black, evil decor, awesome face paint, and scary to crazy costumes. There are no limits with halloween. Honestly, halloween hangs out throughout the year for us in some ways just because we love the black roses, some of the porcelain and ceramic decor, as well as the color black. If you don’t like halloween, dressing ip, or jink food then by all means stay home and leave uour lights off or stay home and feed those of us who enjoy it the junk food we crave. We don’t judge you so why judge us. To all of uou who celebrate…have a very happy spooktacular halloween!

Jae 10 months ago

I totally agree with you! In our neighborhood they promote an event called trunk or treat. That’s not halloween. I still buy candy and decrate the house to let the neighborhood kids know I’m candy and kid friendly. I even answer the door in costume.

Jean Schnabel StClair 10 months ago

Yes they were but they used immagination nstead.i

Oh dear 10 months ago

Still an uncommon occurrence. It takes a lot of effort to tamper with candy. Unless the person has access to risen poison, I’d say chances of candy tampering are pretty slim.

Christine Culotta 10 months ago

I guess I was a fan of Martha Stewart way before Pinterest. Now, I give little bags with curly ribbons, stuffed with toothbrushes, mini toothpaste, hand sanitizer, purse size tissue, & the miniature 10 packs of baby wipes! I sometimes, throw a pedialyte pop to the mother, and say just in case! And grab a stash of coupons from the office for formula & / or diapers for infants or moms that are expecting!

Leanne 10 months ago

I am with you 100%!!! I swear- if I have to hear about another recipe for a nut free, gluten free ‘treat’ that tastes like tree bark…I’m gonna’ hurl! When the heck did the peanut become the most toxic substance known to man?

Let the kids be kids! Let them dress up, have a crappy dinner washed down with a pound of candy. It’s only one day a year! Did it kill us? Nope! When did everyone become so uptight?

Agree….You gotta work for that candy and yes….bitches gotta get paid, Yo! Our parents always collected the ‘parent tax!’ We’d trick-or-treat for HOURS collecting enough candy to keep a small army cracked out on sugar for a week!

If you’re crafty- great! If not, who cares? Not everyone can be Martha Stewart or Betty freakin’ Crocker! I’m crafty but not great with cooking. And? Thou shall not judge! I love holidays, decorating for them, and just enjoying them.

Until I became a parent- I never knew it’d be the MOST competitive job I’d ever have! Let’s take back the holidays!

Choppy 10 months ago

SAVE THAT CANDY!
Use it for the decadent Thanksgiving pies & Christmas cookies.
We just discovered that after 12 years the youngest has an ‘allergic reaction’ to CHOCOLATE…. guess who finally gets ALL the chocolate yummies!

Jennifer Brown 10 months ago

I don’t get the point of trying to bring a Mom down. If a Mom wants to do healthier Halloween treats, and has time to do the Pinteresty stuff, more lower to her. If a Mom doesn’t have time, or the patience, to do something like that, and goes for candy, more power to her too. We have a diabetic in the family, so we try to go light on the candy. I can only imagine how awful Halloween is for parents of kids with food allergies. Parenting is hard damn work, why don’t we all just celebrate that we’ve raising happy kids and leave it at that??
Having said that, the people who drive their kids door to door drive me insane. Just walk the block with your kids.

Allison Diehl 10 months ago

Hear hear! I do think you should park and make your kids walk if you drive them to the “rich” neighborhood or any neighborhood. I see people driving house to house in our neighborhood (which is not upscale). Absurd!

Lin Blaisdell 10 months ago

For those critics out there my kids eat candy (even huge trick or treat hauls) in extreme moderation usually choosing raw fruit and veggies as munchies. They choose active play over video games a majority of the time when given the choice. Because of naive arguments like yours the calorie standards set for the sedentary lifestyle are what their schools go by. What use to be healthy fulfilling school lunches i.e. raw fruits, raw veggies, lean proteins, low carb based meals are now starvation inducing calorie restricted for growing active kids. Not to mention a BMI that sees my health slender active 10 year old as border line fat and my pudgie 6 year old junkie as healthy. So back off and let my kids be kids while they can.

Christine Najarian-Spencer 10 months ago

SO true!!!

Marie 10 months ago

I agree! My mom did it for me and I turned out just fine (in my opinion) and I will do it for my baby as well!

We are gonna party hard and yes the rich side of town gives out GREAT candy!

Lisa M. Katsanevas Walker 10 months ago

You obviously don’t have a child with any food allergies. :/

Kylie 10 months ago

I agree but what is the rest of the Halloween ABCs?

Diane Gerwood 10 months ago

These comments are so great!

Michelle Fenton 10 months ago

Childhood obesity is at record highs in this country. Americans have the fattest people. Stop with the excuses to feed yourself junk. There is nothing wrong with healthy treats. Yes, one day can kill you. Sugar is an addictive substance. Then you wonder why your kids are fat & have rotten teeth!

Chelsea Anglin 10 months ago

We carve a pumpkin every year using sharpies to draw the face and a kitchen knife to cut it up. No saw blades, patterns, etc.

Kim Johnson 10 months ago

Ha!

Karry Karlstad 10 months ago

Lmao! Damn right!

Ooops, I Said Vagina again. 10 months ago

Honestly…that picture has full size candy bars! MAJOR points for the full size candy bars. That is as crafty as I get….full sized candy bars…

JaelynRae 10 months ago

Courtney – YES! Thank you! Just because we have the knowledge available to make better choices now does NOT mean we are depriving our kiddos of anything!

In an effort to ensure our kiddos do not miss out on anything, I will order the equivalent of nearly all the popular garbage candy(because unfortunately I can usually only find it online) and will trade them 1:1 for their Halloween candy. I will carry a small bag with me while we Trick Or Treat so they can have some right away and we make a game of trading the rest when we get home. They have fun with the negotiation process for items that are not quite an exact match. I let them have a few of the other “processed” candy last year and they both (ages 8 & 12) spit them out and said they were “gross” in comparison.

So to the author, I am sorry but I will NOT feel guilty about caring more about my kids than their ability to gorge on processed garbage for the sake of a holiday.

Also just an FYI, every year we give out organic fruit snacks and homemade lollipops (like those giant round ones that we sold at school fundraisers that barely fit in your mouth, with flavors like Strawberry Cheesecake). My lollipops are made from real, simple ingredients, nothing modified, processed, refined or preserved. My flavor choices are limited to natural ones but you know what? ALL of our neighborhood kids agreed that we gave out the BEST tasting treats and many came back more than once! Sure I could spend $10 for several giant bags of crap like everyone else. Instead I choose to spend well over $50 (we get a LOT of Trick Or Treaters) to offer something better.

Its the kids that get the junk everyday that recognize it when something actually truly tastes good, without the subtle (or not so subtle) chemical aftertaste. As a test last year (because my hubby claimed as the author does that I was “depriving the neighborhood kids of the goodies we got as kids”), I had two bowls of candy to choose from. One had my homemade lollipops and fruit snacks and the other had a mix of the (not mini, but not full size) popular candy bars and I let the kids choose. The only ones that chose the candy bars where the teenagers and despite only buying one bag, I still had over half a bowl of the junk candy left over and had to re-fill the other bowl 3 times that night.

Kate Austin Spina 10 months ago

Awesome!!! I’m also sick of the lets be healthy all the time mantra. Getting candy once a year is not going to kill anyone.

Nikki Fugett Dobens 10 months ago

I avoid all things pinterest. It makes me feel like a bad mom. lol I miss the days before all this. :)

Amanda 10 months ago

OLD SCHOOL! OLD SCHOOL! OLD SCHOOL! OLD SCHOOL! OLD SCHOOL! OLD SCHOOL! Keepin’ in real…. Halloween is SCARY! Not cute…. Seriously, figure it out people. I live to scare the crap out of people on Halloween, it’s kinda my thing. SPOOKYS FOR EVERYBODY!

Sylvia Surratt Johnston 10 months ago

I totally agree. I would let my boys eat their Halloween candy-earnings for that evening, then the following weekend. After that, it went away to the ghosts and goblins that walked the earth the rest of the year to keep them away from our house (gotta pay the ghost tax…ha ha) After they were too old to trick or treat, and YES people don’t let your friggin TEENAGERS *16, 17 year olds…UGH trick or treat…..We ALL dressed up and scared the BaJEEZees out of all the tricksters that came to our house for HUGE CANDY BARS! GO OLD SCHOOL Halloween!!!!

Obaynne Dawnstar 10 months ago

I’ve never lived anywhere where we got a lot of kids to the door but I always get three boxes of candy to hand out (making sure there’s a peanut free option because I had friends with allergies as a kid and they never got to go out) and because of never getting lots of kids there’s always handfuls to give away.
I however am pretty mean to my kids – they are little and can’t walk far so they never bring in much candy – therefore they don’t get much lmao
One or two things that night then one or two things till it’s all gone. After I take all the chocolate and not sour gummies the first night of course lmao

Susan Vanderbeck Luci 10 months ago

True! I do agree with this…

Deborah Ellison 10 months ago

Funny!

Nancy Wiz 10 months ago

Totally agree with everything you wrote! And I still give out full size candy bars because kids don’t get them anymore on Halloween. They wouldn’t believe our entire haul, years ago, was ALL full size candy bars!

Melanie Hendrickson 10 months ago

Rock it Momma! We agree whole heartedly with this. I have always, taken my kid out and for a few years we stopped. Not alot of people participate in the Halloween tradition here anymore. But, I still found the neighborhood that does and you better believe we will be doing it again this year. Why shouldn’t our kids have the great fun we used too? Whether I’m a fricken diabetic or not I don’t care. I will have a couple pieces of candy and fun in watching my little one run door to door. I will go through each piece of the candy mountain at the end of the night and make sure it’s safe. I hell with the apples, and shit. That all goes directly in the garbage. Thanks for keeping it real Momma!

Melissa Miller 10 months ago

This is how we do Halloween ! :))

Courtney 10 months ago

While I understand and miss those days. I’m not ignorant to the crap that’s in everyday candy now. My kids get homemade cookies and cakes and candies choc-full of real Chocolate and not processed refined sugars. Matter if fact, every time I have given them a “treat” of the crap I ate as a kid they barfed. I think we should stop bitching about other parents’ choices altogether. I mean that junk candy is like a couple bucks a bag. If you hate the homemade or crafty stuff that much go buy you kid some more candy, I hate that it has to be so hostile. Whatever happened to minding your own business and letting people raise their own families? I’m sure your kids enjoy your traditions as much as mine do ours. No need for such bitchy nonsense.

Josie 10 months ago

Hey there Pamela, did you know there has never been a documented case of poisened Halloween candy? No, I tell a lie, there was one case a few years ago where a kid’s dad did it. Nasty custody battle. But that’s it! Eat your candy in assurance!

Michelle 10 months ago

Hell yeah I’m in!!!! I’m glad I’m not alone in the sugar rush and it’s my son’s bday that day too so I’m preparing for all yummy goodness :)

Lisa Swift 10 months ago

I’ve heard that people drive their kids to the ” good neighbourhood ” to trick or treat ?seriously ?

nuru 10 months ago

I grew up in the country so we went to our 5 neighbors and then in to town to my grandparents and maybe one or two family friends. For us the fun part was the costumes and carving pumpkins and decorating. Now I’m in the city and it’s fun to see all the little ones out and about. I don’t even mind the teens, if they at least put a little effort in but I figure if they are out trick or treating they aren’t drinking, causing trouble or fucking! I buy little bottles of booze for our parent friends too…

Mindi Spenner 10 months ago

I 100% agree but I think this has come about because Halloween isn’t one day anymore- it’s a month with 53 parties. My gawd, don’t get me started on Christmas. Someone seems to hand my kids a piece of candy nearly very day of the year for some reason. Someone I the class has a birthday. The counting and estimation jar. They lined up quickly. They started school. They finished school. The class finished a book. Their class had the most permission forms turned in. Granted, when I serve carrot sticks- it’s out of the bag. I’ll still let them go nuts on the day but I sure do wish we could tone down the rest of the year.

Sarah Mason 10 months ago

We just had a kids’ Halloween party and we DID make those things! I couldn’t just serve candy so we did the boo-nanas, the oranges with the celery stalks, cheese slices cut out with cookie cutters, and grape kebabs with candy eyes. It was so fun! But we also gave out candy in the treat bags and had cupcakes on the table. I think all the crafty food stuff is fun and it was just as fun as decorating the house!

Dotti Eiker 10 months ago

You are right on.

Stewart Sabrina Carboni 10 months ago

Lol… I conquer!!!!!

Amanda Akers 10 months ago

Jennifer Quam Howell hilarious. While pinterest carrots and humus are totally cute and healthy choice idea, which I like…totally ok with going back in the 80s style trick or treating. There’s a bag of kit kats waiting to be enjoyed in my garage.

Porterhouse 10 months ago

Yes! Bring on the chocolate!

Nancy Metzgar 10 months ago

Just HAD to share this!

audra 10 months ago

Yes!!! It is ridiculous what people are trying to do to these holidays. There is a group of mothers in our elementary school who are trying to take away sweets and candy from the Halloween parties. No candy? What holiday do you think it is? The holiday is solely about candy. We are NOT having carrot sticks and water in our class. Not if I have anything to do with it. Bring on the chocolate!

Jodi Weiser 10 months ago

Preach it!

CarlaJo Allen 10 months ago

Some Moms are so busy trying to look perfect for other Moms, they forget what it’s really all about

Melissa 10 months ago

I love this! That’s the way we do Halloween too.

Emma Grubbs 10 months ago

I will make sure my daughter experiences real trick or treating before it dies completely.

Robyn Seley 10 months ago

I love the descriptions, made me giggle

Soledad 10 months ago

My mother the horror lover raised me in a household with love, fun and tons of scary movies and fantasy. I watched High Spirits, Beetle juice and oddly enough Cat People (82) with intense passion. I am a bright (over 200 IQ) well adjusted woman who still LOVES Halloween, our Dia de los muertes and anything supernatural, horror…magical. I watch Witches of East End like it is a telenovela. This modern society SUCKS. Religious persecutors are everywhere, I swear if they could they’d bring the Witch trials back. I see more closed minds than ever and ridiculous child rearing “rules”. My son and infant daughter are going to be exposed to all my childhood loves and hopefully find their own as well. My son already has worn out his Pied Piper book and his collected tales of Washington Irving. My son loves scary things and especially Witches, and good books! We have a Wolfman prop on our steps and have decorated our Xmas tree with orange lights. Mostly getting raves but a view hate it and think it is too “scary”. People are getting crankier about decorating as well, even Xmas is not like it used to be with all out fun decorating.
Also, who is buying all those Monster High dolls?

Deirdre 10 months ago

Great points, but don’t forget Kristen Howertons post about child labor in chocolate. We give out candy, just not candy made by other children in slave labor. I can’t afford that much fair trade chocolate so we give out sugar treats, Nerds, smarties, Laffy Taffy, Rice Krispie treats, etc.

Shelly Summerton Gregg 10 months ago

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!

Aniela Payne 10 months ago

YES!!!!

Sarah 10 months ago

Hell yes!!!

Amy Kress 10 months ago

My house is a candy house (and a GOOD CANDY house too) but my classroom is clementine jack-o-lanterns and boo-nanas all the way. They get a cupcake and some chips but I’ve had too many kids miss trick-or-treating because they stuff themselves with munchkins and barf on the way home. Mostly it’s because of all the “last minute extras” people want to bring in.

Mel 10 months ago

In our area, there are designated times and dates for each suburb and there will be no candy if you deviate…some towns do it the weekend before for the parents who all work and can’t get home early enough to T or T on weekdays. I thought it was weird when I first moved here, but it works…and some kids go more than once. :)

Emily Owen 10 months ago

We enjoyed it as children…. Let your children enjoy it…..they are only there once!!!! Think back!

Carrie Zoll DeNote 10 months ago

Whatever we like our crafty movie nights and not having diabetes.

Fabiola Perkins 10 months ago

OKAY!

Melba Sutton 10 months ago

My maternal grandmother would ask the children to do a trick before they could have a treat…she made popcorn balls.

Earlene Lapierre 10 months ago

For everyone’s info, this was my daughters creation and it was the week for snakes for her daughters class. The school likes healthy snakes, so she makes a creation that the kids eat and enjoy. This was not a party.

Willa Jean Gibson 10 months ago

So are you going to make meatloaf feet with onion toenails with splashes of catsup?

Christy Marie Dulle Coffman 10 months ago

I have no problem with the craft people, but if any of my kids candy is open or is not store bought, she doesn’t get to keep it. you can’t afford to trust your child’s health to anyone you don’t know.

melissa 10 months ago

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this article!! And I read the one you’ve referred to up there, last year, and agree as well. You’ve said it all. Its 1 day!! People need to stop over thinking some things and best yet, there are far more legitimate causes to put their passions to.
Well done.

Maryellen Horgan-Currier 10 months ago

Very funny!

Cheryl Merritt 10 months ago

Don’t worry about the candy tax…everyone in my hood knows its coffee and baileys to go for the parents. Geez they even bring their own to go cups now!

Aimee Monahan 10 months ago

No shit!

Erika Enstrom Winters 10 months ago

These are way funny…..

Mike Gallagher 10 months ago

Love it. Happy Hallowen,let kids be kids

Nicki 10 months ago

AMEN! Let them be kids and make them brush their teeth for an extra minute! Eat all the candy you can kids and throw the raisins, goldfish, pretzels, mini bibles, and whatever other stupid “treat” someone tries to pass off as healthy back in their non Halloween bowl!

Heather Smith Banek 10 months ago

LMFAO! I love this woman!

Vivica McCray 10 months ago

Who the hell has time for that shit anyways.

Shirley Kokansky 10 months ago

Don’t listen to the Mommy complaints.

Amber Marie Schnell 10 months ago

What’s the deal with everyone hating on creative people lately? Newsflash: Not everything is about you!

Diane Mendoza Mozaffari 10 months ago

Haha. That was funny

Taryn 10 months ago

Thank you! )I also have a 3yr old Declan.) I try to cut out the majority of processed food, follow whole food blogs and I’ve been thinking about trying to do something non- candy for Halloween- you’re right it’s one day. Thank you for making me feel better about letting go!

Sarah Hunt 10 months ago

I’m definitely not crafty. My attempts are comical. But I don’t get all the defensiveness about other people being crafty. Yeah, don’t be a smug priss about it, but in general, what’s the harm here? I don’t feel threatened by the occasional carefully crafted, upcycled, mod podge “Boo-tastic” knick knack. I’m glad people are doing something they enjoy. Am I just getting too old to enjoy the snarky side of the internet? 😀

Maria Sh 10 months ago

This is a good post. People make too big of a deal out of ONE TIME. yes some things are bad for you. But one day of candy won’t make you obese or diabetic. One hot dog festival won’t give you cancer. If I’m in a restaurant giving my kid pizza or fries, you don’t need to snap a photo on your iPhone and go home and instagram about what a horrible mom I am and how you feel sorry for my malnourished kid and his horrible future health. There is something called fun. Something called treats. This used to be understood, before about 1990-ish when what I call the War on Fun began!

Laurie WJN 10 months ago

LOVE your post & I couldn’t agree more, I’d much rather gain weight and enjoy each and every precious minute of the holidays than limit my self to the veggie tray – limiting my fun is more like it. If a full size candy bar gets kid’s noses out of a video game for the evening then we all win!

Mary 10 months ago

I agree with your attitude. Just praying you are joking about the egging of the houses since that can destroy paint. We just make sure we never go to those houses again.

Our pediatrician told us about their neighborhood. They had previously lived in a sparsely populated neighborhood and gave out whole candy bars. Then they moved to a new neighborhood on a golf course. Fortunately one of the new neighbors warned them about Halloween and said that people from all over the area would bring their kids there for trick or treating. They ended up with almost 500 kids. Each one received only one mini candy bar.
You need to take your kids where there aren’t many kids. We only get about eight kids and they each get a whole candy bar and a can of Mountain Dew. (Get them whipped up!)

Vickie Elsom Grossman 10 months ago

There is always someone better than the rest of us who has to force their way and their beliefs on everyone else. Screw em

Yvonne 10 months ago

I am with you, William Wallace! Lol

Michelle White 10 months ago

She forgot cities and towns that choose another official trick or treating day not on Halloween, because it’s more convenient.

Meggan Weston Strasbaugh 10 months ago

Come to my house, peanut butter cups, the big ones, and no pennies, raisins, or plastic oriental trading crap. Good old fashioned sugar full candy here.

Annamarie Dardano Tucker 10 months ago

LET KIDS BE KIDS!!!!!

Vicci B. Chuc 10 months ago

Sadly I like coconut :/ always have, but I am with you sister. Although my entire family does enjoy a good veggie tray, as long as there is dip, and not that light shit, full calorie, full flavor damn dip. I do let my kids binge every halloween, then I steal their candy when they sleep, and hoard what’s left and had it out like rations in jail. LOL My house is decorated with all the halloween gear, I have it all, love Halloween!

Michelle Hartford 10 months ago

Liked by the woman who snagged “veggie tray” for the Halloween party…Alison hahahaha

Elizabeth Ann Gross 10 months ago

Have you tried the butter finger peanut butter cups – OMG

Helen Rugg 10 months ago

LOVE IT! Hilarious!!

Sandra Tanguay 10 months ago

Love it! :)

Lisa-Marie Dugan 10 months ago

If someone offers my kid a home made treat, healthy or not, that is going right in the garbage. I’m all for candy, all for eating healthy….However, there are too many sickos out there who would put shit in something. Might not be you, but that’s the thing WE were warned about as kids. Plus….candy and chocolate is awesome.

Rochelle Kaye Barrett 10 months ago

Little kids choose from a cauldron filled with pencils, play dough, and non food items, older kids and teens get a handful of chocolate and the adults get Jell-O shots. Everyone gets something with out worry of food allergies or age! I love Pinterest , but won’t be making anything but my Jell-O shots from the website. I grew up in Wisconsin trick or treating on a Sunday afternoon! Pretty much ruined childhood .

Kathy Thielemann Zambrano 10 months ago

We also are getting the bite size candy instead of the regular size candy bars. Oh how I long for the good old days!!

Lucy 10 months ago

I didn’t know starburst and skittles may have peanuts in them? Hot tamles. Sour patch kids. Trolli…. I could go on.

Maria Mayo 10 months ago

Lmao lmao lmao!!!!

Al’s Lamporium 10 months ago

ITS ONE DAY!!! I hate people who are so worried about calories they take the fun out of their children’s life.

Teresa Carney Wells 10 months ago

LOLOL

Sharon LoVerde Greenhut 10 months ago

I shared it and kids are kids only once!

Denise 10 months ago

YES! I’m with ya! I’ll be trick or treating with my boys, 7 and FIFTEEN. And actually, around here is the middle class folk that give out better candy. Half the “McMansions” around the corner are house poor…and there’s too much space between their houses. BUT, I do have to give credit to the cul de sack parties–these people sit at the house closes to the main street with a fire pit and beer cooler…and a BIG TABLE with 8 or 7 houses worth of candy out. (Then you don’t need to walk back to their individual houses!)

Monika 10 months ago

You my friend are a genius!!!

Chardiggity 10 months ago

Me tooooooo! That’s even what I call it :-)

Courtney Mackey 10 months ago

Man, if somebody wants to be crafty and healthy quit bitching. Don’t make your kids eat it. Whining about those people is just the same as them bitching about your candy. Maybe their kid has diabetes and they want them to feel included? How about whether you hand out candy or something healthy, let your kids enjoy dressing up and having a good time? How about we stop using any slight bit of change as an excuse to bitch about other parents? We do have the largest obese children population in the world. If you want your kids to have more candy, then go buy it or shut up.

Chardiggity 10 months ago

This was hands down my favorite line!

Ashton Roberts 10 months ago

I totally agree. We have to eat pretty healthy at my house because my son has a lot of digestive issues, but Halloween and other “gluttonous” holidays are the exception! Bring on the Reese’s!!

Elizabeth Cornell 10 months ago

Love this!!’

Peper Lockett 10 months ago

I love that you said that ,so many of us aren’t perfect and don’t try to be

Chardiggity 10 months ago

This makes a lot of sense! See, this is what community is all about 😉

Jen Lind Pittenger 10 months ago

OMG, it’s not about the richest neighborhoods. House density is where it’s at. Hitting the most number of houses in the time given.

Echo Burkhart 10 months ago

Hilarious!

Leslie Derby Yep 10 months ago

BEST. BLOG. EVER! Love, love, LOVE IT!

Kyrstin NT 10 months ago

Id rather my kids pig out on thanksgiving and Christmas goodies (not store bought candy) then Halloween. They could (but they won’t)have a stupid butterfinger any time of year. But a glass of eggnog with a pretty Xmas tree is only a few weeks out of the year. ☺️

And no it’s NOT JUST ONE night. You got birthdays, easter (baskets), thanksgiving, Xmas, Valentine’s Day, and don’t try to argue that you don’t have some sort of ice cream pies, Popsicles, or other sugar coated food on July 4th. And there’s still other parties/events/holidays that they are over indulging in. It not just one night.

Susi Janet Gibson 10 months ago

Now that is funny and true!

Shannon Shearburn 10 months ago

The comments on scary mom are hilarious. It seems everyone is trying to win first prize for being the most ambivalent parent.

Parent and let parent-

Steve Gymer 10 months ago

“Raisins on Halloween will cause a Zombie apocalypse. True story”—Awesome!

Mandy Otis 10 months ago

The worst Halloween offense? Even worse than raisins? An effin toothbrush. For real…I’ve seen it done.

Jessy Clark Kyle 10 months ago

I’m with you!!!

Bee Sunderhaus 10 months ago

Happy birthday

Laurie 10 months ago

My grandparents’ neighbourhood was always the best! Middle class, mainly occupied by seniors and trick or treated by their grandchildren. Full size candy bars galore. And if they asked and you revealed yourself to be so-and-so’s grandchild, chances were good there might be an entire sandwich baggie of goodies set aside for you :)

Loran 10 months ago

Hell, I’m with you and we don’t even have Halloween over here. Let’s just tear apart a candy store that night in support of our US friends. Anyone stopping us we’ll go all William Wallace on their ass!

(Before any of those Pinterest moms go reporting this, it’s a joke shhheeeesssshhh)

Rochelle Sterling Thon 10 months ago

I’ve banned myself from Pinterest for this very reason….because I’m so not crafty and everything I try to copy turns into an epic fail and it’s so disenchanting.

Patty Jackson 10 months ago

yea and you didn’t have to worry about the candy or the evil out there

Raven 10 months ago

Slow clap… So awesome!

Christy Bouwmans 10 months ago

agree 1,000%!!! put the fun back in Halloween.

Leti Hansen 10 months ago

I do love this post

Nancyrae Smith 10 months ago

I’m totally with you! I just said in a recent FB post – Halloween is all about sugar, artificial coloring, preservatives and ingredients you can’t pronounce. And of course 1/2 the booty is Mom’s!

Brooke Rhoan-Soshea 10 months ago

Oh shit, this is hilarious and so ME! Good job. Love it!

Laura House 10 months ago

<~~~~ Pinterest mom and proud of it!!! My kids love all the cutesy, crafty stuff — especially if they can help with it!!!

Cynthia M. Salazar 10 months ago

My kids school doesn’t allow them to wear costumes instead its HAT DAY and you have to PAY 10 cents for donating to some cause to be ABLE to wear the hat!!

Kerry Kane 10 months ago

This is anti-progress. The internet was invented to share ideas. Halloween treats should be cute. It’s a kid holiday, and they dig it! Yes I wrap all my lollipops into tissue ghosts with eyes, as my mom did. At 45, I remember it fondly.

Jennifer Patten Dunbar 10 months ago

LOVE this lady!

Roxana Elizabeth 10 months ago

Hahahaha LOVE this article! My little ones aren’t allowed to gorge on their halloween candy just yet, which means more for me! :)

Alixandria Ashbaugh 10 months ago

I am mostly with you on this. But I am the jerk who makes veggie skeletons because we can’t bring candy to our school.

Barrett Crispen Brown 10 months ago

Amen!!!

Jill Peterson Matava 10 months ago

NEVER EVER EVER in all my born days have gotten jacked with candy. And I will ALWAYS guve out candy on halloween!

Edward Lange 10 months ago

HAH!

Janet Bonadio 10 months ago

Ha ha ha!

Patricia Bernreuter 10 months ago

My family likes to use the ideas and see what happens….usually a ‘nailed it’ that brings rounds of laughing bc none of us really care….it’s more fun to see the messed up version!

SC 10 months ago

My kid has food allergies and we just go through his candy and weed out what he can’t have. We have a bag of treats he can have and we exchange them for him. He knows and he doesn’t care one bit. I agree with you.

Kathryn Mink Gutierrez 10 months ago

Might be my favorite post on Scary Mommy, yet! On Halloween, I let my kids go nuts on the sugar…why? Because I want to go nuts on the sugar!!

Stephanie Vergara 10 months ago

I just want to marry Scary Mommy. You all are the best.

Amy Magarity Messina 10 months ago

Scary mommy I love you!

SC 10 months ago

What about this “Switch Witch” crap? Have you heard of this? Last year a couple of families nearly ruined it for my kid when he realized two of his friends were given the option to turn in all their candy to the “Switch Witch” in exchange for a kick ass toy. I told him straight up that the “Switch Witch” doesn’t exist and explained that the parents just wanted to eat their kids candy. And I don’t care what anyone thinks of me for doing that. It’s frigging Halloween, dammit. Let the kids have their candy!

Cassandra Lee Jones 10 months ago

A few years ago, we got pamphlets about a lil kid who dies and doesn’t go to heaven because she didn’t pray….WTF IS THAT? It was a church sponsored thing……what is wrong with ppl?

Sherease Renee 10 months ago

Preach!!!!

Michele Rothman 10 months ago

Love it!

Amanda DuBose 10 months ago

Our community posts in the paper when trick or treating is allowed! And then all the kids from across the street in Chicago come over and we can barely get 10 houses that still have candy by the time my husband gets home from work at 6:30… It’s just not fair!

Angelina Mullen 10 months ago

This shit and that stupid elf on a shelf.

Bethanie Vi 10 months ago

Social media doesn’t have anything to do with being crafty and creative.
There was crafty and creative people before computers and social media. People who enjoy doing things with their kids, getting messy and having fun. The process is the point, not the outcome.
The people you’re referring to are the keeping up with the Jones’ types, and there’s ways been those too :-/

Haley DeBoer Urry 10 months ago

Totally Agree!!

Kaitlin 10 months ago

I love your attitude and spirit! And keep giving out those handfuls!!!

Karin Bullinger 10 months ago

Let them eat candy and be scary. Have you forgotten what it was like to be a kid?

Alissa Orca-Merz 10 months ago

AMEN! PREACH IT SISTER!!!

Giovanna Capane Holden 10 months ago

I’m just gonna go ahead & like this for the opening statement. Lmao

Kaitlin 10 months ago

So true! Let them sing you a scary song and pretend to be scared when they yell Boo! at the end. That’s what Halloween is about!

Sara Janik Serratore 10 months ago

Amen! Finally a voice of reason.

Patricia Torchia 10 months ago

Great article. Yes we have become an over weight society closing in on obesity. However one day of over the top candy/sweets seems ok. When after the initial “gorge” you moderate and give the rest to a senior home, vets hospital etc. why not? Same goes for Thanksgiving and Christmas. What takes the fun out of Halloween for me is having to take the goodies to be x-rayed because of all the sicko’s out there. Have fun, be safe and enjoy.

Cheryl Trojanowski 10 months ago

Give em candy!

Shauna Correia 10 months ago

Hahahaha this is hilarious…but I’m actually excited to make the celery skeleton for our work party

D’Arcy Ann Pryciak 10 months ago

I finding the worst sugar content treat and passing it out this year. You?

Dottie Fitzpatrick 10 months ago

LMAOOOOOO SO TRUE!

John Lemos 10 months ago

Now I hear they are encouraging people to put a “purple” pumpkin on your porch if you are giving out non-food items or “safe” treats. Why can’t we just teach our children to be thankful for what people have given you? If you don’t want them to have something specific, pick it out when you get home.

Tina Karina McKee 10 months ago

You GO, girl!

Suzanne Hodell Popielec 10 months ago

We’ve lived in neighborhoods with lots of cul-de-sacs where all of the people from the cul-de-sac would sit together at one table and hand out candy to the kids, right down the line, while the adults sat and got wasted all night. The Trick or Treaters never had the chance to go door to door “just like old times.” How is this any different than the concept of Trunk or Treat, where you decorate your trunk in a certain theme, wear a costume to coordinate with the theme, win prizes for best trunk, have a party, eat food, run games win prizes, have music, etc.? Usually there is a parade of costumes too, if it’s a really well-run event. The few times we’ve gone trick or treating in the traditional manner lately, MANY people had their lights turned off for non-participation, and the candy they hand out is utter CRAP compared to what we used to get as kids in the 70s so…why all this “we have to do it the old fashioned way” when it truly sucks? I could buy a bag of Dum Dum lollipops and tooth-shattering Mary Janes (does anyone eat them?) myself and save the five mile walk in the freezing cold.

Melissa Moss 10 months ago

I don’t understand why anyone would want to encourage children to go up to a strangers car to get candy. When I was a child, taking candy from strangers in cars was asking to be kidnapped. Now apparently, it’s okay.

Renee Ishmael 10 months ago

Made me lol!! Thanks Rosie!

Kimberly Koppenhafer 10 months ago

I can’t believe some of you actually bicker back and forth on a scary mommy Facebook post about Halloween. Who cares!!? Note: rant and argue all you want, I won’t be back to read it.

Renee Mangin Semon 10 months ago

No doubt!!!

Tara Hard Head 10 months ago

Irrelevance. Pshhhh stop hating on crafty folk if you ain’t so crafty

Desiree DeLooze 10 months ago

I agree, with most of this. I absolutely agree you better show up to my Thanksgiving dinner ready to eat until you puke!! HaHa I starve if I know I’m going somewhere just because I want to make sure I can eat like a pig! That’s what holidays are for. As for Halloween, if Mama’s want to be crafty who cares? It’s cute even if its just little construction decoration for broke ass bitches like me. As far as eating candy as you walk house to house? All for it!!!!! Gorging when you get home? a must!!! I have to say I’ve never egged a house though lol. And I haven’t seen a house hand out full size candy bars in forever!

Susan 10 months ago

Nope, sorry. We’ll be giving out stickers, pencils, spider rings and tattoos again this year for both nutritional and allergy-aware reasons.

It’s called trick or treat, not trick or candy. The kids we see at the door are either oscar-worthy actors, or they are super excited for a tattoo or a sticker.

Aly Vidal Walker 10 months ago

Hilarious!
But it’s true. Holidays are meant for good times and splurging. There’s plenty of time for healthyness the rest of the year.

Martha Manson-Eaheart 10 months ago

Hi-lar-i-ous!!!!

Michelle Frittitta Adams 10 months ago

NO MORE LEPRECHAUN TRAPS!

Katie Wiegert Notestine 10 months ago

My daughter’s class will be getting donuts for their Halloween Party treat since it’s a half day and treats will be around 10am. They may not thank me ‘later’ but they sure as hell will thank me at the party!
-a loving room mom

Christy West 10 months ago

I am just so sick of all the new little “perfect” people of the planet. Gag. Love your comments!

Jennifer Blocker 10 months ago

Im with you :)

Amber N John Pierce 10 months ago

You do realize Halloween is a celebration of All Saints Day right? It’s not really pagan per say.

Auvery Reid 10 months ago

LOL!!!

Jennifer Osso 10 months ago

It’s not that hard. If you don’t want to do that kind of stuff then don’t. If you do then DO. I’m not crafty but I could give one shit if other people are. Craft your little heart away, and invite my kids over while your at it :) but yea, no raisins.. That’s just not right.

Gunilla Huddleston 10 months ago

I make a brain (watermelon) in tray of blood (jelly) centrepiece – everything else is from the shop and pizza figures heavily in the menu.

Jodi Creasap Gee 10 months ago

“Raisins on Halloween will cause a Zombie apocalypse. True story.”
I believe it.

Alicha Willis 10 months ago

This is great!!

Tiffany Wylie Hamm 10 months ago

Well said!!

Liz 10 months ago

Sign me up! I will fight for my right to a stomachache, haha. Each year the recovery time gets worse and worse but I’m all for superseding my personal best.

Holly Mac Neil 10 months ago

I do remember those days. Quite fondly!

Tara Grammes Lyman 10 months ago

My daughters class just had a sign up for parents to bring in stuff for their party. Of course there were things listed like Clementine’s with celery for pumpkins and bananas with chocolate chips for ghosts…..I was like f that, I’ll bring in the plates and napkins.

Elizabeth DeVirgilio 10 months ago

OMG! The bananas comment! BAHAHAHAHA!

Misty Elliott 10 months ago

I love pinterest! It helps this uncrafty mom (me) be much more crafty and creative. I also let my kids go crazy on Halloween. They are allowed to eat their candy at whatever pace they want to. My son usually eat most of it before the night is over, and my youngest daughter will often save it so that it lasts months. I have no desire to take the fun of it away from them. I do make sure they brush their teeth like crazy. As far as treats at school goes, I hate that we can no longer being homemade treats to class for holidays or birthdays. I think it sucks! I’d even be willing to make them half gluten-free or vegan or whatever is free of the allergies present in class, but it just isn’t allowed any more:(

Ann Martin Main 10 months ago

Wow…….

Elena Claros 10 months ago

Or some of us do it because we like to be creative…not to compete with anyone. Don’t do it if you don’t want to, but leave us crafty folks alone. I like to create for the sake of seeing if o can do it and if it looks cool. I judge no one.

James Wiedemann 10 months ago

My first costume in 1st grade(circa 1942 )was tattered clothes and a brown paper bag painted face with cosmetics with eyes slits so I could see it won 1st place

Jo Anna Sparks 10 months ago

Yep I’m the house with the good candy

Kathy DeJesus 10 months ago

Fantastic!!!!!

Britanie Myers 10 months ago

Ummmm… actually my mom was making me carved Jack-o-Lantern stuffed apples for my lunchbox back in the 90’s…. But she’s always been a bit of an overachiever. :)

Elizabeth Reckner 10 months ago

Exactly! ! Halloween is only one night kids deserve to have fun and eat tons of candy. Lord knows once they go to bed well steal the last bit of the good stuff lol

Heather 10 months ago

SOOO with you! This article was hysterically written and spot on! I love it <3

Hannah Horsch 10 months ago

Yeah they were. Lol all that stuff goes back to the Victorians. They were the Masters of crafting!

Lani Fahy Dean 10 months ago

Hysterical!

Cameron Bellestri 10 months ago

My kids rather have cash than candy and I am ok with that!

Amanda Powers 10 months ago

Ha!! Yes!! I love it!!

Colleen J Roome 10 months ago

well said

Laura Perez 10 months ago

Tell me about it!

Juleigh 10 months ago

Seriously?
I’m sure your kids will survive ingesting a night’s worth of “bad” ingredients. Unless, of course, there’s an allergy. Otherwise don’t suck the fun out of Halloween.

Trapped with idiots 10 months ago

Yes, by all means, claw & fight against the tide of change. I weep for the future.

Amy Campbell McDaniel 10 months ago

It’s hard to find neighborhoods to trick or treat in, now I have to find some kind of “event” to go to.

Kelster 10 months ago

Ever notice that the women this piece describes are the same ones horking down the brownies at Bunco?

momof3 10 months ago

And this Teal Pumpkin crap….just because your kid has allergies doesn’t mean that my kid has to have their holiday ruined. If it were my kid with the allergies, I’d hand out stuff in advance to the homes on our trick or treat route so they had something there for them. Or have them trade in all the candy they can’t eat for a toy or something. But leave it alone! It’s tradition!

Elizabeth Zimmerman McKinney 10 months ago

Ah the good old days! We’d go out trick or treating without parental bodyguards. We’d use old pillow cases as candy bags and wouldn’t come home till they were full (or too heavy to drag any further). We’d dump out candy into piles, throw away the raisins and toothbrushes, and then my brothers would offer “awesome” trades to try to cheat me out of the good stuff.

And maybe in the *really* paranoid scary years, we might let mom check the mini snickers for razor blade. That is, if she got to it before we snarfed it all. And we DID snarf it all. Rationing the haul to last you a while only meant getting it stolen by siblings who’d munched through theirs in the first hour.

Lisa Wise 10 months ago

I don’t think she’s trying to be hostile toward the crafty moms (like me!), but Pinterest makes the less-crafty among us feel inadequate. And I agree–candy in Halloween, marshmallow-laden sweet potato casserole and sugary cranberry sauce and rolls upon buttery rolls for Thanksgiving, egg nog, hot cocoa and monkey bread at Christmas! There are plenty of days the rest of the year to eat healthy . . . And if you’re concerned about ethics, buy fair trade chocolate . . . Maybe have some allergy-friendly non-food treats. But let kids have fun!

Nelly Quiñones 10 months ago

Jessica Beaudoin i pictured you saying all this

Heather Calhoun Stockett 10 months ago

My oldest is allergic to peanuts. So every time Halloween rolls around and he knocks on a door, he’ll say “Trick or treat! But nothing with peanuts, please.” I told him, “Stop saying that! I want some Reese’s and some Snickers!” Obviously, I’m not winning “Mother of the Year” any time soon.

Sarah Dunn Jackson 10 months ago

EXACTLY

Melisa Hennessy 10 months ago

Yes!!!!!!! Except my kid isn’t born yet. Is it too early for me to take her trick or treating?

Jessica Inman 10 months ago

That same social media that has made you a minor celebrity?

Nancy Welker Fortais 10 months ago

Articles like this are why I LOVE Scary Mommy! No, not all of us want to be the perfect crafty- healthy snack serving -uber mom of perfection, with a need to impress and one-up every other mom out there. This had me laughing and nodding vigorously in agreement!!!!

Andrea Watkins Dickinson 10 months ago

“We’re going to treat this holiday like the little bitch that it is!” —> Dying!!!!

Jessica Rabon 10 months ago

I love it! I’m right there with you! Raisins on Halloween will cause a Zombie apocalypse. True story. –

Josiane Crnko 10 months ago

Lol!

Barbara Loelf 10 months ago

I love making things out of food. Other than that I suck at crafts. But don’t worry. I live in Germany. So nobody you know will see our familiy made stuff. 😉 (it won’t be organic though. Can’t fulfill the whole cliché). I wish we could be IN the US for Halloween though. Because trick or treating is not big in Germany.

Heather R. Rhodes 10 months ago

I love this!

Sarah Bovyn 10 months ago

Absolutely with ya! I love Halloween but definitely isn’t the same since I was a child.

Jaime Hirschman-Purcell 10 months ago

I’m with you!!!!

Beth Crooks 10 months ago

Damn straight!!

Deb Walmer Basembe 10 months ago

I admit, I gave candy and toys like teeth and rings. I do this for the kids with allergies. Our first real Halloween with my allergic son was a bit depressing. So I make sure the allergen kids get stuff too.

Tara Griffin 10 months ago

I’m glad I live in Dublin Ireland where kids still knock on the door trick or treating, we have bonfires and fireworks… The kids love it..

Myah Lovett 10 months ago

I agree, except I love coconut candy too. Then add in adult bar night and you’ll really treat this holiday like the b!+@# it is.

Trisha Murphy Langrehr 10 months ago

Omg I love this! Laughing to myself while waiting for a lunch date! Lol

Tara Griffin 10 months ago

I still do crafts with my kids, we drew hands and painted them black to stick on the window, looks like people trying to get out, we’ve more to do, but I make sure we make something every year… I just copy the ideas in the ships and make my own, last yeAr I bought 2 life size dolls in a charity shop and made them look like Chucky and his bride… Kids love them, I also made halloween wreaths one year…and don’t get me started about christmas crafting… Lol

Kimberly Spake 10 months ago

best.article.ever

Melinda Schulist 10 months ago
Dana Marie Edwards 10 months ago

Come on you guys, let’s not get butt hurt. This was an entertaining article, meant for entertainment. I didn’t feel judged at all.

Elicia 10 months ago

The article makes some good points, but ignorance is not always bliss. The vast majority of American main chocolate companies (Hershey’s, M&M Mars, etc.) purchase cocoa from plantations that use child slavery…not like underpaid, but actual slavery, CHILDREN. It’s one’s own prerogative to stay blissfully unaware, but it does seem a little horrendous to knowingly give out chocolate made by cocoa picked by children enslaved and abused in places like Ghana and Sierra Leone because we don’t want to spend a couple extra bucks and want to keep our holidays traditional instead of become socially conscious consumers.

Elicia Blodgett 10 months ago

The article makes some good points, but ignorance is not always bliss. The vast majority of American main chocolate companies (Hershey’s, M&M Mars, etc.) purchase cocoa from plantations that use child slavery…not like underpaid, but actual slavery, CHILDREN. It’s one’s own prerogative to stay blissfully unaware, but it does seem a little horrendous to knowingly give out chocolate made by cocoa picked by children enslaved and abused in places like Ghana and Sierra Leone because we don’t want to spend a couple extra bucks and want to keep our holidays traditional instead of become socially conscious consumers.

Doll Bayybee 10 months ago

I’m definitely one of those annoying crafty ppl. Always have been and I can’t wait until I have my first kid so we can do crafts together Lolz.

Stacy Hebein 10 months ago

Omg. I about died reading this post. Hilarious! I’m with ya! Game face, brah. It’s go time.

Jennifer Bush Luce 10 months ago

What about the parents that let their kids go trick or treating, and then TAKE AWAY THEIR CANDY (and replace it with a book or something) because it’s not good for them. I swear, that’s just cruel.

Shannon Fedak De Sha 10 months ago

Hell yeah!!!

Gabbi Rooney 10 months ago

Thank you!

Kourtney Stump Cohen 10 months ago

I request you TP my house instead of egging it due to my daughter’s allergies. It’ll not only be safer but will look more festive. In all seriousness, we give candy and some fun little things for the allergy crowd. We leave them on the porch while we take our kids.

Lisa Flaherty Baker 10 months ago

AND another thing (shaking her fist): When you live in a suburb with relatively safe (not saying anything is 100% safe, but I mean familiar surroundings), must the town have not 1 but 2 events that do the “come to a parking lot and walk around and get candy”? There’s one at our high school (come walk down the hall and get candy) as well as a “Trunk or Treat” with cars in a parking lot. If you tell me they do it IN PLACE of Halloween night, that’s one thing, but IN ADDITION TO? C’mon…

Amanda Edmonds 10 months ago

Heck yes. That’s how I did it as a kid! Happy CANDY day!

Jenny Holmes 10 months ago

Plus Halloween falls on a Friday! Rock out!

Alicia Adams 10 months ago

I don’t do Halloween but this made me chuckle!

Teresa 10 months ago

Not sure I’m on board with everything you said but you made me laugh, hard. Out loud.
Before my coffee. That never happens. Great article!

Glenda Fenton Schepers 10 months ago

I am cracking up!!! Seriously hilarious!

Claudia Schink 10 months ago

We live in Canada,I have 5 kids and we do trick or treat outside,and the weather can be everything from -10 and snow to +10 and sun.Get over it and get out there….

Desirae Michaels 10 months ago

How DARE you not do halloween my way and ONLY my way! Harmp!

Tiffany 10 months ago

LoL I’ve always been this way and I don’t plan on changing! Oh..and who came up with the whole leprechaun trap idea? I’d never heard of such a thing until my first son went to kindergarten 5 years ago. Nonetheless.. I homeschool now and we don’t make leprechaun traps anymore; )

Christina Romanski Cates 10 months ago

What’s wrong with being crafty? I think it’s fun and cute and if I want to spend my time making adorable things for holidays it’s my prerogative. My kids will binge out on candy with all the festive stuff I made surrounding them!

Brenda Graham 10 months ago

Absolutely agree! Let’s keep it fun. It’s one day! Old school rules! :)

Sandra Shapiro 10 months ago

I wish I knew about the candy tax when my daughter was little. I wouldn’t have had to steal her candy when she was asleep. That worked until she was old enough to count. Then I just had to buy my own.

Dora Elizabeth Hutto 10 months ago

A freaking men! Seriously. The only pinterest idea I’m using is the glow Sticks in the toilet paper rolls. My 3 year old saw, it and wants scary bushes. Lol. We have 2 huge bowls of chocolate to hand out. I bought some nerds and dum dums for those who can’t eat chocolate. I might even buy bubbles for the food allergy kids. It’s one night that I let Anna indulge and HAVE FUN

Kasey Pearson-Breinig 10 months ago

Love this!!! Totally agree!

Laura Kosnoff Fennewald 10 months ago

Halloween like every other holiday is made up of family traditions and if there are healthier and more creative people out there why is it anyone’s business if they want to do more than just carve a pumpkin?

Edie Auriemma 10 months ago

A little crude but true true

Kelly Teater 10 months ago

There goes the panties….let the bunching begin. Lmao

Jenah M Edgcomb 10 months ago

LMAO!!

Macarena Romano Valerón 10 months ago

Of course I’m with you! And I wish my little gal loved candies as much as I do! She doesn’t like them and enjoys buying them for me!

Kathleen Powell McIntire 10 months ago

I just had an epiphany. Wait for it….How about every family can make their own tradition? Want to be healthy on Halloween? Great idea. Want one night to let the children binge? Great idea. I am an over the top party creating, try to be healthy but fail, Elf on the Shelf, no turkey on Thanksgiving, Pinterest crazy mom. I love my family to the moon and back. I create traditions for our family that are fun and reflective of our personalities. You don’t like what I do. That is ok. Do something different. There are no right or wrong traditions for your family.

Susie Park 10 months ago

Coconut is not for chumps! Almond Joy is amazing!

Kristine Kuhl 10 months ago

Bless you, scary mommy for keeping it real and saying what most if us normal moms think!

Monica Lefter Bartels-Biswell 10 months ago

This article just has a mean tone, and I find it just as judgy as sanctimonious as the anti-candy crowd. My younger kids go bat shit crazy when they’d had too much sugar, especially chocolate. Once they hit 7 they seem fine. It’s not just one night, it’s like a week or more. And when we are attending multiple parties with yet MORE cupcakes, and candy and cookies, we sign up for what feels like a month of misery. Some kids just don’t do well with it. I have two kids with pretty severe allergies and celiac, and always feel grateful when there are alternatives. Of course there are people that dismiss us as assholes because we have dietary restrictions. Calm down. I am the one that has to stay up with tantrums, screaming, and stomach pains. We’ll skip the party treats, at least for my younger guys! And if that makes me an A-hole, so be it!

Polita Barnes 10 months ago

We used to feel sorry for kids whose moms made them eat fruit on Halloween.

Beth Diem 10 months ago

We have trunk or treat in MI. a lot of people live in areas were people do not have a lot of lights on anymore , sad truth around my area , and I,m not taking my kids to a neighberhood I dont know ,We go to the trunk or Treats , my kids like them and I know they are safe , we have a Halloween party too .

Cyndi Mattix-Hogg 10 months ago

OMG! I LOVE this!!!! Right on!!!!

Jammie Leigh Marcantel 10 months ago

I don’t even know what a clementine is!! This is Texas. My kids better not come home without a Reece’s cup or ten for mom!

Jessica Farrell 10 months ago

“…the next day…..We’ll re-enter society.” I love this!

Georgana Baldjian 10 months ago

Some moms are just more crafty than others. There’s nothing wrong with going the extra mile if you enjoy it. If you like being plain then that’s good too.

Monica Ammerman 10 months ago

Awesome article

Dana Dennis-Chargois 10 months ago

I remember

Christina Fetko 10 months ago

I love all you moms who appreciate a good ole fashioned Halloween filled with candy and costumes :)

Colleen O’Driscoll Makovec 10 months ago

Amen!!

Janette Smith 10 months ago

agreed

Shantavia Fields Garibay 10 months ago

Preach!!

Jenny Kruschke 10 months ago

Damn right. Eat all the veggies you want all year long, but we are having candy on Halloween. And stuffing and pie on Thanksgiving. And ham and potatoes and cookies and candy canes and the works on Christmas. It’s a holiday, damnit, and we’re going to enjoy it!

Angela Hazen 10 months ago

Haha I love doing that shit. Halloween had always been my favorite holiday.

Dara 10 months ago

Yes I am with you!! Take back Halloween!!

laura 10 months ago

I have a brother who had a severe dairy allergy (puberty seems to have kicked it. Weird as it was life or death) so we would trade for all his chocolate, after mom got all that she wanted….

Angela Hawley 10 months ago

I go ALL OUT on the outside house decorating… Because it’s fun! And the neighborhood kids have come to expect it! And chocolate ( not the cheap crappy stuff either) the candy you would want to get!!!

Marcy VanHorn Burgess 10 months ago

Love it!!!!

Michele Garza Lawson 10 months ago

LMAO! Tell them crafty mommas. I’ll check back later to see how many get their panties in a bunch over something silly. I’m going to prepare my kids afternoon snack shaped like a pumpkin. hahahaha

Sheli Shelmo Wilmore 10 months ago

I would be more willing to pass candy out again if we actually had kids that even tried to Trick or Treat. The little kids, not the issue. We usually get a bunch of high school kids, still in their clothes from school lugging around a plastic bag just knocking on doors. They have no costume, aren’t even taking younger siblings out. They are rude, grab as much candy as they can before we tell them to stop, and then run their mouths about how cheap we are when they walk off. After I take my kids out, I am NOT in the mood to even deal with any of that.

Steph Wheeler 10 months ago

AMEN! People need to chill out.

laura 10 months ago

Totally bought a bunch of candy to pass out to the trick or treaters. Normally we dress up and decorate our yard in customary cheap “scary” decorations. However we’ll just be doing candy this year as we’re expecting our first any day now. Who will be batman for halloween btw…..and I will try to get candy out of it. I don’t care if he’ll only be a few days old! (He better be here by then! Due on the 26th……)

Peggy Minter 10 months ago

Love it I’m in

Katherine Hunt Arabis 10 months ago

AMEN.. commence with the fat season!

angie 10 months ago

Amen!

Shab Tay 10 months ago

All kids want is full size candy bars. Full size.

Staci Clarke 10 months ago

It’s in Jersey too. It’s laziness, that’s what it is! And paranoia.

Lisa 10 months ago

We live in a development. The street behind us is windy and dangerous and the houses are far apart. So the kids come in to our neighborhood to trick-or-treat. So many of my neighbors complain. These are the people who give out one little bite size candy per kid too – but you knew that. They really want the kids to put themselves in danger walking on that road? So they can save some money on candy (trust me – they can more than afford it!) . When did everyone become a scrooge? Save all of the nonsense about how kids are overweight, blah blah blah… They are not overweight because of Halloween or eating a cake at a birthday party. They are kids. This is their holiday. Be generous. Be a little decadent. You have a chance to be part of making a great memory.

Laila Valade 10 months ago

We have upwards of 200-300 kids hit up our neighborhood! I love Halloween!

Amy Namola Juarez 10 months ago

Amen. Give me a Reese’s peanut butter cup. Followed by a snickers.

Kristen 10 months ago

YOU GO GIRL!!!! And AMEN SISTER! Sooooo sick of this healthy shit between October 31st and January 1st. This is the time of year where we enjoy food and eat the junk and way too much beause it’s the holiday season. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years…I say EAT and savor all the starchy, chocolatey goodness!

Qiana Didricksen 10 months ago

Amen, sister!

Laura Noble 10 months ago

Totally bought a bunch of candy. Hoping I don’t eat it all first lol

Vanessa Donnelly 10 months ago

This is flippin’ hilarious!

Dawn Mulhall 10 months ago

bwhahahhaha I love it!!!! Lots of trunk or treats where I live too!

Rachael Allgood 10 months ago

Love this!!!

Therese Irene 10 months ago

Love this!

Beggar 10 months ago

Haters gonna hate…

Jamie Seibert 10 months ago

We trick, we treat, we haunted house, we costume. And we don’t half ass it. Blood, gore, skeletons, candy… Go big or go home!

Claudine Vanas Dobbins 10 months ago

Amen to that!

Chad Case 10 months ago

Exactly!

Blair Brooke Lucas 10 months ago

yessss its HALLOWEEN…geez people lighten up and have some fun lol

Valerie Duncan McCabe 10 months ago

Lol, Not sure what the big deal is. If your thing is healthier holidays than yay for you and if it’s gorging yourself silly on deliciousness than yay for that too.

Diana 10 months ago

Preach it, sister!!!! We’ve already planned our trick-or-treat route to maximize the candy. I’ve convinced my boys that 1 grocery bag (that’s right, no homemade bags here) is not enough. We know where the big candy bars are as well as the healthy treat people (we avoid them). This is my personal favorite holiday and I will fight keep it amazing!

Jodie Mettler 10 months ago

The most festive thing I’ve done this year is arrange some of those Cheetos bone shaped puffs into skeletons on my sons lunch plate. Last year I decorated our front door and this year that seems unlikely with a 2 year old and 37 weeks pregnant.

Amy Orndorf Mathes 10 months ago

We take our kids around our neighborhood to get them warmed up & so neighbors who know them can see them. Then we dump that load @ home & hit the bigger candy bar hoods. The kids have to come up with their own costumes that are cheap or stuff we already have. And at the end of the night they pay a chocolate tax, that’s right I get paid to do makeup,hair & spending the night playing bodyguard.

Lisa Sampson Morgan 10 months ago

We give out full size bars and the older kids know if they come towards the end, they can take handfuls of whatever is left. Plus we usually have something like pushup pops or nerds ropes for the non chocolate people. Scary music, spooky pumpkins, vampire teeth – love it all! It is one day a year. Let the KIDS be creative. Let it be magical for them. My kids used to love the costume parade at their elementary school. Of course they took it away and instituted a no candy rule. Really? We don’t need anymore pencils.

Misty Elliott 10 months ago

I don’t think that the world is “safer now than its ever been.” There are a lot more precautions now than when I was a kid. Kids can no longer play freely in the yard while mom does dishes in the kitchen. Our toddlers can’t go running around naked like I did as a kid. It is not safer. Having that said, I think that I will continue to take my kids trick or treating like I always have:)

Shari 10 months ago

Aaaaaand this year Halloween is on a Friday!!!! It’s game on :) They’ll never take Halloween from me! When we got “too old” to trick-or-treat (so my mom claimed) we had to stay home and pass out the *gasp* raisins and pennies. It was AWFUL!!!! Now, as an adult, we all dress up, we do the whole creepy yard display for the kiddies to walk through (you’ll get multiple pieces of the good candy but you’re going to work for it ha ha) and I don’t care how irresponsible of me it is but I’ll skip a bill if I have to (just not electricity….we need that on Halloween) just to make sure we have huge bags of the good candy! You’ll see no raisins or hear “just one piece” at our house. Adults have a sh*t load of “have-to’s” when we grow up…..stop taking away the wide-eyed wonder of holidays done right from the kids, a**holes!!!!!

Emily Lukingbeal Stepp 10 months ago

Whoa nelly! Some kids can’t eat candy- Pinterest has saved my kid from having to go completely without treats.

Joy Franklin 10 months ago

As someone who is really trying to eat clean and healthy (and coaches others on this) I LOVE this article. One night will not derail your entire life. Teach your kids how to splurge within reason and you teach them a valuable life skill. We are trick or treating and ENJOYING our stinking holiday. :)

Randi Chesney 10 months ago

Amen to that!

Paula Burgett 10 months ago

What irritates me is “religious” people trying to change the name of Halloween. Calling it Neewallah or Hallelujah night is just stupid.

Jennifer Lynn Godown 10 months ago

Normally I stay home carve a last minute pumpkin and hand out candy while the hubby takes the kids trick or treating. This year a friend is taking our guys trick or treating cause hubby and I work a Haunted Hayride. Still have candy for the kids to leave and will pick up a bag for any dressed up customers we get.

Ray Whitley 10 months ago

We still had Martha Stweart, Better homes and Gardens, and The food network.

Deidre Westover 10 months ago

My mom used to do stuff like that all the time.

Eileen Franz Brandy 10 months ago

Wow–my kid’s pre-school has no prohibitions on junk food! My only complaint is having to get the icing out of her clothes after yet another round of birthday cupcakes.

Sophia 10 months ago

Avoiding homemade shit…. are you sure? What about homemade brownies and candy apples?!?? Man I could go for those too.

Giovanna Seldin 10 months ago

Amen sister. Amen.

Stacey McDevitt Vincler 10 months ago

Yes!!

Anna Lopez 10 months ago

I love this one!!!

Geneviève Bowman 10 months ago

Soooo happy to read this! Halloween is one of my great childhood memories, and I’ll make sure my daughters have that experience too! And I sure as heck won’t be giving out fruits or health-nut crap that will just end up being thrown out anyway! It’s -once- a year, it’s ok to let kids have candy for a special occasion and dress up as monsters and have fun! And any kid coming to my house trick-or-treating will leave with loads of goodies, too! :)

Beth Entwistle 10 months ago

Some of these comments are unbelievable!

Marilyn Terriquez 10 months ago

Pinterest really was ruining this season for me, ive spent hours of frustration trying to recreate neat and scary treats these past days :-( im glad I read this lol nothing wrong with my sweet and simple treats of past years.

Angela Rye 10 months ago

I’m all for being crafty, but fashion said projects from snickers, twix, and Reese’s-not carrots, celery, and clementines! Halloween is a holiday that is about candy, bottom line. Christmas and thanksgiving, okay yes, bigger meaning than the junk food but KEEP HALLOWEEN CANDY COATED!

Michele Smith Johnson 10 months ago

We have Trunk or Treat in KC as well…but it doesn’t replace Halloween. This is our rookie year….

Nancy Meade Norton 10 months ago

Your kids don’t give a rats butt about how crafty you are. You’re doing that crap for other adults. In reality kids just want to dress up in their costume and get some candy.

Diana Sevilla 10 months ago

I LOVE this page too. But I also use Pinterest. Sometimes I need to “SEE” in order to finalize or perhaps perfect my own ideas.

Mel Castillo 10 months ago

We don’t even get to have parties at school anymore and taking a snack for birthdays is out too! Seriously things have gotten ridiculous! Heck our fall festival at the school is only 2 hrs long now! When I went to school which is the same school my kids attend and was only 14 yrs ago it lasted from 9am till 10 pm! We had lost of fun! Yes I hate for my kids to get sick off junk food but seriously im not gonna sit back and let them eat it all they actually aren’t big on sweets.. Sorry im a fuming mom about the new system I wanna bake crazy things for the kids! Lol

Ashley Innes Roe 10 months ago

YES

Sophia Lynn Perry 10 months ago

Dieting is boring, I like the crafting part (I’m a crafty person tho so that’s hardly fair) but I really HATE the newest trend of decorating with mutilated children statues, and nobody agrees with me! I’m not saying Halloween has to be cute, but I draw the line at bloody and gory children.

Rebecca Tarlazzi 10 months ago

FRRREEEEEDOOOM! YES! YES! YES!!!!

Misty Elliott 10 months ago

I think it’s great to take kids to the nicer neighborhoods, but I also think we should be taking them around lower and middle class neighborhoods as well. Everyone looks forward to trick or treaters! Sucks when you don’t get any.

Crystal Allen 10 months ago

Love this!! Had to share it!!!

Jill E. Lloyd 10 months ago

Lol

Chantele Nordberg Pehrson 10 months ago

So, funny :) I am one of those moms that loves all the fun Pinterest holiday crafts :)

Amber Kennedy Kent 10 months ago

She forgot to mention all the parents who now make their kids throw out the lion’s share of their candy! I can’t tell you how many people I’d see bragging on FB about letting their kids have their candy for a day/a week/etc or pick out their favorite 20/30/50/etc pieces and then throw the rest away/take to their dentist/etc! I was like “WTF am I spending all this money on the GOOD candy if for all I know, it’s just going to end up in the trash anyway??” I have curbed my candy buying and giving habits at Halloween thanks to these ass-hole parents who are trying to take all of the fun away!

Brenda Reynolds Peterson 10 months ago

Well I guess this is right if you don’t mind poisoning your children with GMO’s and a bunch of shit that you can’t even pronounce…………so go ahead and feed them all the sugar you want and when they end up with diabetes, you will only have yourself to blame!

Lisa 10 months ago

Absolutely! It was one of my favorite things about Halloween – the spookiness! Vampires, ghosts, mummies, werewolves – all of it Bring it on!

Stephanie 10 months ago

Yep. Agree.The clementine/banana thing got me all riled up last year, too. Ridiculous.

Laura Squire Whitener 10 months ago

Ha! I was literally planning all these food crafts for our party this weekend! I enjoy it and if making healthy food look cool gets my kid to eat a tiny bit more of it, I’m all for it. BUT I do it because I enjoy it, not because I’m trying to impress anybody or feel obligated.

Rosina Jane Fortier 10 months ago

We plan out our trick or treat route in advance, and my kids trick or treat until their little legs are so tired they could drop. Then we go home dump it all in a pile in the living room to sort it, dole out some treats, let them gorge and send them to bed. Then mom and dad impose a parent tax and let them go to town on the rest until it’s gone.

Stephanie Molsky Herman 10 months ago

This is how we are going to do Halloween, right Michelle Molsky Jadico and Jen Molsky Sauter!

Andi Piscatella 10 months ago

I give big candy bars. But I gotta say, the kids who want to take more than one FULL SIZE BAR really piss me off. I want to talk to their parents. I’m pretty sure I’m generous enough.

Jen Whitcomb 10 months ago

Yup. Trunk-or-Treat should be banned!

Vicky Lee 10 months ago

Lmfao!!

Stephanie Crighton 10 months ago

This pg is one of my faves! We have a custom where kids go trick or treating and the next day turn the candy into school to sell for charity as a fundraiser for school. Everything is about fundraising for school or sports. Kids cant just be kids anymore.

Melissa Uribe 10 months ago

Love the (bitches need to get paid) lol I’m not crafty & doubt I ever will be.

Malinda 10 months ago

I am sooooo with you!!!

Penny Watson-Cook 10 months ago

Awesome

Danika Thomas 10 months ago

Yes! To all this!

Carley Anne 10 months ago

Last year I got into an argument with my daughters parent rep. Even though the school allows treats at holiday parties, this mom took it upon herself to have healthy only treats at the class party. When I suggested half treats and half healthy she shot it down saying my daughters pancreas would thank me later. I had to scrap my witches hat cookies for pumpkin clementine fruit cups (which NONE of the kids ate). Needless to say I am the parent rep this year. One day isn’t going to kill them.

Melissa Breton Paiva 10 months ago

This is awesome!

Janet Sherman 10 months ago

We have trunk or treat I’m ohio

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food 10 months ago

Count me in! Though one small point of clarification – unless you’re not as old as I am – I seriously don’t remember ghost “peeps” when I was a kid. I love candy as much as the next Mommy, but I’m not so sure about this business with the year-round Peeps. If you can get ’em at Christmas, do you look forward to them at Easter? Just sayin’. Otherwise, yep kids, here’s a pillowcase and let me drive you to the neighborhood where all the houses are close together so you can load up. Be sure to ask for extra Butterfingers. Because they’re your favorite. Oh no, they’re Mom’s favorite! That’s right.

JohnandJenny Chain 10 months ago

hahaha! “Raisins on Halloween will cause a Zombie apocalypse.”

Haley Gunnink Brown 10 months ago

I darn near spit out my coffee when I read the line about “bitches gotta get paid, yo)! Hilarious!

Jennifer Hoskins 10 months ago

I shared this again from my timehop lol loved it!

Julie Knoecklein 10 months ago

I make my kids work for all that candy! I also make them carry their own bag!! Then I take the candy tax!!

Hmm 10 months ago

Party pooper…

Jeni Grabowski 10 months ago

I love this page, it’s hilarious

Liz Brigham Wilson 10 months ago

Pinterest is ruining it all with ridiculous standards

Marisa Cook 10 months ago

Amen lol

Jacquelyne Rela 10 months ago

Ahhhhhh back when glitter glue got me called creative lol

Melissa- Luke Desrochers 10 months ago

I made clementine oranges with celery stems yesterday… 😡

Amanda Weber 10 months ago

I love this article!

Taylor Holt 10 months ago

Yes!

Christine McCarthy 10 months ago

We do buy the big bags of candy, but we also include full sized candy!! Mini’s are good, but the full size is BETTER! Haha!

Sarah Fritz-Maldonado 10 months ago

I love candy!!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl Andrew 10 months ago

Here in Utah they’ve got a Halloween-killing trend called “Trunk or Treat.” I don’t know if this is a big deal everywhere else, or just with Mormons, but it’s aggravating. You bus your kids to the local church parking lot, have them walk around to everyone else’s car gathering candy, then you go home. WTF? I mean, why not just buy them a bag of candy then?

Christine McCarthy 10 months ago

Word!

Issa 2 years ago

Also (and it’s been said in the comments before): Go scary! This is not a Disney holiday. If the kid wants to be a witch, a demon, a strange monster from the pantry (last minute costumes) go for it. My baby sister was only scared of one thing when she was little: The wicked witch of the west. So she was a witch for Halloween and that seemed to help (albeit a witch with ruby slippers). Let ’em go nuts binging for this ONE night. Oh, and I like the veggie tray. It makes the candy all the more appealing.

Moira Hawthorne Copeland 2 years ago

you obviously arent old enough to *Remember the good old days?* in my childhood… I remember running thru the country up 2 acre driveways… and get hot cider and hot chocolate and home baked goodies… like caramel apples and brownies and caramel popcorn and cookiees and cupckes!!! thats worth treakrtreating for!!!

Cheryl Hanson Hambrick 2 years ago

Count me in!

Carrie 2 years ago

My daughter has a severe peanut allergy… so I’m going to be that mom that has to refuse all candy bars because it could kill her. That “good old fashioned” Halloween treats are not for those with life threatening allergies. I will be that mom who has to make homemade treats for the Halloween party at day care.

HD 2 years ago

Hooray!!! Refreshing and hilarious! You can stick your “Storybook Character Day, PreK!” ok… ok… I kid. But MAN it felt good for a minute.

Dawn 2 years ago

Yes!! I’ve told my two that Halloween is all about being scarier than the things that scare you, so they dress up as scary things. Last year my son was a demon and my daughter was a witch. This year they both want to be vampires. Kids are small and lots of things scare them, so they enjoy being the scary one for a change.

Herchel S 2 years ago

Heck yeah! My silly kids think the tootsie rolls are the best so I get all the good stuff!

led 2 years ago

Thank you! I just LOVE Halloween! My best friend hates it so while her kids were little I was all over going to help them with costumes and ideas for parties that I’d throw for her kids and their friends at her house!I have over 25 nieces/nephews and great nieces/nephews. So I have learned to accept my situation and get to be the ‘favorite Aunt’ because I can spoil each and everyone of them. Of course then send them home. Yes, I can hear the moans! =)
I’m also very lucky that I am able to work with children daily. Makes my own situation seem a little easier when I can do good for other’s children. I can’t help but to love them all.

Medical reasons are to blame. However, you get what you’re given and life moves on.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Jessica 2 years ago

Love it! Maybe there would be less of a sugar/obesity problem these days if we all embraced the 3 (ish) days a year and just enjoyed it and “re-entered” our state of moderation.

Jessica 2 years ago

I don’t know your history of why you don’t have kids, obviously, but I LOVE that you are living vicariously and enjoying the kids’ spirit.

Frankie Laursen 2 years ago

I’m pretty low-key. My kids are only 3 and 6, so we just go to a few houses that aren’t scary. We give out actual candy, although we politely accept the stickers and crackers some families hand out.

Last year or the year before last, I told my husband in front of our son about Jimmy Kimmel telling parents to lie to their kids and say they ate all the kids’ candy. The day after Halloween, my son asked where the candy was, and I said sarcastically, “We ate it,” and he cried, screamed, and punched a DVD case. I was like, “Dude, I was kidding! Don’t you remember I was telling you about this?” It still took him awhile to calm down. Don’t even joke about that shit, yo.

Lindsey 2 years ago

Love it! My good parenting on Halloween comes in the form of telling them to seriously only take one from the suckers who leave a basket full of candy outside of their house. My bad parenting comes approximately 36 hours later when I consume all of the candy that is left… so I guess technically telling them to only take one does qualify as my eating less… so you see, eating all your kid’s candy can fall short of gluttonous too!

Grace | Yummy Baby Gifts 2 years ago

I’m with you on the holidays!! I love the holidays!! EXPAND!

Crystal Barnes 2 years ago

Hell to the yes!

LaLaLand 2 years ago

i stone cold love you. bitches gotta get paid, yo.

Miriam Pérez 2 years ago

Omg I see reeses? :D————–

Misty 2 years ago

Count me in!

thedoseofreality 2 years ago

Totally with you 100%!! Especially with the part where I get to eat all the candy, too! YUM!!-Ashley

Courtney Ethridge 2 years ago

Ah, makes me think of the good ole days when I gorged on the Halloween candy my mom kept hiding (and I obviously kept finding) and then puked in her bed in the middle of the night. I'm bound to get pay back sooner or later now that I have my own kids.

Marta 2 years ago

HA. LOVE it. Yes, I hate when people show up at my holiday (and I host ALL three) and they’re not hungry. WTH?

Megan 2 years ago

Hell yes I’m with you!

Jean 2 years ago

My students used to write about trick or treating in the “rich” neighborhoods.
This was hilarious and I’m so happy I read it in time. I was just about to prepare my mini-bags of hummus to pass out on Halloween night. 😉

Kara 2 years ago

Beggars will always be beggars.

Stephanie Symes 2 years ago

YES! lol

Katie 2 years ago

The only non-candy item you’ll ever see coming out of my house is glow stick bracelets- ‘cuz who doesn’t LOVE a glow stick? Other than that candy all the way!

Shelley 2 years ago

Awesome! LOVE it!! And don’t forget about celebrating Halloween on the 31st no matter what day of the week it falls on! None of this “well it’s Sunday. I don’t think we are supposed to trick or treat in Sunday”. WTC? And don’t knock on my door until it is pretty much dark. If your little ones need a flashlight or glow sticks, get them. Simple! Have fun & eat more chocolate!!!

Pamela Anneliese 2 years ago

THIS!! Your post reminds me of a time growing up when one Halloween something possessed my mom to give out pretzels as treats. How our house didn't get egged, I'll never understand, LOL. But don't let your kids eat the candy before you've checked it! There are so many effed-up people nowadays who poison candy or stick pins in them. You've really got to be careful.

Anne Brock 2 years ago

Hilarious! Sorry I can't join you wholeheartedly in this! But I'm concerned about what many of those ingredients can do to my kids and have been invited to give a healthy/green Halloween presentation on the radio. Luckily there are alternatives that taste just as good as our old favorites!

led 2 years ago

The scarier the better, and gore is good too.

led 2 years ago

I am SO there! I don’t even have kids (not by choice) but my house is decorated to the nines (is that the right word?)! I’m stocked full of candy to hand out. I don’t give full sized bars, I give BAGS! Okay, not really bags! I just have a HUGE bowl of everything and I deliver one handful to each childs bag. The parents pipe up in the background, ‘remember, just one piece.’ I always think to myself, ‘I don’t think so pal. It’s Halloween!’ I live vicariously through each of those kids and give them what every kid wants, a s**t-ton of candy! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Christina Costalas Fuhs 2 years ago

way funny

Cheri 2 years ago

I agree! We’re waiting one more year to do any real trick or treating. My LO is 1 1/2, so she won’t remember this one anyway. However, she is dressing up, and we are handing out candy (for the first time ever). I have bags full in my cupboard just waiting for the day! I’m not giving out the big bars, but I have a ton of different minis to choose from!

Mar-Ce Bennett 2 years ago

So true…the rich houses do give bigger, better candy! But sometimes the ordinary houses are decorated the scariest. I think Halloween will be around for a while but I'm worried about Thanksgiving. You might enjoy this post called "Killing Thanksgiving". http://www.boomerpie.com/2012/11/killing-thanksgiving.html Especially since Macys has opted to open on TDay.

Kelly 2 years ago

I am with you EXCEPT the trick or treat in the rich neighborhoods, unless it has changed since I was a kid. My bff and I went to the rich neighborhood one year and her sister stayed in our nice middle class neighborhood. The rich had massive yards that you had to hike through to get to the door and be given one tiny cheap piece of candy. We even had sprinklers on automatic timers go off. After two hours we barely had half a bag of candy. Meanwhile her sister in the same time span was on her 2nd pillow case full.

Tami Verbick 2 years ago

I'M IN!!

CJ 2 years ago

As a recipe developer and baking blogger, my job is to create cute and clever holiday ideas that just feed this whole machine. As a mom, oh my word I’m so tired. I want off the craft a pumpkin out of the veggie tray train. Not to mention that given the nature of my work, I’m done and completely over holidays at least 6-8 weeks before they occur so by the time they roll around, yeah, done. Over it. I hear yeah loud and clear. Give me those full size candy bars. And I will have no guilt for pulling out all of the ones with nuts (kid with a nut allergy) and enjoying them myself.

Kat 2 years ago

I completely agree! Let the rest of the year be for moderation; Halloween is for gorging out on the nastiest, sweetest stuff you can get your hands on!!

Anna 2 years ago

Yes, let’s get back to Old School Halloween!

Jeanne at Life in Cleveland 2 years ago

YES! I’m with you!!!!

Destinee 2 years ago

Soooooooo in agreement! My 3 year old and my 1 year old will be getting all the freaking candy I can get them in their store bought ninja and teddy bear costumes, and my 3 year old will be staying up waaaaaaaaay past his bedtime to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and whatever other “scary” movies I can think to have him watch. (Within reason-he is 3 after all.) And the next day I will deal with the inevitable upset tummies and hyperactivity (because, you know, we’re on a GFCF diet, and he’s ASD/ADHD, so…LOL), because they’re only kids once and it’s ONE DAY A YEAR. *End mini rant*

Gina 2 years ago

we have the very same philosophy on how to “do” trick or treating.

Valiant_Rose 2 years ago

Yes! I am 100% behind you on this! …except for the coconut. I’ve always loved chocolate with coconut inside 😉

Kati 2 years ago

Ha, ha, ha, I love it. I soooo agree and YES I am with you! Now one more thing to add. Let the kids dress up to be a scary monster. For the love…if one more person looks at me like I have three heads because I say my DD wants to be a witch and DS a skeleton I will scream. So you don’t let your 5 year old be a zombie good for you but don’t judge me because I see no lasting harm in letting my kids play dress up how they like for a night. Plus it is HALLOWEEN not DISNEYCHARACTEROWEEN…just and FYI. That is all :)