20 Hilarious Tweets You'll Love If You Hate People

by Joanna McClanahan
Twitter / @halleratyou

There are two kinds of people: People who admit to hating people sometimes and people who are full of shit about hating people sometimes.

We all go through stages of being depressed by the stupidity of others. Some of us have considered being a hermit in the mountains, at one point, just to avoid having to deal with other people.

I do as much shopping online as I can, just so that I avoid people. I prefer the drive-thru to going in because I have to interact with less people. I dread taking my kids to places where they can play with other kids because of the germs that I’m convinced will make our family sick for the next month…and also, people. (Well, and so that I don’t have to put on real pants either.)

Luckily the hilarious people of Twitter understand hating people better than anyone.

Starting with the most basic tenet of people-hating:

We’re cold and distant and have learned to accept this about ourselves:

We only ever agree to plans after we have the final head-count:

And we share a mutual hatred for homemade videos:

As well as a shared dread for wearing swimwear in front of others:

But as much as we hate people, we fucking love dogs:

And online shopping:

We love technology in general:

To be fair, a lot of us don’t really like ourselves either. But others are worse.

I hate people who send creepy messages:

I hate people who don’t know how to order:

I don’t even like my own family sometimes:

Not my husband:

I even strongly dislike my own kids sometimes:

I definitely dislike my own friends sometimes:

I’m sure it is mostly because of my anxiety:

…and depression:

…and apathy:

…and exhaustion:

But no matter the reasons I have for hating others, I’m not a great person either:

Luckily we live in a world that allows us to text instead of talk on the phone, and about a million other ways to avoid human contact. Unfortunately, social media has made me hate people in a whole new way.

There is something about the anonymity of the Internet and the toxicity of current state of the world that has made me hate people on a whole new level. At least dogs are still cool.