Parenting

‘Tree Man’ Is Breaking The Internet And Everyone Wants To Climb Him

by Cassandra Stone
Image Via Instagram

If you’re looking for one reason to not hate the internet today, Tree Man delivers.

Gather ’round, kittens, and listen to the tale of “Tree Man.” While he is a mere mortal, he is also taller than your family’s Christmas tree and is built like if The Rock and Superman combined bodies. He is Danny Jones, an online fitness instructor, and he is breaking the internet today. (Well, him and covfefe.)

Tree Man is indeed the physical embodiment of the Lumbersexual Movement. I mean, the Paul Bunyan stature alone is just incredible. And look, it’s not like we’re objectifying him because don’t act like you’ve never shamelessly ogled a beautiful sequoia before. Yep, that’s it. He’s like a one-man forest, and we’re all getting one with nature over here.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUnqAazFX10/?taken-by=dannyjonesfitness&hl=en

See? Just appreciating the great outdoors, nothing to see here.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUS-F89FjpQ/?taken-by=dannyjonesfitness&hl=en

Twitter user @vickto_willy shared a couple of photos of Danny earlier this week, and things escalated quickly.

While many replies from Tree Man’s new fan club were of a, uh, sensitive nature, there were plenty of tweets that will make you say “this is me.”

Truly, Mary Catherine Gallagher is all of us. Evergreen GIF usage FTW.

https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/869461135996727296

If the Discovery Channel can’t turn that tweet into some sort of survival show reality, can they at least get Tree Man to host one?

Let’s not forget that ladies aren’t the only ones transfixed by all that is Tree Man.

https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/869352792950833152

LOL.

I mean, how can you not get on board with this viral sensation?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTkoZM8l9Hp/?taken-by=dannyjonesfitness&hl=en

Sweet Jesus. Someone fetch me the smelling salts.

He is the literal size of a doorway.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQANI_hFo77/?taken-by=dannyjonesfitness&hl=en

He is taller than your average refrigerator.

You know what’s so weird? When most men take shirtless selfies, it’s all we can do to stifle our groans and eye rolls (weirdo guys from high school Facebook, I’m talking to you). But when Tree Man shares a shirtless selfie?

It’s not that bothersome. Hmm.

(h/t Buzzfeed)