Her workout doesn’t exactly go as planned
With many of us still sporting our winter layer, a little fitness-related humor is more than welcome. Luckily, the viral video gods heard our fervent pleas and majorly delivered with this hilarious “uncensored exercise review” from a woman who understands the absolute bullshit that is getting in shape.
Antonella The Uncensored Reviewer is about to become your new favorite thing. Her Facebook page is exactly what it sounds like — a woman giving her thoughts on a product, littered with dirty words. Her recent video about an exercise DVD she tried will have you roaring laughing, because it’s the truest thing ever.
Antonella explains how she got home from work and decided to throw on a DVD for a quick workout. The photo on the front depicted “Charlotte,” who she thought, “is a bit like me,” as in, they both have hands.
We warned you this was hysterically funny.
The workout is called “3-Minute Belly Buster,” and Antonella says, “I need three minutes on my belly, let me tell you.” Hello, two kids later I need like, 300 minutes. I feel you, girl.
She starts the routine and thinks, “this is the sport for me,” explaining how she can’t run because she’ll “piss herself” and “fart at the same time,” which she says is part of being in your 40s. To which I say, I’m 35 and the pissing is kind of happening, can I get my money back on life?
Antonella’s solution is to double up on incontinence pads and get on with it, after shutting the curtains. So as to “not frighten folk,” naturally.
Now that her adult diaper is fastened tight, she’s “absolutely doing it,” keeping in step with good old Charlotte the entire time. In fact, she’s so encouraged by her mastery of the moves, she figures she’ll “be a fucking size 12 by the weekend,” and that’s when things come to a screeching halt.
“Then, do you know what she fucking said,” she fumes. “Right! Well done, everybody. That’s the warm up! Let’s start the exercises!”
Oh no, she didn’t.
Antonella was not here for Charlotte’s shit. “That’s the fucking warm-up? Jesus Christ, I needed a fucking paramedic!” She was marching “fucking fast” with her ass on fire, and that’s just the warm-up? Her verdict?
“Fuck that shit. I’d rather fucking die 10 years earlier.”
Much like starting a diet and eating one piece of fruit has you assuming you’ll be down five pounds by morning, one workout oughta do it for physical fitness, right? Unfortunately, no. But that doesn’t stop us from whining and crying our way through a fitness routine that a cheery instructor insists is fun and easy, but is actually fucking torture.
As for Charlotte, the perky instructor dashing Antonella’s hopes and dreams, she thought the video was a hoot.
She’s definitely not the only one.