Nothing can prepare you for labor. Sorry. You can watch all the videos and read all the books but you still get to the point where that baby has to exit your body somehow, and without fail you will probably feel a little confusion. Maybe some panic. Definitely some annoyance and bodily fluids.
Buzzfeed attempted to make a video that sums up the shit-show that is labor. They did a pretty damn good job.
“Can you get your hand out of me?”
Oh, honey. That’s the least of your worries. Leave your dignity at the door. There’s no place for it here. There will be so many people checking on your vagina. Just try to wrap your brain around that concept now.
This is a great video to prepare your partner, actually. There are some fantastic pointers. Like, for example, there may be poop. Oh, and definitely don’t eat in front of your laboring wife/girlfriend, refrain from sticking a camera in her face, and just try to be as non-annoying as possible.
“Um, excuse me? Is anyone going to give me my baby?”
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