Turns out gummy candy is not made of rainbows and dreams
Gummy candy is delicious. Worms, bears, frogs, coke bottles — whatever. We’ll eat it. By the way, can an adult overdose on kids’ gummy vitamins? Asking for a friend.
We always thought a wizard took a huge cauldron and threw in a Lisa Frank poster, some unicorn tears, a little confectioners sugar and food coloring and — voilá! Gummy bears! Unbelievably, that’s not how they’re made. Huh.
Some thief of joy decided that we couldn’t even have gummy bears to put a smile on our faces in this god-forsaken year, and made a documentary about how the little bites of joy come to life.
Spoiler alert: there’s not a Lisa Frank poster in sight.
Well, okay then.
Why? It’s like someone decided to collectively tell the world Santa is a fake. Or those weight loss wraps don’t work. Or the Tooth Fairy isn’t real. We like the fantasy, destroyer-of-dreams-filmaker, who ever you are. We don’t want to think about bacon when we’re eating gummies (unless we’re eating gummy bacon).
For those of you who didn’t already know, gummy candy uses gelatin, and gelatin is a protein obtained by boiling skin, tendons, ligaments, and/or bones with water. It’s in a lot of things. If the thought of this disgusts you and you really want your gummies, they make vegan ones that use something called agar agar powder instead of gelatin.
But, some of us who are realists can appreciate that if you slaughter an animal, you may as well use the whole thing — in addition to the ligaments and bones.
Sorry. We really loved the Lisa Frank idea better, too.
This article was originally published on