So yeah, while I’m trying to get my heart rate up for the recommended 20 minutes, my kids are interrupting me every 20 seconds with some demand or comment or just a request to “snuggle” as I slump in plank pose on my noodle arms. Below, the 34 things my kids want from me while I’m trying to exercise.
1. A snack
2. To turn on the TV
3. To wipe someone’s bottom
4. To change the channel on the TV
5. To make up a story that would be better than the one on the TV
6. Another snack. No, they did not just have one, that was hours ago and they are still starving to death, please make seven pieces of bacon.
7. To look at this boo-boo. It’s right there. Right there. RIGHT THERE.
8. To report that someone’s foot itches
9. To get Connect Four down from the shelf
10. To settle a dispute: who is red and who is black in Connect Four
11. An egg, a cotton ball and the pillows from my bed
12. One of my bras, because “we’re just trying something”
13. To alert me that the younger brother has just eaten a cotton ball
14. To just ask: What happens if raw egg is in a bra?
15. To call and ask Jack’s mother for a playdate, right now because I haven’t seen Jack in FOREVER
16. To price out some new paint colors for their room, something ninja
17. To report that “someone” stinks
18. To boot up the computer so he can play a game
19. To make seven more pieces of bacon
20. To quickly just open the email so he can write “happy birthday” to grandma
21. The credit card “secret code”
22. To ask what “life-size” means
25. To ask what is a “pen pal”
26. Also what is a “loosie”
27. To screech a Tyrannosaurus rex sound
28. To just point the computer camera at me for two seconds
30. To ask what is a “hashtag”
31. To say “hah hah #wobblymama is trending”
32. To say “look mommy, it’s you!”
33. To help me put away the yoga mat
34. To refuse dinner
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