Tess Holliday: 'Women Are Not Rehab Centers For Men'

by Cassandra Stone
Nick Holliday (L) and Tess Holliday
Ray Tamarra/Getty

Tess Holliday shares she’s been single for a year in a new Instagram post that will make you say, “PREACCHHH”

If you’re in a relationship with a man or have ever been in a relationship with a man (especially a cishet one), then you’re gonna want to listen up with Tess Holliday‘s latest Instagram post. Because it doesn’t matter how functional our relationships with men are, 1.) They probably weren’t always, and 2.) We’ve all dated a trashbag at one point or another. Basically, her latest post should be required reading.

Over the weekend, Holliday, a mom, model, and fabulous social media presence everyone should be following, announced that she was officially single and had been for a year.

She didn’t elaborate on whether she was officially divorced from husband Nick Holliday, but she basically said she felt ready to share the news with the world after adjusting to her new personal and family life on her own. In her most recent Instagram post, she said she knew the news would garner a surprising reaction from her fans.

“I obviously know that I’m a public figure, & y’all see what I choose to share, which isn’t always indicative of real life. So I understand that to some of you, it was a shock,” she writes.


“I’m always honest & transparent with y’all, but at the end of the day, I’m a human being, & deserving of respect,” she explained. “Even though I got overwhelming support that day, there were still a lot of people that said pretty hurtful, judgemental, & unfair things, and I’m not going to lie, some of them really got to me. So I snapped these photos that evening, for just myself, because I wasn’t feeling my best, but now I want to share them.”

She further explained she’s a “fat, queer, single working mom” and is taking time to find herself and figure out who she is and what she wants now that she’s single after seven years. But here’s the kicker of the entire post: “I stand by what I said, women shouldn’t be responsible for rehabilitating men.”


She mentioned a few Instagram accounts that center on female empowerment, and credited their nuggets of wisdom for helping her get through the past year. She also highlighted what emotional manipulation looks like on her Twitter account, posted the same day she announced she was officially single.

How many of us can relate to this? Whether we dumped them or married them, how many of us can say we feel like the men we’ve let into our lives have become “better” because of us? Think about the emotional labor we’ve had to endure just to make some men become more acceptable human beings. Why does this fall on the shoulders of the women they date? Why do we feel we have to undo an entire lifetime of crap behavior? There is such a difference between growing with someone and rehabilitating someone, and Tess Holliday f*cking nails it.


Because she undoubtedly received criticism for separating from her husband because children are involved (ah, the sexism is ripe even in 2020), she doubled down on her newly empowered stance in her latest Instagram post:

“Women often get blamed for not doing ‘enough’ to ‘save’ their relationships. Guess what? We don’t have to carry that. We are only responsible for ourselves and our actions. I feel more empowered & happier than ever, & only got to this place by fully understanding my own worth.”