'Lick Me Where I Fart' Says Wildly Inappropriate Teacher

by Mike Julianelle
Originally Published: 
Image via Twitter/Shutterstock

‘Lick me where I fart’ is the latest in long string of vulgar statements teacher directed at students

It can’t be easy to maintain your patience when you’re in charge of wrangling groups of teenagers every day – god knows many of us have a hard time keeping it together with just one or two kids! – so it’s understandable that a teacher might lose his or her cool once in a while. But when telling off your students becomes a habit, it might be time for a break.

A break is exactly what Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson, a teacher at Dunnville Secondary School in Ontario, Canada got for her behavior, according to Buzzfeed. She was suspended for a month without pay, and is currently awaiting a hearing – which takes place on September 23 – on a multitude of charges of professional misconduct.

Among the alleged incidents for which Green-Johnson is being investigated are:

  • telling a student to “lick me where I fart” (I think she means her butthole!)
  • calling one student a “bloody pedophile” (‘Bloody?’ I thought Canadians were more French than British?)
  • remarking that one student “looked like a frumpy old lady today” (sick burn)
  • telling a student who attempted to get a passing grade by bribing the teacher with muffins, “I’d be able to shit for a week ’cause of all that fiber.” (She’s not wrong?)
  • told a student who brought in coffee, “Get that fucking thing out of here” (she must prefer tea)
  • told a student, “I have never said this to a student before but fuck you” (This one is my favorite but somthing tells me she has said that to a student before)
  • “It’s debate, not masturbate” to the class (to be fair, we don’t yet know what Trump will do on stage next week…)

She should have been a comedian instead of a teacher. And something tells me the students probably find her pretty entertaining. But all jokes aside, this kind of behavior obviously isn’t appropriate for someone who interacts with, and is meant to be educating, our children. Especially the next generation of Canadians, who have incredible standards of kindness to live up to!

Especially when you read the full document of her transgressions, which veer far from simply entertaining and get rather disturbing.

She allegedly told students that she “had been raped and therefore did not trust men around her children” and upon witnessing two students playfully wrestling in the halls, said to one, “so you like it from behind.”


It seems to us that Green-Johnson could probably use more than a month off from teaching, and might want to seek immediate counseling before doing something even worse.

This article was originally published on