The 34 Things My Kids Want From Me While I'm Trying To Exercise

So yeah, while I’m trying to get my heart rate up for the recommended 20 minutes, my kids are interrupting me every 20 seconds with some demand or comment or just a request to “snuggle” as I slump in plank pose on my noodle arms. Below, the 34 things my kids want from me while I’m trying to exercise.

1. A snack

2. To turn on the TV

3. To wipe someone’s bottom

4. To change the channel on the TV

5. To make up a story that would be better than the one on the TV

6. Another snack. No, they did not just have one, that was hours ago and they are still starving to death, please make seven pieces of bacon.

7. To look at this boo-boo. It’s right there. Right there. RIGHT THERE.

8. To report that someone’s foot itches

9. To get Connect Four down from the shelf

10. To settle a dispute: who is red and who is black in Connect Four

11. An egg, a cotton ball and the pillows from my bed

12. One of my bras, because “we’re just trying something”

13. To alert me that the younger brother has just eaten a cotton ball

14. To just ask: What happens if raw egg is in a bra?

15. To call and ask Jack’s mother for a playdate, right now because I haven’t seen Jack in FOREVER

16. To price out some new paint colors for their room, something ninja

17. To report that “someone” stinks

18. To boot up the computer so he can play a game

19. To make seven more pieces of bacon

20. To quickly just open the email so he can write “happy birthday” to grandma

21. The credit card “secret code”

22. To ask what “life-size” means

23. $124

24. Snack

25. To ask what is a “pen pal”

26. Also what is a “loosie”

27. To screech a Tyrannosaurus rex sound

28. To just point the computer camera at me for two seconds

29. Snack

30. To ask what is a “hashtag”

31. To say “hah hah #wobblymama is trending”

32. To say “look mommy, it’s you!”

33. To help me put away the yoga mat

34. To refuse dinner