The Gap Makes Crappy Shoes & Other Things You Learn by 40

by Elaine Alguire
Originally Published: 

– The days are long but the years are short… and any time in the doctor’s office with kids feels like years AND days.

– Chores for kids are a really good idea.

– A good-fitting bra is important… and should be off your body no later than that 9 p.m. bedtime. Actually, 5 p.m. is good too.

– When in doubt, don’t buy, especially when it comes to shoes and lipstick.

– Sometimes you take your kid to Disney on Ice because you know THEY will really love it, not because you will. And certainly not because you like paying $7.50 for that souvenir mug of tepid hot chocolate.

– Stale popcorn is also very expensive at Disney on Ice.

– You can totally do your own pedicure, but it’s much more relaxing to have someone else do it.

– Exercising is essential, but so is eating a bag of kettle corn popcorn occasionally. It’s all about balance.

– According to your kids, the “good old days” are any of the days that were pre-Internet.

– Red paint takes 3-4 coats.

– Mirrors are kinda dumb, but good for convincing your kids that you have eyes in the back of your head.

– Cookies are not dumb at all.

– However, laundry is THE dumbest.

– The size of your house does not matter, but the size of the love inside its walls does (cheesy but true).

– Marriage is no piece of cake. But it is worth it to get to taste the anniversary cake.

– You are old enough to be the mother of the cute lifeguards at the pool.

– Having babies is a big deal, but raising them to be adults you admire and respect is a MUCH bigger deal.

– The term “low rise” on clothing can be translated to “no buy.”

– Mom jeans (my version is jeggings) have their merits.

– Being yourself is the best person to want to be, and to actually be.

– Drop-off birthday parties are the best.

– It’s better to have your husband talk to your pre-teen son about the “hair down there.”

– Writing your thoughts down right away is a really good idea because otherwise they could be gone in less than the blink of an eye.

– Wrinkles are sneaky.

– A good hairdresser is key.

– Quality time spent really listening to your loved ones is priceless.

– And, 40 is just a number, of course.

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