It’s that time of year, folks. The big winter holidays are on the horizon, and you know what that means… spending a Thanksgiving meal hearing your obnoxious, sexist Uncle Fred make jokes about women’s bodies. Or sweating it out in the kitchen while your bratty nieces and nephews color on the walls and smear chocolate into the rug while their parents sit on the couch drinking and pretending they don’t see it. Or you spend 12 hours cooking and your MIL refuses to say thank you or utter one single compliment. So fun, right?
Unless you don’t. Unless you say screw all y’all, book a trip to an exotic island (or a hotel down the street—doesn’t matter—as long as you escape) and do Thanksgiving your own way. I mean, turkey is overrated anyway IMO. I’ll take a quiet day to myself and chicken nuggets instead, thanks.
The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for many, they just swirl up drama with extended family and drama with exes. They drain our bank accounts, require days of preparation, and exhaust us beyond measure. If doing all that is 100% worth it to you and Thanksgiving brings you true joy, then have it, friend. The more pies, the better! But if you find yourself muttering WTF at 9:00pm on Thanksgiving night when your kitchen sink is overflowing with dishes and pans to scrub and you’re cleaning up shards of glass because Aunt Kathy broke your favorite wine glass AGAIN… maybe it’s not worth it after all.
Maybe you need to order some takeout and cancel the whole thing. Aunt Kathy and Uncle Fred can find another family to annoy this year.
Confessional #25860157“DH's extended family isn't toxic, but they are loud, rowdy, highly annoying people, and I really do not want to spend Thanksgiving with them. Even our kids don't like them! DH isn't ready to break ties, though.”
Confessional #25857836“I won't be telling the family about my diagnosis at Thanksgiving. I'd rather not have my personal business shared on facebook, my food choices judged, or receive articles about how to reverse my disease with crystals, keto, or essential oils.”
Confessional #25853923“Got a relative that's vegan and refined sugar free and we all accommodate for family meals. Thanksgiving was the hardest! Found out she eats sweets and occasional meat, eggs, and dairy at home. I'm telling her to bring her own Thanksgiving meal this year!”
Confessional #25854019“dear hubs, please don't invite your sis and her bum of a husband, grown daughter and grandkids. they are loud obnoxious freeloaders. lets enjoy thanksgiving this year. they won't come if you don't ask. so keep your mouth shut. thanks in advance.”
Holidays are all about family, right? Sure! Of course! Unless your family members are obnoxious a-holes and you can’t stand to be around them. Then maybe the holidays should be about something else.
Confessional #25859346“I wish I could hide for Thanksgiving. I have no desire to spend time with family this year. I just want some peace and quiet. I'd be more happy getting some Chinese and watching 24 hours of Law and Order SVU”
Confessional #25858650“I'm afraid to ask DS about his Thanksgiving plans. I love him, but having him and his new girlfriend in my house for a whole week? Ugh. I like my space and quiet.”
Confessional #25857602“My adult SK's have already started pestering us, asking if we are hosting Thanksgiving for them. Shoot me now.”
Listen fam, we love you. We really, really do. But we also really, really love peace and quiet. So, find another table this year to eat your turkey. We’re taking the year off. *Locks door. Puts on pajamas. Turns on Netflix.*
Confessional #25847331“I always thought it was so rude when I'd bust my ass making Thanksgiving dinner and my SILs and FIL would gush about how delicious MILs one dish was. Hey, fuckers, I busted my ass here so compliment my dishes too!”
Confessional #25852186“I'm so frustrated with my MIL. She has been trying everything to break me down to have a family get together for Christmas and Thanksgiving. My LO is unvaccinated! Vaccinated people can still be carriers! But it's still not getting through to my MIL.”
Confessional #25851276“Unless ILs get vaccinated, I’m not hosting them for thanksgiving or Christmas this year. They can fuck right off.”
Ugh… the in-laws. It’s always the in-laws. Between them refusing to get vaxxed, or making judgmental comments about our house, our kids, or our cooking, we’re just done. Allllll set with the passive-aggressive BS.
Confessional #25860119“Because exH whined, I now have to have 2 separate Thanksgivings.”
Confessional #25859279“Stbxh invited me out to his house (I have a shitty apt thanks to him) for Thanksgiving. He "misses us" (my cooking), doesn't want to be alone (had a fight with new gf). Now he's mad because I already have plans with my family. Too bad, fucking cheater.”
Confessional #25858938“H cheated & ruined our marriage 4 months ago. Now he's hinting around at me inviting him to thanksgiving at my place. Who tf does that?? His sexy new gf can cook him a fucking turkey. Or better yet he can cook his own turkey, then shove it up his ass.”
Confessional #25858664“ExH is fishing for a Thanksgiving dinner invite at my house. Fuck. No.”
And then there’s the ex! The drama never ends. No, you can’t come over you jerk. Cook your own damn turkey. This baster is all dried up (at least for you, anyway.)
Confessional #25856840“Made restaurant reservations for Thanksgiving. Actually cheaper than buy everything and making it at home and WAYYYY less work.”
Confessional #25860141“We planned a beach vacation for the week of Thanksgiving. I'm SO glad to be missing out on all the drama of a traditional Thanksgiving meal with my extended family.”
Confessional #25859952“I work in healthcare. Due to staffing shortages, I will have to work all through Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thank god. The holidays are canceled for me this year.”
Confessional #25854214“Got an unexpected bonus at work and booked a luxury vacation for Thanksgiving. No parents, no in laws, no cooking! Just our little family, spending our hard earned money on ourselves.”
So yeah, lots of us are saying SCREW THAT this year and have canceled Thanksgiving altogether. Or, we’re skipping town to enjoy it at the beach, in the sunshine, WITHOUT our MIL. Or we volunteered to work—anything is better than passing the stuffing to our drunk, racist uncle.
Listen, friends. This is your holiday too. Don’t force yourself to spend it with crappy people. Thanksgiving is about feeling thankful for the blessings in your life. Obnoxious Uncle Fred who walks around with mustard on his shirt all day is not a blessing! You don’t need to give your home, your energy, or your time to him or anyone else you don’t want to. If you can’t afford to jet off to Hawaii (who can?) just make dinner reservations instead. Or pop some pizza bites in the oven, stay in your pajamas all day, and lock the door. Let everyone else fend for themselves.
(Just don’t forget to buy a big ol’ pie anyway, even if you skip Thanksgiving. Because pie is life.)