Parenting

From The Confessional: A Lot Of Moms Have Had A Traumatic Labor

by Cassandra Stone
Tetra Images/Getty

Traumatic labor and delivery stories are more common than most people think or realize

There’s no such thing as an easy labor when it comes to delivering children, but many moms suffer from trauma surrounding the birth of their kids. Between 25-34% of women have reported that their births were traumatic, according to data collected by Prevention And Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth (PATTCH).

Many moms who were looking for an outlet to be candid or vent about their own traumatic birth experiences shared their stories in our Confessional. Some were truly terrifying ordeals, and others were instances of women not feeling heard or supported by medical staff.

It's been over 7 years, but I still want to give a big FUCK YOU to the nurse in my labor and delivery that told me, "don't scream," and an even bigger one the shithole doc that didn't hit my epidural.

Confessional #24743482

Part of me wants a second child. Part of me knows that I can't handle two. I especially can't handle almost dying again in labor. And then having almost no help as I recover. And almost no maternity leave.

Confessional #22162828

I had 4th degree tearing w/ DD (#1) and still deal w/ both anal and urinal incontinence. Labor and delivery were traumatic AF. Now H is insisting on a #2. Motherfucker, I will divorce you over this! There! Will never! Be! Another! Baby! From! This! Body!

Confessional #19614676

Advocating for yourself while in the throes of labor and delivery can be so difficult. And parents shouldn’t have to feel like they need to, but sometimes doctors and nurses can be desensitized to the fear and struggles of laboring parents.

Always been pro-choice but having PTSD from my delivery made me extremely more so. Adoption wouldn’t have changed what they did to me and I will NEVER fully recover from it.

Confessional #23761809

I have to get this out. I love my kids more than anything, but I resent everything they did to me to bring them into the world. Pregnancy and delivery were traumatic. The pain for months after. My body now. I wish I could've adopted my same DC instead.

Confessional #23520157

My pregnancy was terrible. I was poor, young, alone, and scared. My labor was natural and I tore from front to back. I have such weird feelings when I see PG moms. Over all I just want them to feel differently than I did.

Confessional #19375665

PATTCH considered a traumatic birth to be when the individual (mother, father, or other witness) believes the mother’s or her baby’s life was in danger, or that a serious threat to the mother’s or her baby’s physical or emotional integrity existed.

Following a traumatic birth, some of these people go on to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is a severe and long-lasting reaction to the trauma.

I’m in labor. To deliver my stillborn girl. 30 weeks.

Confessional #18922522

Getting pregnant again so soon after my son was stillborn was not a good idea. I'm a fucking basketcase.

Confessional #1680178

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my fourth. My third was stillborn in August. I wanted this baby but I am so fucking terrified and am constantly questioning why I'm putting myself through this.

Confessional #1669291

Regardless of the level of trauma a laboring parent endures, the fact of the matter is that the U.S. has a lot of work to do to ensure healthy, safe births. The maternal death rate is the highest out of any developed country, and more American women are dying of pregnancy-related complications than anywhere else. The rate of women who die as a result of childbirth is rising here, and it isn’t rising anywhere else.

I think I still have PTSD from my horrible childbirth experience, it's been 2 years

Confessional #1752300

Pregnant w/#2 and the fear just caught me that I could die in childbirth and leave my precious DS2yo behind. If I think about it too much, I cry. What have I done???

Confessional #1751523

People think I don't have kids because I don't want to lose my figure. Nope - not even close. I've just always "known" somehow that I will die in childbirth.

Confessional #1734609

Maybe these moms would feel safer if medical professionals and lawmakers actually listened to them, instead of fellow moms in a confessional.