15 Differences In The First Child Vs. The Second

Children playing in inflatable pool

1. Celebrating 
The first child: When we were expecting our first child, people celebrated me as though no woman had ever had a baby before. I was showered with gifts and attention by family, friends, family friends and friends of family friends’ dogs. Upon arrival of the baby, visitors crowded the waiting room and lined up around the block. You have never seen so many homemade lasagnas in your life.
The next one: Umm…where did everybody go?

2. Documentation
Your first childPhoto documentation began before my pregnant belly was even visible and continued weekly (more like daily) throughout the first two years of our daughter’s life on the outside.
The next oneAny pictures that captured my second pregnancy were inadvertent until near the end, when we decided we had better take a few shots on purpose just to prove it happened.

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3. Illness
The first child: The baby was sniffle free her whole first year of life.
The next oneDue to the infectiousness of her older sibling, now in preschool, the baby has had a runny nose since the week after her birth. She can see us coming with the snot sucker from across the room and it takes all three of us to hold her down to use it.

4. Time Management
The first child: There was no time to do anything but care for the baby. Outings were carefully timed so as not to anger the gods of Nap. I could not commit to any plans without a caveat regarding the likelihood of my cancelling them, because one day’s schedule could not predict the next.
The next oneI cannot conceive how I ever felt busy caring for only one child and though I continue to respect naps, it would be impossible for me to make the world stop spinning in order to always accommodate the baby at the exact moment she is ready. (By ‘the world’ I mean my preschooler, by ‘spinning’ I mean spinning.)

5. Nursing
The first child: I had great big hopes that my breasts would rebound post nursing.
The next oneAll hope is lost. But I’m still pulling for pelvic realignment.

6. Attentiveness
The first child: We rushed to respond to night time crying for the baby’s sake.
The next oneWe rush to respond to night time crying so that she won’t wake up her sister.

7. Cleanliness
The first childThe baby got a complete wardrobe change upon receiving the tiniest drop of spit up.
The next oneWipe slobber and spit up off with other parts of the clothes she is wearing, the clothes I am wearing, rub it off (or rather in) with my thumb, dangle her so she launches it onto the ground. In short, use whatever method of cleanup is most handy and carry on. Spit up and slobber are nothing compared to what her sister uses to dirty clothes. Exponential laundry increase is one of the great shocks of having a second child.

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8. Development
The first childWe encouraged motor skill and ambulatory development. Praised all accomplishments.
The next oneHave strapped to the floor with duct tape knowing what difficulties baby mobility brings. I try every day but still cannot physically move in two opposing directions at once. Once the baby starts running around, I will have to decide which child to sacrifice in order to chase after the other.

9. Safety
The first childAny baby proofing done was to protect from the dangers of the house.
The next oneHow could anyone think a house is dangerous compared to a three year old? This baby climbs the stairs by herself on the way to her daily sibling self defense class.

10. Closeness
The first childI wanted to hold her all the time, she was my first. Her sleeping on me was bliss and I had the leisure to doze at random with her at any point during the day.
The next oneI want to hold her all the time, she is my last. Her sleeping on me is rare because her sister does not recognize my right to be still.

11. Productivity
The first childOn the weekends the family ran errands together. It seemed we had all the time in the world and every trip was novel. There were two of us and one of her…nothing could impede our progress.
The next oneDivide and conquer. This took a few trips to figure out. Inevitably, one of us would have to make an emergent potty run into a store with the toddler, while the other sat in the parked car nursing the newborn. This left no one to accomplish the errand. (To ease your suspense, it was me in the car.) As I write this I realize that during the week, I run the errands by myself with both girls. Hey wait a minute, that’s not fair…

12. Organization
The first childThe house became increasingly scattered with baby gear and toys. I was excited when she grew out of all those clunky baby gadgets such as the activity mat, exersaucer and high chair, until I realized bigger kids have bigger stuff.
The next oneMinimal adult possessions remain. However many attractive receptacles I can find, they are not enough.

13. Benefits
The first childHad the benefit of all my attention. Good thing because I had no idea what I was doing.
The next oneHas the benefit of my experience. Good thing because I am busy explaining to her sister why she doesn’t get all of the attention anymore.

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14. Life Impact
The first childThe shock of parenthood was tremendous and the realization that I couldn’t turn back was scary like I swallowed a boulder and jumped off a bridge.
The next oneTimes two.

15. Lovability
The first childBrought the most powerful of all love into my life for the first time.
The next oneBrought the most powerful of all love into my life for the first time, again. (My apologies if the sentiment makes you throw up in your mouth, that is just the way it is.)

Related post: 7 Differences Between Your First and Second Pregnancies

About the writer

Carisa Miller is a sarcasm wielding, cherub lugging, cheese devouring, nut-job writer. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her astonishingly patient husband, two fireball daughters, and an ill-tempered cat. You can find her words strewn across Carisa Miller-Do You Read Me?  where something meaningful occasionally leaks through one-liners and run-on sentences.

From Around the Web


Laura 6 months ago

You’d be surprised, my five on the weekends are actually easier than my two during the week. You’ve got mob mentality on your side. With two, if one doesn’t want to listen the other is likely to follow because she doesnt want to be the only one behaving. With six, if one doesn’t want to listen, they usually decide pretty fast they don’t want to be the only one NOT listening and it works out in your favor.
You also find yourself doing a lot of things in lines. Lines for meals, lines for chores. In my house the most commonly uttered phrase is “minions/nerdlings/tiny loud people overrunning my house! QUEUE UP!” Followed by the thunder that can only be produced by five pairs of feet scrambling to do as told. Is it a treat? Is it a chore? No telling until they arrive arrive and by then it’s too late to escape.

Da 6 months ago

I have a 2 yr old and expecting my 2nd child. I cant wait!!!

Sher 6 months ago

Oh my, how funny! I wish I had seen something like this when I had my second. They are now 19 & 15 and I went through a lot of “mommy guilt” because no one was open about these type of feelings back then. I always felt like I was the only one who felt this way. Thanks for opening the pressure value on the guilt by being honest.

Mary Bertetto 8 months ago

Wait for the 6th one!

Carisa Miller 8 months ago

Thanks, all, for the laughter and support!

Kelly Rogers 8 months ago

All of this is so true! I especially like the part about the snot sucker hahaha

Sandy Rogers 8 months ago

I’ll still get excited!!!!

Kathleen Burbank 8 months ago

So amazing the number of shares across all platforms! That is so cool! And the piece is hysterical! You mean it will get harder when I have the second one?!

Lisa Rae Thompson 8 months ago

How many of you got a push present? You know what push present my husband gave me? MY KIDS.

Anna Buckingham 8 months ago

Hahaha. Yep.

Kelly Burbage Baldwin 8 months ago

This is spot on. Love it–laugh out loud moments that only parents can understand.

Tara Rountree Wood 8 months ago

Congratulations, friend! You deserve all good things <3

Jessica Ziegler 8 months ago

Very cool!!

Kathy James 8 months ago

I was lucky, my aunt came to stay and was there to help me with my first and my mother-in-law not only help take care of my son while I gave birth to my daughter but helped out after!!!

Miriam J Albaum 8 months ago

I know the feeling. I was #2

Kim Marks Johnson 8 months ago

And by the 3rd pregnancy, people said to us “You already have a girl and a boy, why would you have a third?” Smh

Justin Dolinger 8 months ago

Great piece! It’s gonna take you awhile to re-read all those comments!

Jessica Patterson 8 months ago

Wait till the third one. Then you get the oh so wonderful comments. “Dont you know how that happens?” “Another one?!”. The second and third especially if they are a different gender than the other are when you need the most gifts. I hold up the girl’s baby stuff and ask my husband if it is too girly for our son to wear lol.

Jocelyn Edwards Miller 8 months ago

Yes… When I’m out and about with 2 of mine I get lots of compliments and “oh what a cute baby.” When school is out and I have all three with me, I get death stares. And the occasional… “Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

Maro Herrera 8 months ago

Yeah that happened to me Hahaha But my second was like Another one? What are you crazy? And then i was all alone at the hospital cuz hubby needed to stay with my 1st

Angie Shaw 8 months ago

I love reading your post there hysterically true most of us has been there but few dare to admit it

Amy Mullenhoff Poore 8 months ago


Laura O’ Dwyer 8 months ago

Time will tell…..:)

Desiree Gaffney 8 months ago

This is so incredibly true!

Juney Macroney 8 months ago

Agree. They look at you like you’ve grown a second head. Not much kindness to the third pregnancy.

Sarah Barnetson 8 months ago

So so true

Cristina Silva Ruhland 8 months ago

Ditto! With my third it was just me & baby for two days, I had a scheduled csection. Hubby went home after baby was born with the older two and returned only to pick us up.

Autumn Willow 8 months ago

Only one person brought me food when I had my baby (first) a few months ago; I was disappointed. We are legal guardians for two older kids and some casseroles or lasagnas would have greatly appreciated, especially since I was recovering from an emergency c section.

Autumn Willow 8 months ago


Kaydee Anderson 8 months ago

Not so true for me for all four of mine there was a waiting room full of relatives waiting to hear the news my mom was there for every one and I was there for all of my daughter’s children as I will be for all of my other kids when their time comes. … a new life is something to celebrate first or ninth they are all important and should be celebrated each and EVERY time.

Tina Marie Hayes 8 months ago

I had to host my own for my first. Family didnt bother as my sister was pregnant at the same time.

Gretchen Kennedy 8 months ago

It’s even more sad the third time around when it’s christmas and your family gets to see the 6 month old for the first time! :/

Laura Marie Didricksen 8 months ago

Try times 3 lol

Tanya Graham 8 months ago

Yes!!!! Lol!

Marion Mitchell-Mosher 8 months ago

This makes me abhorrently sad that some feel a second life being welcomed into the family isn’t worth celebrating. All children born into or adopted into a family DESERVE celebration. And a mother should be celebrated all the time!

Lorie Goodwin Fennel 8 months ago

That’s what my family did for my second child. We called it a sprinkle as well. My first was a girl & my second was a boy so I did need boy clothes.

Jessica Kistler Griggs 8 months ago

My mother did everything for my first and I mean everything my second never once did she do a thing not even a paci from the dollar store

Michelle Bastien 8 months ago

Yeah the second I still had visitors, with the third not so much.

Marge Talmadge Brown 8 months ago

Same thing here

Melanie Lapensee 8 months ago

Yeah even lost some people in my life cause they didn’t care at all

Alicia Frei 8 months ago

So glad to hear that it’s normal to have a second pregnancy TOTALLY under celebrated!! Q

Melissa Cantara 8 months ago

So true

Debbie Brown Kirkhoff 8 months ago

Is it a new thing to host your own baby shower,know someone who did just that. And having third child to boot.

Judy Fournier 8 months ago

Like the duct tape idea on mobility…

Cathy Tennyson 8 months ago

Wow lol

Lisa Trede 8 months ago

All so true!

Jan Chrapcynski Steuart 8 months ago

#8 is hilarious

Tania Simmons 8 months ago

Silly isn’t it, while you don’t need the world hovering at the hospital, with each successive child the need for a helping hand when home increases and yet the offer decrease. Even my parents who came to be with B1 left once I got home, so essentially they cared for my child and husband but then I was on my own. Why, as women, don’t our mothers, mother-in-laws, sisters, girlfriends etc. get this???

Jennifer Lynn Maglaris 8 months ago

#7 all the way! My 6 month old spitting up on his onesie is nothing compared to what my two-year old is getting into on a daily basis!

Ema Leese 8 months ago

I got visits for all 3 of mine..and I didn’t have a baby shower with #1 or #2 but I did with #3 and I got a 3d scan with my 3rd…I guess it was because it was my last..so I wanted to do everything I didn’t get to do before

Jennifer Hampson 8 months ago

We did that with my kids too and it was great!! When we had our daughter, we got all of the big items and lots of little things too, but then my next two were both boys, so it was kind of fun having a little something for them too. Plus, since my oldest is a girl, there was a limited number of clothing items that could be handed down, so people had fun buying boy things. : )

Averil Nolan 8 months ago

Oh dear what have we done?????

Amanda King Kogut 8 months ago

On point!

Tiffaney Carlisle 8 months ago

I don’t understand why people get so uptight about the baby part. Be concerned for me 13 years from now when they are all teenagers and young adults

Freebe Albers 8 months ago

I had twins first, fixed most of these issues immediately.

Pamela Marie 8 months ago

#6!!! Sooooo true!

Jennifer Gordon 8 months ago

I am very careful to show nothing but full hearted joy and enthusiasm when people tell me they have lots of kids. I know they’ve heard every lame line in the world. I love big families and think they add a unique value to society.

Susie Jacobs 8 months ago

I was getting Duggar remarks at #4. One family member asked: what the hell are you going to do? I was like, um, Breastfeed it and change diapers…the same as all the others!

Melody Dawn Gormley 8 months ago

Wait till your 3rd!

Amy @ Carriage Before Marriage 8 months ago

I have a 4yo girl and am pregnant with my 2nd girl so I feel like you wrote this just for me…and I’m scared!

Jessica Smith Plant 8 months ago

First was everyone we ever met bearing a gift. Second child they said aw, you’ll get a girl next time and left. Third time with twin pregnancy complete strangers bought us diapers and came to visit.

Meghan Butler Allen 8 months ago

Yes, experiencing this now!

Lauren Kupke-Arconti 8 months ago

I’m loving being left alone to gestate in peace!

Shandel 8 months ago

Some of the second child ones I’ve kind of been doing from the start. Especially number eight. ” I will have to decide which child to sacrifice in order to chase after the other.” That made me laugh so hard because it seemed so true to me then. It isn’t as much of an issue now. *I had twins my first pregnancy.

Rachel Wyrick 8 months ago

That’s funny I just had my first child last month and I feel limited like it was a 2nd or even 3rd child for the way people reacted. Yeah on dba they all said congrats but when it came to people really being it was so sad and disappointing not to mention the day after was my bday. !! Find out a lot about people when you have a baby!

Henry N Amber Gagnon 8 months ago

By the 5th people are like, “Oh you guys had another baby?! Don’t you know how that happens?”

Christina Annette 8 months ago

Spot on

Laureen Giovannetti Andre 8 months ago

So true even with number 3 and 4 but the love grows exponentially! Enjoy!

Crystal Enriquez de Anda 8 months ago

Haha! Love this!

Jessica Gardea 8 months ago

I loved this article. Especially with getting the weekly notification to remind you of how many weeks you are. I can relate ! Lol

Ashley ‘Schriefer’ Flaumenhaft 8 months ago

True lol

Jessica Lyn 8 months ago

My first, I kept waiting for someone to show up and saint him. The third? I keep waiting for someone to offer to babysit.

Yuliana Sanchez 8 months ago

I think it depends on the people and how close you really are to the family…. For example I gave birth and the only two people that went to see me were my mom and one of my sisters other than that no one really made an effort to come see me…I’m not gonna lie it really hurt my feelings and everyone’s excuse was YOU LIVE SO FAR AWAY keep in mind I live about an hour and a half away I’m not in another state so honestly it depends on how close you are

Tara Lytton Cochran 8 months ago

I was just thinking about this today as I put away Christmas tree ornaments. My first born has many special ornaments that were given to her or made with her and my second just has a couple. I think sometimes this is why I spoil my second…she will never catch up to the first. :/

Tania Leigh 8 months ago

Second I got lots more attention. Sister missed work for my birth, mom came from Germany, friends visited but my father had passed away the week before her birth after me spending almost the entire pregnancy in ICU after my dad was hit by drunk driver.

Martha McCollum 8 months ago

Or the 2nd one comes 12 years later! People asked what I was thinking lol

Tracie Harris 8 months ago

So true :)

Lindsey Maggio-Kasten 8 months ago

I just had my second and asked people to wait until we got home to see the baby, only because there was too much happening when I had my first. Only a few friends showed up. *shrug

jennifer 8 months ago

As i sit here jiggling my #4 daughter to sleep to have her nap before the older 3 return from school , i must say this article gave me a laugh. With each kid we learn new quirks or techniques and conquer what seemed impossible before with silent determination with no cheering crowds at our tasks completed ( but seriously we deserves the crowds sometimes) we try to remember when we last enjoyed a hot coffee or a lunch out .. we realize the lack of clean clothes, the untidy hair and endless supply of comfy yoga pants its still worth every moment

Kimberley Bartone Henson 8 months ago

I wasn’t invited to either one of my baby showers. My family (in Ohio) threw one for each of my kids and mailed all the stuff (and pics of everyone having a good time) to me in Missouri.

Caroline Noelle Maghanga 8 months ago

True. Wen I had my first I got over 100 cards. Wen I had my 2nd I got 3 cards!!

Cassie Williams 8 months ago

Completely different experience for me. Baby 1 born poorly. No one came. No one ever wanted to hold her or help. Baby 2 born ok. Everyone asks for a hold. It has really upset me x

Jami Lear 8 months ago

I never got attention, shower and no one lined up around the block. Now with #4 ppl are making such a big deal about it.

Elizabeth Stewart 8 months ago

#3 & #8!!!

Sharon Budworth 8 months ago

Will be at no.8 very soon. I love that she says still trying to move in opposing directions at the same time. Yep will be trying that one soon enough.

Brian Finley Miller 8 months ago

Dang ! I always thought everyone was the same and now that I’m 65 u surprise me ! Lol

Stephanie De Bear 8 months ago

By the second I was like, “ugh don’t come. I’ll just have to get dressed and shower.”

Monica Rickler Marks 8 months ago

All I can think of is why the number of children someone has is ever anyone else’s business, and it certainly doesn’t give them the right to share unsolicited opinions to the parents! Each child is a miracle, no matter what order they arrive.

Mariana Garcia Pontes 8 months ago

3 & 4 omg!

Carrie Osentoski 8 months ago

Then there is the third….

Melissa Mowatt 8 months ago

None of this is true for us! I treated my second born exactly the same as the first

Stephanie Brinsley 8 months ago


Andi Piscatella 8 months ago

No fanfare for me and I have only one.

Dana Ibach Cordero 8 months ago

Yup. Especially when everyone found out my second was another boy. It was really sad. :/ Everyone got excited again for my third once they knew it was a girl.

Jen Holland Page 8 months ago

Hmm think second was bad they really disappear with consecutive children. Not only that I’m pretty sure they start avoiding you think you’re a just starting out duggar. ..

Sandra Leigh 8 months ago

This happened with the first? Really? I experienced no such thing.

Joyce Stewart 8 months ago

I discovered there is something unfair about having 3 kids and only 2 hands.

Adrianne Ward Burney 8 months ago

The only reason that didn’t happen for me 5 years ago was because my first born turned 12 two days after her brother was born.

Kimberly Triemstra Quirk 8 months ago

I love the idea of a sprinkle! Wish someone had done that for me for kid #3!

Jennifer Beth 8 months ago

The same applies when your baby goes from newborn to infant lol at first everyone visits and brings gifts then 3 months later they are like who’s that?? Hehe so depressing

Eleanor Viola Cullen 8 months ago

I will always be there!

Jessica Donahue Loch 8 months ago

Hubby pampers you for the first and a little less with each subsequent pregnancy

Debbie Goodsir 8 months ago

Haha omg. This is so true

JoJo Deley 8 months ago

Haha yep. Even more so when they are only a year apart 😛

Rachel Medley 8 months ago

Mean eyeballs and nose snarls when you place children for adoption and then decide to have a family later (as if). Some people can not handle when you have the nerve to live your own life.

Jaime Michelle Leppard 8 months ago

It has to be easier with the second one, right?

ChadandAmy Duggin 8 months ago

Umm the 2nd one I threatened my husband with his life if he told anyone (I was induced both times) outside of our parents. I was NOT going to go through that ordeal again, with my room popping with people round the clock, trying to nurse a baby, get rest, and enjoy our newborn. My BP stayed off the charts with the nonstop “well wishers” chaos of the first one! If we have a 3rd, I told him he can just take me to the hospital, wait for the baby to be born, and then go home with our other 2 until he has to pick me up. That sounds like such bliss-2 days alone in a hospital being waited on with my new precious baby!!!

Chrissie Quez 8 months ago

Even tho its silly, I was kinda sad when I had to walk into the baby store and buy all the stuff for my second, he is 5 years younger than my oldest and we really needed some new things, a little tiny shower would have been nice, from someone, anyone!!! lol :(

Zoe Potter 8 months ago

Just had my 2nd-this is all so true!

Becky Funk 8 months ago

And then comes the announcement of #4 and people LAUGH or just say “wow”. Plus all the other don’t you know what causes that comments. And forget getting someone to surprise you with dinner after you come home. Everyone disappears.

Catherine Van Der Hoek 8 months ago


Christy Benjamin- Leboeuf 8 months ago

I had my 2nd almost 14 years after my first, so she was like a first child all over again!!! And the only girl In our world of boys, so she was doubly celebrated!!! Lol

Kristie Herrington Zahn 8 months ago

And then the 3rd arrives and tumble weeds blow thru your house.

Joan Wood 8 months ago

Hah!! Lol! My second is six weeks old and I didn’t get a single casserole.

Maia Silvestro Masciangelo 8 months ago

So accurate and sadly funny.

Sheri Garvey 8 months ago

Actually had more visitors with #2 because while people wanted to come for the first, she ended up in the NICU and no one but parents or grandparents could go in. Cut our visitors massively! With number two we had so many visitors they were doubling up!

Carla Wilbanks 8 months ago

Or when your “second” is twins. And when “certain” family members don’t care about them because they are boys!

Christy Pulley 8 months ago

My 2nd baby girl came 16 yrs after my 1st wonderful girl, as probably all know very much a surprise but very much loved and celebrated!!

Katie Cameron Rokusek 8 months ago

I really don’t care for the entourage at the hospital. It’s my fourth, I’m using the hospital stay as a vacation. You don’t have to bring me gifts, pamper me or compliment us on our beautiful baby. If you clean my bathroom and leave food in my fridge, I’ll love you for life!!

Heather Santiago 8 months ago

Hahahaaa~ so true!!!!!

Tricia Mashig 8 months ago

Ha! So true! My hubs just made the birth of our second by half an hour because too busy arranging childcare for our first! My babies. I love them soooo much.

Shannon Connelly Bush 8 months ago

Reading all these comments makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone – just had #5 and I totally agree with everyone in saying the reactions aren’t what I expected when we announced “another” baby and he definitely wasn’t greeted into this world like our first two (twins) or even our third (but there’s a huge gap between them). People must think you have it down by now and you don’t need help lol!!

M Elissa D As 8 months ago

Lol! Yeah, ironically you need more help with 2+ kids, not less.

Tiffaney Carlisle 8 months ago

Try 1st vs the 6th
No one cares when your having #6
Instead of congratulations you get looks of disgust and remarks about trying to attain Duggar status.

Leigh Anne Harrell Hall 8 months ago

I don’t think I had but three visitors in the hospital when my second child was born :( no flowers or balloons and forget about anyone bringing food to your house!

Ashley Sue Adams 8 months ago

Wait for the third! She was even a different sex than the first two and it was like sitting in the hospital room with crickets chirping

Tanya Vergos Gill 8 months ago

All you get with the 4th is a bunch of people questioning your sanity!

Elbe Azihte 8 months ago

Omg hilarious!!!

Rachel Jones 8 months ago

My second one was the big deal. Maybe because he was 9 years after my first and unplanned! I think everyone felt sorry for me! LOL

Holly Ribarchik Ferry 8 months ago

This is why in my family we do a classic shower for baby (pregnancy) #1. We feel this allows big ticket items that can be reused for any future children. For any additional babies, we do a sprinkle. No big ticket items (unless needed like say we all go in on a stroller), but rather for practical items: diapers, wipes, gift cards for future needs.
This way all pregnancies and babies are celebrated equally.

Crystal Kornmeyer 8 months ago

Yeah, none of that was really true for me. I was never really obsessive about documenting, taking photos, I didn’t have hoardes of people waiting to see my new baby, etc. The biggest difference for me between one and two was having to divide my attention between both of them. With the third you run out of hands. By number four you’re just adding to the pre-existing chaos, lol.

Catherine Wygal 8 months ago

My husband and I took guardianship of our 7 year old niece a year ago to zero fanfare. No shower, no registries, no lasagnas, no help from family. I wouldn’t change taking her for anything in the world, but I must say this post and thread seem to be “champagne problems” to me.

Jenny Wilhelmi Black 8 months ago

My second comes almost 9 years after my first. I have no baby stuff at all. We should shower every baby! Diapers are always needed.

Darice Laubhan-Hanson 8 months ago

This is spot on…!!!

Crystal Underhill 8 months ago

Just wait until the 5th or 6th!!!

Diana 8 months ago

Three boys and a baby girl later, I laugh and nod at all of these! At least with baby girl, we waited almost four years before getting pregnant again, so ds3 is a month shy of five years older than her. She will be a year old in a month, and my oldest will be 11 in a week and I wonder every day how time flies so fast. I remember that first blissful year with my oldest and how it changed with his brother. Not QUITE as drastically as this describes, but my oldest would usually only nap when we were moving, so sleeping while he slept didn’t usually work out so well. I got used to doing my errands in order to achieve a Nap. To the point of taking long walks to the library and grocery store (small town life at it’s best) and VERY CAREFULLY carrying the stroller up the porch steps and very carefully wheeling it into the living room and parking it next to the couch so I could lay down and reach out to roll it back and forth at the slightest movement so I could catch a half hour or so because he didn’t sleep at night worth a darn. With ds2 and the others, I was in survival mode and learned about safe co-sleeping and did that. I still don’t get enough sleep because dd has her oldest brother’s sleep habits, but I get more than I did as a new mom! And I know if she has his sleep patterns now, she’ll hopefully have the same awesome nap schedule he did as a toddler! I hope. :)

Bethany Ann Smith 8 months ago

My daughters got equal attention! They were more excited during my first pregnancy but that’s understandable. And yes I do treat my daughters differently, because they are two separate people! They get the same amount of love but they each have their own personalities and needs

Suzy Millar 8 months ago


Kassidy Taylor Rummler 8 months ago

That was not at all my experience with my first baby unfortunately… Thanks to the military we didn’t know many people here. Is it wrong I really want my second experience to be what I missed out on?? The meals and visitors… It was so lonely last time :(

Tara Sander 8 months ago

My second came along 12 years later and I was surprised by this very thing. I thought, “really??!”

Sarah Louise Christiansen Masten 8 months ago

Ha! My second pregnancy was twins. So we have had a little more fanfare, but it’s still not the same as #1.

Amanda Land 8 months ago

Agree with all of it. Great article

Melissa Guajardo Button 8 months ago

My poor 3rd, most people made snide comments about the “accident baby” luckily it was a girl ( after 2 boys and 10 years age difference) she’s a sweetheart!

Liz Kennedy Wiechert 8 months ago

Actually, my friends and family were beyond fantastic when I was pregnant with my fourth. It was however, my 1st girl! <3

Rachel Fiorio Jamison 8 months ago

So true!

Jennifer Wagner 8 months ago

So true! My first i had people visit me in the hospital, send flowers. My second – the only flowers I had were from my father in law and only one friend came to the hospital. I had a c-section so was there for a while. It was lonely! My work also missed sending me flowers, it sucks to feel forgotten. :) But no matter what I have this pretty awesome little girl!

Stephanie Neuman 8 months ago

Unless your blessed with the miracle of twins second time!!

Subhagya A Wadekar 8 months ago

Wait. They are not the only ones. You will join them as well. As a mom, you will treat your second child a bit differently too in spite of loving both kids equally. Actually that will help the second child be more independent. Learnt from experience and guilty of babying the first one a lot more :-).

Melody Eckenrode 8 months ago

It is odd that somehow the more children you have, the less they seem to matter to family members and friends. Each of my daughters mean the world to me equally! I make sure they feel valued in my eyes.

Heather Lonon Vance 8 months ago


Natalie Sorensen 8 months ago

Wow… no one cooked for me, brought me food… nothing and I was recovering from csection and instant single mom…

Natalie Mortimer 8 months ago

Pfft… This is meant to be a whinge? I never got anything for my 1st baby… Not even family visiting. And even less for my 2nd.. No baby showers here!

Leah Reddecliffe 8 months ago

I just had my 4th daughter a month ago today. I have been showered with help and love. But that’s probably because my other three are 18,13,12. So I think the secret is to wait long periods between kids.

Shannon N Jake Birdwell 8 months ago

Too true!

Mary Kathryn Houser 8 months ago

My mother and grandmother both commented to me before the birth of our second daughter “we’ll love her, sure, but nothing takes the spot of a first born in our hearts. It’s special.” Talk about feeling like your child is not important.

Laura LaGrone 8 months ago

My poor mother had TEN…just imagine how much her village dissipated!!

Amanda Woodin 8 months ago

So true!

Jo Ann Hubbart 8 months ago

After number 6 they just start rolling their eyes when you mention children. :-)

Tracey Sochacki Coco 8 months ago

I was saying that after I brought the first one home!

Jacqueline Shutts-Pineda 8 months ago

We just had our fourth. Lol. Just a normal day. No fussing over this kid.

Robyn McCord 8 months ago

The 3rd is even worse! It’s like no one really cares whether it’s a boy or girl or what names you have picked out. No one asks any questions….it’s kind of depressing!!

Kim Houter 8 months ago

My grandfather hasn’t even seen my second child and she is almost 1 :0 he Only lives 1,5 Hours drive from here :(

Melissa Rodacy Reynolds 8 months ago

And then by the third people are like “Don’t you know what causes that???” It’s like having a third is the epitome of stupid. I love all THREE of my kids. And I loved doing what caused all of them! :p

Melodie Lane Bacon 8 months ago

How about the 5th? Haha! The only reason I’m getting attention with this one is that I have 4 boys and we are having a girl

Kristilyn Hukalo 8 months ago

We had people come to the hospital but didn’t have a ton of visitors past the first few weeks … And I think the homemade lasagne thing is a myth since we only had two people bring freezer meals. I would’ve LOVED to have had more … and more visits!

Ashley Blake 8 months ago

We treat our first and only child more like a second child. He’s not coddled, fussed over, etc.

Shelley Hooper 8 months ago

My mom didn’t even come to the hospital until about 12hrs after my second was born. I was devastated.

Jennie Fay 8 months ago

Or fourth! Ha ha

Sarah Scharber 8 months ago

Wait until the 3rd one!

Baby Care 9 months ago

Caring of two child is like danger zone because were you have to fulfill the demand of both and sometime you can come in the zone of confusion.

live hausfrauensex 9 months ago

Why viewers still mke usee of to read news papers when inn this technological globe all is available onn net?

NC 9 months ago

I don’t usually comment but we are expecting our 2nd and this is absolutely hilarious! If only more articles were written like this the reality of child birth would be a comedy hit in those maternity waiting rooms!

SiouxqieTK 10 months ago

Six? I commend you all… you must be brave, crazy or incredibly organized. ★just kidding, no one get mad★ seriously tnough, how do you wrangle six? Half the time I feel like I can barely wrangle my two boys…. (in my defdnse, we do have a fully operational micro-farm, and 7 dogs, two of which are working and one in training.)

lorella 10 months ago

Hi, i got pregnant with my first baby when i was 16 and now im 6 months pregnant with my second.. so it is 15 years apart. im so scared of giving birth with this one. I’ve been in a lot pain since the first month, a lot different with my first pregnancy.

Ivana 11 months ago

I couldn’t stop laughing, this is so true. I am now at No 3 and I can’t believe how much time I had when I only had to care for 2!

Leeann N 12 months ago

I laughed about the nursing one. They’re gone man, let ’em go XD Told my husband he better get used to be attracted to udders because that’s what I’m packin’ from here on out!

Linette 12 months ago

Great post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more
on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate
a little bit further. Appreciate it!

Kerry Colburn 12 months ago

Hello ladies! I’m the author of “How to Have Your Second Child First” and was so happy to see the rave review from Tia! It pleases my co-author hubby and me to no end when this book proves helpful (and sanity-saving) to other parents. Please reach out if you want to keep in touch; you can message me on FB via my name or the book title. (Coincidence, just the other day I shared the Scary Mommy post on Back to School in the 70s vs today. Funny stuff!) Also, I do sell signed copies of the book directly through Amazon if you have any baby gifts to give! Help those first-time mommies step away from the wipe warmers and video monitors, and slack off just a little bit like we all learned to do with the second kid. I’d be happy to personalize them for you, too. http://amzn.to/1qcSArs
Thanks again –Kerry Colburn

Laurie 1 year ago

So funny! I am about to have my second little boy soon, and was looking for posts about the second baby… it’s refreshing to read one that is just funny (and true), and not trying to go for shock value (everything you think you know is wrong) or guilt (you’re doing it wrong!) Thanks for sharing.

Chelsea 1 year ago

Hey! I also have 6 kids and I don’t know what I would do without any one of them!!

Stacey 1 year ago

My husband and I have been discussing baby number 2 but I have such a close bond with my little boy who is now 2.5 years old, that I am scared of losing that bond and closeness. Does this happen or am I being silly?

Pamela Farrell Arlen 1 year ago


neville KOOTAR 1 year ago

Double MOM Emily,
God Bless!!!! this is life, being the first born feel sorry for my younger brother.
Could not be further from the truth basis my two.
Celebrate your funny blog.

Debbie Pistore Ludwig 1 year ago

Explains a lot about the 3rd one, doncha think?

Krista Baltaiskalna 1 year ago

Don’t agree 😀

Tami Innes 1 year ago

Sooo soo very true!!!!

Kelsey Boyer 1 year ago

With my first I was a race to prove how awesome my kid was and make sure she hit all the milestones ahead of schedule and they were all thoroughly documented in the baby book with photos. With my second I forgot to even look for milestones and I’ve missed several months in the baby book. When did #2 start walking? Um.. I guess a couple months ago?

Kathy Williams 1 year ago

Was just telling hubby how it was a good thing Chris Tower was 2nd child instead of first. Chris had a runny nose her entire 1st year. Fevers were often and out of nowhere. If she had been born first, I would have been taking her to the doctor every week. As an experienced (LOL) mom, I knew some Tylenol and a nap work wonders.

Crystal Gayle O’Neal 1 year ago

Aww man. I laughed & cried. Love my two monster, spawn of Satan boys, more than life itself BUT some days….well ya know

J. Mehall 1 year ago

A mother of 3 (and all grown to adults now). It never changes from one generation to the next. I remember when I was expecting with my 3rd and trying to get the oldest to sleep while the middle child was napping. I literally laid on the bed with her with one let over hers and one arm across her to keep her down till her eyes closed. then I could close mine for ten min or so till the middle child would wake up. Three children, 4 and under was very time consuming. I would have had to wore a head cam to be able to take pictures.

Crystal Bowman 1 year ago

Most of this was not true for me. I did all on the same things this time around. But, that might be because he’s my second and last baby. My daughter holds the first baby spot in my heart and my son holds the last baby spot in my heart. (:

Rachel Marquardt 1 year ago

(Reading comments I have to say: oh my goodness. can’t even IMAGINE having more than 2!)

Rachel Marquardt 1 year ago

not all of these apply to me & not all in the same way (1st vs. 2nd), but I can 100% see how this might for some. (& others are spot on. :) )

Mellissa Swartley 1 year ago

Very true!!!!

Christina Hayes 1 year ago

Only one. It’s harder than one realizes. Primary entertainment committee for 18 years.

Sandy 1 year ago

My own babyhood is almost undocumented because I wasn’t the first (or the second, either). True, this was before it was so easy to take pictures, but I was so determined to document my second child’s life that she actually has better coverage than her older sister.

Kara Wyandt 1 year ago

And then there’s the seventh!

Emily Bassett 1 year ago

I feel like this is all so true!!!

Skye Chapman 1 year ago

I feel like she read my mind.

Christen MacArt Timms 1 year ago

So true! Esp #11! I say that to my hubby on a daily basis, “divide and conquer!”

Elissa Belknap Herbst 1 year ago

100% accurate. Every. Single. Word.

Robin 1 year ago

Yep. You go from playing one on one defense to playing ZONE. 😉 Great post!

Terry Murphy 1 year ago

What a load of old bollocks

sue birchall 1 year ago

So so true! Though I would add second child also has benefit of attention (admittedly not always welcome) of their sibling! I attribute my second walking confidently at 9.5 mo to ernest desire to keep up with his always interesting sister!

Robyn Langham 1 year ago

Having had 4 in 7 years , this rings true. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

Kylie MacPhail 1 year ago

Haha spot on!! This is awesome! Sophie Lee

Kathy Braddock 1 year ago

studying this very thing in child psychology right now

Ann Knight Roth 1 year ago

And when the third comes along ten years later she is treated like the only child or at least in my case that was how it worked out.

Jaimey Forrest 1 year ago

Haha so true!!

Ann Marie Kinney Frey 1 year ago

Wow. I disagree!

Brandy Lauderdale 1 year ago


Jenni Filipe 1 year ago

#8 made my afternoon! My kids are 6 years apart, nothing like running around with a baby in your arms behind an independent 7year old lol love it

Libby Fischbeck 1 year ago

I had 3 children in 4 years. AND I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN:)

Vicky Lievers 1 year ago

Oh so funny!! Did you learn a lot about your children. The people who wrote this are right on the money. It is so hard being a parent but in the end it is all worth it.

Kristin Kelley Stearley 1 year ago

Funny. Cute. True. Loving every minute of it <3

Kristi Andreassen 1 year ago

Nailed it

Tina Suter 1 year ago

So very true :)

Leanne Griffiths 1 year ago

No haha!! Im off to read it :) x

Jamie Reilly Rough 1 year ago

Hilarious and soooo true!!

Marisa Slappey 1 year ago

This is excellent. Sooooo true!!!

Lisette Macklin 1 year ago

First baby, everything is sterilised to death. Second babe, run it under the tap, it’ll be fine. Third baby, awwww just let the dog lick it clean!

Julia Harvey 1 year ago

I have a 3 year old and a 2 month old. All of this is true!

Samareen Shami 1 year ago

Most boring post ever. Nothing new here that hasn’t been said before.

Sabrina 1 year ago

You forgot one…responsiveness. I’m an elementary teacher, so I had a little bit of warning about this, but add to the list the complete realization that half the crap you FINALLY figured out worked for the first one doesn’t do squat for the second. Somehow you hoped that all of your offspring would behave similarly to your now fine-tuned parenting methods. Teachers always know in their classrooms it’s a mix of everyone else’s kids, of course they are different. But these are YOUR offspring, surely they will respond to you and your “ways” about the same… Um, like, no.

Katie Walker 1 year ago

100% true!

Laura LaHara 1 year ago

love this! i’m preggo with my 2nd and i need someone to tell me how it will really be.

Tricia Ballard 1 year ago

How true!

Lisa Spino Gilbert 1 year ago

So true! Love it!

Cassandra Heaps 1 year ago

I can relate to them all but number 3 the most. On the day I was leaving the hospital after having my second baby, I had to call the advice nurse at the pediatricians office about her older sister who was coughing and running a fever. It was advised I take my oldest to urgent care mostly as precaution because we were bringing home a new born. I was discharged from the hospital and went right to urgent care.

Lindsay Anderson 1 year ago


Brandy Baker Rocha 1 year ago

this made me laugh…its so true I have two toddlers 16 months apart…3 and 2 years old

Jeanette Nolan Wrestler 1 year ago

#9 is spot on!

Ludmilla Banks 1 year ago

#1, we have pictures of all of her range of emotions, expressions, and ages. If #4 goes missing, we’re employing a sketch artist

Stephenie Gleason 1 year ago

This is so true!!

Vanessa Walsh 1 year ago

Hahaha #8

Alanna Peters 1 year ago

LOL at “dangle her so she launches it onto the ground”. Glad I’m not the only one.

Kimberly Eastman Mora 1 year ago

Doesn’t apply to us so much, but I see the truth in it :) Our first 2 boys are just shy of two years apart, they pretty much got treated the same even though their personalities are drastically different. Then, seven and a half years later we had 2 more boys, also just shy of two years apart. After the long break, it was like starting over and they also get treated pretty equal. Their personalities (while having their differences) are just like the first two! The only ring of truth is pictures, to a certain degree. I take plenty with my digital and my phone, but going to a studio? In that regards #4 doesn’t exist yet. Those type of photos stopped when #3 was a newborn :)

Susan Dickman 1 year ago

#8 YES

Michelle Bechky Lynch 1 year ago

I have five also. Most days it is just a miracle to make it to the end of day with everybody mostly intact.

Eliza Hardy 1 year ago

One and done

Traci Snyder 1 year ago

I cant say id agree with all of these…some of them..everybodys different tho

Christine Conlon Fiducia 1 year ago

I agree with all these..now add child #3 and see what happens!

Marion Smith 1 year ago

Only 15 differences!?

Jennifer Gnau 1 year ago

I remember long ago when I was expecting my second child I wondered how I could love anyone as I loved my first born, well it happened not only with my second one but with all of my children. The love never runs out. Some are grown and some are still growing but they all hold my heart

Heather Reid 1 year ago

Luckily I have managed to keep up with the documentation (#2) and all the milestones on calendars hand and feet prints as they grow. But I really made that a priority so the other wouldn’t feel I didn’t try hard enough for her. #10 was reversed for me as my oldest was never much of a snuggler after 7 months when she discovered how to to get around and squirm. We snuggled plenty but her sister is a REAL SNUGGLER! Otherwise agreed. I often laugh to myself when I see a parent overwhelmed with one. I would like 3 or 4 so try to keep things in perspective as far as being overwhelmed with only 2, knowing what will hopefully be in the future, lol.

Meghan Davis 1 year ago

So true and so worth it.

Debbi Schroeder Hanson 1 year ago

And then we had #3 and 4. Ha ha ha ha!

Lyn Green 1 year ago

I have 3, ages 20,18 & 2 1/2 and they’re ALL very different.

Angie Kooima 1 year ago

This is dead on. All of it. Well done!

Alison Quail 1 year ago

So true thats why i only had 1 hes 14 still takez up all my time…lol

Mary 1 year ago


I knew it would be “different” when my 3yo decided to make a “sundae” out of her 7 month old brother. I’d just gotten them both ready to go out… nice clean outfits, diaper bag packed, ran to get my keys… and came back to my son sitting in a puddle of chocolate syrup, happily splashing while his sister topped him off. It was dripping from his head, soaking into his new clothes, into the carpet…

I knew then that our lives would never be the same.



Jett Dixon 1 year ago

#12. I could start a daycare between the toys… The bouncy seats… Swings… Playhouses… The gear MY god the gear with two kids under three. And the whole downstairs is one big padded, cabinet locked up room. My kids can’t get into anything and neither can I. It’s like a brightly colored insane asylum.

Alison McBride 1 year ago

That’s us!

Cathy Bradshaw McComas 1 year ago

So true ~ and I happen to love #15!

Marisa Cook 1 year ago

I giggle at those who think taking one child is difficult. Try 3 or 4..

Jean Marie Peterson 1 year ago

Wait till #4.

Lisa Evans Meier 1 year ago

How much can you multiply these things for each additional child? Quite a bit in my world!

Danielle Maher Wetenkamp 1 year ago

I have 5. By the 4th all you can do is pray. By the 5th… well…we are all still alive. Lol

Casey Fillpot 1 year ago

This made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe! It’s all so very true!

Cassidy Marie 1 year ago

My phone won’t let me click the link :( I really wish I could read this!!! Have to say thanks to my little one for using up all my data this month. Lol

Jolene Rheault 1 year ago

I wish you had more secondary infertility posts, this one was a nice punch to the gut this morning :(. How do you become a guest writer?

Pam Costanza Heatley 1 year ago

This is so true…and the third is just along for the ride!

Mari Miltimore 1 year ago

#15 totally

Elizabeth Mau Healey 1 year ago

Wait till the third and fourth come along…

Erin Rigdon Thornton 1 year ago

Love the timing!!! Today’s my 2nd ones birthday!!

Kiara James 1 year ago

Yes!!!!! Right on. 2 daughters and this is how I am lmao!

Rhian Thomas 1 year ago

Your heart and love just expands to accomodate..♥♡

Kelly Gallagher Cole 1 year ago

100% accurate. Every sentence.

Marie McNamara Watson 1 year ago

So true!!

Ansley Snow Beadle 1 year ago

Right on! My poor third one :)

Marybeth Thielke 1 year ago

It’s SO worth it to have a second child though :) they bring so much joy too!

Cymberlee Cleveland 1 year ago

I’m afraid of having another child because my first has been an absolute angel.

Chrissy 1 year ago

My daughters are 3 & almost 6(32 months apart. They are both strong minded and very loving. One minute their melting my heart hugging and telling each other how much they love each other in the middle of playing grocery store and the next their fighting and ready to kill each other. They also compare EVERYTHING….it’s driving me crazy:( “She has that, I want one, too!” Etc….they are my heart and my life but I am truly run down and exhausted by 4 or 5pm from refereeing ALL day…..:-/

sarah 1 year ago

I started to use my feet with number one. My husband and I have our ds who is our first and 3 months old and are planning on a second hopefully a girl. I’m in baby mode right now and since hubby is fine with it I’m fine with it. He could have been my one and only child but he changed my mind about motherhood. I’m nervous due to having to do a csection. I told my husband that the correct answer to the question “what did we do?” When we get no sleep when number two is here and our first is jealous is “the right thing”.

tina 1 year ago

too good! i have one 2 yrs old….planning for another one…..

was too scared.got some hope reading this….. :)

Danielle 1 year ago

Love this! Sometimes I get funny looks when I let the little one do something, say lay on the floor at the grocery store while I pretend I don’t know who she is…when someone comments, my defense is always, “it’s ok, she’s the youngest, I know it won’t kill her.”
That usually shuts them up.
I had to share this, with all of my friends with one that think their lives will not change when number 2 rolls around! Valadation!

cecille lajoie 1 year ago

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Morgan Mark 1 year ago

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Morgan Mark 1 year ago

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benita 1 year ago

Sono Benita OSCAR, voglio testimoniare il buon lavoro di DR ROBERTO aḳabah nella vita del mio unico figlio Dio me e mio marito ha dato.
mio figlio era affetto da cancro della sua parte privata che quasi tolto la vita, ero confuso così anche mio marito era come stiamo andando a perdere l’unico figlio e il bambino che avevamo ma Dio non permettere che ciò accada con l’invio di DR aḳabah al nostro salvataggio.
Un amico invia il suo indirizzo e-mail a noi e subito lo abbiamo contattato ci ha assicurato che il nostro bambino non morirà e non abbiamo mai creduto fino a quando non ha inviato quello che lui chiamava l’olio di cannabis per noi e ci ha istruito su come applicarlo e dopo una settimana nostro figlio è alto e il suono come un bambino appena nato.
Quindi, qualunque sia la malattia è oggi basta contattare l’indirizzo email qui sotto come ora.

lucia 1 year ago

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LadyBenji 1 year ago

#15 is so true! I felt like the love for my first child could never be duplicated or exceeded. While the love has been duplicated for my second child – it’s still a different and unique love, for both of them. I found myself amazed at the massive amounts of love that could exist in my heart. I can’t wait for the exponential growth of that love that will come with my next babies. (Now THAT might be a barf-worthy sentiment to some.)

Amanda 2 years ago

6 weeks into having two boys, 22 months apart and I am crying from laughing so hard!

Courtney Conover 2 years ago

Yup. This. Is. Me. Number 6 is my current battle cry.

oksana 2 years ago

How is this post depressing? Its SO true that I have tears pouring out of my eyes and I woke the baby up I was laughing so hard!

Sigrid 2 years ago

This is all so true!! 😀 I have 2 girls, one is 3 and the other is 5 months old and I really really second every word of what I read… Actually, I have been laughing to tears the entire time it took to read the post, thanks for the great read! :-)

Tamin two 2 years ago

Just about to hav my second… I love it! Reality setting in!

Kerri B 2 years ago

I love this! We are expecting our second sometime May/June timeframe. I am terrified. Add to it that this one is a girl and we have a son, OMG! Preggo hormones had me crying, not throwing up in my mouth, though! :)

Eliza 2 years ago

Thank you so much for this article!I could definitely relate to most of these; hilarious!

Lisa 2 years ago

Number 15 lovability… I get it now.

Jerriean 2 years ago

You know, you spoke so much truth…

My babies are grown now and have babies of their own. The first grandchild was a bit of heaven, the second one sent me over the edge with even more love…

Never did I ever think that I could love anyone more than my own sons, but.. the difference is, I am not responsible for these two.. so, I am free to just love them! And that makes it even more special!

Now, please feel free to puke some more into your mouth! LOL.. this ‘Bana’ is one sappy old lady!

Donna Hennes 2 years ago

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Joanne Koppler Ciampi 2 years ago

When my husband and I were considering having just one child, my son's godmother begged me to reconsider. She had been an only child and hated never having a sibling to play with. She said her childhood was very lonely once the neighbor kids had to go home and she was 'alone'. We ended up having three children, and I am glad we did.

Paige 2 years ago

Well it’s official, you have my life (or I have yours). With my oldest I would regularly cancel appointments, shopping trips ect because my baby boy was sleeping. Now, my 5 month old naps only in the vehicle or when I’m vacuuming. I run errands and clean as much as possible. Which helps, with two kids, a black lab and a very furry cat cleaning and getting out of the house are both very necessary for my mental health.

Ian M. Sirota 2 years ago

Having number three involved moving from man-to-man defense to a zone.

mimi 2 years ago

If only the 2nd child would make u feel like that, what about my mother? she got 8, and although the eldest 4 are 16 to 20 yrs old (I’m the second, 19 yrs), she needs to look after 6 of us. God bless her. Now I have a baby sister, she’s 10 months old. I remember hearing my mother mumble a lot about leaving the house because of us being a headache all the time and that she can’t rest a second, but she never really did leave. However, she decided this time that as soon as Christmas vacation starts, she’s leaving everyone behind for me to watch after, and she’s staying with her family in another country for a month! She’s leaving the baby in my care! Can’t believe it, but I’m so happy. She needs to rest, and I need to kill my cute sis meanwhile.

Louise Randell 2 years ago

Too true, and when 3 arrives, there is no time for thinking, just set the dial to damage control/ survival mode for a few years.

Michellette ‘Mimi’ Green 2 years ago

These are hilarious, only my experience has been a little different. I think its because my children are 7 years apart in age and because I have a son and a daughter. I'm the second child so I make sure to take a million pictures of baby #2 like I did for #1. lol

Jill Przybytek Holzaepfel 2 years ago

wait till you get to the 5th kid

Miranda J. Lee 2 years ago

You, ma friend, are hilarious. Also, anyone who knows me could read your bio and think it was me. Except the cheese. I eat chocolate en masse.

Eileen Molloy 2 years ago

I would also add, when your first one starts crawling and getting bruises, you cry because your baby is injured. When your second one starts crawling, you think 'Oh that's not so bad" and give them a peck on the cheek.

Suzy Stone 2 years ago

Just tried to share to my timeline but facebook blocked it. Why?? I wrote them grrr

Suzy Stone 2 years ago

Just tried to share to my timeline but facebook blocked it. Why?? I wrote them grrr

Annalisa 2 years ago

My 3 year old thinks that any random new toy for her 2 month old brother is hers. And we had to have a conversation about how she was never going to fit into one of his onesies, no matter how much she tried to put it on (she’s pretty stubborn).

Margaret 2 years ago

Great post and so true. I had 3, the first two were 4 years apart the next was somewhat of a surprise at only slightly more than a year apart.
I can still remember my little mother first on maybe the second day of being home from hospital, appearing at the door with her new sister in her arms, somewhat precariously, apparently she’d woken up (even though I’d heard no sound). I was left trying to decide whether to rush to my little mother and rescue her sister from the somewhat awkward grasp and risk having her drop her sister completely, or to fix a smile on my face while I approached slowly and then proceed to demonstrate a better way to hold her small sister than one arm around her neck while the other tried to hold onto legs. Oh dear. But number 2 survived and is now a mother of two herself, and of course, number 3 had two little mothers so didn’t need to move much at all, one bellow and a point and whatever he required appeared in front of him, lol.

Nicole 2 years ago

my second is only 3 weeks old but this still seems to ring true.ESPECIALLY jumping to stop him from waking my daughter up at night! mine are only 11 months apart so I appreciate the heads up on what’s to come!!

Rochelle Carter 2 years ago

OMG! as I was reading this story all I could say is um yelp that’s done happened. Oh boy yelp that too. I have 2 boys ages 7 years and 2 years. I waited 5 year in between my children think I would finally get some me time. My oldest started preschool and so I would be home pregnant and resting for most of the day. WRONG! I was up and down, volunteering in my sons classroom, making goodies for his class. Arrival date for my 2nd boy has arrived and of course no time to my self.. Have the baby, husband works night and sleeps during the day. me up with a screaming colicy baby all night and day. Mom was about to tap out then finally people started helping me bu getting the boys and letting me sleep a little but more. I cant have anymore children thank god. So my mom days are numbered;.. HAHAHAHA

Rachel Elizabeth Harrison 2 years ago

Wow lol, scarily true.

L.A. Say 2 years ago

Not every child is the same, but when they are siblings there can be a BUNCH of similarities! My youngest and middle child act so much alike, if it wasn’t for the 10 year age difference you would think they were fraternal twins.

Anson Keh 2 years ago

I can't help but SMILE, LAUGH, NOD MY HEAD and LAUGH HARDER at this article! Oh so true to the last word! Only those with baby #2 can truly relate. couldn't agree more! Chrissie Mae Ty Say

Flo foster 2 years ago

Great reading Loved it. gramma Flo

Emma 2 years ago

I always reply ” it’s an allergic reaction right?”
(Mom of 5)

Kristian N Jimmy Millan 2 years ago

Love this and its all true.

Leah Eichelbaum Raymond 2 years ago

Soooo sooooo true. <3

Angel K 2 years ago

Perfectly said. Sigh…. I especially feel numbers 9 & 10!!!

Ellen Mayne 2 years ago


Ashley 2 years ago

Too funny! I had when #3 was born, #1 had just turned 3 and #2 had just turned 1…packing for a trip to the grocery store was like ransacking an aisle at Babies R Us, with all the binkies, blankets, sippy cups or bottles, different size diapers (because #1 couldn’t possibly help Mommy out by being potty trained.) I barely had room for a loaf of bread in the shopping cart for all the necessary baby supplies and the children squished in there. When #4 came along, they were 8, 6, and 5 so things were significantly easier. I could even take a shower while they would listen for the baby. It’s so true about the hospital though. I think we had 6 total visitors when #3 was born. No one even gave us a celebratory pack of diapers.

lalisaww 2 years ago

Hey I don’t think having a child is that bad.
Plus I never felt shocked with my first and only daughter’s birth.
It was all very natural for me to assume a mother’s position, so is true for my husband. We totally enjoy having a baby for the past one and half years and expect to have our second daughter soon.
Our life is just as normal as before, surprisingly.
Maybe because I never expected more leisure or freedom for myself. She is my entire life, no more no less.

Erika 2 years ago

What a stupidly depressing post.

maria 2 years ago

This was great! I have two girls who are 3 years & 9 days apart and we just celebrated their 4th and 1st birthdays. When we are all home I spend my time explaining to my 4 year old that we have to be patient with her little sister since she doesn’t know right from wrong yet–all while little sister is pulling her hair and breaking (or eating) her toys!

Oh yeah, and I have to take them on errands together too…they really need to make more shopping carts that have space for two kids in the seat because shoving my three year old in the cart with the groceries while her little sister gets to sit on top is very counter-productive!

Thanks for the laugh!!

angela 2 years ago

Wow… numbers 1-14 makes her 2nd child sound more like a hassle. I’m glad she reminded everyone on #15 that she still loves BOTH of her kids.

MD 2 years ago

OMG I loved this ♥ its so true from beginning to end! I have a 5yr. old and a 4mo. old,, and iv gone thru it all with them!

Tricia 2 years ago

Mom of two. Awesome, hilarious post.

Naa 2 years ago

Really interesting! Made me laugh so much while saying to myself “how true” Thumbs up, Carrisa

Elizabeth Onifade 2 years ago

I have not enjoyed a pieace so well put together as yours in a long time every word is true. #1-26 #2-15 #3-14 #4-6 The #4 has only digital pics my 6yrs saw some pictures of her sister and claim they were hers I quickly agreed. Good thing about that is that they all look alike so when the young ones come crying that the older says its not hers I just rolled my at the older one at that point in time. You should write how assertive last borns are they don’t want to be left out of the game.

Naomi 2 years ago

THANK YOU FOR THIS!! Almost at the finish line with my second pregnancy and although I am excited I am also dreading the amount of EVERYTHING that will inevitably change.

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lisyl gustafson 2 years ago

So hilarious, I laughed until I cried, all because it was all sooo true! I have eight so by the eighth you can image! So glad to see I wasn’t the only one! As to illiness I totally agree with earlier posts – the first one – rush to ER or DR with the slightest thing by the third or fourth – tylenol, pedialyte n a barf bucket and we will be fine. :) thats for the memories.

Stephanie (www.whencrazymeetsexhaustion.com) 2 years ago

You got it sooo right, Mama Miller! No one gave a flying fart when we brought #2 home. I actually had to ASK my parents to put a few balloons on my mailbox for a photo opp. Jerks.


rachel 2 years ago

My girl turned 5 in Dec, and I had her brother in Feb. Every word of this is true, and it’s amazing to read it. This is my husband’s first baby, and it’s his son so he’s extra nuts about everything. I have to start back to work soon, and I have a feeling I’m going to need to up my meds for it.

marie m 2 years ago

Have 6 and you get asked if you know what causes it yet. I always reply with “Why yes I do… it is the lack of tv!” They always give me odd looks… lol

marie m 2 years ago

I have 6 kiddos as well… and I have absolutely no idea what I would do if I didn’t have even one of them.

Sue 2 years ago

My 3 year old daughter was recently found sitting on her baby sister (about 7 months old). Her response “she wanted to give me a horsie ride!” like this was the most obvious thing in the world.
They make me laugh every day.

Johnna 2 years ago

Wait until you are pregnant with number four…instead of happy friends and family…or nothing/crickets…you get lots of “are you crazy”s and “you know how this happens, right?”s…and “this is it, right?”s…it’s a bummer :/

peggy 2 years ago

You should try being the 6th child and see how your parents deal with things! I was number 6! Oye! There may be 2-3 baby pics of me! lol

Camille 2 years ago

Carisa, I salute you for your humor, your love of life and ….ummm the ” tiny bit” of sarcasm. I am 65 and raised two boys now 43 and 39. Yes I spaced them thank heavens. I worried about having ” enough” love #2 and just like you it couldn’t have been more perfect. I now have 3 grandchildren G12, B10 G 5 and step grandson 17. A niece 5 that I care for partime……I used to tell son of 3 take your wife out more often. Now I say. “Your going out again a month later.
Take care and continue enjoying life it goes way to fast!

Sự kiện đà nẵng 2 years ago

it’s lovely! I love baby!!!

The Mean Mama 2 years ago

I wear a hoodie all the time, not only does the front pocket hold a diaper but you can wipe toddlers nose with the inside of it and you still look somewhat clean!

EvinceNaturals 2 years ago

Haha!! So true…I start to panic when it is silent!

EvinceNaturals 2 years ago

Haha…I laughed while shaking my head yes to this whole thing. You should do a post on the difference between a girl and a boy child. With a boy the Father wants to know what wrong and why he is crying…with a girl the Father crumbles and asks “do you want a cookie?”

Mariah 2 years ago

Great post! Very funny and true. I went from 1 to 3 in a little less than 2 years. The running errands example is soooo true!

Anita Nunez 2 years ago

I just said to my husband tonight “how can I possibly love another like I love our first born son” who is only 16 mos old and having a baby sister in Aug. Well #15 pretty much answers my question! Thanks for the belly laughs and for the advice. -Anita

Juliet 2 years ago

This gave me a good laugh and how so true. I also loved Cassie’s comment on her husband’s response to taking pictures of their second one, “He looks just like his brother, he’ll never know the pictures aren’t of him.” That was truly funny.

I have a 6 and 3 year old. My 3 year old has asked me several times where his baby pictures are and out of guilt I finally retrieved the USB where they were stored and trying to put them together into an album. I was so grateful to discover that we actually have baby pictures of him as at some point I had started to despair that we hadn’t taken any, whereas we have a full album of my first one’s first three months of life.

Jordana 2 years ago

Great article!! I have a 3 year old and soon to be 3 month old and this sounds so much like my life!! The pregnancy picture thing is the funniest!!! My only documentation the second time around was a picture of my belly the day before I went to the hospital?? Oh well!!

Heidi 2 years ago

I have four kids and going from numbers 3 to 4 was probably the easiest transition. I have told my husband that the thought of having number five scares me more from the preganancy side of things: not having energy to chase after the older four, than actually dealing with one more at this point. Course my oldest child thinks that helping her siblings dress, do hair, find socks and pour bowls of cereal in the morning is fun.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Silence is BAD.

I don’t blame you, I couldn’t say no to those eyes either.

Thank you for finding me here!

Aprill 2 years ago

Love it! Yes, with the first LO I questioned loud noises…with the second LO on board I question long silences. LMAO! So fun to see you in print! An idea for the next post…10 reasons not to take your crazy dogs to the park on a play date even if your daughter begs you five times with big brown doe eyes.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I’m going to repeat what you wrote to my friends… THAT is awesome.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I cannot hardly stand how fast they are growing…

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

My first hated tummy time, poor little flat-head. My second is too busy climbing the swing to sit in it! : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Baby book?!? Whoopsies.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Thank you Catina…get outta here you stooopid guilt.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I’m not sure anything can prepare us…to find out we have to take a plunge we can’t undo. Good thing we wouldn’t want to. Thank you for laughing Jenn!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago


Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You’re probably going to hate me for this joke, but in a situation like yours with three babies under 3, I’ll bet people often confused your cries of surrender with you introducing yourself. I hope someone was able to help you from time to time and show you a little mercy. It sounds as though you’ve made it through, just barely. Congratulations on making it back to *your* life!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I was hoping for polar opposites at first…with one hellion and one wallflower I thought I’d stand a chance. Now I understand that no matter what kind of children the universe sends us, parents are in for a battle of the If-you-weren’t-so-adorable-I’d-dangle-you-by-your-hair sort.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Oh Kari, I want to make you laugh but not to the point of pee. : )(Thank you for the reminder to keep up the kegels. )

Ayelet 2 years ago

When your first child swallows a coin you run to the ER. When the second one swallows a coin you wait to see they poop it out. When your third swallows a coin you subtract it from their allowance. Or so I hear…

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I do have unusually dexterous feet…

Stephanie 2 years ago

The biggest realization i had after having #3 is that you no longer have enough hands.

Heather 2 years ago

Bless you for the truth and telling it with humor and candor!!!! It has been many years since I had my children, but I still remember much of what you talked about in your comments!!!! Enjoy those darlings….the years pass all too quickly. It is the kind of love that can never be explained to those who choose not to have children. They are truly your heart!!!!!

Tell Another Mom 2 years ago

Awesome post! I laughed so hard and could relate with so much of it. With my son I honestly got enough food dropped off to feed an army. We took a million photos and did ‘tummy time’ daily. When my second came around… no meals were dropped up, I didn’t have time to find the camera EVER and my daughter spent WAY too much time in the swing.

Pompies 2 years ago

It’s funny, cuz it’s true. The photos are the most obvious to the kids, I’m just waiting for #3 to ask why don’t I have as many pictures of #1 &2 in my baby book? I’m ready though-my response,”Be happy you have a baby book, at least I got that much.”
Rock on mommas…

Catina Tanner 2 years ago

Awww great post! Totally lifted my mama guilt! Im going to send this post to all the mommies I know expecting their second! Think I will go take a pic of my second now…

Jenn 2 years ago

My oldest was nearly 4 when #2 was born. I had a MUCH MUCH MUCH harder time going from 1 -> 2 kids than I did going from 0 -> 1 kid. It’s so different!
And yes….everything you have written here resulted in my holding my sides laughing 😀

Jenn 2 years ago

I have 2, a 7 y.o. in school, and a 3 y.o. who is going to be the friggin death of me….and I think you are amazingly brave for having number 3! I would LOSE.MY.MIND. if I found out I was pregnant right now…..(and if I do, I will have WORDS with my surgeon, let me tell you).

Kimbra 2 years ago

and by the time you get to baby #4 everything is even more different than baby number 2… With each kiddo things change drastically but the amazing love you feel each time you hold your baby for the first time never changes.

Mercy 2 years ago

All so true. My first was a preemie and got loads of attention. When I had 2 kids 18 months apart I had no time for anything else. When the third one came along, for a while I thought I wouldn’t survive. Try having a 3 year old, 19 mo. old and a newborn! Everything else in life went on the back burner for a long time. I feel I’m finally catching up now 2 years later.

Mercy 2 years ago

Always. My 3 year old leads the 2 year old into troubles I didn’t know existed.

Andie 2 years ago

I have two boys who are polar opposites, making the situation worse for me. The first hit home because sadly that is how it is, and then I read the rest. Oh my! Frighteningly true!! I couldn’t imagine having MORE! Great post!

Kari 2 years ago

I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself at the “sibling self defense class”. My girls are 12 months apart and I am convinced that one day they will genuinely try to kill each other.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

My first child offers choking hazards to my second child constantly. I can never hide the tiny toys well enough.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You’re evil. Then again, you paid your dues.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I like your husband’s idea! Better make sure you get your story straight which photos you are going try to fake them out with so you don’t switch them up. They’re smarter than we are, you know.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I love it that you identify. Thank you and congratulations!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

“Please, take my children…and don’t forget their barf pails!” A very funny image.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I tell mine every day.”Just look at how crazy you are. Do you think this is easy for me? ” Please picture me tickling them and wrestling with them while I say it instead of hovering over them growling. (Though that’s not always the case I’m afraid. Every mommy has her bad moments.)

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I’m also increasing your “ten times” to one hundred times, at least. I cannot imagine.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Have you seen the documentary Babies where a Mongolian baby gets left swaddled in the family tent with a chicken? He’s pretty content. : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You couldn’t just strap them together? : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I figure there is a tipping point in there somewhere when it isn’t so life altering to add another child, but I know nothing of what I speculate.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

My mother tells me she had my little brother for me. He finds that hard to take. : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Sharing mommy is a concept we are not learning easily at our house. My children are often found climbing me while crying and trying to oust one another from their positions.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Might as well get it over with.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

The only toys we’ve gotten since having our second are to prove to our first that she’s not the only one who gets stuff. Thank you so much for reading, my Baby Sleep Guru!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Isn’t that funny? Each new first baby is soooo novel. Second and subsequent babies are the “been there done that” kids.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

That makes for an achy hind end. : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Pech, you are always so kind. Thank you!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You can start if you like, but I won’t ever be able to relate. : ) This vessel of life is closed.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you experience differs from the list above…especially if you conceive twins! Good luck!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Undoubtedly it will be surprising and wonderful. I don’t like to tell anyone what to expect but those two things are given. Congratulations!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Thanks Debbie! My big one has curly hair and from the looks of the nest she wakes up with must be spinning break-dance style on her head in her sleep. My little one has straight hair like mine and has lately been sporting a baby mullet.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I’d be interested in what you might add for numbers #3 and #4.

On an unrelated note…do I smell bacon?

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I feel a sudden urge to scrape my tongue.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Ahhh luxury. I probably ask my preschooler to be responsible a little too much. “Is your sister safe?” Is something I frequently holler to her from the kitchen to the living room. Never trust a three year old’s response. Their definition of ‘safe’ is skewed.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I think you may have just jinxed yourself there. Quick, throw some salt or hop on one leg or something!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You have your hands full!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

There might be as many arguments for or against a particular spacing of children as there are options for spacing them. : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I don’t know anything about twins, but I’m pretty sure we should allow you times 100.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I thought there were 11 kids too!

I’ve done the grab, wrestle and buckle routine a few times. It sure ain’t pretty. Accomplishing errands with children of any age should be a competitive sport. Oh wait, it is. You vs your children in a race for the groceries.

Nicole 2 years ago


Always with the typos, I swear.

Nicole 2 years ago

Haha, duct tape! I’m scared to death that the first will make baby-proofing impossible and the second with choke on a lego or something…

momtaxijulie 2 years ago

haha I love that my kids are older and my sister in laws are new moms. So funny to watch 😉

Cassie 2 years ago

What you wrote could not sound more like my experience! I was just discussing with my husband, the fact that we need to start taking pictures of baby #2. His response: “He looks just like his brother, he’ll never know the pictures aren’t of him.” I’m sad to say, I agreed and no pictures have been taken since.

Beth 2 years ago

This is so true! I just had my second and I feel the exact same way. Thanks for a hilarious post!

Lisa Barry 2 years ago

totally agree with every point! beautifully written – Could add to illnesses: 1st child has a slight fever or throws up she’s straight off to emergency. 2nd child high fever, throwing up… just give him some paracetamol and a bucket, he’ll be ok!
and also being babysat – 1st child was 2 before I left her, 2nd child handed over as soon as someone offered lol.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Our girls are 30 months apart as well.

That’s why we went for two…so they could complain about me to each other.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Congratulations! Don’t worry…when the baby gets here you can ignore your other child.

Anna 2 years ago

Love this. It’s so true, though I will deny it if my kids ever ask.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

That sounds annoying. At least you had time to forget some of the unpleasantries of child bearing. : )

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You are hilarious.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

You flatterer you.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

There there now. It’ll be okay. : ) Thank you, Pam.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Hee hee. Nice to me you, other me. : )

The Next Step 2 years ago

Oh lord, you are so right! All of that new parent stuff went right out the window. And then everything got tens times the “fun” when kid #2 turned out to be twins. “We know what we are doing this time” we said, “We know what we are getting into this time” we said. I hope God got a REALLY good belly laugh off of that one.

Mama D 2 years ago

I laughed so hard at this! I have three, all 25 months apart. After my first, I never had a newborn without also having a two year-old, and the third time I had three kids under the age of five! If the second kid gets the shaft, attention-wise, imagine the third. Poor thing. :)

Ariana 2 years ago

” Once the baby starts running around, I will have to decide which child to sacrifice in order to chase after the other.” Love this! I started out with twins, so this decision was faced daily!

Marta 2 years ago

Spot on! As I contemplate a third I do wonder how that is going to change everything…

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Brave lady. I am too chicken to be outnumbered.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

My girls are 30 months apart and sometimes I think if I had known what was coming when the oldest turned three, I would have waited to have another. But even if it were a million times crazier it would still be worth it.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

So grateful that you will pass this along…maybe throw in some duct tape!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

From breastmilk to chocolate.What a perfectly accurate sentiment! : )

Hana 2 years ago

When I was pregnant with my second daughter my aunt told me that there is not greater gift you can give your child than a sibling. Now that my girls are 4 & 2 I can really appreciate that advice. Especially since their baby brother is now the one getting all of the attention.

Heather 2 years ago

I had twins first so when baby #3 came along (17 months later) it was so easy to just have one baby to care for and console. I remember thinking of the many who thought their two children “close together were LIKE twins” and thinking that NO nothing is LIKE twins. On the odd day where I only had one twin and the baby were my easy days.

The benefits now is that all 3 of my kids are used to sharing mommy, the toys are mostly for everyone to share with, and they are very close with each other. The disadvantage still at age 5 is how difficult it is to get out with all 3, the cost of clothing since they wear almost the same size, the cost of sports activities X3, and how they gang up on me. did you ever notice how most Nanny 911 shows are families of multiples ??!!

Momchalant 2 years ago

Ahhh I can’t wait to have another baby. The vidid images of a toddler terrorizing me more than a screaming, pooping newborn baby really make me want to say forget waiting, and lets get goin on the second one.

Alexis 2 years ago

Two are SOOO much harder. But there are some unexpected benefits.

1) I let go of all of the “I’m going to be the perfect mommy” ridiculousness of the first round. No more making my own organic baby food. FAR less stress. FAR more acceptance.

2) Nothing is more fascinating to an baby than an older sibling. Baby #1 – 500 shiny clacking toys to dangle everywhere. Baby #2 – no toys necessary, just keep line of sight on older sib = job done.

Jessica Smock 2 years ago

I only have one, but both my sister and my brother’s wife are pregnant and due in the spring. When all three of us had our first babies, it was discussed constantly within our family. We had endless discussions about the babies’ names, gender, etc. This time I keep forgetting that both of them are pregnant and never even ask about it!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I get bummed too when I realize I’m missing out on one to attend the other. It’s inevitable when they demand different things at different times. When they demand different things at the same time, I crawl into a corner to hold myself and rock back and forth.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I’m so glad you liked it! At our house when the baby gets whacked, she whacks back. Big sister’s gonna get creamed when little sister grows up.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Big sister has lately taken to holding the baby down to force her into her imaginary picnics and pretend nap times.

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Forget the tiny pink onesies, I could have absolutely used a book like that!

Anita Sullivan 2 years ago

Yes! The beauty of mine being 6.5 years apart. ‘Get your brother some cereal!’ is my favorite Saturday morning thing to yell from bed.


Anita Sullivan 2 years ago

First one- I had dreams of beautifully balancing home and work, baby and husband, me time and family time. I knew the balance would soon come.
Second one- I had no delusions. Me and mine were only words my toddler used and loved. Time was like a seesaw, all balanced on their side but if they went somewhere or I was without them, it was just like a seesaw where you’re slammed to the ground bewildered.


Carisa Miller 2 years ago

I guess there’s that. 6? Oh my…

Pech 2 years ago

Great write-up: I love how you capture all the facets of it, both broadly and in depth, the challenges and the love and grossness and the humor of it all!

Myndee 2 years ago

Soooooooo true. Don’t even get me started on how it changes when the 3rd (the poor poor 3rd) comes along. 😉

alelue 2 years ago

OMG this is so helpful! I really enjoyed this article as we are trying for baby #2 & our first is almost 2.

NorthernMommy 2 years ago

I’m 3 weeks (approximately) away from #2 – and this post made me laugh! I am so glad that I was rather relaxed with #1 when it came to naps and stuff, but I’m rather terrified at how he’s going to treat #2 when they appear (he’s 3). This should be an interesting year!

Debbie 2 years ago

Good job! I had 3 and after the 3rd I started forming an assemble line to get things done. Give all 3 a bath (they were girls) get them out of the tub, lotion them one at a time, dress them one at a time, then comes the blow dryer for the hair.

When i was pregeant with the 3rd I just prayed that if it was another girl it would have NO hair. She ended up having more than the other 2. So much for for wishing and hoping.
Thanks for sharing the truth.

hollow tree ventures 2 years ago

Awesome post – spot on! Congrats on being here at Scary Mommy – you deserve it! :)

Mom22Tweens 2 years ago

So true re that last sentence. At least toddlers you can pick up and strap in a car seat kicking and screaming if they refuse to bend to your schedule. A tween girl will stomp and scream if you insist on leaving the house before her hair is perfected, and you can’t pick her up and strap her in the car, though I would if I could.

And for a moment I read “Number 11… oh, number 11!” as… you have 11 kids.

claire 2 years ago

So true. Mine are 16 months apart … and this morning my second child was eating a dust bunny off the floor…

Julie Presley 2 years ago

Perfection. Absolutely. I can tell you that it gets better as they get older. My 8 year old can make breakfast and lunch for both himself and his brother now, so that means I really don’t have to crawl out of bed on Saturdays until dinner time! 😉

Shawnna 2 years ago

So true with everything. Although my second is a little hellion, the complete opposite of my first. I now have a 3rd who is 9 months, I have a 7 y.o in school who is still my easiest child, my 3 y.o who is all over the place and into everything and now a 9 month old that has recently become mobile. I will say I’m confident I have this mommy thing figured out(for the most part) so I’m more relaxed.

Alvarose 2 years ago

All true but I have three. Number one was full term, he’s 12. Number two is 9 and number three is 5. They were preemies. So there is also letting #2 get away with murder rather than get after her little screaming self and take a chance on waking the napping baby. Also being so worn out that you let #3 sleep with you rather than having to get up and deal with her in the middle of the night. The girls wonder why there are so many pictures and videos of #1 and their baby books don’t exist. Who had time?

Denise 2 years ago

Mine are spaced by 8.5 years, so I don’t have to divide and conquer so much–but I felt bad for my oldest who went from the “only child pedestal” to the “you better fend for yourself” oldest child spot. Sometimes I wish I had them closer together so that now I’d have 2 independent boys and more time for myself. Other times I’m happy that they are spaced so far apart I get to thoroughly enjoy my 2nd kid’s childhood.

Amber 2 years ago

My second baby turned out to be twin boys, so yes to everything on your list but times 10.

Sarah 2 years ago

Number 11… oh, number 11! My children are older, and yet we still end up in divide and conquer mode, with no one left to complete the actual errand or task. I daydream of them being in college so I can run to the grocery store without taking nearly two hours… You may think a toddler is the slowest creature on Earth… A teenager systematically tests that assumption in new and creative ways.

Kisha 2 years ago

I seriously could have written that myself. My children are about 30 months apart and I’ve experienced every single one of the items on your list. Spot on.

Mine are 6 and 3-1/2 now, and you just wait there is more to come. But I feel like in the end they will be glad to have each other. (In fact, they regularly team up on me.)

Guerrilla Mom 2 years ago

Okay – this makes me feel better. I’m 8 months pregnant and already feel guilty for ignoring my fetus.

Heather 2 years ago

Have them 18 years apart– & people never leave you alone. You’ll answer ” yes we planned it, no it’s not a second marriage, & no I’m not clinically diagnosed as crazy!

Annie 2 years ago

Third kid nobody even checks to see if you’ve given birth yet. You are treated as the mentally diseased.

mf 2 years ago

that was hilarious and enlightening at the same time!

Pam 2 years ago

I am crying! Hysterical and so true! Awesome post!

Bev 2 years ago

This is me! I lol and nodded at everything!

DebbieLB 2 years ago

Awesome! Every single one is soooo true! But just wait until you add Baby #3! You are then outnumbered!!

Dee 2 years ago

This is a great post. I have a 6 month old daughter and plan to have another in a year or two – so this definitely puts things in perspective. :-)

Jessica 2 years ago

Oh, wow. I’m ROFL over here!

So much truth to every single word. I’m sharing with all my mommy friends. Especially the ones who have only one or are expecting. Great piece!

Amanda Martin 2 years ago

Oh yes. Nodded and agreed with every point. Except Point 14 should read:
The next one: Times three. :)

Brilliant. I’d say give to all new mums but a) they wouldn’t believe it and b) you’d put them off for life.

My favourite ‘next child’ example came from my friend: her first child was two before he was allowed chocolate. By the time she had her third dhild (less than 4 years later) she said “I’d wean him on chocolate if it meant he would sleep through the night”. Amen.

Erin@MommyontheSpot 2 years ago

Awesome post! I needed to read this today. I feel total mom guilt about the whole attention thing. Thanks for posting!

Dee 2 years ago

I cried and laughed reading this post – so true. This morning, at 5:30am, my #2 went into #1’s bed and took a car and smacked him on the head with it and when he woke up angry at her, she was like “Let’s PLAY!”

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 2 years ago

“Sibling self Defense class”… oh my stomach hurts from laughing!
So very true!

Tia 2 years ago

I (Thank you Jesus!) stumbled upon a book called “How to Have Your Second Child First” at the library at about 6 months pregnant with my first kid. I read all 101 pieces of advice in one sitting, and although I haven’t been able to remember every single bit (Thank you Mommy Brain…), I am eternally grateful to its authors.
Your post today and that book should be at the top of every single “Must-Have” registry list.

Anne Kimball 2 years ago

Well hey, at least if we throw up in our mouths, it’s not on our clothes, right?

Great post! And every word is truth….
(Take it from me, I’ve got six)