This Is What Emotional Abuse Feels Like

by Chloe Summers
Originally Published: 

Emotional abuse screams the worst of the worst. With each ugly snarl, the perpetrated is knocked down just a little bit lower.

It is insulting, and it is more than debilitating.

This type of abuse is a parasite, and it feeds off the degraded self-worth of others.

It wreaks havoc on someone else’s otherwise mentally healthy state with low-blows attributed to their character.

Fueled by adrenaline and anger, emotional abuse is the ultimate serial killer of good moods. Emotional abuse, though it leaves no visible scars, is still ABUSE.

And this is what it feels like:

Sometimes it’s feeling like you are a bother or unwelcome in your own home.

Honestly, emotional abuse is numbing and poignant at the same time. Vicious snarls act as the achitects of the abuse, and their sharp tools are more than redundant.

Emotional abuse mocks depression and anxiety. It does so without acknowledging that the main culprit behind the struggle comes from the voice of the mocker.

When all is calm, it fools the victim with idol promises, familiar apologies and a dozen, red roses.

It is the master of thought-contortion. And somehow, it is the very demon behind every wrong-sided, “I’m sorry.”

Emotional abuse is never okay. Nor does it ever feel okay. But at times, it can be easy to dismiss or minimize. It feels “not as bad” as the other forms of abuse because there are no physical scars from which to outwardly heal.

At the same time, this abuse crumbles a heart just as quickly as dishes shattered from past rage.

Emotional abuse is walking on thin ice more times than not. As if at any minute, something won’t be good enough and could result in an unneeded and demeaning fit.

Emotional abuse is chock-full of excuses and justifications.

An emotionally abusive relationship feels like forced submission. It belittles the voice and opinion of others.

It tears one down to maliciously build the other up.

In certain aspects, it is controlling without clarity.

Emotional abuse is holding hands with a different version of your loved one in public. It’s cringe-worthy resentment when his love speaks louder with an audience.

When the going gets rough, an emotionally abusive relationship has no boundaries within the realm of insults.

Emotional abuse is not what’s promised in the vows — in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer. No. Because even in the good times, emotional abuse can find something to feed off of.

It’s feeling like something has got to give. Then for a moment, something does give. And fleeting gestures are enough to block out the memories of past heartaches for just a little while longer.

For the one on the receiving end of the abuse, it means carrying a sense of weakness for choosing to stay. And when it’s spoken about, emotional abuse often leaves the victim sitting in a puddle of misunderstanding and judgment.

It is isolating. Because to so many inexperienced others, leaving appears a valid option. But to the one loving the abuser, it’s not always so black and white.

Because before the emotional abuse began, there was gentle love. And even still throughout the abuse, there’s a ton of wishful hoping.

But hopes, prayers, and wishes do not stop the abuse. An abuser must choose to stop the abuse.

And in due time, if no change is made, the victim stops accepting the abuse. Finally finding the voice within herself to say enough is enough, once and for all.

This is emotional abuse.

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